Meredith sat up in the bed, looking around the dark room as street lights shined through the blue curtains. When she looked around the room, she remembered that Derek had made her stay home and catch up on her rest instead of being with Ava. She looked at her phone, realizing that she had slept for six hours straight which felt all kinds of amazing but she still missed her Ava. Derek had texted a picture of Ava eating some jello with the little girl that Ava had met at chemo. Sammy apparently had been very kind to Ava and Derek said that after talking to her parents, this was Sammy's second relapse of brain cancer. Relapsing was an idea that stayed in Meredith's mind, haunting her. She needed Ava to get better though, before they could even worry about it coming back.

She heard the sounds of Zola babbling downstairs and smiled when she heard little feet walking the halls. Zola and Hunter were downstairs with his mother and if she was home, she could at least sit with them. They needed her too and she hadn't forgotten that. Meredith tossed on a Dartmouth sweatshirt, adjusted the pants that were too big for her and then walked down the hallway and down the steps.

"Hey." Meredith breathed, looking around the kitchen. Hunter was drawing at the table and Zola was playing in the pantry, taking some boxes of food out.

"Hi Mommy!" Hunter jumped up, running over to her.

"How did you sleep, dear?" Mrs. Shepherd asked, lifting Zola from the pantry.

"I slept well." Meredith leaned over, hugging her son tightly.

"I'm glad." She smiled. "Would you like something to eat?"

"Um..." Meredith looked around. "Well I'm not really all that hungry but..."

"Mommy...eat with me." Hunter had his arms wrapped around her

"I can do that." Meredith whispered.

"What would you like dear?" Mrs. Shepherd asked. "I can make you anything you want."

"Oh you don't need to make me anything. I can eat an apple or some popcorn."

"Are you sure? I'll heat up some soup for you."

"Oh soup sounds nice." Meredith smiled, sitting at the table next to Hunter.

"Chicken soup or tomato?" Mrs. Shepherd asked.

"Tomato." Meredith watched as Hunter drew a picture of a soccer ball.

"Mommy...when's Ava coming home?" Hunter asked, looking up from his drawing.

"Hopefully soon." Meredith rubbed his hair.

"Tomorrow?"

"I don't know Hunter." Meredith sighed.

"I hope so."

"Me too." Meredith lifted Zola into her lap.

"Hi Zo." Hunter waved at his baby sister.

"Here Hunter." Mrs. Shepherd sat a plate of chicken strips and salad in front of Hunter. "Dinner time."

"Thanks Grandma."

"Thank you for making him Dinner...I can feed Zola." Meredith breathed, smelling Zola's hair.

"Don't worry about that. You just eat." She put a bowl of soup in front of Meredith.

"Thanks." Meredith smiled weakly as Hunter began to eat his salad.

"When's Dad coming home?" Hunter asked Meredith.

"He said he would come home tomorrow...to shower again and then he and I are going to go back to the hospital and hopefully we'll all be home by the end of the week."

"Oh. Okay."

"Once she is able to eat a good amount they will let her come home and she was eating some jello today so hopefully she will keep eating." Meredith tried to sound enthusiastic to her son so he wouldn't be scared. "She'll be home with us soon."

"A kid at school said people with cancer die." Hunter whispered.

"Oh." Meredith swallowed.

"But I told him Ava won't."

"That's right Hunter." Meredith whispered, her voice shaking.

"I think she's getting better." He took a bite of his chicken.

"You do?" Meredith asked as Carolyn watched intently.

"Yup."

"I'm glad you know that Hunter."

"Hunter...I bought you some new stuff to pack for your school lunches." Mrs. Shepherd said.

"Yeah?" Hunter looked up, eating his last bite.

"Goldfish were on sale so I bought you those...and some new cookies."

"When Ava comes home will you make her favorite cookies?" Hunter asked.

"Of course."

"Thanks Grandma." Hunter smiled, carrying his plate over to the sink.

"You're welcome." Mrs. Shepherd smiled.

"Mom..." Hunter sat back down next to Meredith. "You haven't finished your soup."

"Oh um...but you're all done and you don't have to wait for me bud. I'm not too hungry." Meredith smiled, kissing his cheek. "Is your homework done?"

"You have to eat, Mommy."

"I am...see." Meredith leaned over her bowl, taking a bite from her spoon. "Yumm..."

"Okay." Hunter laughed.

"Ba!" Zola shouted, reaching out from Mrs. Shepherd to Meredith.

"Hi Zo." Meredith giggled.

"You're getting so big, aren't you?" Mrs. Shepherd laughed, bouncing Zola in her arms.

"Grandma can I go finish my science homework and then play a Wii game?" Hunter asked.

"That's up to your Mom."

"Yeah Hunter...just wash your hands and face first from Dinner." Meredith breathed. "And tonight if you want...and if Grandma wants we can watch a movie and all sit down and enjoy it."

"Cool!"

"Now go finish your homework...so we can have a good night." Meredith tried to be energetic. If she was going to be home, she needed to spend the time with her two other children whom she missed terribly.

"It won't take long! It's easy." Hunter hurried out of the kitchen.

"He's such a bright boy." Mrs. Shepherd chuckled.

"We're really lucky."

"Yes you are."

"I can't even...just thank you so much. For all of the help."

"Oh I love spending time with my grandchildren."

"I'm sure this is far more than you bargained for."

"It's not a problem at all, dear. I wish I could do more." Mrs. Shepherd replied.

"You've just done so much and it's making me feel like a horrible mother because I can't take care of all three at once right now and it sucks because they're my kids and I'm just glad that they have you."

"You are far from a horrible mother, Meredith. This isn't a process that comes with a handbook or guidelines."

"It'd be easier."

"Of course it would." Mrs. Shepherd chuckled. "I understand why you're feeling this way. Any mother would."

"Would you?" Meredith wanted to know.

"Of course."

"Derek thinks I'm having a meltdown or whatever it is and I just...there are so many things going through my head that focusing on them is better then sitting there and worrying about Ava's cancer." Meredith explained.

"I understand that, dear. I do. But Derek is right. You can't do this all on your own. You have to let people help...whether it's me, or Derek or Mark or your sister...we're all here for you for whatever you need so the only thing you have to do is take care of Ava."

"I'm not taking everything on myself...Derek is there...you're helping and so is everyone else."

"Not just physically, but emotionally as well. I know it's hard. It's the burden of being a mother."

"It all seems too big."

"I know." Mrs. Shepherd put her arms around Meredith. "But we're all here for you."

"Thanks."

"Mom! I'm done with my homework." Hunter came back into the kitchen. "I told you it would be easy."

"Perfect." Meredith looked up at his mother, her eyes were watering again and the last thing she wanted to do was cry.

"Mommy." Hunter frowned.

"Yes?" Meredith looked at the wall, away from her son.

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm not sweetie...my eyes are just watering." Meredith lied.

"I'm eight, Mom. I know when you're crying." Hunter hugged Meredith. "Don't cry."

"I'm okay Hunter." Meredith hugged her son back. "Why don't you go pick out a movie Bud."

"Can we watch Star Wars?"

"If Grandma wants to." Meredith laughed weakly. She didn't really enjoy those movies that much but her son loved them and something about that was enough for her to want to watch it.

"It's fine with me." Mrs. Shepherd laughed.

"Yay!" Hunter jumped up and down. "I'll go put it in. Can we make popcorn?"

"Sure." Meredith giggled.

"You guys go get comfortable and I'll get the popcorn and bring Zola in." Mrs. Shepherd told them.

"Okay..." Meredith stood, knowing that she needed to talk to her son.

"Come on Mom."

"I'm coming," Meredith followed her son into the family room. She sat down, pulling a pillow over her lap and looked up. "Are you doing alright Hunter?"

"Yeah." He nodded.

"I'm sorry we've been so busy."

"It's okay. Ava's sick."

"Yeah but I want to make sure you and Zola are okay too." Meredith pulled on his hand so he would come sit with her.

"I'm okay." Hunter shrugged his soldiers. "I miss you..."

"I know and I've missed you so much too Bud." Meredith smiled weakly.

"I don't like it when you're sad."

"I'm not sad..."

"You're sad cause Ava is sick."

"I'm not sad Hunter...I'm a little scared but I'm not sad. And its okay to be scared." Meredith tried to explain.

"I know."

"We just want Ava to get better."

"I do too."

"And sometimes she'll be in the hospital but other times she'll be here with us."

"Is Daddy going to be gone too?"

"I don't know. I think we're going to try and split some stuff up better."

"Okay."

"And since we're getting used to everything I think it will be easier. And I think we can do something special for when Ava comes back. What do you think about that?"

"That'd be fun."

"That'd be fun."

"She misses you and Zola a lot."

"I miss her too." Hunter sat on the couch, resting his head on Meredith's shoulder.

"She hates the hospital."

"I like it. I want to be a doctor like you and Dad."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Dad said I had to good in science to be a doctor and I got an A on my science test yesterday."

"Hey...way to go." Meredith put her hand up.

"Thanks." Hunter grinned, high fiving his mom.

"I'm proud of you Hunter and when I was little I had never really heard it so I want you to know when you're making us proud and you are..." Meredith breathed.

"I know."

"I just...you're a really good boy and you're only eight so you shouldn't be worried and Daddy and I...we need to do a better job of treating you like you're eight."

"I'm okay Mom."

"I know Hunter but we're here for you." Meredith bit her lip.

"I know that."

"And if you have any questions or..."

"I love you Mom." Hunter smiled, hugging Meredith.

"I love you too Hunter." Meredith hugged him tight, holding him against her. "I love you so much."

"Can we watch the movie now?"

"Go get Grandma and then we can." Meredith giggled, pulling away. She loved her son and right now she wasn't sure she could love her little man more.

"Okay." Hunter smiled. "I'll get you extra butter for the popcorn."

"Good boy." Meredith laughed as her son ran off to the kitchen. They were going to watch a movie and she would hopefully rock her baby girl to sleep. It was hard being away from Ava but being with Hunter and Zo made her heart feel good. She was scared, but she wanted to show her children that they all mattered and that she was here if they needed her.