Chapter 4

Zoro turned and twisted inside his bed. He was having a nightmare: Kuina was at the kitchen with her piggybank in her arms. She was staring at him biting her lower lip and at the verge of crying. In front of her was an angry Zoro, screaming and pointing at her.

"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MESS WITH ME ANYMORE, KUINA! WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU TO TREAT ME LIKE THIS? KUINA! YOU MAKE ME BUY YOU A PIGGY BANK, YOU CAN´T AFFORD AND THEN YOU TRY TO MANIPULATE ME TO GIVE IT TO YOU FOR FREE! YOU ARE A SELFISH BITCH!"

Kuina stared back at him frozen and with the saddest expression.

The scene was heartbreaking for the swordsman, he looked so cruel. How could he be so mean to his little girl? Yeah, she had done things wrong, but he couldn´t treat her like that.

He woke up. He was sitting on the bed, very agitated and sweating. It was the third time that night he had woken up with the same dream. He stood up and decided to start his morning training earlier today.

He quickly put on some pants, grabbed a pair of sandals and 5 minutes later he was running by the side of the lake.

In the past he never ran for training, because he always got lost, but since Kuina had taught him that if he ran around the lake, always with the shore by his left, he wouldn´t get lost; he´d return to the deck at the back of his house, right where he started.
He smiled remembering the day she told him that. It was last year, they had been living in that house since she was one, but it wasn't until she turned four, that the construction was finally complete.
When she turned 4 Zoro decided that she should start training every day, one hour in the afternoon. He taught his daughter the basics of swordplay. The little girl got bored quickly, so he had to invent games to trick her into practice. Then he realized that even though she was full of energy she´ll have to discipline her body for the future and heavier training. He asked her pediatric what kind of exercises would be ok to do with her. The doctor advised him that running would be appropriate for her age. Bad news for Zoro, he thought at first but he would be surprised.
Everything happened as expected: He started running from his house - holding Kuina´s hand - and a few feet later the woods turned into a maze. He stopped, scared, not for his sake. He was used to getting lost and wandered aimlessly around for days but he couldn´t do that with Kuina. He couldn´t get lost with his child and let her starve and freeze in the forest.
He'd panicked. For the first time he put his fatherhood in doubt, what if he couldn´t do it? He could fight and beat anything, but his lacking sense of direction, after all those years, was unfixable.
His mind started to run at full speed, filling him with doubts and fears when he felt Kuina´s little hand tugging his.
"Daddy" sounded her soft voice "Aren´t we going to run?".
He looked at her and with his eye glistening from despair he told her: "We… I´m… I got us lost" and knelt down to be at eye level with her.
The tiny toddler stared at him blankly for a couple of seconds: "Daddy, the house is right there, we have to turn left around that tree, walk till we see a big rock that looks like a surfboard and then right on and we´ll be there." She pointed in the right direction.
Zoro jaw dropped, big time, he ran his arms around her tiny body and crushed her against his chest.
That was the day he found out Kuina was, well, as he called her, directionally gifted. That was the day, also, she realized her daddy had problems with routes.
Since then she always tried to help him with that: she taught him songs, made drawings on the floor, whatever she thought would assist him.
"Daddy, I thought of a way you could run alone: run around the lake with the shore on your left side!"
He remembered and grinned while running. She was a genius.
She was a fast learner when it came to sword fighting, which was his inheritance. He was sure of it, but when she showed him that kind of intelligent resolutions, he always thought about her mother.
He didn´t notice it, but he started running faster.
Yeah, she had his green hair and it was all he could see of him in her appearance. On the other hand when he looked at the little Kuina, he saw her. She was the exact miniaturized copy of her mother, she had her intelligence and as if that wasn´t enough, he was starting to realize that she was developing her personality. That subconscious assumption was the reason of his horrible nightmare. One question stayed in his mind: was it right to be so angry at her?

FLASHBACK: 7 YEARS AGO

The moonlight barely illuminated one of the Thousand Sunny´s quarters. Inside it, over a messy bed were Zoro and Nami. The green haired had his back against the wall and his eyes closed, over his bare chest rested the navigator, who had a loose blanket wrapped around her body. His left arm relaxed over her left shoulder while his right hand was playing patterns on top of the red head´s belly. She had her hands on top of his and her eyes were lazily opened.

"Robin told me she is leaving the crew" She commented.

"Really?" He didn´t sound very surprised.

"Yep, her and Franky, in a month," her hand caressed his.

"First the Ero Cook then Brook" He commented.

"They want to settle down" She tilted her head to look at him.

He didn´t say anything and continued with his eyes closed.

She nipped his neck softly.

"Settle down, they are old" he snorted.

She giggled "You wouldn´t leave this life of piracy and adventure, right?"

He chuckled and opened his eyes. "It´s not as much fun as it used to be, but it´s all I know." He hugged her around the waist.

Nami relaxed her head on his chest and sighed.

"Why? Are you planning to leave us?" He moved his body to look into her eyes.

She smiled, noticing the concern in his eyes. "I´m not planning to leave you." She said it in a way he couldn´t tell if she was talking about leaving him or the crew. "I have maps to draw," she kissed him softly.

He grinned at her response and deepened the kiss. The red head ran her arms around his neck and he pushed her down to the mattress. "I don´t see you doing any mapping" he broke the kiss and grinned.

Her hands danced over his chest "Do you want me to go mapping?" she asked seductively.

He looked at her seriously. "I don´t want you to go!" He kissed her sweetly for a few seconds until Nami hugged him tighter, pulling him down on her.

END OF FLASHBACK

He stopped at the side of the deck and walked slowly inside the house.

"KUINA WAKE UP!" He yelled and moved to the second floor. He opened the door of her room and called her again "Kuina!"

The girl hid her head under the pillow "Shh… sleep"

He smiled. Well, maybe she had gotten her passion for sleeping from him.

Oooo

Nami finished washing the breakfast dishes at Nojiko´s house when her sister entered holding her 2 years old daughter in her arms.

"Aunty Nami wants to hold you," she told the toddler.

The red haired turned and looked at her sister "I don´t know…" but it was too late. Nojiko was placing the girl in her arms.

Nami held her awkwardly for a couple of seconds until she relaxed "She is too cute" she smiled.

"Yes, she is." She toyed with her little feet.

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes. Nojiko noticed the way Nami looked at the baby: it was a mix of curiosity and sadness.

"Do you want to meet her some day?" The blue haired asked softly.

Nami looked at her sister not getting the question until she recognized the melancholic stare. "I probably shouldn´t"

"I´m not asking what you should do" Nojiko insisted.

Nami didn´t answer and looked down at the baby.

"She is the smartest kid I know and I knew one when I was young that was a genius" Nojiko commented.

Nami remained looking down without moving.

"You should see her holding her father´s hand, guiding him around the island, it´s the cutest scene" she continued.

Nojiko heard her gulp and resumed with the story. "Every now and then they end up passing by a store and she makes him buy her ice cream or toys. He complains every time, but he always ends up doing what she wants," she giggled softly remembering.

For the first time Nami tilted her head and looked at her sister with watery eyes.

"She is great" She smiled at her.

Ding-dong sounded the door.

"Give her to me, it must be Pauly who forgot something" Nojiko extended her arms "It´s bath time" she said to the child.

Nami gave her the baby and sat down at the table while her sister moved to answer the door. She got lost in her own thoughts: How it felt to hold such a tiny baby, how fragile it seemed, how heartless you have to be to leave such a small and vulnerable baby. Her throat tensed, she had never thought of it like that until a couple of months ago. She felt her eyes fill with tears.
She'd always wondered if they had made the right decision, lately she started to doubt about it. Especially if it had been a one-sided decision, her decision and a few months ago something she had been trying to avoid, appeared: guilt.

"Nami" a male voice called her.

She turned around to face him and at the same time, tried to wipe the tears from her eyes with her hand.

Roronoa Zoro was in front of her, a few steps behind him, Nojiko staring at them.

She panicked but noticed he looked different from yesterday. She couldn´t move or speak, anything.

He looked at her in the eyes "Nami… I… I just wanted to say… I´m sorry" His sight shifted down, ashamed.

Nami´s chin trembled.

"I was way out of line yesterday. I didn´t mean the things I said," he continued calmly. "I don´t expect you to forgive me. I just thought through what happened and… Well, I know you are a good person inside, I know you would never want to put Kuina in danger and I know you are too stubborn to ask for help but if you came to me, it must be because you are in deep trouble - so, if you need my help…," he looked at her grinning timidly. "I´m here for you!"

Nami was flabbergasted. She couldn´t believe what she was hearing. She was sure she deserved everything Zoro had told her the day before, how could he have changed his mind? How could he look at her like that? Like he still appreciated her, like he still cared! Sometimes it seemed like Zoro had more faith in her than herself. It was extremely self assuring but it also made her feel awful about the tricks, lies and everything wrong she had done to him.

Zoro waited for her to say something and after a couple of seconds he interrupted her trance: "Well, I´ll be at my house, if you need anything!"
He turned around to go.

Nojiko, who was jaw dropping while holding the baby, shot Nami a glance.

"Zo…Zoro!" She ran after him.

The green haired turned around and found her closer than he imagined. Her hand jumped to hold his.
"I´m…I´m sorry" She whispered almost inaudible. The mere fact of speaking those words aloud and looking him in the eye made the red head start crying and look away.

When he said those words before, about forgiving her, he had felt stupid. He had swallowed all his pride and taken the risk of being played by her again, but he'd done it anyway, because he had thought it through: Nami wasn´t a selfish bitch, she still was a scared little girl. Now he looked at Nami hiding her eyes, her voice breaking, and her soft sobbing. He felt relieved doing it. He'd been right, her reaction proved it to him.
He put his big hand under her chin and lifted her head so he could see her face. His hand shifted to clean it from the tears. "It´s ok."

She glanced at him again, he looked so calm. She stopped crying but she couldn´t say anything.

Zoro looked at her sister: "Nojiko, could you fetch Kuina from school today and watch her?"

The blue haired nodded.

"So, tell me about those Shamanic pirates" he asked and walked her outside the house.

The two of them went around the island. She started telling her story, he listened carefully without interrupting her. He took the opportunity to examine herShe looked exactly like he'd remembered her: long wavy, tangerine hair, peachy pale skin, breathtaking silhouette, the only thing that looked different on her were her eyes. They didn´t have that fiery spark they had when they were sailing the seas on the Thousand Sunny and they didn´t contain that dull shade of gloominess that he noticed when they met at Cocoyashi more than 5 years ago. They looked cold and hurt.
After a couple of minutes of walking they ended at the beach.

"Really Nami? I don´t get you. Couldn´t you give those guys the pearl so they leave you alone? Aren´t you rich enough already?" He asked her.

He didn´t want to judge her, she knew it, he just wanted to understand her.

"No" she crossed her arms over her chest and pouted "I need it"

He sighed, grinning a little. Those reactions were totally Nami and he liked that she was herself, or well, that she was like he used to know her at those times, he considered the best of their lives.

"Come on! Just come with me and scare them a little, so they´ll leave me alone," she pouted. "I bet you haven´t gotten a decent fight in years!"

He sighed again "Decent… No I haven´t but the pirate I bumped in yesterday didn´t seem too challenging"

They walked side by side at the shore, the water of the sea splashing against their feet.

"Are you going to help me or not?" She stopped walking and placed her arms on her hips.

Zoro who'd continued walking for a few steps turned around to look at her.

"You never paid me your debt, you know," she said trying not to giggle, but a small smirk formed on her lips.

He chuckled "Now you are extorting me"

She smiled at him and he had no other option but to grin at her. "I already told you I was going to help you and don´t worry, I´ll accept the consequences. I´m doing this because I want, not because of you extorting me."

"Zoro," she said as if she had just been found out.

He turned around to keep walking but she pulled his hand. He looked back at her curiously, but she was looking at her feet.

"Hey," he said and seconds later she crushed her body against his and hid her face in his chest. He hugged her protectively. "Everything is going to be ok," he really was intrigued with the powers those shamanic pirates could have, if they could make Nami so scared.

"Thank you, Zoro!" She hugged him tightly.

He couldn't help but smell the fragrance of her hair. It still seemed so familiar. The thing he had forgotten was how tiny she felt between his arms, how fragile. He felt he didn´t care about whatever she had done before, he would protect her.

She allowed herself to close her eyes for a few seconds and feel his warm skin against her cheek. He was so big, nothing could hurt her when she was with him. She thought about how paradoxical it was that she felt indestructible when she was with him, he was invincible to the rest of the world, but she knew she was his Achilles heel. She could break him with one snap of her fingers. She wasn´t proud of it. She hated it. She hated making him feel like that, it was as if she was poison, the devil and he was an angel with his cheek swollen and red from turning them to her. And after knowing all of this, she was there with him, between his arms and not regretting a second of it.

Her face tilted up and she stared into his eyes. He felt as if time had frozen, for a moment he was on the deck of the Thousand Sunny in one of their past rendezvous. Her face looked so…, her lips were getting closer, so tempting.

"Let´s get them!" He broke the hug.

"Wha?" Nami stared at him. She felt as if someone had just popped her bubble.

"Those pirates" He insisted.

She sighed. Of course she wanted to kiss him and hug him and stay there with him, but she didn´t want to hurt him again and she knew that if she did something like that it would only mess up things for worse. "Oh…yeah… I have to get something I left at Nojiko´s"

He nodded and the two of them started walking back.

"Kuina must be at her house" he said looking at the sun.

"I´ll sneak in, don´t worry about it" she grinned. That´s when she noticed that they had been holding hands for the whole time. She didn´t comment anything about it. She was guiding him, it was imperative to hold him in order to do it more efficiently so why would she say something about it that could jeopardize the warm feeling of his big and calloused hand holding hers.

They arrived close to Nojiko´s house. "Wait there, I´ll be back in a minute"

Zoro sat down at a park bench a few blocks from Nojiko´s house. He watched her go.
He sighed remembering the day she left the crew. None of the remaining Mujiwaras had seen her for the whole day. He'd knocked on her door, but she never answered it, he prevailed and after half an hour of no response he was about to knock the door down. Then, as he turned the knob, it opened smoothly. He knew that something was wrong the second he noticed it wasn´t locked. The room was perfectly neat, not a single shirt out of her closet, nor a map on her table. On top of her desk there was a note. It read: "Dear Mugiwaras. My time on this crew is over, sorry you have to found about it this way, but I´m a big chicken to face you with the news. I know you won´t be shocked, because I´m not the first one to go. I just wanted to let you know that I love you, all of you, thanks for everything. Don´t come search for me, I´m ok… let me process this for a couple of months and I bet we´ll meet again on one of the seven seas", signed Nami.
That second he'd felt as if his heart had shrunken, his mouth got dry and he forgot how to breathe. Since that day he had never been the same.
As she disappeared from his view he took a deep breath.

Nami sneaked into her sister's house. Luckily she was alone. She ran to her sister´s room and heard the sound of the main door opening.

"And then when the teacher asked I raised my hand and no one knew the answer," the voice of a little girl sounded.

"Wow Kuina! Even I don´t know the answer" Nojiko said.

Nami softly closed the door and the sound of voices faded out, as they moved to the kitchen.

She searched for her back pack. She cursed; Nojiko had taken it out of the bathroom where she'd left it. She moved back to the room and spotted it on top of a chair.

"Who are you?" the soft voice of a child called her.

Nami panicked. She didn´t want to turn around knowing that the reason of her worst fears was right behind her. She gulped. "I´m one of Nojiko´s friends"

"What are you doing here? Auntie Nojiko is in the kitchen," she commented happily.

Nami still couldn´t get how she had been able to sneak up on her like that. "I´m looking for something I left here and I´ll be gone. I don´t want to bother her" she nervously searched through the back pack trying not to look at her.

She moved next to her. "I´m Kuina"

Like in slow motion the red head turned her face to the source of the voice. The pearl that she was holding between her fingers fell with her body to the ground. She ended up sitting on the floor. Kuina stared at her smiling.
Nami froze. She looked exactly like her at that age. It was amazing, she had seen photos of herself at that age and she was the copy, the green haired copy.

"Are you ok?" the little girl asked.

Nami opened her mouth but the words didn´t flow.

"Is this what you were looking for?" The little girl grabbed the pearl and put it into her t-shirt pocket.

She extended her arm and her hand caressed her little cheek. She was the cutest and most amazing thing she had ever seen.

"Why are you crying? Are you hurt?" Kuina asked worried.

"No… I´m ok" Nami said sniffing the tears away.

The girl smiled.

"I have to go," the navigator said to herself. " I have to go," she said to the girl and stood up.

"Oh… Ok" The girl looked down.

"I," Nami said when she noticed the change in her attitude. "I heard you want to be a pirate when you grow up!"

The green haired child looked at her and nodded exited.

"You know what you need?" She said assuring.

"What?" The girl said with enthusiasm.

Nami took off the pose from her wrist. "A log pose!," she gave it to her.

"NO WAY! A LOG POSE" She cheered overly excited.

Nami couldn´t help but to smile from ear to ear after her reaction. "You´ll need that if you want to sail…"

"In the Grand line, I know!" The little girl interrupted her, but didn´t take her eyes off the pose.

The red head smiled wider, proud. Apparently Nojiko was right: she was really smart. "Well I have to go now. It was nice meeting you… Please don´t tell…"

"…My aunt you were here. I know, you don´t want to bother her" Kuina said, she didn´t sound as cheerful as before.

"Exactly" Nami moved away.

The little girl waited for the red head to go, put the pose inside her front pocket pouch and returned to the kitchen.

"Lunch is ready!" Nojiko called her.

The little girl sat at the table "Nee, auntie when I´ll become a pirate, you´ll miss me, right?" she asked

"OF COURSE! Thanks god that it would be in many, many years" Nojiko said and hugged her.

"Don´t worry I´ll write you a letter every week" Kuina smiled at her.

"Really? I bet you´ll be a really busy pirate to write me every week" The blue haired said as she served her lunch.

"Yes but I wouldn´t mind, I wouldn´t want you to be sad missing me" she took a sip of the juice.

Nojiko kissed her head. "You are so cute"

TBC

THANKS FOR READING, PLEASE REVIEW!

~Karen K.

Special thanks to BlueLion my betareader!

A/N: Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers you make me deeply happy.

epaulineb, fmdevil, Kawaii Neko Nami, Mushroom Pizza, woowoo13, Yuseff-san and the everchanging