I'm insanely surprised at how fast I updated! But I was really excited to write this chapter, like you have no idea. I'm getting so into writing this! ^_^ This chapter is intense. Like really intense. And I hope you guys love it!

Over and out.

Kendall pulled over into the parking lot of a movie theater, just needing somewhere to stop. He had been driving aimlessly for the past hour and finally his hands and wrists started to hurt from gripping the steering wheel so hard. He was shaking and finally just leaned over and started crying. His face was contorted in hurt and he just couldn't stop sobbing. Kendall didn't dare turn on his phone. He couldn't handle talking to James after being hurt so badly.

But what hurt the most was how much Kendall had put into this. He had been there for James from the very beginning, and still James wanted this other guy?

Kendall suddenly shifted into reverse and sped up out of the parking lot. He drove with insane focus and within minutes was pulling into the parking lot of the dance club: the one where James and Kendall had made love for the first time. The sound of him slamming the car door shut rang through the quiet darkness of the parking lot, overpowering the faint beat of the music from inside. Kendall stalked toward the club and walked right in without so much as glancing at the bouncer, Laz.

The bar was crowded with guys hanging around and buying drinks, hitting on girls that were sitting cutely on bar stools with their legs crossed like little ladies. The floor, as usual, was sticky with spilled drinks and the music was deafening. But Kendall focused on the bar, searching with purpose. One particular guy caught Kendall's eye; he was tan and some kind of exotic (Armenian, maybe?) with jet-black hair. He was short and just all-around tiny with the nicest ass Kendall had seen in a while.

Probably feeling eyes on him, the guy turned and glanced around, his gaze falling on Kendall. Kendall awkwardly looked at his feet in embarrassment. But finally deciding to stop being a pussy, and driven by blind rage and determination to get back at the boy who broke his heart, Kendall headed toward the bar.

He stepped up next to the tan guy and ordered a beer. After a moment of deliberately staring straight ahead, Kendall felt a soft hand on his wrist. He glanced up.

"Hey," the tan guy smiled shyly. "Kendall Knight, correct?"

"Yeah," he answered, trying not to get a big head after being recognized. "And you?"

"I'm Danny." This Danny guy had an adorable smile and Kendall found himself leaning closer. For some reason he was at a loss for words and couldn't think of anything to say that didn't sound too weird. He awkwardly stared at his hands.

"Hey, you okay?" Danny ran a hand over Kendall's shoulder and Kendall shrugged. "Wanna get out of here?"

"You smoke?"

"Sometimes," Kendall shrugged and took the cigarette from Danny's hand. Sitting in the passenger seat of Danny's car in the middle of the parking lot wasn't much better of an environment than inside the club, but at least it was less overwhelming.

"God," Danny sighed, lighting a cigarette for himself. He tilted his head back and Kendall stared at him, watching his perfect profile and defined Adam's apple. "I don't know why I came here tonight. My ex is always prowling around the place."

"Oh really?" Kendall mused.

"Yeah, he's a real dick. I mean, hot. Really hot. But a dick. It's awkward seeing him. But I can't really stay away." Danny shrugged. Kendall nodded slowly and sucked hard on the cigarette. He blew the smoke out almost directly in Danny's face and Danny laughed.

"Why are you here?" His eyes searched Kendall's face and he had on this kind of faraway smile.

"My boy-" Kendall stopped. Was James still his boyfriend? Were they done? "This guy. He's a real piece of work, you know? But I still want him. I just... I want to make things better for him, be everything he needs."

"Well, Kendall Knight," Danny smiled. "Is that what he wants?"

"What do you mean?" Kendall scowled.

"I mean, does he want help? Whatever's wrong, I mean... does he want to get better?"

There was a silence and in Kendall's world, everything froze. He realized in that moment why none of his efforts had payed off. "No," he answered. "James doesn't want help."

"Then you can't help him," Danny said quietly, tenderly placing a hand on Kendall's. "It's okay to love him and care about him and want the best for him. But you also gotta do you, you know?"

The air outside smelled nice and Kendall suddenly felt smothered by all the smoke in the car. Despite the open window, Kendall opened the door. He threw the cigarette on the ground and squashed it with his foot. Neither boys said anything for a few moments and Kendall was glad that Danny was being so understanding about everything. He was sitting there patiently, seeming perfectly content.

Kendall finally pulled the car door shut and turned back toward Danny. "I guess I wasn't supposed to tell anybody about me and James..."

"Your secret's safe with me." Danny grinned. He paused, and then added, "honestly, I'm just jealous of James now."

Kendall's heart sped up. "Really?"

"Of course." Danny leaned closer and laid a hand on Kendall's shoulder. Kendall stared up at Danny from under his eyelashes and leaned in, Danny holding Kendall's face and drawing him in further. Their lips finally touched Kendall's mind instantly went blank. The kiss was sweet and slow and Danny was being just the right amount of gentle.

Kendall whimpered, but not out of pleasure. Kissing Danny didn't feel wrong, it was just that doing this with someone other than James wasn't okay with him. He felt lost and upset and being with someone who was so caring and gentle just reminded him of what James had done. It absolutely killed Kendall that after everything that he went threw with James, he knew that he would still love him. Kendall slowly pulled away.

"I can't," he said softly. Danny looked confused but didn't object. "I can't do this to James. He lies and he's horrible in relationships and... and he's just a huge pain in the ass. But I love him." Kendall shook his head. "I can't." He found himself completely unable to meet Danny's eyes.

"Kendall," Danny said softly, "It's okay. Hey, did you hear me? I'm not mad." He brought Kendall's face up to meet his and smiled.

"Thank you. You're amazing, you know that?"

Danny blushed and stared at his lap. "Need a ride home?"

"I drove here, I gotta get my car back to the hotel somehow," Kendall answered. He started opening the car door, and then stopped. "Thanks again, man. And... If I wasn't with James, I'd be all over you." He shot Danny a little smile and stepped out of the car, shutting the door and giving a wave. Kendall walked to his car slowly and when he reached it, slumped into the driver's seat. Where should he go now? Going back to the crib wasn't even an option, as far as Kendall was concerned. He knew he'd have to go back eventually, but right now wasn't the time.

Kendall laid back in the seat and squeezed his eyes shut. The day was really taking a toll on him and he didn't want to have to think about anything at that moment. He locked the doors and let himself drift off to sleep, knowing that he wouldn't have gone back to the apartment anyway.

When Kendall woke up it wasn't dark outside anymore. He hurriedly turned the car on and gasped when he saw that it was 7 AM.

Kendall pulled out his phone and finally turned it on, figuring he should at least call his mother and let her know he was okay. The second his phone was on he was overloaded with so many text message and voicemail notifications that it must have buzzed for a solid minute, at least. Kendall rolled his eyes and opened his inbox. Wow, twelve messages? Really? And six of them were from James. Kendall ignored James' texts and went through the others.

Carlos: where did u go

Logan: call me right now.

Mom: Sweetheart, please call me

Logan: okay why is james crying now

Logan: dude this isn't funny.

Mom: Are u okay?

Kendall immediately dialed his mom's number, feeling extremely guilty for worrying her because of his stupid temper. She picked up on the first ring.

"Kendall, where are you? Do you know that it's seven in the morning? James is a wreck... will you please tell me what's going on?"

"Mom... I just had to get out of the house because I was kind of... really pissed off." Kendall sighed.

"Why is James crying? He hasn't stopped since you left. I need to know what's going on between you two, okay?"

"Mom, James is..."

He couldn't bring himself to rat James out. No matter how much he'd wanted to all along, he just couldn't tell his mom about James' eating disorder. "I'm gay." Woah, did he really just say that?

There was a silence on the other end of the phone. Kendall waited anxiously and clutched his phone to his ear. "I-I'm sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear-"

"Are you and James together?"

"Yes," Kendall breathed, dropping his head to the steering wheel.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Is that why James is upset? Did you two get in a fight?"

"...You-you don't mind?"

"Kendall, I love you. You know that."

"But-"

"You're my son! Being gay doesn't make you a different person. I mean, of course it'll take some getting used to, but... I'll love you no matter what. Remember that, okay?"

Kendall couldn't keep the goofy smile off his face. "Wow, Mom. Thanks."

"Of course. Are you coming home soon?"

"Yeah, I'll come by right now. But I'm not staying. I can't even look at James."

"Kendall, don't you think that you should try to patch things up with him?"

"No. I'll be right over, okay?" Kendall hung up the phone without waiting for an answer and tossed it onto the passenger seat. He sat brooding for a little while but couldn't keep from glancing at his phone. Kendall's fingers were itching to snatch it up and read the texts from James. Even if he didn't reply to them, he had to know what James had said. He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his forehead, stressed out of his mind.

Kendall forced himself to drive away without reading the texts.

Kendall knocked on the door to apartment 2J and in a millisecond his mom was opening the door and pulling him in.

"Kendall, you look awful! And..." she sniffed his hoodie, "Have you been smoking?"

"Mom," Kendall sighed.

"Are you okay?" Mrs. Knight ran a shaky hand through her hair.

"Yes. I'm fine. Where's James?"

"Still sleeping. Sit down for a little while, we can talk..."

Kendall walked away. He felt extremely guilty leaving his mom hanging, especially after how accepting she had been with him. She only wanted to help. But the sooner Kendall packed up his shit, the sooner he could get out of there. He marched to his and James' room and paused in front of the door.

After a few calming breaths, he pushed open the door and headed straight for the closet. Much to Kendall's dismay, James wasn't asleep. Quite the opposite.

The brunette was sitting cross-legged on his bed, eyes bloodshot and face completely pale. "Kendall," he squeaked. Kendall tried his best not to look at James, because if he did, he probably would have caved. Without answering, Kendall reached up to a shelf and grabbed his hockey duffel bag.

"Kendall," James said again, but this time his voice was shaking. He sounded like he could have started bawling at any second.

"What," Kendall answered. He tried keeping his voice neutral because even though he was absolutely fuming, hearing James this upset was breaking his heart.

"Please let me explain..."

"Explain what." Kendall whirled around. "Your stomach flu? Or how about Matthew?" James' lips quivered and he stared at his lap. "That's what I fucking thought."

For a while Kendall packed in silence and James started crying softly. The sound of him sniffling literally made Kendall's heart hurt and he was so close to just forgiving James and wrapping him up in his arms until James wasn't hurting anymore. But Kendall knew that he couldn't. James couldn't be trusted. The two had been friends since middle school and they had countless memories together, but he was convinced that James wasn't capable of honesty.

"I love you," James whispered. Kendall felt tears prickling the corners of his eyes and he squeezed his eyes shut for the millionth time that day.

"Stop."

"I can't live without you." And now James was crying again, this time seriously sobbing, and Kendall had to get out of there. Hearing the boy he loved so completely distressed hurt even more than being lied to. Kendall zipped the duffel bag and slung it over his shoulder. He started for the door but stopped when he heard James pleading from behind him, "Please don't leave, please..."

"Why," Kendall said, and his voice broke, and he couldn't stand being so vulnerable. He didn't want James to know how much seeing him like this was affecting him.

"I don't know." James was bawling and just like that, Kendall opened the door and left. He walked out of the apartment and didn't look back. Kendall really tried to be strong. He really tried. But when he got into his car he couldn't take it anymore and finally went to his inbox. One by one, he opened the text messages from James.

James: Kendall come home.

James: I can't think straight, I need you

James: I'm the biggest dumbass in the entire world and I don't know how to make it up to you but i'll do anything in the world

James: I love you

James: I love you so much

James: I've always loved you, always

Kendall felt hot tears on his cheeks and went through the texts over and over and over again. He remembered the voicemails that had been left for him and couldn't stop himself from listening to them.

James had left three, and his mom and the guys had left a few, but of course Kendall only listened to James'. By the end of the last message from James, Kendall was bawling and sniffling and an absolute mess. Why the fuck did James have to go and do something like that? The two of them were such a good team and James had started to get better. And who the fuck was this Matthew guy?

Kendall was gasping and crying harder than he ever had. But he figured that made sense, considering he'd never loved anyone as much as he loved James. And Kendall was pretty sure that he never would.