It seemed to feel like we were washing dishes for a long time. Of course I didn't mind. Leah and Emily were talking to each other while I thought about how I was going to break the news to everyone. I bit my bottom lip while waiting for the next dish to dry. The dream replayed scene after scene in my mind and my breath started to come out in small quite gasps. My chest started to feel tight and I couldn't stop freaking out.
"Bella? Bella!? Are you ok?" Emily asked beside me with a hand on my arm.
"Y-yea, I'm fine. I just um…I- I'm ok." I said trying to get a grip of myself. The images wouldn't stop and my head started to pound. I let out a small moan, which Leah heard and immediately called for Sam.
"Sam?! Sam! Get over here now! Something's wrong with Bella!"
"No!" I said while keeping a firm grip against the counter. Within two seconds Sam was in the kitchen in front of me.
"Bells? Honey? Are you ok? Can you hear me?" he asked concerned.
"I-I'm fine. I just…headache." I said while closing my eyes. I could hear Emily move to the cupboard and pull out a bottle.
"Here Bella. Take some aspirin." She said while handed to me. I knew it wouldn't help but I couldn't refuse with everyone now in the kitchen.
"Thanks." I said while downing the pills dry. Emily handed me a cup of water which I drank.
"Maybe you should lay down baby." Sam said softly.
I shook my head. "No. I'm fine. It pretty much passed already." I said while trying to give him a small smile.
The pounding didn't go away though. It hurt like hell. I thought about my dream, is that what's going to happen? I shook my head and looked up at the guys.
"I'm fine. Maybe I will go get some fresh air." I said while trying to walk out the door. Just as I got out of the kitchen I felt a hand grab my wrist, I turned around to see Jacob with a concerned look. I sighed.
"I'm fine Jacob. Nothing to worry about."
"Bella…maybe we should take you to the doctors...What if it's…"
"No." I said. "I'm fine. I'm human remember? So it's normal." I said with I shrugged. I then bit my bottom lip. I can't keep lying like this. It's almost becoming natural which is something I don't want to happen. Tell them now.
"I…uhhh…so when are we roasting marshmallows?" I said with a smile. Everyone chuckled a little.
"Nice save Bells." Collin said. I smiled.
"So are we going or what? Because I'm hungry for a burnt marshmallow." I said while rubbing my tummy.
We finally made it outside-all sitting around the fire. We were laughing and telling jokes, just having a good time. I felt like it was déjà vu. I was in Sam's arms again, just like I was last time.
Everyone seemed to be in the same position. It was actually kind of funny. I didn't want to ruin the moment but Embry kept giving me glares. I could tell that he really wanted me to tell them but I just didn't have the heart to just yet.
"So Embry..." Paul started.
"Why haven't you phased since like what? The last bon fire?" he asked.
Embry started to get nervous. I could hear his heart rate increase and he put a hand behind his head. "I-I….ummm…." was all he could say.
"It was my fault." I interjected. I put my head down. Sam tightened his grip on me then turned me around in his lap to look at me. He took his hand and lifted up my chin.
"What do you mean it's your fault?" he said slowly and carefully. I bit my bottom lip.
"I mean, it's my fault he hasn't been changing. He...he...kept a promise from me. A promise I didn't want to tell you guys…" Sam's jaw tightened and I put a hand to his face "…until today." I said. I let out a deep breath and turned to look at everyone.
Everyone was looking at me with curiosity and Jake just looked sad.
"What are you keeping from us?" Sam said with great sadness. I stood up from his lap and paced in an oval.
"I'm…I'm different." I started to say.
"No shit!" I could hear Quil say with a smirk on his face. I smiled a little.
"That's not what I meant Quil."
"I have…these gifts. Gifts that I cant explain."
"I can...do things…that most people cant…so many things." I said while looking at my hands as I was pacing the grass. Sam got up and put his hands on my shoulders to stop me from pacing.
"You can tell us Bella its ok." He said while giving me a sign of encouragement. I nodded.
"Where do I start?" I asked myself. "From the beginning." The pack said. I laughed. "Ok. Well…let's see. The reason why I moved here…" I said while situating myself back onto Sam's lap.
"You guys know that my mom, said some things that were not….nice. Well it was more than that. It was more than what I told you Jake." I said guiltily. Jakes head popped up. "What?!" he said furious.
"Sit down Jacob and let her explain." Sam said in a commanding tone. I turned to Sam and gave him a look of thanks. He nodded. Jake backed down but looked at me sternly.
"What the fuck do you mean it was more Bella. You swore to me she didn't lay a hand on you…" he said through his teeth.
"What?!" everyone shouted. Sam tightened his hold on me and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"No! No! No! It wasn't like that. I didn't lie to you Jake!" I said quickly. "She didn't hit me…she just, didn't tell me the whole truth about myself." I said pathetically.
Jake calmed down but didn't give up.
"What do you mean Bells?" he said with true interest. "I'm adopted." I admitted. "What?!" everyone shouted again. I wiggled in Sam's lap feeling uncomfortable with all the attention.
"Yea, crazy huh? The best part is that Charlie doesn't even know." I said sadly. "Bells…" Jake and Sam said at the same time. I shook my head and stood up out of Sam's lap.
"No! Renee…she told Charlie so many lies. She wasn't even pregnant! I wouldn't be surprised if she stole me!" I said practically yelling. "And you wanna know why I stopped coming back here for the summers Jake? It's because she wouldn't let me. I practically begged on my hands and knees and sobbed for days but she wouldn't budge all because she didn't want me to find out all her pathetic lies!" I was getting so worked up and teary eyed. Sam tried to come near me but I took a step back.
"Charlie has no idea." I scoffed. "The reason she left Charlie was because he was getting suspicious that I was different…that I wasn't his. Of course she made up some great excuse to leave him and take me with her to prove her case." I said while tears ran down my cheeks. I quickly brushed them away.
"Bella…sweetie, its ok." Le-le said trying to get my to calm down. I shook my head furiously.
"Don't you see?! I'm not one of you. I'm a freak that doesn't belong here. I should be putting you all at such great risk- I'm not worth the battle." I said as I hung my head. "No!" Sam roared. He marched up to me and took me in his arms.
"Don't you ever say that? Isabella Swan you are worth more than I could ever imagine. I don't care who you came from or what they did; I love you no matter what. You are never worthless" I smiled while tears ran down my cheeks. Sam always knew what to say and when to say it. "…and I would give my life up for you in a heartbeat." He said quietly. My smile was immediately wiped off my face. I pushed him back.
"No! don't you ever say that Sam Uley." I said in a low tone. "Don't ever say you would give your life up for me. I would never want that to happen."
"Bella." He growled but I just shook my head.
"I'm the one being a stupid foolish person. You're in constant danger just being next to me. Just knowing me could get you hurt or even killed!" I tried to explain.
"We're werewolves' Bella. It would take a lot more than just you to kill us." They all said confidently. I glared at them all doubtfully. "No, it wouldn't." I said.
"I have these…powers. These things that I can do with my mind." I tried to explain. All of the sudden I thought I heard a snap of a twig in the forest.
"Did you hear that?" I asked the pack. They all stood up and looked around. Sam immediately put himself if front of me and looked all around.
"Hear what?" he asked in an alpha tone. I tried to listen again but I could hear anything. "Never mind. I just thought I heard something in the woods." I said shaking my head. I could have sworn I heard a twig snap, but maybe it was just my nerves. He looked at me skeptically. He tried to listen one more time but didn't find anything.
"Paul, go into wolf form and patrol the area." He said in an alpha tone.
"Aww, but I wanted to hear Bella's story." He whined. Sam growled "
I gave you an order Paul."
"No, Sam don't. It's ok. It was probably my imagination. Let Paul stay. Please?" I asked in a sweet voice. Sam looked at me and couldn't help but give in.
"Fine." He huffed. "Thanks Bells." Paul said while going back to sit down. I nodded and looked at the woods one more time. Sam followed my eyes and looked at me "are you sure you don't want me to have one of the guys patrol the woods?" he asked nicely.
"No, its fine." I said while shaking my head. "So where were we?"
"I believe we were at the part where you were going to tell them your powers." James said with a smirk.
My head quickly whip lashed to the sound of the voice. The whole pack crouched into a stance and I stood there shocked. "James." I whispered.
"It's finally nice to see you again Bella. You have grown into a very….beautiful woman." He said. I could hear Sam growl in the background. James looked up from me and arched an eyebrow to Sam and the rest of the pack. "Your friends?" he asked me.
This time, I growled.
"What do you want James?" I asked felling like I already knew the answer
He laughed. "I believe you already know the answer to that Bella."
"Me." I whispered. He smiled. "Mmmhhmmm."
I could feel everyone tense around me. I looked back to see the whole pack (except Sam) with their faces full of rage but saddened eyes. This was my fault. I did this to them. I felt so unbelievably guilty. I tired to look into Sam's eyes but he wouldn't meet mine. He finally looked at me. His face was full of sadness but his eyes gave me a feeling that everything would be alright. I tore my eyes away from his gaze and growled towards James.
"Then I guess you already know my answer" I gritted while balling my hands into fists. James growled.
"Now Bella, you don't have to make this any harder than it has to be. Just come with me, I'm sure you will find that you will become accustomed to me and then fall in love with me."
I scoffed. "Yea in your dreams I will." I said.
He growled again, which made the pack even more tense and ready to rip him to shreds. They could get hurt. I thought. I will not let that happen. I promised myself.
"Bella. This is your last warning. If you don't come with me, you will regret this." He warned.
"I never asked for a warning James. And I would never regret not going with you." I said truthfully.
I looked down to see James forming a electricity ball in his hands. I quickly put up a shield around the pack and myself before he could throw it. The electricity ball bounced off my shield.
"Get in the house." I commanded the pack while James furiously threw electricity balls at my shield.
"No!" Sam protested.
"We aren't leaving you Bella" Jake and Leah said.
"Get in the house. I can cover you better there." I said. I needed to concentrate on holding my shield up till they got into the house. It was too hard to concentrate on shielding them in an open space because they had some many places they could go without me protecting with the shield. I could feel they were about to say no so I yelled even louder. "Get in the Damn house! All of you! NOW!" "Trust me." I said in a normal tone. "Please" I begged. Most of them huffed.
"Ok. Jake and Leah, take the rest of the pack into the house. Paul, Embry, Quil, and Seth huddle in a circle around Emily." They nodded.
"No." Jake shook his head. "I'm commanding you as the alpha Jake. Now get in the house with everyone else."
"What about you Sam?" Leah and Emily said. The whole pack nodded in agreement. "I'm staying out here with Bella." He said.
"No your not." I said. "You're going to get your ass inside that house with the rest of them." I said rudely. He shook his head.
"I'm not leaving you out here." He said with dignity. James finally gave up on the energy balls, and stopped for a second to think. "All of you get inside the house now. Sam that means you too, I mean it." I said while quickly looking at him in the eyes. Sam stayed in the same spot debating with himself.
"Jake! Take Sam in NOW!" I yelled while forcing my shield to make a path to the house. Jake looked at me and them grabbed Sam's arm. "Let's go man." Jake said to Sam.
"I-I… no. not without..."
"Go Sam! I mean it. Please, just go back to the house. I will be fine. I promise." I said while looking at him. His eyes looked so desperate. I could tell how much this was hurting him to leave me.
I gave a slight smile and nod to encourage him. As he was walking into the house, James suddenly charged at me. He slammed my back into the ground.
"Ahh!" I yelled. Sam immediately turned around and took a step to help me.
"No!" I yelled to Sam.
"Get in the house." His eyes looked pained again but he obeyed my orders. I quickly got up from the ground and threw an electricity ball at him. He quickly moved it away and telepathically threw me into the food table. I groaned about 20 feet away from James and he laughed. I could hear everyone inside saying 'get up Bella come on.'
I could practically feel Sam's panic come off of him. I slowly crawled to get up.
"You're weak Bella. You should have just taken my offer." He snickered.
I rolled my eyes. "Not weak enough to keep saying no to you James."
He growled and waved his hand to do something to me. Luckily I put up a shield right in front of me. I stood up and huffed. Apparently he wanted a fight, so that's what he was going to get. I conjured up the wind and threw a gust of it at him. He went flying backwards into a tree. James teleported in front of me and began to throw punches and kicks. I quickly dodged them but got hit a few times.
Thank heavens for those martial arts classes I used to take when I was younger. I thought. I didn't know how long we kept fighting but it was like a stalemate, either one of us would give up but I think we both were getting tired. (At least I was.) I didn't know how much longer I would last. James finally backed away from me and smirked.
"See you later Bells." He said with a wink, and then he was off. I moved out of my martial arts stance and stood there puzzled.
What the hell just happened?
We were both bloody (I think I was a lot more than he was, but I threw in some pretty hard blows.) and then all the sudden he vanished. Why? I tired to come up with all different kinds of scenarios. Something wasn't right. I could feel it. I didn't have much time after that to think because I was suddenly eloped into a strong pair of arms. I hissed and he loosened his grip.
"Shit Bella, you practically gave me a heart attack." Sam said. Everyone was standing around me like I was some kind of hero. The truth is, I wasn't even close to being a hero. I was the farthest thing from it. I lied to them, I kept secrets for them, yet they still cared about me and congratulated me for almost beating James?! I was so overwhelmed and confused. James suddenly left and everyone is hugging me like I save the day. WTF?
"Bella?" Sam asked while looking at me.
"Huh? Yea?" I said while not looking at him, trying to replay what just happened in my head.
His eyes tried to meet mine but I wouldn't meet them. "Are you ok?"
"We should get her inside Sam; we need to get her fixed up. She's bleeding pretty badly." Emily said.
"Bells, sweetie come on." He said while trying to guide me inside. The thing was, I wouldn't budge. The feeling of uneasiness wouldn't go away and I just needed to think. What was James up to? I kept thinking.
Sam put a hand on my back and tried to lightly push me. "Bells?...Bella honey, come on." He kept saying. Then Jake finally spoke up.
"Bella. Come on, lets go!" he said almost shouting. That pretty much made me jump and put up a shield. I groaned. Not a good reflex. I was so weak from fighting James it hurt to move.
Someone slapped Jake upside the head. "Nice going Jake."
"What? Oh, sorry. I was just…thinking." I said. Sam looked at me with curious eyes and I just bit my lip and looked down.
"Let's get you inside." Sam said while guiding me. I shook my head ok, and we went inside to the kitchen. Emily already had the first aid kit out on the table, ready to clean up my cuts and bruises.
"Come sit down Bella." She said while pointing to the seat next to her. I looked at all of the supplies on the table. Needles. I shivered. I think that was one of my worst fears. I looked up at Sam scared. He gave me a small loving smile. I stared to back away.
"That's ok." I said.
"Bella, your covered in blood." Emily stated.
Bella…"Sam said.
"No. I fine." I insisted.
Emily got up. "Bella if you are afraid, it's ok. I won't hurt you." She said sad.
"No, I know that. I just...don't like that stuff, and I am fine. I can take care of myself. I will heal later." I said still trying to back away.
"What do you mean heal later?" Jake asked while bringing me into the living room, away from the needle, he knew would make me faint.
"thanks." I said quietly.
"Jake…" Sam said in a warning tone
Jake cut Sam off in a harsh tone. "She doesn't like needles. They make her faint." He said. Sam looked at me and then put his head down. Jake just stared at me. "What do you mean heal yourself?" he repeated.
"I mean, that I can heal myself." I said tiredly
"Look, I can explain this all to you later, but right now, the needle isn't the only thing that's making me faint." I pointed out.
I tired to push past my way through everyone. "I need to get home." I said while putting my shoes on. Sam grabbed my arm.
"No way in hell am I letting you out of my sight tonight." He said in a stern voice. "Let alone drive in your condition." He said while looking at all the cuts and bruises on me
"Plus, you need to tell us everything Bella." Seth said quietly. I sighed. I did owe them an explanation.
"Let Bella get some rest." Le-le said. "She just put up a hell of a fight and I bet she's exhausted."
Sam's grip lessened. He looked at me with sad eyes. I took my hands off my shoe laces and stood up.
"Come on Bella, I will show you a bed you can sleep in." Emily said. I nodded and followed Emily. She showed me a room.
"Here you are!" she said. It was a different one than I went in last time when my mom called me. She must have read my mind because she said "I figured you didn't want the one you were in last time…to many memories."
"Thanks." I smiled appreciatively.
She handed me some spare clothes. "You probably want these." She said.
I nodded. "Thanks again Emily." I said.
She nodded. She was about to shut the door but then stopped. "And Bella, I'm sorry about the whole first aid thing in the kitchen. I didn't know you were afraid and I just got really scared and nervous, I guess I don't handle stress very well…" Emily said babbling.
"Emily!" I said loudly trying to stop her. "It's ok" I said quieter
She blushed and nodded.
"Aright, well goodnight." She said and shut the door.
I slowly changed out of my clothes and into the shorts and tank top Emily gave me. Luckily the bleeding stopped so I didn't have to ask Emily for some band aids. I was really sore so I had a hard time getting my shirt over my head. I heard the door open and Sam walked in.
"Hey. Need some help?" He asked while helping me put my shirt over my head. "Thanks" I turned towards him. He nodded and laid me down on the bed.
"Stay with me?" I asked looking into his eyes. He looked back at mine and nodded. His hand came up to my cheek and caressed it.
"Of course I will." He whispered. I snuggled into his chest and breathed his scent in deeply.
"You scared the shit out of me today Bella." He said while putting his face in my hair.
I bit my lip. And he continued.
"When you told me to leave you, I thought I was gunna die right then and there. It hurt so much to leave you-…and to watch you…" his voice was cracking but he continued. "And to watch you get hurt." His voice was thick with tears. I looked up from his chest and touched his cheek.
"But I'm ok." I said "and I'm sorry."
I wanted to say so much more, like how I didn't want him to get hurt because of me but I didn't want to spoil the moment. His eyes were teary which made me feel so guilty. I was making him cry. I thought to myself. I'm horrible. Sam tilted his head downward and kissed me on the lips. The kiss wasn't hard and lustful. It was soft, and passionate. It was full of love and sadness.
We broke and I looked back at him. We stared at each other for a while. His thumb gently traced my cuts on my face. I hissed when he touched a big one. He twitched a little. "Sorry" I said quietly.
"It's not your fault. I shouldn't have touched them." He said ashamed. I moved my head to look back at him but he wouldn't look at me. So I took my hand and moved his head to look at me.
"Hey." I said trying to get his eyes to look at mine- and they did.
"It's ok. I'm ok." I said gently. I nuzzled my head back into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me carefully. Before I knew it I fell asleep in Sam's arms.