Meredith knew one thing was for sure. She was in over her head. Ava seemed to love being homeschooled but in order to maintain Ava's interest, there had to be artsy activities and Meredith wasn't so good at those. The current lesson in the books was Thanksgiving since it was just around the corner. Every store, worksheet and project had something to do with Thanksgiving and giving thanks to the people around you. So Meredith had found a project where they would outline their hands then pain and decorate the picture to look like a turkey. Ava loved it and since it was a Saturday morning Hunter was doing it too. Zola was into everything as Derek's mother cooked and for some strange reason her husband, the brain surgeon, seemed to enjoy tracing his hand. Ava of course didn't feel her best, but the five year old was doing her best to have fun. "Okay Ava...hold your hand still."
"I'm trying..." Ava held her hand against the white piece of paper as they sat at the dining room table.
"Okay...I'm going to trace your hand."
"In pink please."
"Well I'm going to trace it in brown so it looks like a turkey." Meredith reached for the skinny brown marker. "Just like I did for Hunter."
"No...I want pink!"
"You can't do pink for Thanksgiving, Ava." Hunter laughed, reaching for some markers.
"Yeah Aves." Meredith reached to press Ava's hand to the paper.
"Can I use pink glitter?"
"That's not a thanksgiving color."
"I don't care." Ava sighed.
"You don't?" Meredith breathed as she finished tracing the little girl's hand.
"I like pink."
"Ava...what do you think of Daddy's hand?" Derek asked, holding up the outline of his hand.
"It's nice." Ava shrugged, before throwing the markers on the floor.
"Ava." He frowned.
"I want a pink turkey." Ava whimpered.
"You can have a pink turkey but you can't throw markers." Meredith frowned, lifting Ava into her lap.
"Look at mine." Hunter held his up.
"That's very nice Hunter." Meredith smiled.
"Thanks Mom." He smiled, putting his paper down and picking the markers up off the floor.
"Thank you Hunter." Derek put his pen down.
"Hey..." Meredith whispered in her little girl's ear. "What's wrong Miss. Ava? "
"My tummy hurts." Ava whispered.
"Do you want some medicine?"
"No."
"Well we can't throw things Ava...remember?"
"Fine."
"Do you know why we can't?" Meredith asked, reaching for a paint brush.
"Yeah..." Ava whispered.
""Why?" Meredith kissed her cheek.
"Cause it's not nice."
"That's right." Meredith breathed, handing Ava a paintbrush.
"I'm tired Mommy." Ava whispered.
"I can help you paint Ava." Hunter walked over to the side, taking Ava's paper and putting it in front of him.
"Thank you Hunter." Meredith smiled.
"Can you do pink?" Ava asked her brother.
"Yeah but don't tell other people I used pink." Hunter nodded.
"Okay." Ava giggled weakly.
"Derek...where is Zola?" Meredith looked around suddenly, their baby not crawling around the table.
"I've got here." Mrs. Shepherd laughed, coming out of the kitchen. "She crawled in here."
"Oh...you're sneaky." Derek laughed, standing up and taking Zola.
"Ava Dear...would you like something to eat?" His mother asked.
"No." Ava shook her head.
"Ava..." Meredith pleaded.
"No!"
"Ava." Meredith sighed.
"Do you want to sit with Daddy?" Derek asked, putting Zola into her high chair.
"Yeah." Ava yawned.
"Okay." He lifted her up into his arms.
"Someone is cranky." Meredith smirked.
"No I'm not." Ava pouted.
"Look at Daddy's turkey, Ava." Derek held up the outline of his hand that he had tried to draw feathers on.
"It's pretty." Ava looked up.
"I think it's kind of silly."
"It's got a funny face."
"I didn't draw a face." Derek laughed.
"Oh." Ava giggled, moving her small hands over the picture.
"Ava what if I make you some homemade applesauce?" His mother suggested.
"But I'm not hungry."
"Ava you gotta eat so you can get strong." Hunter explained.
"It makes my tummy hurt more." Ava said.
"Applesauce will make it feel better." Derek told her.
"No." Ava whined.
"Please...for Daddy."
"No." Ava groaned.
"Maybe later." Derek sighed, looking at Meredith.
"I'll put a batch of chocolate chip and carrot cake muffins in the oven...they're her favorite." Mrs. Shepherd suggested.
"Thanks Mom."
"No problem." She smiled, walking towards the kitchen. "I will get them started."
"Daddy." Ava whined.
"What pumpkin?"
"My tummy hurts."
"Do you want to lie down?"
"No." Ava whined.
"What do you want to do?" Derek asked.
"I don't know." Ava scratched under the hot pink cap she was wearing.
"Do you want to go for a walk?"
"No." Ava shook her head.
"Ava why don't you tell Daddy what you learned about Thanksgiving today." Meredith said quickly, as she handed Hunter a paper towel to wipe his hands with.
"What did you learn?" Derek asked.
"I learned that the pilgrims went to this place...and they had Thanksgiving with the Native American's and it was called um...it was a rock." Ava explained.
"Plymouth Rock." Hunter added.
"Did Mommy teach you all of that?"
"Yeah and she's so smart." Ava replied.
"I know." Derek laughed.
"Thanks Aves." Meredith laughed.
"Did you learn anything else?" Derek asked Ava, fixing her hat.
"I learn a lot." Ava smiled at her mother.
"Your mom is a good teacher."
"Yeah." Ava agreed.
"I think so too." He smiled.
"Hunter you are making a very nice...pretty turkey for Ava." Meredith smiled, leaning over and kissing his cheek. "Ava do you want to come help add glitter?"
"Yeah." Ava got off of Derek's lap.
"Do you like it Ava?" Hunter asked as Meredith opened the tube of glue.
"Yeah...do more pink though." Ava watched, putting her hand over her stomach.
"Here." Hunter handed Ava the paintbrush.
"No. My tummy hurts." She put both of her hands over her stomach. "Mommy..."
"I've got you." Meredith lifted her into her lap.
"It hurts." Ava started to cry.
"I know." Meredith rubbed her back, lifting her and carrying her into the other room so that she could have some quiet for a moment as Zola babbled. She hated knowing that Ava was in pain and there wasn't much she could do. But she could try and distract her. "Where does it hurt."
"In my belly." Ava pointed.
"I'm sorry Ava..." Meredith took a deep breath, fighting the urge to freak out and call Arizona over every little pain. "What can I do to make it better?"
"I don't know." She said in between cries.
"Cancer isn't very friendly is it?"
"No."
"It wasn't paying attention when we learned about manners." Meredith breathed, holding Ava close as Derek walked in quietly. "I love you Ava."
"Is everything okay?" Derek asked.
"She's having some stomach pain." Meredith looked up at him.
"Oh." Derek frowned, sitting down next to them. "Ava, do you feel like you're going to throw up or does your tummy just hurt?
"Just hurts." She cried.
"Okay." He sighed, kissing her head. "Can you lie here for a second while I talk to Mommy?"
"Yeah." Ava whimpered.
"Okay." Derek kissed her head again. "We'll be right back, pumpkin."
"We'll be back." Meredith assured her, looking away as Derek took her hand and led her into the hall.
"I think we should call Alex or Arizona."
"I was worried that we call too much...I mean I called yesterday when she was screaming because her head hurt."
"But this is...where the mass was." He breathed.
"The mass wasn't even caused by the Leukemia and if she has...Derek what if she has more cancer...what if it isn't just Leukemia. We're doctors and..."
"One step at a time." Derek whispered.
"But you think we should call?"
"Either that or take her to the hospital."
"Why don't you call Alex...he said he was on call today." Meredith replied.
"Okay."
"I'll sit with her." Meredith breathed.
"I'm sure it's fine." He tried to assure himself and Meredith at the same time.
"Just call." She kissed him quickly.
"I will. I'll be right back." Derek sighed, as Meredith disappeared back into the living room and he reached into his pocket for his cell phone, scrolling to find Alex's pager number. What was supposed to have been a day relaxing with their family and getting ready for Thanksgiving had turned into a scare but Derek knew now that was what happened when you had a child with a cancer. There was no normal and things were never certain and all he could do was try to convince himself that everything was okay.