When I woke up I was under my cover. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. What the hell?
I looked around to see Sam sitting in the rocking chair near my bed and window staring at me. We looked at each other for a minute before I spoke up.
"Hey." I said clearing my throat.
"Hey." He said sadly.
I pushed my covers back and put my feet on the ground. I saw Sam in my peripheral vision get up a little. I sighed and sat back into bed pulling the covers back onto my lap. Then, I turned to Sam.
"What?" I asked softly.
He was silent for a little.
"Are you ok?" he asked. I know he wanted to say something else, or something more, but I let it go.
"Yea, im fine." I said looking at my hands. I looked back up at him but he didn't look at me. I sighed again.
"Fine, whatever." I said frustrated. I got out of bed once again and started walking to the door. Right when I touched the door handle, Sam's hand came over mine. I stood there for a second looking at our hands.
"What Sam?" I murmured.
"I-I…"
I waited for an actual sentence to come out till my patience wore out. I turned the door knob and Sam's hands tightened over mine.
"What happened?" he asked. I didn't look up at him and he continued.
"Why were you bleeding? How could you not let me in? wh-why did you leave like that? We could have helped you Bella! What were you thinking?!" his voice was getting louder and louder and my self preservation was getting weaker and weaker.
Tears started to form my eyes as the images flashed through my head, replaying what happened.
I remember what I promised myself and why I did what I did.
"Ju-just leave me alone Sam." I said fighting the lump of tears in the back of my throat.
I turned the door knob again, and got moved pass Sam. Safe I thought. My body felt a little less tense, but my heart was aching to just run back into his arms and beg him for forgiveness.
My feet kept walking and headed down the steps to the kitchen. I went to the pantry and got out some cereal and then got a bowl and spoon from the cabinet. Just before I sat down I heard Sam clear his throat, announcing his presence. I looked at his chest, not daring to look at his eyes, and then returned to my cereal. I sat down and ate my breakfast, staring out the window.
"Bella, please." He begged.
"What!?" I yelled getting up out of my seat. I threw my bowl in the sink and put my arms on the counter.
"What Sam?" I said quietly. After he didn't say anything I pushed off the counter and shoved my way past Sam, who was in the doorway. I was about to head up the stairs when Sam grabbed my wrist. I sighed and turned to him. "Let go Sam." I said, looking at his hand on my wrist.
His thumb went to my cheek and he moved it so I looked at him. My eyes darted from side to side, not daring to meet his soft, sad, eyes.
"Bella." He asked rubbing his thumb on my cheek. "Look at me." He pleaded.
I caved and looked at him. We stared at each other for what seemed like forever.
He slowly leaned in and kissed me. The kiss was slow, and full of desire.
When we broke apart we just stared, lost in each others eyes. There was a knock on the door and I pushed pass Sam to get it. I opened the door to find Jake. He hugged me tight.
"You're ok!" he said. I hugged him back, smiling a little. Only Jake would think I was about to die or something.
"Yea, im good." I mumbled. As we broke apart, I noticed the rest of the pack. I blushed and waved to them.
"Hey guys." I said. "Hey" everyone said. Jake cleared his throat. "Uhh…Bella? What are you wearing?" I raised an eyebrow and looked at my outfit. Shit. I was still in my sports bra and sweatpants.
"Oh, umm…I…" My cheeks flushed red and I heard some of the guys snicker. The pack walked passed me and into the house.
"Sam?" I heard. Jake, who stayed outside with me, looked at me with an eyebrow raised and a smirk etched on his face. I rolled on my eyes and blushed again. "What are you doing here?" they asked.
"Yea, I thought you were supposed to be at work?" Leah said. I straightened up.
"Wait. What is today?" I asked Jake. "It's…umm…" Jake stuttered not looking at me. My eyes became slits.
"Jake." I said dangerously. "It's Monday." He whispered looking down. My hands balled into fists.
"Sam." I growled. The whole pack, including Sam looked at me. I had so many questions boiling in my head. Did Charlie think I went to school? Why didn't he wake me up? Did he know what happened? Why did Sam miss work?
"Why the hell are you here Sam? You know how I feel about you missing work for me." I asked. The pack looked up at me confused but I continued to stare at Sam.
"I needed to make sure you were ok. Plus, it's just a day, its not like anyone care if I miss a day Bells. And if anyone had a problem with it, then they will have to take it up with me." He said. I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth. "I told you I was fine."
"Yea! After you went teleporting around my house and back here while practically bleeding to death!" he yelled.
"I was fine! How many times can I tell you, im fine! So stop worrying about me!" I yelled back.
"Well then, im sorry if I care for my girlfriend, even when blood is gushing out somewhere. I will try to remind myself not to care and let you die."
He said sarcastically. I took a step back shocked at his words.
"Sam." Jake said stepping forward. I stopped Jake.
"No, its ok. He's right." I said softly.
"What the fuck are you talking about Bella?!" Leah yelled at me. I flinched at her words and tone. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.
"I shouldn't…I didn't…I" I tried. I shook my head and looked at them.
"I don't know what to say, or how to explain anything. I know you guys want answers but I can't give them to you, because I don't know what's going on either!" I yelled in frustration.
I pushed pass everyone and headed up to my room. Once I got there, I slammed my door shut and paced the floor. I tried to think of explanations to explain the headaches and bleeding. I ran my hands through my hair as I paced the floor. The frustration was getting to me. The tears were coming fast and faster and the sobs started to leave my mouth. I put a hand over my mouth to stop muffle the sound but I couldn't pull myself together. My door slowly opened and Sam came in.
"Go away." I said sobbing. He walked towards me, but I took a step back. I wiped the tears off my cheeks, but they just poured down even more. Before I knew it, Sam wrapped his arms around me tightly and I was sobbing into his chest. He kept whispering 'everything will be ok.' and 'im sorry, im so sorry.' Over and over again in my ear. I cried and cried till no tears would come out anymore. Sam wouldn't let me go, he held me the whole I sobbed into his chest, getting his shirt all wet. I calmed myself down a little and looked up at Sam.
"I-I-Im sorry. Im so…so…so…sorry." I said into his chest. Sam rubbed his thumb over my cheek.
"It's ok. It's my fault too. I should be apologizing." He said, kissing my head. I looked up at him; eyes brimmed with tears and a sob in my throat. I bit my lip and then snuggled back into him even more. I put my hands around him and listened to his heart
"Love you." I mumbled. I could feel him smile.
"Love you too." He said.
We stayed like that for a while, just holding each other till Sam spoke up.
"Ready to get up?" he asked. I took a deep breath in.
"yea, lets go." I said confidently.
Sam and I got up at the same time, but the way we were holding each other- we were…tangled. So we ended up falling flat on our asses. Sam and I laughed at each other and ourselves.
"You guys ok?!" Seth yelled from the bottom of the stairs.
"Yea!" Sam shouted back.
"Be down in a sec!" I yelled. Sam got up first, dusted off his pants and lent a hand out to help me up. I graciously took it and dusted myself off as well. He took my hand and we walked down the stairs to the rest of the pack.
"Hey guys." I said, biting my lip.
"Im sorry for the temper tantrum I had earlier." I said.
"Its ok Bella, we all get like that sometimes." Embry said with a wave of a hand. I smiled and nodded towards Embry.
"Thanks." He nodded back to me.
"Not that we are mad at you Bells, but what's going on? First you're bleeding and then you go all PMS-y on us." Quil said. Leah threw a pillow at him. Sam dragged me to sit with him on the end of the couch.
"Yea, sorry about that. I had a nose bleed."
"A nose bleed? That's why you wouldn't let us in?!" Paul said incredulously. Sam gave him a death glare and Paul backed off. I looked between the two guys, blushing and feeling like a fool. I didn't know how to respond and before I could, Sam spoke up.
"It was more than a nose bleed. The towel she used from my bathroom was drenched with blood." He stated. Everyone looked at me, and all I could think was he looked through my stuff? He must have read my expression.
"No, I didn't look through your things, I went to the bathroom to find you some aspirin, and that's when I saw the towel in the trash."
I nodded. "It really was a nose bleed." I said to Sam.
He rolled his eyes. "Yea and im related to a monkey." He said sarcastically.
I raised an eyebrow. "Really? I thought you were related to dogs?" I said amused. He smiled slightly and gave me a squeeze to the stomach which caused me to giggle a little. His face returned seriously and all I could do was sigh.
"It's true!" I tried to reason.
"Bella, if you lost that much blood, it wouldn't come out of your nose." Brady said. "Unless your nose was huge or something, which by the looks of it, you don't have a big nose." Collin said snickering. I rolled my eyes.
"I produce more blood than a regular human. I don't know why I was bleeding, I just did. And I guess my body was trying to heal myself by producing more blood, but it wouldn't clot or something. I don't know." I said exhausted. A question suddenly occurred to me. "Does Charlie know im home and you're not at work?"
"Umm…" was all Sam could say.
"Sam." I said in a menacing tone.
"No, he doesn't. He thinks you're in school. But he does know I took the day off." He said.
"But you work with my dad Sam! What does he think you're doing if he thinks im at school!?"
"He thinks im running errands. I have been working a lot lately and haven't had a lot of time to spend for myself. So I took the day off." He said with a small grin. I nodded in understandment.
"What you asked me earlier Sam. Like why I didn't let you in, and why I teleported and what I was thinking." I bit my lip and continued.
"When I saw all of the blood, I knew something was wrong. Actually I knew it before then. When I was in the shower, I-I could hear your guys' conversation without even trying. Then my headache got worse, and when I got out of the shower, my nose was bleeding. It wouldn't go away, and I knew that you guys would blow it out of proportion. You all don't understand me. No, let me rephrase that." I said, putting a finger up before everyone protested.
"You guys understand me- my personality, my love, my trust, my issues and drama I carry along. But you don't understand my powers. The dangers that I bring along-the risk I have to take and the fear and wonder I live through everyday. The over-protectiveness has to lower a bit. I will get hurt from time to time, but I will survive through it. Im strong, and I've learned not to doubt it, and you shouldn't either." I said out of breath.
They all were silent, thinking over everything I said, was my guess.
"Ok." Jake said. Everyone, including me, looked up at him.
"We will try to….understand better I guess." He said. I nodded.
"Thanks Jakey." I said. I looked at all of them, one by one.
"Anyways," Paul started. "We have a new member to the pack soon!" he announced.
I raised an eyebrow.
"Really? Who?" I wondered. Jared and Kim. My thoughts told me. I put a hand to my head.
"You ok?" Sam asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.
"Yea, good." I told him with a smile. "So who's joining us?" I asked Paul.
"Jared. He's older than Collin and Brady but he will be a newbie werewolf." Paul said happily.
"Was he your friend or something?" I asked out of curiosity.
Paul's faced dropped.
"Yea, he was. When I changed, I couldn't be near him anymore. I tired to make him understand, but he wouldn't listen. Now that he's going through what we went through, we can finally catch up like old times." He said with a smile on his face again. I was truly happy for Paul.
Jake and Sam were exchanging looks, and I looked back and forth between the two. "What?" I asked.
"Jared, well, we don't know why he is changing so late." Jake said.
"He should have changed earlier. He showed signs of changing- his voice, muscles, and strength- but he didn't change for over a year." Sam said. I thought it over for a moment before images played in my head. It was like I was watching clips of his life. A girl. Kim. He pushed the change away because of Kim! I thought.
"It was because of Kim!" I said aloud.
They all looked at me. "Huh?" Jake said.
"Kim!" I said at all of them. Everyone still looked confused so I began to explain. "Kim was Jared's…crush. Right?"
"Yea…They went out a few times and hit it off" Sam said confused.
"He loved her. And if Paul told him about the whole 'werewolf' thing, or even parts about it, then he knew what was going on with him. He was fighting off the change to stay with Kim!" I exclaimed.
"So because Paul told him, then he tried to fight it? Nice going Paul." Leah asked.
I rolled my eyes at first. But then when she started blaming Paul I sent her a glare." I bet Jared was smarter than you think. Even though Paul didn't tell him details he still connected the two. I mean it's pretty obvious. And I can bet you he noticed you were going though more than puberty by the rate you were changing and not being able to see him anymore." I said.
I felt as if Leah was still angry at Paul. "Its not Paul's fault Leah." I said.
She rolled her eyes. "Come on Bella! He could have totally exposed us. Just because he didn't have a 'friend'" she said in air quotes. Anger surged through me. I could see Paul recoil at her words. I shook my head at Leah in disappointment. "Well once you know what its like to feel alone, then you can start judging people. But until then don't." I said in a short, irritated tone.
She looked at me angry. I saw Jake held her tighter and she started to shake. "I know what it's like Bella. When YOU left, I was alone. So don't lecture ME!" she yelled at me. I stood up off of Sam's lap.
"You think I wanted to go with Renee?!" I asked incredulous.
She backed off a little. "You didn't have to leave! You could have taken a fit or protested or something! But you didn't Bella! You just went with her without looking back." She said sadly. I backed off and sighed.
"Your right, I didn't. But answer me this. Do you think it really would have worked if I took a fit…or screamed, kicking and crying!? I was 4 Leah. 4! Charlie was already beaten up after my mom's whole spiel about how he wasn't good enough and how she hated being here. So I didn't fight I didn't scream or kick or cry because that would make it worse. It would kill Charlie to know that he couldn't do anything to be with me. So im sorry. I'm sorry if I left you alone when Renee took me away. I didn't mean to, and I didn't ask to go, but I thought I did what was best." I said, ending with tears in my eyes.
Leah bit her lip and stepped towards me.
"Im sorry." She said hugging me.
"Me too." I said. When we pulled away I could see Paul standing by me. "Thanks bells." He murmured. I nodded towards him. I wiped away my tears that started to come down my cheeks. "Ok, so about Jared." I said.
"Yea, will you explain how you knew that?" Seth said.
I thought about it for a second before responding. "I-I don't know." I said.
"What do you mean?" Sam asked.
"I don't know. I mean, I don't know how I know. I just…know."
Leah looked at me "New power?" she suggested. I bobbed my head up and down a little.
"That would explain the headache I guess." I thought out loud.
"Headache?" Leah looked at me accusatory.
I smiled sheepishly. "Yea, I had a headache all day, and the nose bleed later, which you knew about." I said.
I thought harder. "I think your right Le-le!"
"The last time I had a headache was at the bonfire when I told you guys my secret. That's when James came!" I said, stumbling on his name a little. Sam gave me that 'look'.
I could feel it but I didn't dare look at him. Leah stopped me.
"But James came. You didn't grow a power."
"Yes I did, you guys just didn't know it. All of the sudden when we were fighting, I could throw these energy ball things."
I tried to think about my past to see if I had any symptoms like this when I got some of my other powers. I snapped my finger. "Of course!"
"What?" Embry asked.
"When I was younger-when I started to discover my powers, I used to skip school and come home because I would get migraines. I ended up going to a free clinic one day to get some pills but they just went away a couple weeks later."
Everyone nodded as I put the pieces together.
"So you're saying your new power is to know about Jared's life?" Collin snickered. Everyone glared at Collin. "No, well…kinda." Everyone looked at me shocked.
"When you guys said Jared's name, images played in my head, it was like his life flashed before my eyes."
"Sweet!" Brady exclaimed.
"So no more bloody noses?" Sam asked hopefully. I bit my lip. "Well, I don't know why that happened actually." I sat back on his lap and snuggled into him. "sorry." I said in his chest.
"Don't worry. We will figure it out." Sam said, stroking my arm.