Disclaimer: As always, I do not own any of the Harry Potter or Harry Potter related copyrights.
Lily and James met up at dinner and had a very nice time. They stuck together and systematically talked to all of the exchange students. Sometimes Lily dominated the conversation, usually when the conversation was centered around school, culture or politics. Luckily, James was there to take over when the students were interested in sports, girls or pranks, and Lily was able to just stand next to James and laugh, smile and nod her head. They made a good team.
Without mishap, the pair, along with the Deputy Headmistress, Professor McGonagall, led the students to the train the following morning. Once the students were settled in, James and Lily made their way to the Heads Compartment. They happily chatted for the entire ride; mostly Lily kept the conversation topics on James and his life, but sometimes he was able to sneak a question about Lily in.
After the ride, the two Heads escorted the students, with Hagrid's help, to the boats where they would ride across the lake like all new-comers to Hogwarts. James and Lily rode to the school in one of the traditional carriages. Lily tried not to look at the Thestrals as she entered the carriage, but James caught her sneak a long glance at them as she climbed in. To him it looked as if she was trying to reclaim some part of her childhood, or perhaps just the innocence of her eleven year old self, her spirit not yet marred by either the scars of lost loved ones, or the deep gashes of prejudice.
Soon the seventh year exchange students were sorted; this was enjoyed greatly by the Hogwarts first years, who liked to see someone else look nervous while waiting to know their fate. Of the thirty students involved in the exchange, four were sorted into Hufflepuff, seven became Slytherins, nine went into Gryffindor and ten became Ravenclaws. They were welcomed into their new houses and at the conclusion of the feast, led through Hogwarts' corridors to their new dormitories.
James and Remus got four new housemates to replace their lost Marauders and Lily, Alice and Marlene got the other five, making a total of eleven girls in one dormitory. Luckily, the room was magically equipped to expand enough to encompass the additional beds and the space necessary to house teenage girls.
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"Good morning class," greeted Professor Gills genially as his seventh year N.E.W.T. class wandered in. It had been just under a month since Lily and James had attended the exchange ball in London and since Richard had taken up his position as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. His charming, seemingly carefree attitude and sharp wit made him one of the students' favorite teachers. His vast knowledge on his subject also led him to be very respected by all except for Lily Evans.
With each and every passing day, Lily was more and more convinced that Richard was a Death Eater. On the other hand, James became less and less sure and was positive that Lily was imagining things. How could someone so nice and friendly, and also a Gryffindor supporter in Quidditch, be a Death Eater? It just didn't fit the stereotype.
"Today we will be covering a very dark branch of magic. With events how they are, Professor Dumbledore and I agree that you should be made more aware of the Unforgivable curses. I know that you have covered them in passing, but it is my opinion that the more you know about something the more you can fear and respect it.
"Take fire for example," said Richard as he waved his wand and a small fireball ignited at the top. "Small children fear it because they do not wish to be burned. However, as you age, you realize that fire is useful if you know how to properly wield it," he said as the made the fireball jump from his wand to his palm. Then he juggled it as if it were an ordinary ball. The class clapped and whistled in admiration; Lily just sat farther back in her seat, crossed her arms and deepened her scowl.
Catching sight of the unimpressed face of his ex-girlfriend, Richard faltered for a moment and then extinguished the fireball by closing his fist around it. A few of the girls gasped, but then let out a sigh of relief when he opened his palm to show that he had not been burned.
"Show-off," murmured Lily to Alice, who was sitting next to her and pretending not to be impressed.
Marlene and Alice, like James, believed that Lily had been mistaken about Richard, and was just upset by their break-up. Also, they all knew that she was prone to periods in which her actions were ruled by passion. Since the beginning of the school year alone she had been depressed, angry, flirty, cruel, mediating, insulted, forgiving, friendly and happy. The last emotion Marly and Alice attributed to James' increased presence in Lily's life as a friend.
"Now who can name all three Unforgivable curses?" asked Professor Gills with a smile that had become his trademark among his female pupils. "Allison, I know that you know them."
Allison blushed and said, "Umm… like the hurting one… and umm… that other one… with the whole mind control thingy and then there's the last one."
Even though Allison acted like a complete idiot, Richard smiled at her and said, "Very nicely put Miss McCormack. Now who can elaborate on Allison's answer?"
Lily saw right through Richard's lovely smile; in fact, she recognized it. It was the same smile he had put on all those times he and Lily had been attending parties together and he was mocking some distinguished guest.
For the next few minutes the students copied down notes about the finer aspects of the cruelest curses known to wizardkind. But what would class be without a demonstration?
"Now," began Richard as he clapped his hands together. "We are in the middle of a war. It is very probable that not long after you graduate, you will be exposed to two or maybe all three of the Unforgivables. So, you will need to be able to identify these curses."
Professor Gills picked up one of the rats that was in a cage on his desk and pointed his wand at it. James and Remus tensed; if they hadn't known that Peter was in another country, they would have been very nervous for their animagus friend.
"This is the Killing Curse," he began. "Avada Kedavra."
To the class, it looked as if causing the green light to emit from his wand pained Richard, as if he felt badly for stealing the life of the rat. Lily knew better; well at least she thought she did. She had always known that Richard was a bit… off, a bit tightly wound, and now she was positive that he was a Death Eater. Thus, from her point of view, his grimace looked more self-satisfied than remorseful.
"Observe the open eyes and surprised expression," said the Professor as he walked around the room pointing out the tell-tale signs of the killing curse.
After making his rounds, Gills disposed of the rat. He then picked up another one. Lily couldn't help but feel a bit sick when he reached his arm into the cage and the rats scurried away from it; it was as if they knew that they were about to get hurt.
Professor Gills, without any warning or explanation then cried, "Crucio!"
The rat squealed and squirmed in Richard's fist, but its shrieks went unheeded. Richard tortured the poor rat for only fifteen seconds, but the class' occupants felt as if it was hours. Who knew such awful sounds could come from an animal so small?
"I am sure that this curse needs no further discussion," said Gills nonchalantly, as if he hadn't just tortured a small animal for almost no reason. "Now for the final curse, I shall need a class volunteer."
As expected, no one raised their hand. Not even a charming Gills smile could coax anyone in the class to be the test subject, not after that last curse.
"So I suppose I shall have to choose then," said Gills with a sneaky smile. "Miss Evans, you have not volunteered any information today in class, so I think that you should be helpful by being the volunteer. Please stand up and come to the front of the room."
Lily kept her face impassive as she stood up from her desk and walked to the front of the room.
"Do not worry Miss Evans, this will not hurt a bit," said Gills with a huge grin. "Imperio! Now, Miss Evans is under my complete control. Whatever I tell her to do, she will do. Miss Evans, jump."
Obediently, Lily hopped in place once. A couple people in the class sniggered at seeing the ice queen of a Head Girl being reduced to jumping at a command like a dog. James, Remus and Alice, however, were not impressed. James was ready to step in if things got ugly; he was starting to see where Lily got her accusations from. Snape was also ready to intervene if necessary, but he was more curious. He knew that Lily could throw off the curse if she wanted to; he had seen her do it numerous times.
"Miss Evans, recite the alphabet."
Lily did as she was told; more students became relaxed and laughed more openly.
"Miss Evans, tell the class your deepest, darkest secret."
James, Severus and Remus were all out of their chairs with wands drawn by the time the last syllable escaped their teacher's mouth. This was not necessary however because Lily turned to him before they could do anything and said, "I don't think so."
The class gasped. Lily didn't appear as if she had had an internal struggle; the book had said that on the rare occasion a wizard was able to throw off the curse, it took a lot of will and a visible struggle.
Richard was surprised along with the rest of the class; he narrowed his eyes and said, "What?"
"I said," said Lily slowly as if she was talking to a small child. "No."
"I suppose I did not cast the spell correctly," said Gills uneasily.
The unnerved class laughed nervously.
"I will try again. Imperio! Now do a handstand."
Lily paused only for a moment before saying, "I don't really want to."
Then Lily walked back to her seat and sat down without another word. The class, teacher included, just stared at her in shock. This was unheard of; it was like the muggle Queen of England pulling a wand out and transfiguring her crown into a peacock.
Then Richard broke the silence by laughing genially. "I guess I wasn't as good at these as I thought; naturally I haven't had a lot of practice." During his last sentence Richard stared directly at Lily. She just maintained his gaze with a cool stare until he looked away.
"Perhaps I could try just once more?" asked Richard, appealing to the class.
Most hands went up; Richard picked another volunteer.
"Imperio. Jump up and down."
The girl did this.
Richard commented, "Now why is it that that one always works? Tell the class on whom you have a secret crush."
The girl didn't even hesitate before she said, "You."
The class burst out laughing and the girl didn't even flinch.
Richard grinned and ordered, "Kiss one of the rats from the cage."
Students fell out of their chairs laughing as their classmate reached down into the cage, picked up a rat and kissed it.
"That's enough," said Richard after he had had a good hard laugh himself.
Then he released the curse and the student looked blankly out at the class and asked, "Why do I have this weird taste in my mouth?"
The class exploded into even more laughter as the poor test subject looked as if she was about to cry as she ran out of the room, totally humiliated.
Then the bell rang. The teenagers stumbled to their feet and gathered their supplies, grateful that their professor hadn't yet assigned an essay and hoping to escape before he had the chance.
"Miss Evans, I'd like to see you for a moment," called Richard just as Lily had reached the doorway.
She sighed and turned around to go back.
James stopped her midway and said, "I'll wait for you in the hall."
Lily nodded and headed back towards Professor Gills.
"Yes Professor?" asked Lily with an overdose of sweetness.
"Cut the crap Lillian! What the hell was that?" asked Richard angrily.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Lily said in her voice which was still laden with sweetness.
"Where did you learn how to throw off an Imperius curse like that? It is unheard of! No one has ever been able to throw off a curse as strong as mine before! It would take hours upon hours of practice!"
"It wasn't that hard Richard; I have learned not to pay any head to orders, so blocking out your commands in my head was nothing new to me," said Lily flippantly.
Richard yelled in frustration. "Why do you insist on being so impossible?! You are so powerful Lillian! He would let you live! Bloodline comes second to true power; and you have true power," he said his voice low and husky towards the end when he grabbed Lily shoulders to make her look him in the eye. "I just want to protect you."
"No! I'm not going to torture and kill people because of an absurd prejudice! It's wrong and you should know that!"
"There's no such thing as right and wrong! Don't be naïve!"
Suddenly, Richard let go of Lily as if he had been burned, and in fact he had. He yelled in pain as he looked down at his red and blistering palms.
"Leave me alone," spat Lily as she turned on her heel and left the room.
"I know what you are!" shouted Richard just as Lily closed the door behind her.
"He knows what you are?" joked James, trying to make the situation better.
"I certainly hope not," said Lily lightly, but her face showed the emotional strain she was suffering.
"Look Lily," said James stopping her in the hallway. "I'm starting to think you were right about Gills, um Richard, about him being uhh evil. But, maybe he's not a Death Eater; it's possible to be involved in the dark arts and not be a Death Eater."
Lily narrowed her eyes and stormed past James without a word. Of course, he followed her and placing a hand on her shoulder, tried to stop her again.
However, she just pushed his hand away and hissed, "Don't touch me."
"Come on Lily!" James called after her. "You don't have any proof! You can't just make such harsh accusations!"
Lily whirled around, the anger visible on her face. "I know that's what you think; Merlin knows you've told me enough, but you're wrong! Believe what you want to believe, but don't try to change my mind."
James walked slowly over to his friend.
"Lily," began James.
"No, stop. I know that I'm not the most emotionally stable person out there, but James, I am not crazy and I am not imagining things. I spent a lot of time with Richard over the last few weeks of the summer, and the clues didn't add up until now, but I know that he is working for Voldemort."
"Okay Lily," said James, defeated.
"Don't patronize me!" shouted Lily.
"Alright, alright," said James soothingly as he back up a few steps, hands up defensively.
"Him being here just puts me on edge, I'm sorry for acting so oddly lately. It will go back to normal once he leaves on Saturday. Everything will be fine," Lily muttered more to herself than James.
Then she looked up at his confused and worried face and implored him, "Please stop looking at me like I'm crazy."
"I'm just… worried about you I guess. We all are," he said cautiously. James had been on the receiving end of far too many of Lily's mood swings in the past month not to have learned to choose his words carefully.
"There's nothing to be worried about," said Lily. "Just the normal teen drama."
James snorted. He couldn't help it. Lily, and normal in the same sentence? Ha!
Lily didn't find it so amusing. She stalked off and James knew better than to follow her this time.
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"Well, my dear students," said Professor Gills, pausing for effect. "This is my last day here as your teacher."
Even though he had only been there for a month, Richard had really won over the student body. There was a lot of wailing and sniffling on the part of the girls, well except for Lily of course, and her loyal friend Alice. Some of the guys even looked disappointed that they were losing such a cool teacher to have around.
"Now I would just like to thank you all for being such bright…"
Lily didn't hear the rest of Richard's speech, because all of a sudden it felt like someone had split open her head with an anvil. She let out her breath sharply and then clenched her jaw, and only barely resisted the urge to scream out loud. She tried to lift her hands up to her head to do anything to alleviate the pain, but she wasn't quite sure that her hands obeyed because she couldn't feel them touch her head. All she could feel was the excruciating pain which wouldn't end.
Eventually she felt herself falling off of her chair and when she hit the ground the pain increased ten-fold, eliciting a blood-curdling scream from her. Somewhere in her clouded mind, Lily was aware that she had hit her head on the stone floor.
What she was not aware of however, was the fact that she was not the only one who was suffering this sudden pain. Her classmates were glancing from their teacher to the Head Girl to Snape, all three of whom were twitching, holding their heads and screaming on the floor.
Finally waking up from her stupor, Alice bounded out of her seat, knocking it backwards in her haste, and ran to her friend's side.
"Lily! Lily!" screamed Alice through her tears. "What's wrong?! Please stop screaming! Please!"
Alice just knelt next to her friend, not touching her for fearing of making it, whatever it was, worse. Within a second, James was right next to Alice with Remus right behind him.
"Someone go get McGonagall or any other teacher! Someone else get Madame Pomfrey! And someone find Dumbledore!" yelled James.
Immediately several Hogwarts students ran out of the room to do this, palms over their ears to try and block out the screams.
"Lily?!" asked James, his voice cracking. He reached out a hand slowly and touched Lily's arm gently, but she didn't respond to his touch at all. She still rocked and writhed on the floor, along with Richard and Severus.
Because touching her didn't seem to hurt her more, James pulled Lily into his lap and rocked her back and forth as if she was a child troubled by a nightmare. Alice sat next to him and stroked Lily's arm soothingly. Remus had his arm around Alice, trying to comfort her.
This was how Madame Pomfrey, Professors McGonagall and Flitwick found the four Gryffindors. Gently, but firmly, McGonagall lifted Lily out of James' arms and levitated her onto a stretcher; Flitwick and Pomfrey did the same for the other two. All three were still screaming, though the screaming had become less loud as their voices became worn out.
Still in shock, the class trailed wordlessly after their teachers to the Hospital Wing and then took residence outside of Wing to wait for results. After about ten minutes, everyone except James, Alice and Remus had left and Marlene had joined them.
The group sat huddled together, thankfully not able to hear the screams of their friend anymore due to a Silencing charm placed around the ward, when suddenly a familiar voice was heard coming from James' pocket.
"Prongs! Prongs?! Are you there?!" asked Sirius.
James slowly took out the mirror he had used to communicate with Sirius over the past month and brought it up to his face. "Yeah, I'm here Padfoot."
Sirius' attitude changed at once when he saw his friend's red rimmed eyes and heard his gloomy voice. "Mate, what happened? What's going on there?"
"I dunno, Lily… Lily's hurt. I don't know how and I don't know why, but she's hurt bad Sirius… really bad," said James.
"Where are you guys?"
"Outside of the Hospital Wing," answered James tiredly. "No one will tell us anything."
Then suddenly, Dumbledore slowly limped by the teenagers and into the Hospital Wing, looking very much like an old man. James and the others tried to speak, but Dumbledore just waved them off and went into the Hospital Wing.
"I got to go mate," said Sirius suddenly. "I have to finish packing. Look, I'll see you tomorrow, right? You and…"
"Yeah, Lily and I will be there tomorrow," said James determinedly. "She'll be fine by then I'm sure."
"Give her my best wishes," said Sirius.
"Will do," promised James.
After a few more tense minutes, McGonagall, came out and addressed the Gryffindors, "You can go in and see her now."
All four jumped up from the floor and rushed by their Head of House to see their friend.
Lily was sitting in one of the Hospital beds, propped up by pillows and smiling. The only sign that she had suffered anything at all was a thin strip of bandages around her head that was covering up the minor head wound she had received when she hit the ground.
Alice and Marlene sat down on either side of Lily on her bed and the boys stood right behind them.
"How are you feeling?" asked Alice worriedly. "Does your head hurt? Are you cold? Do you need another blanket? Do you want a potion for pain? Have you taken anything yet?"
Lily opened her mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Interpreting her silence correctly, Remus put a hand on Alice's shoulder and said, "Alice, I think Lily lost her voice."
Lily started to nod, but then grimaced and stopped. "I can talk a little," she croaked quietly.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" said Alice.
Lily just smiled at her, meaning that there was nothing to be sorry for.
"So, are you feeling better Lily?" asked Marlene.
"Yes," whispered Lily.
Then Madame Pomfrey bustled into the curtained off area that contained Lily and her friends and said, "Now, now, you all must leave. Miss Evans must get her rest since Professor Dumbledore insists that she accompanies Mr. Potter and the exchange students back to London tomorrow."
"I'll be back," mouthed James as he was hustled away.
Lily understood this and smiled. James smiled back.
-----
Later that night, with help from his handy dandy invisibility cloak, James sneaked back into the Hospital Wing to visit his friend.
Lily was awake when James arrived. As he pulled off the cloak, she put aside her novel.
"Hello," she said quietly.
"Your voice sounds better," commented James as he sat down in the nearest chair.
"Yeah," she whispered. "Why are you here?"
"I'm not really sure," admitted James as he leaned towards her and put his forearms on his thighs.
The two friends stayed in silence for a minute, just looking at each other, until James said, "Why did you come over when I was having my nightmares? Why did you forgive me so easily after I called you… the "m" word? Why did you agree to a truce between us? Why don't you hex me all the time anymore? Why do you sometimes tell me stuff about yourself?"
"You forgot the last one," murmured Lily. "Why won't I go out with you?"
James was only thrown off course for a moment. "That one certainly does put a damper on my theory, but it doesn't destroy it because I have thought up a counter to it."
Lily eyed his smirk curiously. She wasn't quite sure how she wanted this conversation to end.
When it became obvious that Lily wouldn't indulge him by asking what his oh so clever response to her refusal to date to him, James just went ahead and told her anyways. "I think you're just scared."
Lily glared at him and opened her mouth to argue, but James hushed her saying, "No really, hear me out. From some of our… arguments, I was able to realize that you didn't really hate me, and you told me that you wouldn't date me because you thought you were bad for me…"
Due to the prodding of her conscience, which still told her it was in James' best interest to not date her, Lily said slowly, "James, it really is in your best interest not to get emotionally involved with me."
James laughed hollowly. "It is far too late for that now Lily. I'm not going to just 'get over this' as you have told me to do so often. I've tried and take my word for it, it didn't work. What are you afraid of? I fancy you, a lot more than I think you realize, and I'm pretty sure that you like me at least a little bit."
Lily put her hand up to the bandage on her hand. "Do you see this? It's just another symbol of the fact that I'm not normal. I'm never going to be that perfect girlfriend you think I would be. My life is so totally convoluted and I think that you would potentially be in danger if…"
"If what?" James interrupted sharply. "What exactly do you think is going to happen if we go to Hogsmeade together or if we hold hands in the hallways?"
"I just don't want to get you involved in all the crap that is my life. But since you don't seem convinced that my life is dangerous, I'll give you a summary. Wizarding world, pure-blooded maniac is on the loose killing muggle-borns like me; muggle world, my step-mother has enough control over my father to have him convinced that marrying me off is what would make me happiest and that he should totally ignore the fact that that's not what I want because what the hell do I know? I'm just a naïve little girl who should do what I'm told. And the only escape I've seen so far out of this, as I have told you, turned out to be evil. So where exactly do you envision yourself fitting in?"
"Sitting next to you and putting food on your plate and convincing you to eat it on those days that you would rather starve yourself and hexing all those creeps you hate when they come too close, and pulling you in from crazy wind storms," said James earnestly. "Please give us a try."
Lily pondered the fact for a moment; then she made a decision that would ultimately change her life as she knew it.
A/N. If I haven't mentioned this before, this story is a bit AU, so her answer may or may not be what you think it will be. Thanks for reading and please review!