"Derek don't let me forget to get Ava's stuffed monkey." Meredith breathed from the shower. The doctors had opted to keep Ava for a few extra days in the hospital so his mother had shown up at the hospital to stay with Ava so that they could get home and shower. Maybe even get some rest but Meredith just wanted to get back to her little girl.
"I won't...it's sitting next to the bag of stuff to bring back." Derek replied, standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom.
"Okay." Meredith breathed, washing her hair.
"Was there anything else we need?"
"I don't think so." Meredith replied.
"I hope Ava's getting some rest." Derek sighed, lifting the razor to his face. Between the stress and having been in the hospital for overnight, he looked like he hadn't shaved in a week.
"I hope so."
"She looked exhausted."
"She did."
"At least her stomach is feeling better."
"I just need to get back to her."
"We will."
"Do you think that rash from her IV will go away soon?"
"The doctor said it should be gone in a few days."
"I hope they can send her home with us soon." Meredith reached for her razor.
"Yeah." Derek sighed, washing off his face.
"I just need to get dressed after my shower and we can head back." Meredith replied, shaving her last leg.
"My mom left some food in the fridge."
"If you want to eat you can." Meredith pushed the shower curtain open and stepped out, bracing her hand on the wall.
"I..." Derek started to say as he turned around but before he could finish, Meredith collapsed right in front of him. "Meredith!"
"Oh..." She groaned, falling into his arms.
"Mer..."
Meredith relaxed into his arms, feeling her eyes open. It was blurry at first but then she saw her husband's worried face. "Hi."
"Hi."
"What just..." Meredith looked around, trying to sit up but her head felt light.
"You passed out." Derek whispered, running his hand over her wet hair.
"That's embarassing." She winced.
"I don't think you hit your head."
"I was hot and then I felt dizzy from the water and...I'm alright."
"Are you still dizzy...or nauseas?" He asked.
"Nauseas."
"Okay...do you think you can stand up?"
"Yeah..."
"Okay." Derek held her on her as she slowly tried to stand up.
"I just...oh..." Her legs gave out, and she fell into him. "Sorry."
"Its okay." He whispered, kissing her head, before grabbing the towel and wrapping around her body and then lifting her into his arms. "Here we go."
"I just need a minute and then we can go."
"We're not going anywhere." Derek put her down on their bed.
"We have to get to Ava."
"You just fainted, Meredith."
"Derek I just got hot in the shower." Meredith replied, pushing the towel off her body.
"No...you're not going anywhere." He laughed.
"If you want sex we can bang real quick."
"Meredith."
"What?"
Beth S says (8:28 PM)
"Not funny."
"I just...I need to be with her."
"She's in good hands."
"I know but I told her we would be back as soon as we showered."
"You just fainted."
"I just didn't eat breakfast this morning and had three cups of coffee...the shower was hot and..."
"And that was body's way of telling you that you need to slow down...and rest."
"I will rest with Ava." Meredith breathed, moving her hand to his chest. Her face was pale and she had dark bags under her eyes. "I'll curl up with her and watch cartoon movies about princess' and be Mommy."
"I'm not going to let you leave."
"Derek." Meredith groaned.
"I'm serious."
"So am I." Meredith moved to try and stand up.
"Meredith...doctor's orders."
"You're not my doctor." Meredith grabbed his shoulder.
"No...but I love you. And if you don't get some rest, fainting is going to be the least of your problems." Derek took her hands.
"Oh..."
"I'm going to get you a glass of water."
"Fine." Meredith sighed, knowing she needed to figure out a way to get to Ava. She loved her little girl and knew that she needed her. Meredith was dizzy and tired but she needed to get there because Ava was sick. Her little girl was sick and it was the worst thing they had ever been through.
"Drink this." Derek came back into the room with a glass of water and some food in the other hand.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome." He got back on the bed with her.
"Here." Meredith swallowed.
"Not just a sip, Mer."
"Ava is waiting."
"You're not going."
"Yes I am." She argued.
"No."
"Derek..." Meredith groaned, pushing his shoulder.
"You fainted...and it wasn't from the heat of the shower." Derek got up and pulled a pair of her sweatpants from a drawer.
"Stop it." Meredith groaned, pulling the sweats from his hand.
"When was the last time you sat down and ate?"
"Derek...take me to see my daughter!"
"No." Derek breathed.
"Derek!"
"You need to lie down and get some rest."
"I'm going to the hospital." Meredith's eyes welled up with tears as she pulled the sweats on.
"No you're not." Derek sat on the edge of the bed.
"Yes." Meredith slapped his arm.
"If you go Meredith...you're going to end up in your own hospital room hooked up to an IV."
"Derek I'm going." Meredith hit him again, sobs escaping from her body.
"No." He wrapped his arms around her, holding her as she cried.
"Yes." She sobbed, leaning into him. "I have to."
"It's okay."
"Derek..."
"Hmm?"
"I can't do this."
"What?"
"I have to go." She sobbed, as he helped her lay back in the bed.
"It's okay, Mer." He whispered, holding her in his arms.
"She's so sick Derek."
"I know."
"And I can't...I can't look at her that sick without keeping busy."
"But you have to take care of yourself too." Derek breathed, rubbing her back. "She needs you. And you can't be there for her if you're fainting in the shower."
"I would do anything...to take her place."
"I know. Me too."
"And I watch as she loses her hair and she gets cut into and they pump the strongest of drugs into her and I can't do anything but sit there and watch. I know that she could die but I can't just sit there."
"She's going to be fine." He whispered.
"I just...I have to help her."
"We can't do anything for her right now."
"You see that's not fair...we're her parents and we just sit there and let her have cancer. I don't know how to just sit there Derek!" Meredith shouted.
"It's the only thing we can for her right now...everything else is up to her doctors." He breathed, rubbing her back gently.
"I feel like some annoying helicopter mother who can't even look away for a minute." Meredith wiped at her eyes.
"You're doing the best you can, Mer." Derek assured her. "There isn't a right way to do this."
"Derek if anything happens to her..."
"It won't."
"I'm so tired." Meredith laughed through her tears. She wasn't even sure why she was laughing. It was like being out of control. "I just...she's sick and I watch her every moment that I can."
"You need to get some sleep." Derek kissed her head.
"I could sleep in bed with Ava."
"You wouldn't sleep."
"I would." Meredith pulled her knees to her chest.
"Stay here...eat and get some sleep and you can go back to the hospital first thing in the morning."
"You want me to be away from her?" Meredith frowned.
"Just for tonight."
"And you'll stay with her tonight?" Meredith frowned, wiping at the corners of her eyes.
"If you promise me that if I leave you, you'll get some rest." Derek nodded.
"Until Zo and Hunter get home tonight with Lexie and Mark."
"They can take care of them. You need to sleep."
"Can I at least have some time with my two other children tonight?"
"You are permitted." He chuckled.
"And you will make sure I talk to Ava tonight...you will have her call me."
"I promise."
"One minute we were sending her off to school and trying to have another baby and then there was this." Meredith breathed.
"Just a bump in the road." Derek whispered, kissing her softly.
"Damn."
"We'll get through it."
"I just...I don't even recognize our family anymore."
"We're still the same family, Mer...just with some new things to deal with."
"Are we? Because your Mom said Zola says dog and I haven't heard her say it."
"We are."
"Hmm..." Meredith looked away, her eyes watering again.
"Hey..." Derek breathed. "You are...an amazing mother. And you're doing the best you can right now. You can't make yourself feel like this."
"I should have known she was sick."
"There's no way you could have known."
"She was feeling sick and I didn't think it was anything out of the ordinary."
"Neither did I. Nobody did." Derek rubbed her back.
"I really miss her."
"You'll see her first thing in the morning." He kissed her cheek. "I'm going to get you some food before I go."
"Read to her when you're trying to get her to go to bed..." Meredith sighed.
"I will."
"She likes to read Eloise..."
"I know."
"Are you sure you can spend the night with her without me? I promise I'll rest."
"I'm sure."
"You're being bossy."
"Hmm...only trying to take care of you."
"How are you going to sleep without me?" She asked, lacing her fingers with his.
"I probably won't." He whispered, kissing her forehead.
"Oh."
"But I've slept the past couple of nights...and you haven't."
"You've been paying attention for someone who was sleeping."
"Go to sleep." Derek laughed, leaning over and kissing her again. "I'll have Ava call you later."
"Fine."
"Thank you."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"Take care of her." Meredith sighed.
"You know I will."
"I guess I'll just stay here..." Meredith looked around the bed.
"Good idea."
"Oh and don't forget her..."
"Stuffed monkey. I got it."
"Right." Meredith sighed, reaching for her phone.
"I'll see you in the morning." Derek whispered, kissing her softly.
"See you first thing in the morning."
"Get some rest."
"I will." She smiled weakly, knowing there was no way he would take her with him,.
"Okay."
"Bye..."
"Bye." Derek kissed her again, leaving the bedroom. He knew how hard it was going to be for Meredith to stay home instead of going back to the hospital to be with Ava but she had to do it. If she was going to be able to take care of Ava, and Hunter and Zola she had to take care of herself and that meant staying home, eating and getting some rest.