Logan was curled up in his bed reading The Scarlet Letter, a Palmwoods School assignment that none of the other guys would follow through on. He had his little book light clipped to the top of the book so he wouldn't disturb Carlos, who was sprawled out on his bed half-asleep.

There was a sharp knock on the door and Logan glanced at his sleeping friend before hissing, "What?"

"I need to sleep here," he heard Kendall say from outside of the room. Logan groaned.

"Kendall, Carlos is asleep. Why can't you just sleep in your room? Or the pull-out couch, for that matter?"

"I need to sleep here."

"What's going on?" Carlos slurred.

"Carlos, get up. Kendall needs your bed. You're sleeping with James tonight- er, in James' room." Logan blushed. Carlos rolled out of bed without protest, dragging the bedding with him and stumbling over to the door. When he pushed it open Kendall came right in and tossed his pillow and blanket onto Carlos' bed. Kendall flopped onto the bed and buried his face in his pillow.

"Kendall, what's wrong?" Logan asked as soon as Carlos had gone, shutting off his book light and moving to sit beside Kendall.

"James," he said. He wasn't going to beat around the bush anymore or try to be discreet. "He let me fool around with him, which apparently meant a lot more to me than to him, because he's been lying to me all week and probably didn't think I'd find out."

"What did he lie about?" Logan asked gently.

"Okay, there's something you've gotta know about him." Kendall stared up at Logan. "I've been keeping this a secret for way too long because I'm a fucking dumbass. But there's no way I'm keeping it to myself any longer. Logan, James is bulimic. And he throws up and starves himself."

"Oh God," Logan drew in a sharp breath.

"Last weekend he threw up blood and it was really fucking scary. I called a doctor and everything, and I guess it wasn't too serious. He just needed to stop throwing up. Immediately."

"And he didn't," Logan concluded, staring fixedly at Kendall.

"Right." Kendall let out a deep breath. "And I made him promise me that if he felt like he had to make himself throw up, he'd come to me. We'd get through it together, you know? I want to help him. And then we fooled around tonight, and- and I felt so close to him. And then I find out that he's been throwing up all week and right before we had that moment." Kendall's chin quivered and Logan put a hand on his shoulder.

"Kendall, I'm no doctor, but..." Kendall scoffed and Logan continued. "You know that purging is an addiction, right? It's like anything else, self-mutilation, cutting, excessive exercising... you can't just stop doing it. It's a way to relieve yourself of tension and depressive feelings. It's not like asking your boyfriend to stop flirting with other people. It's bigger than that."

Kendall stared at Logan. "But he lied to me, he.. I want to help him. That's all I want."

"To be able to help James you have to really understand what he's going through," Logan said gently. Kendall sighed.

"How do I do that? He's so secretive. He won't talk to me about his purging so how am I supposed to help?"

"You watch him. Carefully. Get Buddha Bob to come take the lock off the bathroom door. If you see him binge, don't let him leave your sight," Logan said.

"Will you help me?" Kendall asked abruptly. "I know James can't do this alone, but... neither can I."

"Of course." Logan smiled. "We all care about James and I know Carlos is a little, well, juvenile, but I'm sure he'll want to help too."

"Thanks, man. I feel awful about spilling James' secret. But I guess I had to."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Logan said. "And can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Kendall shrugged.

"When did you know?"

"When did I know what?" Kendall stared at Logan, trying to read his expression.

"That you're..." Logan shifted awkwardly.

"That I'm gay?" Kendall asked, and his friend nodded. "The thing is... I've never really thought that I'm straight. I've just never been interested in girls. So I guess I've always known." Logan nodded and didn't look phased, and Kendall loved Logan for being so nonjudgmental. Feeling that an explanation was due, he continued, "I dated Jo because she's a nice girl and I liked being around her. Plus, I knew she wouldn't want to fool around or anything." Kendall shrugged. "I feel like that part should have been a dead giveaway..." Both boys laughed.

"Thanks for telling me, man," Logan smiled. "You wanna get some sleep now?" Kendall nodded and slowly crawled under the covers as Logan went back to his bed.

Carlos dragged himself, along with his pillow and comforter, into James' and Kendall's room. He would have gone right to sleep in Kendall's bed if he hadn't seen James.

The room was dim and not much could be seen, but the slumped over figure with glassy eyes shocked Carlos awake.

"James!" He cried, rushing over to his friend and sitting Indian-style next to him on the bed. "What's wrong? Are you okay? Please don't be sad, I want to listen to you."

Carlos' loving babbling made James feel a little bit better, knowing that he had somebody who would always be there, in his face, full of love. Like a golden retriever. Carlos took James' hands in his, thinking nothing of it.

"Um." James started. "I have a problem. Only Kendall knows about it. It's like... really bad for me."

"Does it have to do with your stomach flu?" Carlos asked, his face more serious than James had ever seen it. The brunette was shocked; not because the truth was coming out, but by the fact that Carlos had been able to so clearly put the pieces together. James had drastically underestimated his friend's maturity, apparently.

"Yes," James said finally. "And he wanted me to tell him when I got the urge to... well, you know." Carlos nodded, listening intently with a soft and comforting look in his widened chocolate brown eyes.

"And I, um, didn't. Every day this week I gave in. And tonight. And I sort of did stuff with him. AndIkindoflovehimandIdon'tknowhattodo." James finished, talking so fast that he could hardly even understand himself. Carlos nodded sympathetically again and squeezed James' hands.

"I'm so sorry I did that earlier. I-I had no idea, I swear. Cross my heart," Carlos said. James dismissed it.

"It's really not your fault. I was the one lying to him and not even trying to get better."

"I want to help you," Carlos said, somber and eager at the same time. "You want me to talk to Kendall? I can totally do that."

"No, it's okay." James laughed a little. "You're a great friend, Carlos." Carlos grinned widely and started getting up, pulling James with him.

"What are you-"

"We're going to talk to Kendall," Carlos said this like it was the easiest thing in the world.

"I can't." James yanked his hands away.

"You can," Carlos stared into James' eyes. "You can do anything. You're freaking James Diamond." James felt the corners of his mouth curve up into a grin.

"Just not now, okay?" he pleaded. "We can tomorrow." Carlos' face contorted in defeat.

"Fine," he sighed. "But definitely tomorrow!" James nodded.

"I wanna go to sleep," the brunette mumbled. Carlos went back over to his bed and crawled in, turning off the light on his nightstand.

"Goodnight, buddy," Carlos whispered.

Kendall got up the next morning at 7 and headed straight to the kitchen cupboards. When Logan walked into the kitchen and saw Kendall stuffing junk food into a garbage bag, he was confused, to say the least.

"Uh, Kendall? What are you...?" Logan started. Kendall glanced at him.

"Oh hey, Logan!" he smiled. "I'm getting rid of potential binge food." Logan's face lit up.

"Dude, that's actually a really good idea."

"What's a good idea?" came a voice from behind them, and both boys froze.

"Hi, mom!" Kendall flashed a toothy grin. "Just getting rid of the junk food."

"Sweetie, that's great!" Mrs. Knight said, walking over to her son. "That's going to be so good for you! You were starting to get a little belly pudge!" She pinched his stomach.

"Excuse me?" Kendall gaped at her, horrified. His mother laughed and patted him on the back, telling the two boys that she was headed for the gym and that she would be back soon.

"Oh, and maybe you should start coming to work out with me!" she called as she walked out the door, giving them one final wave. Logan looked at Kendall, the blond's jaw still dropped and brows turned up in worry, and he had to laugh.

"It's not funny!" Kendall yelled, which just made Logan laugh harder. "Stop!" Logan felt tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. But when he saw that Kendall was genuinely distressed, he paused.

"Kendall, you're fine! Don't worry!" he said, which obviously did nothing to comfort Kendall because he started prodding at his stomach and let out an angry growl.

"Well I guess this isn't about me. It's about James," Kendall said finally. "Even if I have gotten chubby..."

"You're fine," Logan insisted. "Really."

"Guys, I have to talk to you," Carlos said, hurrying into the kitchen. "We have to talk to you too," Logan replied.

"James is kind of-" "Kendall and James-" Both boys started at the same time. Logan face-palmed.

"You first," he said after a pause.

"James talked to me about something last night. First of all, congratulations," Carlos smiled at Kendall. "You know, about... the two of you. And well, James told me that he makes himself throw up and, Kendall, you know about that, but I thought that Logan might be able to help and I just... don't know what to do."

"I know," Logan said. "I want to help."

"Wait, James talked to you about it?" Kendall asked, his tone and expression undefinable.

"Yeah," Carlos said cautiously. "He was really upset when I went in there and I asked him what was wrong. He basically told me everything." Kendall nodded. "A-And please don't stay mad at him for throwing up. I know he lied but he's just under a lot of stress right now."

"I'm not," Kendall said. "Logan told me how it's an addiction and now I kind of feel like an ass for getting so mad at him."

"It's understandable, Kendall," Logan told him.

"Look, we need a game plan." Carlos had a determined set to his face that caught Kendall and Logan's attention and made them really listen up. "We each need to have a role in this."

"Yes. Especially because just forcing him to eat won't fix it. In order to recover, he has to actually want to," Logan explained.

"Well how do we make him want it?" Kendall asked.

"We'll worry about that later," Carlos took charge again. "Right now we just need to focus on preventing him from throwing up. In every way we can."

"Okay, so... get rid of binge food."

Logan pointed at Kendall and nodded. "And take the lock off the bathroom door. Don't give James too much privacy. And become light sleepers, because if we don't give him the time or privacy during the day, he'll definitely try at night."

"I'm gonna go talk to him." Kendall turned on his heel and started for their bedroom.

"Kendall," Carlos called. "Please don't be mean to him. Oh! And tell him to come out here. Like, so we can all talk." Kendall nodded and kept walking.

He sneaked into their room and quietly shut the door behind him. Moving to sit on the side of James' bed, Kendall gently shook him awake.

"Hmm," James moaned, his eyes still shut.

"Jamie," Kendall said softly. "I have to talk to you." James' eyes shot open and he immediately took on a worried expression. He pulled the blankets up to his chest and timidly made eye contact, possibly looking more vulnerable than Kendall had ever seen him.

"I'm sorry," James whispered. "I promise, I'm not hurting you on purpose."

"It's okay," Kendall said. "I know. And now I know that b-bulimia," Kendall still struggled to say the word, "is an addiction. You can't just stop. And it was really dumb of me to demand that of you."

"But you just asked me to come to you with it. You just wanted to help me."

"I know. And the guys and I are going to help. We understand, okay? Carlos, Logan and I are here for you. I want you to know that. But just... try, okay? You know you can come to me with anything." Kendall tenderly brushed James' hair out of his face. "You're beautiful."

"Kendall, what the fuck did I do to deserve you?" James whispered. "I don't deserve someone so amazing. You could do so much better."

"Don't ever say that again," Kendall said, leaning closer to James, his voice trembling. "You deserve to be treated like a princess." Kendall blushed at his wording. "I wish I could give you the world. But since I can't, I want to... I want to spend forever trying." He took James' hands. "Will you be my boyfriend?"

James looked absolutely shocked. His cheeks were beginning to redden and he stared at Kendall's hopeful smile. "Yes," he whispered. "There is nothing I want more than to be your boyfriend."

"Oh, thank God!" Kendall cried, laughing giddily and jumping into James' arms. He gave James a kiss on the lips and tried to deepen it, but his *boyfriend!* pulled away.

"Don't kiss me, I have horrible breath!"

"I wouldn't care if you had gum disease or hairy tonigue or something!" Kendall grinned.

"Stop it," James smacked Kendall's chest lightly.

"Why?"

"Because you don't mean that. I don't even know why you want me."

"Because you're perfect, James. You're the most beautiful, amazing person I've ever met and I love everything about you," Kendall said insistently. "Please, just... trust me, okay? You don't have to agree with me. But please just believe that I mean everything I say." James bit his lip and gazed up at Kendall.

"Okay," he gave a small smile. "Thank you."

"Of course," Kendall grinned again. "So... Carlos and Logan want us all to have a little talk. Are you up for that?"

"I guess," James sighed.

"Okay, awesome." Kendall grabbed James' wrists and pulled him to his feet. "I'm here. And we love you. You don't have to be scared."

The two of them made their way into the living room where Logan and Carlos were eagerly waiting. Carlos hurried toward James and gave him a bear hug. Logan followed, a bit more awkward, but James appreciated the acceptance and care from his best friends. Logan, Carlos, and Kendall sat down on the couch and Kendall smiled at James and patted the spot next to him. James sat down and Kendall reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together.

"We care about you," Logan began. "And I know this really isn't going to change your opinion, but you're too thin. Before you lost any weight you were thin. I'm... fuck, I'm really jealous of you, James. You're so attractive. And everybody sees it but you." James nodded, staring at his feet.

"You looked really good. Not that you don't now. But you were, like, glowing before," Carlos said. "And we're not just saying this because we love you."

"We mean it," Logan agreed. "Why'd you start purging?" James took a deep, shaky breath and Kendall squeezed his hand and ran his fingers over the back of his neck.

"I really don't feel that comfortable talking about that." James was hunched over and fidgeting.

"James, you have to at least try, okay? Because we're trying really hard here." Logan ran a shaky hand through his hair.

"Logan, it's okay," Kendall said softly. "Wait until he's ready."

"We're going to make some changes," Carlos said. "Like... I'm sorry, but you're definitely going to have less privacy. It's for your own good," he added.

"Yeah, it's only because we love you. And sorry, but I'm gonna be breathing down your neck. All the time," Kendall said, and everyone, even James, laughed. "But I don't think you'll mind that too much, right babe?" James blushed and shoved Kendall lightly, playfully.

"And we're going to be nosy." Logan stared hard at James. "This is going to be really hard. And I know you can't just stop purging cold turky, it's an addiction. So a little relapsing is inevitable. But we're going to do everything we can to prevent that."

"Okay," James whispered. His head suddenly shot up to stare and Logan, Carlos, Kendall. "You're not going to tell Mrs. Knight, are you?"

"Not unless you have another incident like last week," Kendall said.

Logan looked confused and he opened his mouth to ask, but Carlos shoved him, hard, and said, "Dude."

"Thanks, guys," James said slowly. All three were shocked and stared at him wide-eyed. "It means a lot, knowing that someone cares enough to do this. Like, I don't like it. At all. But you're amazing friends. So thanks."

"No problem," Kendall smiled. He patted James on the knee and leaned on him.