Derek was scared to death. He remembered how frightened he had been when her first child had been born and how scared he was that the little life that he held in his arms depended on him. And now he had three kids who all depended on him and the fear that he had felt then seemed like nothing compared to watching Ava lying in the hospital bed in front of him. She was hooked up to so many machines, with an oxygen mask of her face to help her breath. She had been giving medicine so she could sleep and hopefully gain some of her strength back and overcome the pneumonia. "I...this is...she's so helpless..."

"Hmm?" Meredith lifted her head. She had let her head rest on the bed as she laced her hands with her daughter's small ones.

"This is worse than the surgery." He sighed, looking up at all of the monitors.

"I know." Meredith breathed.

"It's..." Derek shook his head.

"Fucked up."

"That about sums it up."

"Ava..." Meredith murmured, looking at her daughter who had a mask covering her face and monitors attached to every limb it seemed. "Ava..."

"It's not fair." Derek breathed.

"If something happens..."

"It won't...she's...good hands."

"She is."

"Hmm..."

"She's been asleep for six hours."

"Alex said they want to see her sleep at least twelve hours."

"I just hate not being able to talk to her...to know if she's feeling okay or if something is hurting her." Meredith took a deep breath as her eyes watered.

"I know." Derek whispered, putting his arms around her.

"She's too little for this." Meredith breathed.

"She's little...but she's a strong one."

"Yeah..."

"Hey...hi guys." Arizona knocked gently on the door and came inside Ava's room.

"Hey" Meredith sat up, her hands running over her knees.

"How are you guys doing?" Arizona asked, checking all of the monitors to make sure Ava was stable before turning back to Meredith and Derek.

"We're hanging in there." Derek sighed.

"How is she doing?" Meredith asked. She knew how to read monitors but she and Derek had made an executive decision to wait to assume anything until they talked to Arizona.

"She's as stable as can be for the moment. Her body is doing its best to fight this off but we have to help her."

"Okay." Derek nodded. "So what do we do?"

"We'll essentially keep her sedated for at least until this evening maybe later. It allows her body to try and heal. The next twenty four hours are crucial...the worst and the best could happen so she's going ot be monitored every half hour." Arizona explained. "We've only managed to bring her fever down a little. It should get lower but again...the next twenty four hours are going to be key to her recovery."

"Is there anything we can do?" Derek asked.

"It might not seem like a lot but holding her hand and cuddling her...even talking to her are proven to help children when they're laid up like this. She's asleep right now, but the soothing is good for her." Arizona explained, leaning against the wall. "This is a setback...it's not a good thing but we're going to do everything in our power to get her better."

"Okay." Derek sighed.

"We need to get her strong enough to be off the oxygen first. The cancer makes it rough on her body and with everything including the chemo her immune system has gone down the drain which makes this harder." Arizona admitted. "But we're going to take it step by step."

"She's doing okay." He whispered, squeezing Meredith's hand.

"She can't have visitors...just you guys and make sure you keep up with the washing of your hands." She reminded them. "Cristina...Mark and Lexie...if they're here and they're clean they can stop in because they know how to prepare. They know the steps of being around a sick patient."

"How is this going to affect going ahead with the chemo?" Derek asked.

"We don't know yet. She isn't due for her next treatment until Friday. If she's strong enough and most of her symptoms subside then she may be able to move forward. If not...we'll play it by ear."

"Mer?" Derek looked over at her. She was sitting in the chair, just staring at Ava.

"When can she go home?" Meredith asked.

"Right now, I can't say. It really depends on how much she progresses in the next day." Arizona replied.

"Okay." Meredith breathed.

"Like I said, a nurse will be in every half hour to check on her."

"Alright." Meredith smiled weakly, before reaching for Ava's hand.

"Page me if there's anything at all that you need."

"We will." Meredith stroked Ava's hand, watching the monitors.

"Thank you." Derek smiled.

"I'll be back in an hour." Arizona smiled, before leaving the room.

"She's going to be okay." Derek nodded.

"I just hate...I hate all of this crap."

"I know. I do too."

"She's five." Meredith groaned, before sliding onto the bed.

"I know." He breathed.

"What if she got it from me...or one of my relatives. I should ask Lexie if our family has a history of this or..."

"This isn't your fault, Mer." Derek stood up in front of her.

"I didn't know I was pregnant with her until I was eight weeks...I laid out at the beach in Hawaii...I drank and I pigged out." Meredith went on, stroking Ava's cheek. "I got burnt."

"It's not your fault." He repeated.

"Ava...I'm so sorry."

"Meredith."

"What?"

"Neither of us did anything to cause this...it just...happened. Don't blame yourself." Derek whispered rubbing her back.

"I can't..." Meredith burst into tears, leaning into him. "I can't do this..."

"Hey..." He pulled her up into his arms.

"This isn't even near over with and I can't take much more."

"We can't give up...she can't give up."

"I won't give up on her I just...this is some sick kind of hell Derek. The rest of all of our lives could be determined in the next twenty four hours and...I just can't wait for that. I need her to get better now." Meredith cried.

"We have to be strong for her...it's all she has."

"I know." Meredith nodded, moving her hands over his neck.

"And when you feel like you can't do it...you have me." He whispered, kissing her forehead.

"Arizona said we should love on her or whatever. Do what we do when she's awake and well...hug her and talk to her..."

"Then let's do that."

"Okay..."

"Okay." Derek breathed, kissing her softly. "We can do this...all of us."

"I hate seeing her like this." Meredith admitted, looking back at their little girl.

"I do too."

"She looks smaller than five." Meredith pulled away.

"Hmm...she does."

"So tiny." Meredith whispered.

"Remember when she was born...how she gained weight so quickly and then lost it." Derek laughed.

"Yes...and she used to always get more food on us then in her stomach." Meredith giggled.

"Those mashed peas...so gross."

"And your Mom got her started on wearing those huge bows in her hair." Meredith leaned into his side.

"She looked like a little doll." Derek breathed.

"I remember when she got that flu...it spread through the house so quickly."

"I haven't been that sick since then."

"I thought that was the worst."

"It was."

"Now...this is." Meredith looked back at Ava, the machines beeped every few seconds.

"She's going to get through this." Derek rubbed Meredith's back.

"Christmas is in a month and a half."

"I know."

"And Thanksgiving..."

"I don't know if she'll be home for Thanksgiving, Mer."

"If she's here...we need to find a way to spend it with Hunter and Zola too."

"We'll work something out."

"Let's cuddle her...Arizona said it would help." Meredith kissed him quickly.

"Okay." Derek went around one side of the bed.

"Hi Sweetie..." Meredith whispered, sliding onto the bed.

"Hey Aves." Derek breathed, being careful not to disturb any of the wires that were attached to her.

"We know this is probably scary...maybe more scary for us because you're getting good rest baby girl but I just...you can literally have whatever you want when you wake up. Just...please just let your body get better so we can spoil you." Meredith laughed weakly, her eyes watering.

"You have to get better so you can go home and see your brother and sister...they miss you." He whispered.

"Everybody just wants you to get better sweetie."

"There's so many things we want to do...and take you to see..."

"And you...you're going to get better Ava and then all of this will just be a distant memory and one day...you'll barely even remember going through this."

"So you just have to be strong and get better."

"And we're going to stay by your side." Meredith insisted, kissing her cheek.

"Promise." Derek added.

"I love you Ava."

"We love you."

"You rest as long as you need to...we'll wait."

"She looks peaceful," Derek whispered.

"Uh huh." Meredith swallowed, kissing Ava's head. "She doesn't feel as warm."

"I bet all the rest is helping."

"Yeah."

"You know when she's better...whenever that is I think we should all go away."

"To an island...take pictures of the kids and somewhere far away."

"Far away."

"And I am sure I won't let her out of my sight."

"I'm sure you won't." Derek laughed.

"I'll try not to drive her crazy."

"She'll forgive you even if you do."

"Ava...laying here makes me sleepy."

"Go to sleep." Derek whispered.

"Right now?"

"Yeah. You could use the rest too."

"Mmm...okay."

"I'm just going to call the house and I'll be back."

"Alright." Meredith sighed, kissing him quickly.

"Love you...you too Ava." Derek whispered, getting off the bed as Meredith tried to get as close to Ava as she could. All they could do right now was follow Arizona's directions and just hope that everything turned out the way they wanted. He knew there was a chance that Ava wouldn't be home for Thanksgiving or even Christmas but as long as she got better he knew that he and Meredith would be happy.