Okay, so this chapter took longer than I wanted and it isn't AS exciting as I would have liked. But SO MUCH SHIT is gonna go down in the next chapter, you don't even know. Seriously, it's gonna be intense. I hope you guys are liking my fic! I anticipate maybe 3 more chapters after this one and then it'll be over!

But anyways, READ. NOW. Oh and review.

James spent a great deal of time over the next week cuddled up on the couch next to Mrs. Knight. He watched mindless TV shows with her: Young and the Restless, Sex and the City, Gilmore Girls. Somehow being with Mrs. Knight made James feel safe. She smelled like cocoa butter and let him rest his head on her lap and massaged his scalp.

James called Kendall every day and every time, his call was sent straight to voicemail. It was hurting Logan and Carlos too; the only person Kendall answered his phone for was his mom.

James wasn't eating anything at all. Kendall had left four days before and James hadn't eaten since. Everyone was so busy trying to tend to James' emotional state and keep him stable that they didn't even think about his eating. Which was a huge relief.

One day Jo came by and James was pissed because Kendall was his now. He had been cozy on the couch in a nest of blankets next to Mrs. Knight and was already annoyed at whoever had come to the door and disturbed them. He glanced up as Mrs. Knight opened the door, and there was Jo, holding a little gift bag.

"Oh, sweetheart, Kendall's not here right now," Mrs. Knight said, letting Jo in anyway.

"I know," she smiled weakly. "I'm here to see James. Would it be okay if I talked to him?"

"Of course." And Mrs. Knight led Jo into the TV room. James wasn't happy.

"Hi," Jo said softly, siting down beside James and holding the gift bag in her lap.

"Hi."

"I know you're not feeling well and I won't stay long, I promise. I was just wondering if you needed to talk to someone. I'd like to think I'm a pretty good listener."

"There isn't much to talk about," James said, and okay, that was the lie of the century.

"Kendall has a really bad temper," Jo said sympathetically, and James' jaw went slack. Because, really, dis bitch. "When he loves someone, he... really loves them." Jo put a hand on James' arm. "And nothing about you guys has been leaked, don't worry. Carlos just mentioned that something happened with you and Kendall, vaguely of course, and I thought I'd visit you. I don't know what happened between you two, but Kendall really cares about you, James."

"That's the problem," he whispered. Jo handed James the little gift bag and he stared at it blankly.

"Open it!" she laughed and James pulled out the tissue paper and looked inside. A goofy smile spread across his face.

"Better wear your 'Cuda," he said quietly. Jo beamed and was pleasantly surprised when James hugged her.

"You and Kendall will make up. I know it. But I guess I should leave you alone now." She stood and nodded her goodbye and James was shocked at how nice this girl was.

On the fifth day without Kendall, James finally decided that he had to eat something. He had such bad stomach pains that he could barely stand up, so he tried shouting for Carlos or Logan. The problem was that his voice was completely strained. So he picked up his phone and called Carlos. His friend picked up on the first ring.

"Yeah?"

"Hi," James rasped.

"James, are you okay? Where are you?"

"On the couch." Before he could say another word, Carlos was at his side.

"What do you need?"

"I'm hungry..."

"Let me get you something to eat!" Carlos jumped up without a moment's hesitation and rummaged through the kitchen and James was already regretting asking.

Carlos brought in a heaping bowl of leftover mac and cheese and James vaguely wondered why the guys were always feeding him macaroni. He put the bowl in James' lap and stared intently at him.

"What?" James asked, annoyance evident in his voice.

"Nothing," Carlos said sheepishly. He tore his gaze away from James and focused on the floor. James felt a bit guilty and brought a big spoonful to his mouth.

"Thanks," he said. Carlos smiled and patted his friend on the back. "You gonna be okay? I''m just doing some laundry in there." The word laundry struck a nerve for James and he suppressed a frown.

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'm right down the hall, you give me a call if you need me." Carlos smiled and James tried his best to smile back. Carlos left the room and James stared at the bowl of mac and cheese, knowing that he had to eat.

Kendall knew how lame it was to stay in a motel by himself for a week. There were definitely good reasons, though. His friends at the Palmwoods could not find out what happened with James, it would absolutely ruin his career, not to mention his life. That was a bit melodramatic, but still.

Kendall started getting bored of the confinement of the uncomfortable bed in the dark motel room. He'd purchased his weight in Gatorade and potato flakes before finally settling at the motel, and apparently his stomach was seriously pissed about that decision. Kendall hadn't been out of the room once; had hardly dragged himself out of bed to take the occasional shower. It was really time he had an outing.

The second he opened the door to leave, Kendall was practically blinded by the sun. It had been almost a week since he'd seen really any form of light and Kendall had to steady himself and wait a good five minutes before getting in the car and trying to drive. There was a pair of sunglasses in the glove box anyways, which would also give him some form of disguise, even if it was a flimsy one.

Traffic was pretty light and although it was ten in the morning, the sun was hot as ever. Kendall had become so disoriented in the past week that he had absolutely no idea what day of the week it was. Finally deciding that the Starbucks closest to the motel was his best bet, he mindlessly drove there and pulled into the parking lot. Kendall eventually realized that he had been sitting with his car running, parked at Starbucks, just staring straight ahead for the past ten minutes. He pulled down the mirror from the ceiling above him in the car and was horrified by what he saw.

Who was this greasy neanderthal and what the hell had he done with Kendall? The normally smooth, dirty blonde locks were oily and unkempt and plastered to his forehead. And okay, Kendall knew he was pale, but this was ridiculous. His skin was absolutely pasty, which made the new already-distinct bags under his eyes appear even gloomier. Looking in the mirror reminded him of two things he should have done days ago: shower and shave. But when Kendall really thought about it, he didn't give a damn. There was absolutely nobody in the world that he wanted to impress. Nobody in the world mattered. Kendall pushed the sunglasses onto his face and stepped out of the car.

The Starbucks wasn't empty, to Kendall's dismay, but it wasn't busy either. Kendall acted as nonchalant as he possibly could and headed straight for the counter. Surprisingly, there was no line.

"What can I get for you?" a pretty young blonde girl asked. She had a flirty smile on her face that was pissing Kendall off.

"A coffee."

"A coffee?" She leaned closer. "What kind?"

"Just coffee." Kendall was stone-faced and frowning, hoping that this girl would take the hint that he wasn't in the mood to talk.

"Just plain coffee? No flavoring? Any creamer?"

"Just coffee."

"What size?" the girl asked, clearly becoming discouraged.

"The smallest."

"So a tall coffee..." she giggled. "Name?"

"James," Kendall answered without missing a beat, and he felt a pang of pain in his chest. There was no falling out of love. It just didn't happen. And Kendall was figuring that out the hard way.

The girl wrote the name on a plastic cup and said, "Okay, that'll be right up for you!" Kendall turned and sat at the table nearest to the counter and slumped down in the chair. He absentmindedly picked up his phone and read through the texts the guys had sent him, mostly desperate ones pleading for him to come home. Kendall wrote out a quick text to Logan and felt his phone vibrate almost immediately after he sent it. He squinted at his phone and read their brief interaction.

Sent: hey logan staying nearby, love u bro

Logan: Kendall where are you, can I call you?

In the back of his mind Kendall became conscious of a flinty female voice calling, "James, your coffee!" Apparently this James guy didn't hear the girl's shouting and still hadn't come to pick up his drink because she continued calling out for him. Hearing the name over and over was really starting to piss Kendall off until he finally looked around the Starbucks, searching for this "James" with an intense scowl. While glancing around Kendall made eye contact with the girl at the counter and she caught his attention.

"James? Your coffee's ready," she said with a slightly confused smile, and Kendall finally remembered that he was, in fact, "James".

"Oh, okay," he sighed and stood up to grab the coffee. Kendall had just sat back down at the table when his phone started buzzing, and he jumped and spilled a bit of coffee on his hand. "Fuck," he growled, shaking his hand a bit and finally looking at his phone. Logan.

"Hello?"

"I can't believe this. You actually answered!"

"Logan, what do you need?" Kendall asked, trying to sound as calm as possible. He took off his sunglasses and rubbed his eyes.

"I want to talk to you. Obviously. I haven't heard from you all week, it's really scaring me. What happened?" Logan's voice became more shrill with each syllable.

"What do you mean, 'what happened'?"

"Between you and James. He won't talk about it. I don't think he can, he... we can't even say your name in front of him. We have to keep him distracted to keep him from bawling his eyes out. God, Kendall... just tell me, okay?"

"He isn't sick."

"Well yeah, he got over his stomach flu a while ago. But why are you guys-"

"He was never sick." Kendall had an eerie edge to his voice that gave Logan a really weird feeling.

"What are you talking about?" Logan questioned.

"He was using an Emetic."

There was a silence on the other end until Logan finally hissed, "Are you fucking serious?"

"I have never been so pissed off in my life. I can't handle this, Logan..." Kendall started tearing up and had to stop for a moment to breath.

"Where are you?"

"W-Why?"

"I can be there as soon as you need me. Just tell me where you are," Logan said calmly, soothingly.

"You're gonna bring James or something... you guys are always trying to play referee."

"I'm not going to bring James," he said firmly and Kendall knew that he could be trusted.

"I'm at the Starbucks on '39th."

"See you in five." Logan hung up before Kendall could blink an eye.

When Logan walked into the Starbucks Kendall felt nervous and kind of exposed for some reason. He kept his head down until Logan came over to the table and sat down. Kendall could feel his friend's eyes on him but he couldn't bring himself to look up. Logan didn't press it, thank God.

Kendall's hands were resting on the table and shaking violently and Logan gently took them in his. "People are going to see us," Kendall whispered.

"They won't," Logan said as if it was fact. Kendall finally looked up and locked gazes with him and the two stared at each other for a while. "What have you been doing?"

"Staying in a motel." Kendall shrugged.

"That's it?" Logan asked. "According to our friends at the Palmwoods, you haven't been hanging with any of them either. So you've just been by yourself?"

"Something wrong with that?"

"Kendall, you know I'm not trying to put you down. I'm just shocked that you haven't gone insane from being isolated for so long."

"You didn't talk to James about what I told you, did you?" Kendall asked suddenly.

"No," Logan said, causing his friend to sigh in relief.

"Good. Just... don't," Kendall said, and when Logan looked puzzled, continued, "He doesn't want help. We keep trying to help him, but he doesn't want to get better. So it's no use any longer. Only he can save himself."

Logan nodded. "You're right. That's pretty insightful of you. So you haven't, uh, talked to James at all?" Kendall gave Logan a death glare that shut him up pretty fast. "Right. Sorry."

"No, don't apologize. I guess I'm just really touchy about the whole thing because I love him. I fucking hate it because he just won't let me love him."

"I wish I knew exactly what to tell you," Logan said and sighed defeatedly.

"No, don't say that. It's enough that you came here. To see how I'm doing." Kendall offered a small smile. "So, um... you said James is taking the whole thing pretty hard?" He hated to admit it to himself, but he cared. He wanted to know that James loved him and was affected by this too, if even just a little.

"Oh God," Logan ran a hand through his hair and puffed out a breath, "He won't get up from the couch. Which is pretty annoying considering it's in the family room and none of us can play video games or interrupt James' favorite TV shows." Kendall laughed. "No! It's not funny!" Logan exclaimed. "You have no idea how bad it is. I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but... okay, don't tell James you know. But he's been wearing your pajamas, the same pair for a week. He won't take them off. He hardly showers, either."

"Are.. you serious?" Kendall blinked at Logan, who nodded with a stern expression.

"He's hurting. And he hasn't moved on. Assuming that's what you wanted to know?" Logan raised an eyebrow and Kendall blushed.

"I guess."

"Yeah, well... maybe you should come home soon. It's really weird without you."

"Is Gustavo really pissed at me for being gone?" Kendall asked.

"Surprisingly, he gave us a couple of weeks off. Griffin hasn't given him any orders so he went vacationing in Tahiti."

Kendall raised an eyebrow. "Wow."

"Yeah."

After a silence set in Kendall said, "Listen, Logan, don't think I'm trying to get rid of you, I just kind of need time to myself lately."

"It's fine," Logan smiled. "I understand. Just please come home soon. And maybe give James a call?"

"Maybe."