"You're being so brave, pumpkin." Derek smiled, sitting next to Ava as she got her chemotherapy treatment. They had been in the hospital for a few hours now and there was still a long way to go. Arizona had warned them that this round of chemo was going to be harder on her body and they should expect for her to be even sicker than before. "I'm so proud of you."
"No." Ava groaned, stretching in the large rubber chair.
"No what?" Derek asked, fixing the blanket that was covering her.
"I wanna stop."
"We can't stop right now."
"Daddy." Ava murmured, dropping her Barbie's shoe on the floor.
"I know, Ava." Derek sighed, leaning over and kissing her cheek.
"Can we go home when we're done?"
"We have to stay here tonight but then we can go home."
"My head itches." Ava scrunched her nose.
"You look just like your Mommy when you do that." He laughed.
"My mommy's pretty like Barbie."
"She is."
"Yeah." Ava giggled just like her mother.
"Do you want another blanket?" Derek asked her.
"Yeah." Ava sighed, before pointing at the laptop Derek had packed for her to watch movies.
"Cinderella."
'Again?" He laughed, opening it up.
"I like it."
"Hey guys." Meredith walked up. "Sorry I ran into Cristina and we were talking but I am back now."
"Hi Mommy." Ava looked up.
"Are you watching Cinderella again?" Meredith giggled, reaching for the Barbie shoe that had fallen.
"It's my favorite."
"I'm going to get your blanket, okay?" Derek kissed Ava's cheek again.
"I put one in her blue bag." Meredith smiled, before pulling her chair closer to Ava. "Hi Miss. Ava."
"Mommy...shhh..." Ava pointed to the movie.
"Oh sorry." Meredith kissed her cheek before sitting up. When she looked forward there was a little girl standing in front of her and Ava who looked to have cancer as well.
"Hi." The little girl wearing a purple head scarf waved to Ava.
"Hi." Ava waved right back, before looking up at her Daddy.
"My name is Sammy...what is your name?" The little girl asked.
"Ava."
"It's nice to meet you, Sammy." Derek smiled, laying the blue blanket over Ava.
"Do you have a tumor in your brain just like me?" Sammy asked.
"No." Ava shook her head.
"Oh." Sammy scratched at her head. "I've had a tumor three times now! It's no fun but the doctors are nice and they have yummy jello. Do you like the jello?"
"I like the red kind."
"Me too!" Sammy giggled.
"Sammy..." The little girl's mother called from across the room.
"I gotta go." Sammy leaned forward, hugging Ava.
"Okay. Bye Sammy." Ava waved.
"I got lots of movies here if you wanna watch them...just ask my Mommy...oh and tons of Barbies!" Sammy grinned, before running off.
"Can I go play Barbies?" Ava asked, scooting towards the edge of the chair.
"Maybe later Ava." Meredith whispered. "You're hooked up to your medication and look...Sammy is going to get hooked up too."
"Not fair!"
"I bet you can play with her another time." Derek told her.
"Fine." Ava groaned, arching her back in her seat.
"Are you feeling okay?" Derek asked, running his hand over her head.
"My head is tired."
"You can go to sleep Ava." Meredith offered, handing her a stuffed piglet.
"Are you going to stay here Daddy?"
"Of course. I'll be right here when you wake up. I promise."
"We'll even leave Cinderella on for you to watch until you fall asleep." Meredith reached for one of the trays and rolled it over.
"Okay." Ava yawned.
"Get some rest Miss. Ava."
"Mmkay." Ava closed her eyes, wrapping her hands tightly around the stuffed animal.
"She's always been so easy to get to sleep." Meredith breathed.
"Yeah." Derek sighed, leaning back in his chair.
"I love her so much."
"Me too."
"I never thought I would be a pro at playing Barbies."
"Yeah..."
"If you need a break or want to shut your eyes go ahead Derek." Meredith offered. "You woke up with Zola this morning."
"I'm slept last night. I'm okay." He looked up at her.
"Okay." Meredith sighed, reaching for her magazine.
"I brought us some food." He reached into the bag they had packed for the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches he had made before they left for the hospital. "Here."
"Thanks." Meredith smiled. "I'm not hungry right now but I'll eat mine in a little while."
"Right."
"I have to finish my coffee."
"Okay Meredith."
"What is wrong?" She snapped, keeping her voice down.
"You think I haven't noticed that the only thing you've eaten in the last three days is coffee and a muffin?"
"That's not true."
"And you haven't slept through the night since we got here. I'm not oblivious, Meredith."
"I'm a mom Derek."
"Oh okay." He rolled his eyes.
"Why are you acting like this?"
"Because this...what you're doing...it's not good for Ava. It's not good for you...and it's not healthy for us." Derek sighed.
"I'm not..."
"You don't eat, you don't sleep. How do you expect to take care of her when you aren't taking care of yourself?" He gestured to Ava.
"I'm trying Derek."
"Then eat."
"Derek..."
"What?"
"This isn't the time to fight."
"It's never the right time, Meredith."
"Why are you mad at me? I'm busy just like you. This isn't exactly the life we're used to."
"I'm not mad at you."
"You sound like it." She sighed.
"I'm frustrated." Derek groaned. "I can't...you don't tell me how you're feeling. You don't let me help you and meanwhile you're running yourself ragged."
"Derek I'm fine...I'm me and I'm right here." She whispered.
"You're not fine."
"I...what?"
"You're not fine." Derek repeated. "You're losing weight right in front of my eyes...you're keeping everything inside. I just...you won't talk to me.'
"I do talk to you."
"About what time we're leaving for the hospital or what Ava ate for dinner...you don't talk to me about how you're feeling."
"I'm sorry but I'm okay. I am and I love you."
"I love you too." He sighed.
"I'm doing the best I can."
"Yeah."
"Daddy." Ava groaned, her eyes opening quickly.
"Hey Aves." Derek smiled.
"My tummy hurts."
"I'm sorry." He frowned, rubbing her back.
"I wanna sit with you." Ava sighed.
"I can sit next to you."
"No!" Ava groaned.
"Here..." Meredith handed Derek the pink blanket. "She could probably sit with you...I mean the cords will reach far enough."
"Why don't I sit in your chair and you can sit on my lap?" Derek suggested.
"Okay." Ava whimpered.
"Okay." Derek sat down in the rubber chair and pulled Ava onto his lap. "There we go."
"Daddy." Ava whimpered, suddenly crying.
"What, pumpkin?" He kissed her head and rubbed her back.
"Does she have a fever?" Meredith asked as Ava sobbed.
"I don't think so." Derek put his hand on Ava's forehead.
"Well...what's wrong Aves?" Meredith frowned as Ava cried harder.
"I'm Dr. Short...the oncologist on call." An older man rushed right over.
"Ava...tell the doctor what's wrong and he can help you." Derek whispered, rubbing his daughter's back.
"Her blood pressure is up." The nurse replied, holding her chart.
"She's just worked up. Ava sweetheart...I'm Dr. Short I'm just going to take a look at your belly." Dr. Short said as the nurse lifted her pink pajama top over her abdomen. "Has she used the restroom at all?"
"Not since we've been here." Derek answered.
"Her abdomen is descended but she may just be a little constipated from this medication." Dr. Short sighed. "We'll keep an eye on her."
"Thank you." Derek nodded.
"It isn't uncommon for the patient to have a rough reaction. She's little and her body is weaker so she is expected to have some aches and pains." The doctor stood and took the chart from the nurse. "It says she's going to be here overnight so that's good."
"Is there anything we can do to help her feel better for now?" Meredith asked.
"Just keep an eye on her. If necessary we can give her some medicine to relieve the constipation but I'd prefer to wait it out." The doctor answered.
"Sometimes if you rub their back and just soothe them it helps them ride out the pain. I'll go get a blanket from the heater. It will help." The nurse smiled, before walking away.
"I'll be back to check on her in a little while." The doctor told them before leaving.
"It's okay Ava." Derek whispered, rubbing her back.
"Da...Daddy." Ave sobbed.
"Ava Sophia..." Meredith moved her hand over Derek's.
"I'm right here." Derek breathed. "Do you want anything?"
"No." Ava gasped.
"Do you want to go to Mommy?"
"Daddy..." Ava cried.
"Ava do you want to lay back with Daddy?" Meredith whispered. "I can adjust your chair."
"Kay." Ava gasped in between sobs.
"Okay." Meredith's eyes began to water as she reached for the latch on the chair to recline it.
"See...isn't that better?" Derek whispered, laying back with her.
"Yeah..." Ava panted through her sobs.
"I um...I'm going to go check on the blanket."
"We'll be here." Derek sighed, looking up at her.
"Alright." Meredith got up, walking away quickly and leaving the wing of the hospital.
"Mommy went to get you a warm blanket."
"Mommy's sad..."
"Do you think so?"
"Yeah." Ava wiped at her eyes.
"I think she's just worried about you."
"Why?" Ava gasped.
"She doesn't like to see you sick...neither do I." Derek whispered. "That's why we bring you here so you can get better."
"Yeah..." Ava swallowed, resting her head on her father.
"But when you talk to Mommy and make her laugh...it makes her feel better."
"I like when Mommy reads to me and plays princess with me and takes care of me."
"She likes it too."
"Is she coming back?"
"She is. She went to get you another blanket."
"Kay."
"I love you Aves."
"I love you too Daddy."
"Do you want to go back to sleep?"
"Yeah."
"Okay." Derek laughed weakly. "Go to sleep."
"Love you Daddy."
"Love you too pumpkin." Derek whispered as Ava fell asleep on his chest. He looked down at her small body, realizing just how sick she really was. She was supposed to be growing up and playing with her friends, but she was here in the hospital, with cancer instead of being a regular kid. And no matter what Derek did or said, he couldn't get Meredith to open up to him and tell him just exactly how scared she was. Both his daughter and his wife were getting worse in front of his eyes and nothing that he was doing was making it any better.