Ever since Derek's walk with Mark, he couldn't get off his mind what his friend had said about giving Richard Webber, the chief of surgery at the New York hospital, a call about a job. The truth was that he missed the operating room and the patients and the way that he felt when he saved a life. But he wasn't sure what to tell his wife about going back to work. They had so much on their plates
with trying to take care of Ava, Hunter and Zola and going back to work seemed like it would be too much but it Derek couldn't get it off his mind. And after a lot of thought and a call to the chief, he decided it was finally time to tell Meredith. They were sitting with Ava as she slept during her chemo treatment and he figured now was as good of a time as ever.
"She's doing so well." Derek smiled, fixing Ava's blanket as he sat on one side of her.
"A regular old pro."
"She is."
"Arizona thinks she should be able to tolerate a bone marrow transplant soon...and it will hopefully play a big role in her healing."
"She'll have to be in the hospital for awhile."
"True." Meredith sighed.
"Mer..."
"Yeah?" Meredith looked up.
"We need to...talk about something." Derek said.
"Is it about Ava sleeping in our bed?"
"No."
"I was going to say...we agreed that her being in our room was the best for a while."
"I still think it is."
"Okay." Meredith smiled.
"How would you feel about me going back to work?" Derek asked.
"I...back in Seattle...?" She looked at him with confusion on her face.
"Here."
"New York?"
"New York...here...in this hospital.
"Oh." Meredith looked down at Ava.
"I spoke to the Chief the other day...Richard Webber..."
"I've met him."
"He's a nice guy,."
"Right..."
"And they're looking for a new chief of neuro."
"And you want the job?"
"I don't know."
"And he understands that Ava...she might need you sometimes?"
"He does." Derek nodded, looking over at Ava.
"She's going to need a transplant soon and when she has surgery you might..."
"I will be there...no question."
"Okay." Meredith breathed.
"If you don't want me to take the job..."
"I...it might be good for you."
"But what about you?" Derek asked.
"I need to be with Ava." She whispered, leaning over to kiss her sleeping girl's cheek. "She needs me."
"I don't want you to resent me." Derek breathed.
"I won't..." Meredith sighed, closing her book.
"Are you sure?"
"I can't think about work right now because I'm distracted and its not good for me to work and...she needs me but we're already here all the time so maybe you should get back to work." Meredith sighed. "You working might be a little more normal for the kids."
"I don't want to go back to work and have you feel like I left you here to do this on your own." Derek whispered, pulling the blanket all the way over Ava's feet.
"I think it's a good idea."
"Okay."
"I mean...you can work and see how you like working in the city."
"Promise me something?"
"What?"
"If you feel like I'm overdoing it...tell me and I'll pull back."
"Derek I trust you...I do." Meredith explained. "You love your kids so much and I know you won't do anything to hurt them or jeopardize your time with them."
"Okay." Derek sighed.
"Plus maybe your hands will stop shaking." She smirked.
"What?" He looked down at this hands that he was wringing together.
"You need to cut...you're human."
"I'll um...I'll call him back later."
"Not to be the nagging wife but you have to stop in and check on her when you're working." Meredith replied.
"I will." Derek chuckled, finally feeling relieved.
"Maybe if you like it..."
"Hmm?"
"If you like New York...we could think about making the move."
"That's a big decision."
"But we said we would consider it."
"We'll see what happens."
"When would you start?" Meredith asked, reaching for her phone.
"Next week."
"Wow."
"I know."
"Soon." Meredith shifted in her seat.
"Mer...if you really don't want me to..."
"It's good for us."
"So next week..."
"You return to work."
"Yeah."
"I think it will be harder on you...being away from Ava."
"I feel like I have to do something...I can't help her..." Derek breathed, running his hand over Ava's.
"I understand." Meredith breathed.
"Daddy..." Ava's eyes slowly opened.
"Hey there sleepy head." Derek smiled.
"Juice."
"Here you go." He handed Ava her cup.
"How did you sleep?" Meredith asked, moving around the cords attached to her daughter.
"Good." Ava yawned.
"You were getting your rest." Meredith giggled.
"I was sleepy."
"Yeah?"
"Are you hungry?" Derek asked.
"I want oranges." Ava pointed to the snack cooler they had brought for her.
"I'll peel one for you."
"Kay." Ava reached for her baby doll.
"There you go." Derek handed her a piece of the orange.
"Yummy." Ava sighed.
"Do you want more?"
"Yeah." Ava breathed.
"Here." He handed her another piece and kissed her cheek.
"Ava you've been eating good today." Meredith said, fixing Ava's pink fleece blanket.
"My tummy is hungry."
"What else do you want?" Meredith asked, reaching for the snack bag.
"Crackers."
"Here." Meredith took two crackers from a zip lock bag. "Start with two."
"You're doing so well, pumpkin." Derek smiled.
"She is." Meredith breathed.
"Do I have to stay here tonight?" Ava asked.
"No we're going home tonight." Meredith squeezed her hand.
"Good." Their little girl smiled weakly.
"Hi Ava!" Sammy, a fellow patient and one of Ava's newest friend's wheeled by with the assistance of a nurse.
"Hi!" Ava waved.
"Wanna play after I get pricked in the finger?"
"Can I play?" Ava turned to Meredith.
"I...maybe you two can color." Meredith suggested, looking up at her husband.
"As long as you're not running around I think it's okay." Derek smiled.
"Yay!" Sammy clapped.
"I'll bring her back when we're done." The nurse laughed.
"Sammy has cancer in her brain Daddy." Ava replied, taking another bite of the orange.
"I know."
"But we both have no hair!" Ava gasped, kicking her legs.
"I know I see." Derek chuckled.
"Is my yucky in my brain?"
"No..." He breathed.
"Why?"
"I...it's not."
"Cause I'm gonna get better?"
"You're both going to get better."
"And we can be best friends." Ava giggled, taking another bite.
"Right."
"Good."
"Have a little bit more juice before you go play."
"Or maybe Sammy could come over here since she's not hooked up to anything yet." Meredith breathed.
"Did you bring my dolls?" Ava asked.
"I did." Meredith breathed, reaching for a pink tote.
"We can play Barbies!"
"Calmly." Meredith breathed, opening the bag.
"Drink your juice first, please." Derek handed Ava her cup.
"Kay." Ava yawned, taking a big swig. "Do you think Sammy can come to grandmas and play one day?"
"Oh...maybe."
"I like living at Grandmas." Ava breathed as Meredith sat up, before sitting down in Ava's chair and lifting her little girl onto her lap.
"Yeah?" Derek looked up at Meredith, thinking about their conversation from earlier about moving back to New York.
"Yeah." Ava curled into Meredith's chest.
"That's good."
"Will Santa know we're at grandma's and not in Seattle?" Ava asked.
"He will." Derek nodded.
"We gotta get new stockings."
"We will Ava." Meredith kissed her head.
"I want a big one."
"How big?" Meredith giggled.
"This big." Ava held her arms as wide as she could
"Wow." Meredith giggled.
"And Daddy should dress up like Santa!"
"I don't know about that Ava." Derek laughed.
"No wires." Ava lifted her hand, hoping Derek would un hook her from her medicine.
"I can't do that pumpkin."
"I don't like it." Ava giggled.
"I know."
"No..." Ava laughed. At this point she knew better than to expect anyone to remove the wires but she still asked with a smile on her face. "Gotta take it away."
"Very soon." Derek kissed his daughter's cheek.
"Cracker." Ava pointed.
"Here you go."
"It's a good day." Ava grinned.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Ava stretched.
"Why do you say that?"
"It just is." Ava shrugged, reaching for Meredith's phone.
"Oh okay." He laughed, looking over at Meredith.
"It is, isn't it?" Meredith breathed, knowing now that a day their daughter was alive and breatching was a good day.
"Is Sammy going to come play?" Ava asked.
"In a little while." Meredith breathed.
"I wanna play!"
"Want to play a game?" Meredith asked, reaching into one of her bags.
'What game?"
"I have Candyland and your princess game." Meredith breathed, wanting to please Ava quickly.
"Yeah! Candyland!"
"I thought you would like that."
"Daddy play with us!"
"Okay." Derek laughed.
"I'm going to call your Mom before we play." Meredith stood, reaching for her phone.
"Kay." Ava smiled. "Tell her I'll come home soon!"
"I will." Meredith kissed her cheek.
"Bye." She giggled, waving at Meredith as she walked from the room.
"Will you have a little bit more juice Aves?" Derek asked her.
"No."
"Just one more little sip."
"No more." Ava giggled.
"You are stubborn just like your mother." Derek laughed.
"Like Mommy!"
"Just like Mommy."
"Yeah." Ava laughed, kissing her baby doll.
"I'm very proud of you Aves." Derek smiled.
"Why?"
"You are doing so well."
"What does that mean?" Ava asked.
"I...nothing." Derek laughed. "I love you."
"You're silly."
"I know."
"Okay...Zola is apparently a little cranky right now." Meredith sighed, coming back and sitting down.
"Does she need help?" Derek asked.
"I asked but she said they're doing just fine." Meredith opened the board game box.
"Is Hunter helping her?"
"Of course." Meredith smiled, as she handed out the pieces. Ava was doing well all things considered and it helped that their little girl had even made a friend who understood what it was like to be a kid who was sick. Meredith would do anything to get Ava healthy but things seemed to be going well. She was strong and right now they were going to soak in the moments that she laughed and seemed
like their normal little girl. Derek would go back to work and while she would take on the brunt of Ava's care during that time, she was happy. They would fall into a normal routine and maybe they could move forward as soon as Ava began to heal.