Equivalent pages in TTP (US Hyperion books edition): Pages: 23 – 50

For anyone who is interested in actually going back to compare what I have written to the original, I will be putting up the page numbers of specific scenes that appear in each chapter. The dialogue and such will be based on the US edition, since that's what I have access to, so I apologize in advance to any purists out there. (However, I have listened to the Nathaniel Parker audiobook, and there didn't seem to be too glaring a difference between the two versions from what I could tell.)

Disclaimer: The characters, much of the dialogue, and sadly, even the plot are not mine; they all belong to Eoin Colfer.

Chapter 2: The Natural Question

Twins! This might be a turning point for you. Who knows? Maybe you'll rise to the occasion and set a good example for them. Or are they already showing signs of having inherited the Fowl gene?

If you are speaking of the gift of extraordinary intelligence, that still is, and ever will be, mine alone. If you mean to ask if they appear naturally inclined toward criminal ventures, they are indeed inquisitive, but overall I've observed that they seem, quite bafflingly, entirely normal. But I will mention that Myles is already showing an interest in the sciences, which is promising.

Phew. Having one criminally minded genius in the human world is headache enough. Oh, by the way, Foaly and Trouble managed to get me a job back at Recon. Kraken Watch. About as exciting as watching stinkworms grow, but at least it gets me aboveground. Took long enough, I think they had some hassle finding me a spot. Honestly, I never thought I'd live to see the day where I came back to the world as a great hero returned from the dead, and everyone wishes they could put me back in the museum where I belong.

Holly was strolling through the thoroughfare on her way to LEP headquarters, grinning a little to herself. What melodrama, she thought. Really, a little mission gone a bit wrong, it's not like that's anything new. Why should you suddenly start needing a psychiatrist now?

Merrily humming an old tavern jig under her breath, Holly scrolled through the list of fresh messages she had received that morning. Mulch, of course, couldn't seem to shut up about how well the agency was doing without her famous face to botch up every operation. She also had a memo from Trouble, telling her to get over to his office first thing so he could give her her next assignment, and Foaly wanted her to drop by Ops before she set out, since he had another new gadget he wanted her to test. There was even one nice note from Foaly's wife Caballine. They had been exchanging messages back and forth with for over a week now, and already the two of them had met for lunch a couple of times.

Of course, things weren't the same as they had been before, and there were still awkward moments when someone brought up something she had missed, but she now felt well on the road to getting reconnected and replanting her roots.

Still smiling slightly, Holly noticed that she had a new message from Artemis, in answer to one she'd sent just yesterday. Despite how busy he seemed, he was still remarkably consistent in remembering to keep in touch on a regular basis. She absently flicked it open.

A museum is not such a bad place to be. More archival. Remembered throughout the generations and forever treated with the greatest reverence and respect.

Holly laughed out loud, causing a pixie couple strolling nearby to glance her way. Holly quickly tapped back, Was that supposed to be a joke? Thanks, but no thanks, Mud Boy. You might enjoy being a fixture at a museum, but darned if I want to end up as one of your twentieth-century art pieces. Excuse me, nineteenth.

Time-travel displacement, she thought, as she put away her phone and concentrated on battling the usual crowd standing between her and LEP headquarters, her brow furrowing with determination. It's not such a big deal.

Holly stepped into work that morning, the latest model of jumpsuit Foaly had developed while she had been away zipped up to her chin. The place was mostly empty, though a few workers passed her as she came in, going home for the day. Since she had been put on the Kraken Watch Task force, she had essentially been working a night shift, performing assignments during the day on the surface.

After stopping by Commander Kelp's office—she didn't think she'd ever get used to that one—she headed directly to the operations booth. She found Foaly holed up inside as usual, sitting on his old swivel chair made specifically for centaurs and his eyes glued to the computer screen closest to him as he tapped furiously away at his old-style keyboard. Some things never changed.

"Hey, Foaly. Capt—I mean Commander Kelp just finished filling me in. I'm going to the surface to check out the problem with that sensor. What do you have for me?"

"Right, just a second then." Foaly didn't turn around, making to finish up whatever he was working on.

Holly's eyes wandered the familiar room, stacked with all Foaly's gadgets and various new projects. Despite her persistent attempts to shake it off, the familiar feeling she had been having for the past two weeks crept back yet again. The one that whispered in the back of her mind, The same, yet not the same.

She quickly shook her head slightly. Melodrama, she thought. That's all it is.

To drive home the point, she summoned a mental image of Commander Root. "So it took you three years to complete a mission that saved an entire fairy family. Boohoo. Poor you. Now get over it, Captain Short. Don't expect me to cut you any slack just because everyone thinks you're some kind of national hero now. I really couldn't care less how many movies they make about you."

Holly blinked, smiling as her eyes burned. Wish you were here, Commander, she thought. I could use somebody to kick me back to my senses.

Holly came back to the present just as Foaly turned at last, smiling hugely at her. It was a grin she knew all too well, the grin of a scientist whose guinea pig had finally just arrived.

Holly couldn't help it. She grinned back.

The sky was still cast in darkness when Holly reached the surface, but that wouldn't last. Already she could see the deep black of night giving way to purple as the sky continued to lighten.

Many fairies didn't particularly care for the daytime on the surface. Sunlight weakened the power of magic, and dwarfs were especially sensitive to UV rays. However, Holly had never minded it. It was hard to fully appreciate the breathtaking views the surface had to offer in the dark, and there was something to be said about flying through an endless expanse of blue sky on all sides, sunlight glittering off the surface of the ocean. Especially when you had a brand new set of wings to test out.

There are some perks to skipping ahead three years, she thought, swooping low enough to the waves below she could feel a misty spray against her suit, then swinging back up to a proper long-distance flying altitude.

Along the way to her destination, Foaly thought he would try to entertain her, and played a human audiobook file featuring a kraken. Holly was more annoyed than amused.

"It's so typical of humans, Foaly, to take something perfectly natural and demonize it," she said, particularly offended by the 'kill, kill, kill' bit at the end. "Krakens are gentle creatures, and the humans turn them into some kind of murderous giant squid."

Foaly was more easygoing. "Come on, Holly, it's just sensational fiction. You know those humans and their imaginations. Relax."

Holly took a deep breath, forcing herself not to run off on a rant. There were so many injustices in the human world, sometimes it was all she could do not to stew over it for hours. Most fairies were more like Foaly, and just rolled with it, but Holly had never been able to do that. Injustice was injustice.

They bantered for a bit more, until at last Holly reached the location of her assignment and had to cut the conversation short. Time to get to work.

"Okay. Potential disaster averted, and our good deed done for the day. Kick up your boots and head back to the shuttle station. I have no doubt that Commander Kelp will want a detailed report."

No doubt he will, Holly thought, and probably be a bit jealous besides. Nearly getting blown sky high by a kraken's explosive shedding process while trying to save a bunch of hapless, idiotic humans would rank high in Trouble Kelp's book of 'good fortune.' He probably would have even tried to cut it a few seconds closer.

Holly was about to respond, but she hesitated, noticing an icon appear in her visor.

"Just a second, I have mail."

Foaly was impatient. "Mail! Mail! Do you really think this is the time? Your power levels are down, and the rear panels of your suit have taken a severe pasting. You need to get out of there before your shield fails altogether."

Holly felt a growing sense of foreboding as she gazed at the icon. It was from Artemis, and it flashed a threatening red color in the lower left corner of her visor. In the color coded system they had arranged, red stood for urgent. Apprehensively, Holly opened the message.

"I need to go to Ireland," she said abruptly.

Foaly had seen the message too, and he didn't object. Instead, he started putting together a list of options for excuses he could make for her, for which Holly was grateful.

But even as Holly took control of her engines and shot off through the sky, a cloud of anxiety settling over her, a part of her—the hardened, wily side that made her such a good officer—could not completely stamp out a slight suspicion that, in that moment, formed at the back of her mind.

She and Artemis had become good friends certainly, and she was glad to have had someone to talk to after the time-jump thing. But that didn't mean she had suddenly turned blind or lost her memory. In her experience with Artemis Fowl, he was often the big, fat spider sitting right smack in the center of a web of lies and half-truths, manipulating everyone else caught in the web for some purpose, some goal.

She tried to dismiss the thought as soon as it came, to tell herself to have a little faith. But even so, a part of her found herself silently asking the only natural question. What are you up to now, Artemis? What are you up to now?

A/N: Ah, this chapter...I hate to say it, but my generally feeling toward this one has always been that this particular chapter is the worst of the entire fanfiction. (Along with maybe chapter 27.) This part in the original TTP is just so good at what it did (starts out with Foaly showing Holly the kraken audiobook file, which directs our attention to Holly's opinion of humans in general, moves on to Caballine and Holly's feelings of being left out, mentions Mulch's role in previous books which sets up his appearance later, goes into a bit of an action scene [that later proves vital to the book's climax], and so on), but I obviously didn't want to insert the entire scene here, so I wanted to find a way to clip it out in a natural-feeling way.

This is my most recent version [June 2014], and I think it's a great improvement over what I had last, but I think it could still use work. Oh well, I suppose writing is an ongoing process, yeah? :j

Posted 9/24/11, reposted 3/12/12, reposted again 9/30/14