Meredith loved being a mom. It was a weird thing because at one point in her life she thought she would never quite love someone the way you were supposed to and then she met Derek. Meeting Derek she was sure she was done. She could never love anyone else as much as she loved him and then she had become a mother. It had changed everything. She loved it.

Now, as they drove their rental car to his mother's, she knew life was changing. Their child was about to undergo treatment for Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. They had an early meeting with Arizona and they would find out just what it would take to beat the cancer. She was a doctor and suddenly she felt like she knew nothing. She couldn't even figure out what they would do for her child. She did have an idea that it would take chemotherapy or radiation to kill the cancer cells and she also knew that both medications could have long lasting effects on a five year old.

It made her made her sick. Then they had taken an evening flight from Seattle to New York and it hadn't been easy. From the moment they took off to the moment they landed, poor Ava had been horribly ill. The add Zola being fussy because it was bed time and a nervous little boy. It wasn't easy and now she was just somewhat relieved as they made their way to his mother's street. "Hmm."

"They're sound asleep." Derek whispered, glancing into the back seat of the car where his children were.

"Hunter's been really worried about Ava." Meredith spoke quietly. She loved how close her children were.

"Did he say something to you?"

"No." Meredith looked back. Ava's head was resting on Hunter's shoulder. "He kept rubbing her head before he fell asleep and he just kept watching her on the plane."

"I don't think we should wake them up...they can see my mom in the morning." Derek sighed, pulling into the driveway.

"I agree." Meredith sighed. "Ava needs a bath but that will have to wait until morning."

"Here we are." He turned the car off.

"Just wake Hunter to walk in the house." Meredith unbuckled her seatbelt. "I'll grab Zola."

"I can carry him."

"You need to carry Ava."

"Okay." He sighed, getting out of the car and opening the back door, gently waking up his son. "Hey bud...we're here..."

"Okay Dad." Hunter yawned, stretching his arms before getting out of the car.

"You can go upstairs and get right into bed." Derek patted his son's back before lifting Ava out of the car.

"Shh..." Meredith patted Zola's back as she began to stir and they walked up the sidewalk.

"I'm going to change her into her pajamas and tuck her in." Derek whispered, ringing the doorbell.

"Okay." Meredith sighed before the door opened.

"There you guys are." His mother breathed with a sigh of relief as she bent over to hug her grandson. "I was getting worried."

"We got caught up at baggage claim." Derek whispered.

"Well you two go get those kids in bed and I'll be in the kitchen." His mother backed up, ushering towards the staircase.

"Thank you." Meredith smiled weakly.

"Thanks Mom." Derek sighed, heading up the stairs with Ava in his arms as Meredith followed behind him carrying Zola.

"Your PJ's are in the bag Hunter." Meredith tossed a blue duffle onto the comforter.

"My red ones?" Hunter asked.

"Yes...I put a pair for your sister's in there too." Meredith replied.

"Can I stay in the same room with Ava?" Hunter looked up at Meredith.

"Of course." Meredith leaned over to kiss his cheek.

"Go put your PJ's on and brush your teeth." Derek handed his son a toothbrush.

"Daddy...I'm tired." Ava yawned as Derek started to change her into her pajamas.

"I know sweetie." He whispered. "You can go back to sleep."

"Okay..." Ava curled up after Derek finished putting her night gown on.

"They can sleep in here tonight and we can sleep in the room across the hall with Zola."

"Goodnight Ava...I love you." Derek whispered, kissing her cheek and taking Zola so that Meredith could kiss Ava goodnight.

"Love you Ava." Meredith stroked her hair before standing up and Hunter walked back into the room. "Give me a hug good night Hunter."

"Night Mommy." Hunter hugged Meredith before crawling into bed.

"I love you Hunter."

"Night bud. We love you too." Derek patted his son's head and left the dark bedroom.

"Okay...want to put Zola in the crib?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah." He nodded, going across the hall into his old bedroom where his mother had set up Zola's crib. He kissed her goodnight and placed her into the crib and went back out into the hallway where Meredith was staring at the other bedroom door. "She's down."

"Downstairs?" Meredith breathed.

"Yeah." Derek nodded.

"Let's go." Meredith took his hand and they walked down the hall.

"They have no idea what's about to happen."

"Neither do we." Meredith breathed as they walked into the kitchen where his mom was sitting with milk and cookies.

"Meredith...Derek..." His mother stood, opening her arms wide to Meredith.

"Hi." Meredith murmured.

"Oh...dear. I'm so sorry." Mrs. Shepherd whispered, hugging Meredith.

"Thank you for letting us come and stay here." She breathed.

"Of course."

"We have an appointment in the city tomorrow with Arizona." Meredith added. "To see what the next step is."

"She's the best." Mrs. Shepherd smiled weakly, looking at Derek and opening her arms. "Come here."

"Mom..." Derek whispered.

"She's going to be perfectly fine."

"She has to be."

"Well this family is coming together for her." His mother assured him. "And I will help wherever I can."

"Thank you." Meredith smiled.

"We um...we shipped a lot of stuff so it should be here in the next few days." Derek breathed.

"We'll make this home." Mrs. Shepherd replied.

"Arizona said we have to start treatment right away." He sat down at the kitchen table.

"It will be Chemo or radiation." Meredith added.

"She's a strong little girl." Mrs. Shepherd poured them each a cup of coffee.

"She's already sick...I can't imagine her getting more sick from all of the medication." Meredith looked down at the table.

"Have you told her?" His mother asked.

"We have." Meredith nodded. "She didn't get it...later we told Hunter and he was confused but he knows cancer isn't good."

"He sat with her and held her hand the whole flight." Derek breathed, looking into the cup of coffee in front of him, trying to hold back tears.

"How is her eating?"

"She eats hardly anything...and what she does it she can barely keep down."

"They think that might be caused by the lump...mass in her stomach."

"But I thought leukemia..." Mrs. Shepherd frowned.

"It spread." Derek told her.

"We'll know just how much and how advanced it is tomorrow morning." Meredith crossed her arms.

"And what the prognosis is." Derek added.

"Wow..." The older woman wiped tears from her eyes. "Well it's going to be a long road but you will stay here and you have a whole family to help you both, Ava and the other two children."

"We have to find a school for Hunter." Derek held the warm cup of coffee in his hands.

"And a home schooling program for Ava." Meredith added.

"I will do some research tomorrow while you're at the appointment." Mrs. Shepherd added.

"Thanks Mom."

"I'm here for whatever you two need."

"Right now...a reason why this happened." He put his head in his hands.

"Sometimes things happen that we just don't understand Derek." His mother reached for his hand.

"I know. I know that."

"Well I will try to make it as easy for you as possible."

"Thank you." Meredith smiled.

"I told her you'd make some chicken soup." Derek smiled weakly.

"I will make those kids whatever they want."

"It was the only thing she said she wanted to eat."

"I have some stored in the freezer." Carolyn Shepherd added. "And I will make more tomorrow."

"Great." Derek finished off his cup of coffee.

"And I can't wait to spend quality time with all three of those children."

"Ava can't wait to show you her dolls."

"I look forward to it."

"Does everyone know already?" Derek asked quietly. Since they had found out, everything had happened so fast and he wasn't sure if all the family nearby knew what was going on.

"I figured it was easier if I told everyone instead of you having to call and break the news to everyone."

"Hmm..." He breathed.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Mrs. Shepherd nodded.

"I'm sorry in advance if Zola wakes up crying tonight." Meredith apologized. "She doesn't get up every night but she's in a new place."

"Don't worry dear."

"I want to check on Ava." Derek stood up quickly as he heard some stirring above them.

"Alright."

"I'll um...I'll be back." Derek disappeared from the kitchen.

"Why don't you go upstairs too...try to get some rest." Mrs. Shepherd suggested. "Tomorrow's not going to be easy."

"That might be a good idea."

"I'll have breakfast and coffee for you in the morning before you go."

"Thank you so much." Meredith stood.

"Don't mention it." The older woman hugged her. "Get some sleep."

"I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay dear."

"Goodnight." Meredith turned quietly and left the kitchen. Their lives had changed so much already but tomorrow it changed in a more dramatic way. Ava's life would officially be different and Meredith wasn't sure she could stomach just what was about to come into their lives. She didn't want to close her eyes and tomorrow would bring about all of that change.

You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes