Ava had been in surgery for over three hours. It had been three hours and absolute torture and Derek had no idea when it was going to be over. Alex had come out a few times to update them and the last time he had come out, he had told them that they were having more trouble removing the mass then they had expected and the surgery would be a lot longer than anticipated. He had updated his mom and
the rest of his family at home but right now all he wanted was for Alex or Arizona or anyone to come out and tell him that his daughter was okay and it wasn't happening.
"Mark is going to take Hunter to the park to distract him." Derek breathed, reading a text message off of his phone to Meredith. He had to be at the hospital with Meredith but it was killing him that he couldn't be at home to comfort Hunter too.
"Good...okay..." Meredith shifted, looking at her watch. "What if they nicked her bowel?"
"They would have told us..."
"Maybe she's bleeding too much and..."
"It's just what Alex said. They're having more trouble removing it...and she'll be out soon." Derek breathed.
"Did Mark mention how Zola was doing with your Mom and Lexie?"
"He said she's a little fussy but okay."
"Okay."
"Hunter keeps asking if he can come and see her." Derek sighed.
"I'm sure tomorrow is fine if he and Zola don't have a fever or a cold."
"It's been more than three and a half hours." He whispered, checking his watch.
"What if..."
"I just...they would have told us if anything was wrong..."
"That's what we would do." Meredith shrugged, standing up.
'And so would Arizona."
"She could be seizing."
"Meredith." Derek stood up, putting his hands on her shoulders.
"Derek..." Meredith gasped, her chest feeling tight.
"She's okay...she's in good hands."
"I just...my chest feels tight..." Meredith breathed, running her hand over her chest.
"Take a deep breath." He whispered.
"Meredith...Derek..." Arizona walked out of two doors, Alex following behind her.
"Arizona." Derek turned around, holding onto Meredith's hand tightly.
"We were able to remove the mass." Arizona crossed her arms. The surgery put a lot of stress on her small body and there were signs that the cancer has spread beyond her stomach. I will do another scan after a few rounds of chemo. I feel that her stomach was the biggest concern."
"Oh..." Meredith breathed.
"Spread...I thought...the doctor in Seattle said it was the stomach and the neck..." Derek whispered.
"We saw growth cells." Alex replied.
"I have faith that we can get most of with the chemo." Arizona added.
"I…how is she?"
"She's still sleeping and she'll be given heavier pain medication for the next few hours so she'll be alert once she awakes but pretty out of it. The Hickman Line is going to cause her some slight aching until her body adjusts." Arizona said slowly. "She's going to need her parents by her side when she wakes up...to hold her hand."
"Can we see her?" Meredith asked.
"They're getting her setlled in a room. A nurse will come take you to her when they're ready."
"Okay..." Meredith nodded.
"She did great." Arizona assured them.
"Thank you...both of you."
"You know where to find me if you need anything." She smiled sympathetically. "Alex will be monitoring her...I have another surgery this afternoon but you have my number."
"I'm going to go check and make sure she is settled in...I'll send the nurse down as soon as I can." Alex smiled.
"Thanks." Derek nodded.
"Hold tight." Arizona smiled, before she and Alex walked away.
"She's okay." He whispered.
"I just want to see her."
"A few more minutes."
"I need to be there when she wakes up Derek."
"We will."
"She's going to hate that catheter."
"Meredith Grey...Derek Shepherd?" A nurse came around the corner, holding a chart.
"Yes?" Meredith turned around, reminding herself to thank Alex.
"Ava is settled if you want to follow me to her room."
"We're coming." Meredith breathed, reaching for her bag.
"She's not awake yet." The nurse told them as they walked towards the room.
"It's good if she's resting." Meredith walked quickly.
"Now she's going to be quite groggy when she wakes up but she shouldn't be in any pain." The nurse stopped in front of a room and opened the door.
"Ava..." Derek breathed, looking at his little girl lying in the hospital bed. She had tubes coming out of her in what seemed like every direction and was hooked up to numerous machines and it took everything Derek had in him to keep it together.
"Ava...baby girl." Meredith whispered, stroking Ava's hair as she sat down on the other side of the bed.
"Hit the button by her bed if you need anything." The nurse smiled before leaving.
"Hey pumpkin..." Derek breathed. "It's Mommy and Daddy."
"We're here." Meredith took her hand.
"You just sleep as long as you need, okay?"
"She looks so little in this bed."
"She looks so helpless." He breathed.
"I'm a doctor and I can't...I've never been more intimidated by wires."
"She's going to be scared."
"But we're going to be here." Meredith breathed, moving to sit next to her little girl.
"We're here." Derek whispered, running his hand over Ava's arm.
"Ava...you did such a good job with your surgery. Now Daddy and I are here and we're going to stay here." Meredith kissed her little girl's cheek. "We're here Ava so you can wake up now."
"Hmm...' Ava made a noise and her eyes fluttered open a little bit.
"Hey there princess." Derek smiled softly, running his thumb over her cheek.
"Hi sweetie." Meredith breathed.
"Mommy..."
"Hi little lady." Meredith breathed.
"Mommy." Ava started to cry.
"Ava..."
"It's okay, Aves." Derek whispered, stroking her arm gently.
"We're here." Meredith kissed her cheek.
"I want to go home." Their little girl cried.
"Oh I know..." Meredith wiped at her eyes.
"Ouchie..." Ava winced.
"What hurts, sweetie?" Derek asked.
"Ouch..." Ava cried.
"I thought they gave her medicine." He frowned. looking up at Meredith.
"I'm sure they did." Meredith looked up at the IV.
"Ava, tell me what hurts."
"Hmph..."
"Where?"
"No..." Ava whined, her eyes closing again.
"We brought you gummy bears."
"Sweetie...if you tell us what hurts we might be able to help." Meredith stroked the small child's hair as she fell back to sleep. "Or...well she's sleeping again."
"She needs the rest." He sighed.
"I just want to hold onto her."
"I know."
"Never let go...or..."
"Mer..."
"Hmm?"
"I don't think Hunter should see her like this."
"I agree." She looked up. "He's going to see her...he'll see her sick enough as it is but this...he's not ready."
"We're not even ready." Derek sighed.
"Ava Sophia..."
"I um...I should call my Mom...and Mark...let them know she's out of surgery."
"Yeah..."
"Do you want a coffee or..."
"Not really hungry or thirsty." Meredith placed her head on the pillow, before stroking Ava's arm.
"I'll be back as fast as I can." Derek whispered, putting a hand on Meredith's shoulder.
"Alright."
"I love you Ava." He breathed.
"She loves you too..."
"I'll be back." Derek breathed, standing in the doorway for a moment and looking at his daughter, lying helplessly in the hospital bed. Before her surgery, he had thought he would be okay. He was around surgeries and recovering patients and all the time and knew what it looked like but there was nothing in the world that could have prepared him to see his little girl lying there in pain.