When Ava had been diagnosed with leukemia, Derek had been in complete shock. His daughter had always been a healthy girl, so the news that she had cancer was like being punched in the stomach. It had taken a long time for the facts to sink in and each time that Derek took his daughter to chemotherapy and watched her be pumped full of medicine, the reality of the situation became more and more clear. His child had cancer and it wasn't something he could change. He had complete faith in the doctors who were taking care of her and the fact that she had a great chance of being cured of the cancer and growing up like a normal kid. But for the moment, his daughter was very sick and they had to take things one day at a time.

That morning, as he got Ava ready to go to the hospital for some routine tests to make sure the chemo wasn't having any harmful side effects other than the ones to be expected, he noticed all the hair that fell from her head as he brushed it. It was something he knew was coming but wasn't prepared for, but it was happening and they were going to deal with it in the best way they could. Derek walked back into the small hospital room that the nurses had brought them to so he and Meredith could wait alone while Ava was with the doctors having the tests run. "I brought you a coffee..."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." He sighed, kissing her cheek as he sat down next to her in the hard, uncomfortable chairs that he was starting to get used to. "I can't believe we make people sit in these."

"I was just thinking the same thing." Meredith breathed, looking down at her phone to see if Lexie had texted her about how Zola was doing.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" Derek asked. He knew the answer was no. Meredith hadn't been sleeping well or at all.

"Yeah...slept great."

"Mer..."

"On the way home I need to run into the store and get more wipes for Zola."

"Okay." Derek sighed.

"Oh and poster board."

"For what?"

"A project...kindergarten thing for Ava." Meredith replied. "I read about it in one of the books and it seems like a good idea."

"Oh...okay."

"The homeschooling seems to be good for her."

"Yeah..."

"Distracting."

"Hmm."

"Do you want this?" Meredith asked, handing him her breakfast sandwich.

"You don't want it?" Derek frowned, taking the sandwich.

"No I'm good." Meredith turned the page in her handbook.

"Mer...you need to eat."

"I'm having coffee and I honestly don't want the sandwich."

"Alright." He sighed.

"What time is it?"

"Eleven twenty." Derek answered, looking down at his watch.

"Zola should be taking her nap about now."

"Meredith."

"What?" She asked, marking one of the pages with a post it.

"Just...look at me." He whispered.

"What?" Meredith groaned, looking up at him.

""Talk to me."

"About what?"

"We're sitting here in a hospital room...our daughter has cancer..."

"Yeah...I know."

"And I'm looking at my wife...who isn't eating and isn't sleeping."

"I eat!"

"Barely."

"Now you're just sounding silly."

"Okay..." Derek took a deep breath. "Then I'll talk."

"About?"

"Our five year old daughter has cancer. And this morning...while I was brushing her hair...I ended up with more hair in the brush then left on her head."

"It's been falling out...I know."

"I...my point is we need to start being realistic."

"Okay Derek." Meredith sighed, closing the book and looking up at him. "You think we need to shave her head."

"I think we need to do something. I think you need to start opening up to me and stop trying to carry this all yourself." He breathed.

"Just because I'm not a wallowing mess doesn't mean I am carrying all of this shit by myself."

""That's not what I meant."

"It's not up to me to decide to shave her head...its up to her."

"It's not just about shaving her head..." Derek whispered. "It's about the fact that Ava's hair is falling out and you're worrying about a school project...and you're awake during the night worrying and you don't tell me. We're doing this together, Mer. I can't do it without you...so you have to let me in too."

"I am here for you."

"Then let there for you too."

"I am." Meredith groaned, reaching for the book again.

"Stop."

"What is your deal?"

"I'm scared, Meredith. I'm terrified. And what makes me even more scared is that you are keeping all of this in...I know you. I know you...and I love you...but you keep everything inside and your putting up this wall like everything is okay and eventually it's going to come crashing down.

"Okay..."

"You have to talk to me. When you're scared in the middle of the night, wake me up. I'm scared too. We're in this together."

"Can we at least talk about this...another time?"

"I..." Derek shook his head.

"What?"

"Fine." He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Listen..." Meredith sighed. "You talk to Ava...you take care of the hair stuff...I'll order her hats and headbands...you handle talking to her and shaving her hair. But this isn't the time or the place to argue."

"I'm going to do it with her."

"Okay."

"She shouldn't have to be bald alone."

"Woah..." Meredith looked up quickly. "Your hair?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"I just..." Meredith took a deep breath. "If that is what you want to do...I think its great."

"Okay." Derek shrugged. He was frustrated. He wanted his wife to show emotion, he wanted her to tell her the way that she was feeling and he was getting nothing.

"Look who is back." Arizona wheeled Ava into the room, both wearing big smiles on their faces.

"Hey pumpkin." Derek smiled, standing up quickly.

"Hi Daddy...Hi Mommy." Their little girl smiled tiredly as she ran her fingers over her now very thin hair.

"Hi Ava." Meredith grinned.

"How is she?" Derek asked Arizona.

"She's good...we checked her blood and we're going to schedule her for another chemotherapy treatment this week. Her tonsils are swollen and she's complaining of a sore throat so I started her on antibiotics. The test was negative but I don't want to chance her coming down with it in a few days."

"So we can go home?"

"I'm going to allow her to go home but I'd like to monitor her closely after the next treatment because we're introducing some stronger drugs. So she'll be here for at least the first night." Arizona replied.

"Okay." He nodded.

"Of course then you'll speak with Dr. Hershchel her oncologist again."

"Thanks Arizona."

"I'll let you guys take her home..." Arizona smiled, before leaving the room.

"Time to get you changed." Meredith smiled.

"Can we go get chicken nuggets?" Ava asked.

"If that is what you want to eat...you will get it."

"And french fries!" Ava smiled as Meredith helped her out of the hospital gown and put her regular clothes back on.

"Somebody is hungry." Meredith grinned thankfully as she realized just how big Ava's clothes were on her small body.

"My tummy's grumbling." Ava giggled.

"Wow." Meredith giggled, handing Ava to her father.

"Ready to go?" Derek smiled, kissing her cheek.

"Yeah." Ava smiled, wrapping her arms around her Daddy. "Where is my baby?"

"Oh...right here." Meredith reached in her bag for the baby doll Mark had gotten for Ava. He had given it to her right after her previous chemo treatment and she carried it everywhere.

"Okay Aves...let's go get you some chicken nuggets." He smiled.

"Yummy!" Ava squealed.

"Yummy." Derek laughed, looking back at Meredith before carrying their daughter out of the hospital room and down the hall towards the exit. He knew that he and Meredith needed to talk but right now wasn't the time. Their daughter was feeling like herself, or as close as could be for being in the middle of cancer treatment and they were going to enjoy these few moments before she started to feel bad again spending time with their daughter instead of arguing.