When they had returned from the hospital, the first thing their little girl had done was curl up in the bed next to Meredith and fall asleep. She had been sleeping on and off for the past few hours which was expected as her body tried to process the chemo drugs. They had worried about nausea, but after a small bout in the hospital with no vomiting, they had sent her home and told them to watch her closely. Arizona had prescribed Zofran and said that there was a good chance she may have ups and downs as her body reacts. Then, his mother had come in and suggested that she stay with the kids while they escape for a short walk. At first Meredith had refused but after an assuring look from Derek she agreed. Ava was sleeping and they did need a moment to themselves. She missed her husband and they were so used to their time together. She missed her husband even though he was right there. They had focused everything on Ava and now she just needed a moment with the man that had taught her that love and family were all possible in the first place. "So um...the kids seem to like being here."

"I think it's a good thing for them to have so much family around right now." Derek breathed, holding onto Meredith's hand as they walked down the street.

"And Hunter seems to be liking school."

"I knew he would."

"His teacher did a great job helping him adjust." She breathed, looking down at her feet as they walked.

"She did." He nodded.

"And we need to give Ava a bath tonight...six hours in the hospital when it was all said and done reminds me how gross a hospital is. I never notice it when I'm working but when our kids are the patients..."

"It's disgusting."

"Ava liked her nurses today."

"Yeah..." Derek sighed.

"Although I thought she'd be making friends with other five year old's at this point in school."

"You and me both."

"And then Zola...she's so little and she probably thinks we're horrible parents just based on the past two weeks of her life and she doesn't know that we're trying to be really good but Ava's sick and I don't want her to hate us. Do you think...no there is no way a baby could hate..."

"Mer..." Derek breathed, stopping and taking her hands.

"Hey."

"Hi." He whispered.

"I'm rambling."

"You are." Derek chuckled, kissing her softly.

"It happens." She laughed against his lips before they turned to walk again.

"I'm sure Zola doesn't hate us."

"Halloween is in three weeks and I haven't even asked the kids what they want to be...what if Ava can't even go trick or treating? I mean she's not even allowed in grocery stores or malls because they don't want her getting sick."

"We can do something in the house for her."

"Unless she's in the hospital."

"I bet they have something for the kids." He said, walking along with his hand on her back.

"I just...I want her home for Christmas and Thanksgiving."

"I know. I do too."

"I had a lot of ideas how Ava's first year of kindergarten would be..."

"She'll have all of that eventually."

"I never thought I would be the homeschooling type of mom." Meredith laughed as they walked towards a large pond.

"It's kind of hot." Derek smirked.

"Oh is it?" Meredith rolled her eyes.

"It is."

"How exactly is it?" Meredith laughed as they stopped next to an old wooden bench that had been there since Derek had been a child.

"It's a sexy...naughty teacher thing." Derek laughed.

"You are a dirty man Derek." She breathed, leaning into him.

"Hmm..." He smiled, wrapping his arms around her.

"You know this morning I realized we haven't had sex since before we found out which is...I know that's bad to think and it makes you think that..."

"I know."

"We're not used to going this long although I have to say it's been the last thing I've wanted."

"Come here." He breathed, sitting down on the bench.

Hmm?"

"Sit with me."

"Sitting." She breathed, leaning into his shoulder.

"Good."

"This would be a perfect area for walking a dog."

"If we had a dog."

"Hunter asked your Mom for one."

"How did that conversation go?" Derek laughed.

"She said that was up to us one day."

"If it wasn't for the leukemia..."

"I hate that word."

"Me too."

"I hated seeing that first drip go into her line." Meredith whispered.

"It's going to make her better."

"Doesn't mean I have to like what it is going to do to her in the process."

"I know." Derek whispered, rubbing her back.

"I just...she looked scared today."

"But she was so brave."

"That she was."

'"And she seemed to be feeling okay."

"Just sleepy."

"Mmhmm."

"I've come to appreciate laying down with her while she naps even more now." Meredith breathed.

"She never used to nap at all...it was a struggle to get her to rest." Derek laughed weakly.

"Even in my belly she was bouncy...remember how you and Hunter called her jelly bean?"

"I do." Derek laughed.

"I remember with Hunter it was so hard and after the first three month of my pregnancy with her it was perfect."

"She was an easy baby."

"And now she's sick."

"But she's going to be okay." He said quickly.

"Right." Meredith nodded in agreement.

"Healthy as a horse."

"I'm going to end up being a silly helicopter parent who is constantly worried over everything she does." Meredith laughed.

"After this...I think we're allowed."

"Everything happened so fast."

"That's what I was saying to my mom." He sighed.

"I really hope I remembered to throw out the milk before we left."

"I do too."

"I packed everything so quickly."

"Hmm."

"Surprised I didn't forget anything?"

"No."

"I am."

"Okay...maybe a little."

"I thought so." She giggled, looking up at him.

"I love you." Derek whispered.

"I love you too."

"I probably haven't said that lately."

"We both have been a little overwhelmed."

"That's for sure."

"There has been zero us time which is fine because this...Ava is more important but it has been a big change for us too."

"And all of our plans..."

"We can't try for a baby."

"Not right now."

"I...we can't have another baby when our child has cancer."

"I know...and it's not something we even have to think about...but after..."

"We can talk about it after." She nodded.

"I still want it." He whispered.

"Confession?"

"Yeah."

"I had decided on names and nursery colors."

"Yeah? Tell me..."

"You'll laugh at me." Meredith breathed.

"No I won't." Derek promised.

"Well I like Kaiden or Tolliver for a boy."

"And for a girl?"

"I like Zoe, Savannah or Kendall." Meredith replied, kissed his cheek. "I have a few others too but we're not having a baby for a while now."

"I like Savannah." Derek smiled.

"I just feel like the Zola and Ava are really feminine or girly names so if we had another girl her name would have to fit in and I know that sounds stupid but I was just...I was bored one day before a surgery and I thought of it."

"I like it."

"And if we ever need another baby name...down the road we can consider it."

"Yeah..."

"But right now...our child has cancer."

"Our little girl." He whispered.

"And all three of our kids need us."

"Want to go home?"

"Hmm...maybe we can get some more quiet talk time before Ava and Zola wake up."

"Let's head back."

"Hunter will be home soon."

"I'm sure something exciting happened to him today." Derek chuckled.

"One of us will have to walk over and meet him." Meredith replied. They were in walking distance from the school but they still preferred that he didn't walk alone."

"I can do it."

"Alright." Meredith tucked her hand in Derek's as they began to walk. "Hmm...you know we could shower together tonight...if you want."

"I would love to."

"You know to conserve water...and just maybe get another moment to ourselves while the kids are asleep."

"That's why I married you...I like the way you think."

"Ooh...pinecone." Meredith ran over next to the pine tree that was growing over the sign for his mother's street.

"What?" Derek laughed.

"Just a random pinecone." Meredith bent over, picking it up.

"Okay..."

"You're laughing at me." Meredith frowned as he walked towards her.

"No...I like seeing you excited and happy."

"Can't a girl just pick up a pinecone?" Meredith teased as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Of course." Derek kissed her forehead.

"Okay...home." Meredith tossed the pinecone back before taking his hand.

"I bet they're both still asleep."

"Well then we can put Zola in the big bed and we can cuddle with both of them..."

"It's kind of nice being here...even though it's for..." Derek trailed off as they walked up the front path.

"I know what you mean." Meredith whispered almost as if she didn't want someone to hear.

"We're home..." Derek opened the front door to this mother's house.

"Where's your Mom?" Meredith looked around.

"I don't know." He closed the door, walking to the staircase. "Mom?"

"In your room!" His mother called.

"Our room..." Meredith breathed, knowing that was where Ava had last fallen asleep.

"Coming." Derek called back, heading up the stairs and into the bedroom where Ava was lying curled up in a ball on their bed, not asleep.

"She's been throwing up for the last five minutes." His mother replied, holding a plastic grocery bag in front of her.

"Ava..."

"Oh pumpkin..." Derek whispered, sitting next to her.

"Daddy..." Ava coughed before getting sick again.

"I'm going to get her some clear soda to settle her stomach." His mother stood. "I think it might help."

"Thanks Mom."

"Just stay with her." The older woman suggested before leaving the room.

"It's okay Aves." Derek breathed, rubbing her back.

"Ew." Ava winced.

"Just let it out Ava...it will be better than trying to fight it." Meredith held the bag in front of her little girl.

"I don't like this." Their little girl started to cry.

"I know baby girl." Meredith moved to sit behind Ava and put her in her lap. "But I'm here and I won't...Daddy and I won't leave your side."

"We're right here." Derek whispered.

"Maybe we should try the Zofran now."

"I'll go get it. It's on the table downstairs." Derek sighed, standing up

"Okay...Ava and I will wait here." Meredith kissed her little girl's head.

"We're going to make you feel better." Derek told his daughter, leaving the room to go get her medicine. They knew this would happen. They knew the second the nurse had put the medicine in the IV and it went into her little body that she would be sick. But they kept having to remind themselves that in the end it would be worth it, that the medicine was getting ridding of the cancer and she would feel really bad for a little while and then feel like herself again. But it was hard to believe when their daughter was getting sick and looking at them to help her feel better and there wasn't anything they could do but sit with her and wait it out.