The next few weeks pass in a blissful blur, as Rachel spends every possible moment with Finn, talking about everything and nothing, strolling through the city hand in hand, making out furiously against every surface of the apartment, him exploring her body with his hands the way he can't with his eyes, and the more time she spends with him the more she finds herself falling for him, for his kindness and talent and adorable bumbling charm, and the more time she spends with him the harder it becomes to bring up the subject of her damaged face. At first it was simple insecurity keeping her from telling the truth, now it's guilt, how can she possibly admit that she kept something like this from him for this long? But every time she considers telling the truth the words get lost in the overwhelming fear of losing the greatest guy she's ever been with. If he isn't turned off by the fact that she isn't nearly the vision of beauty he seems to think she is, surely the fact that she lied to him will do the trick. In spite of it all, she's worried about him, about the fact that his vision hasn't improved yet, as crazy as it seems, she wants him to be able to see again, to live the full and happy life that he deserves, even if it means losing him.
The longer he goes without his sight the more frustrated he becomes, he's trying to hide it, she can tell, he's always so sweet and genial around her, but she can see the worry in his face nonetheless, and it worries her just as much. His doctor insists that the healing process takes time, and there's no telling how much, but it's been over a month and he still can't see a thing.
His mother is concerned too, she's kept her promise about visiting every week, but Rachel doesn't mind at all, she loves Carole, and the feeling appears to be totally mutual. And today while Finn is away at the doctor Carole joins Rachel in her ritualistic baking, making a chocolate pie for Finn to come from his doctor's appointment to. "okay you're going to add the cream to the saucepan gradually and stir, just keep stirring."
"You know I was never much of a baker, but I must say this is quite nice Rachel." Carole says as she follows Rachel's instructions.
"I've always found baking to be very soothing," Rachel explains. "The only time I'm not unbearably high strung is when I'm whipping together something sweet and comforting." She won't admit to Carole just yet is the only other time is when she's with Finn.
"Finn just loves your little treats," Carole says warmly. "He's always raving about them."
"Really? That's so sweet," Rachel says, blushing a little.
"I wasn't supposed to say anything but I don't think my son has ever felt this way about a girl before, it's so nice seeing him this happy."
"I love seeing Finn happy too," Rachel agrees. "I know he's worried about his condition, he doesn't like to talk about it but I can see it. If I can do anything to help him through it I'm happy to."
"Oh honey, you really must think I was born yesterday don't you?" Carole teases.
"I don't follow," Rachel replies.
"Everything you're doing for Finn, it's not just you trying to brighten up an injured man's day, it's love sweetie."
Love? Rachel thinks silently to herself, she has to admit it doesn't sound completely off base, in fact it sounds almost accurate, okay, completely accurate.
"Is it that obvious?" Rachel says her cheeks growing hot.
"It's all over your face," Carole says. "Or half of it, honey I hate to sound like a broken record but I really wish you wouldn't hide behind your hair like that." before Rachel can stop her Carole has moved her long bangs to the side, and as Carole takes in the sight of her scarred visage, Rachel's body freezes in terror. After a split second Rachel combs her hair back down over her face, and Carole's hand reaches her mouth, her eyes going wide in surprise.
"Oh Rachel," Carole says sympathetically. "What happened sweetheart?" Rachel doesn't answer right away, she turns her back toward Carole, hanging her head in shame.
"It was a terrible car accident," Rachel starts "One of the girls from this show I was in was driving us to Jersey to have dinner with her family, I dropped my iPod in back so I unbuckled my seatbelt to find it and a truck rear ended us. My friend was fine but I went right through the windshield. I was lucky to be alive but it came away from it looking like this."
Rachel realizes now that she's crying, and Carole comes up behind her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Finn doesn't know," Rachel continues, wiping at her tears. "I'm so afraid to tell him."
"Honey you can't keep something like this from him, what if-
"His sight comes back?" Rachel finishes. "I hope it does, I really do, you have to believe that, but I just... I can't. He's going to be so mad that I kept this from him, and I can't lose him Carole. You're right, I love your son, and I wish that I could be the beautiful girl that he deserves but I can't."
At that Rachel dissolves into tears and turns to hug her boyfriend's kind, sympathetic mother, who hugs her back without hesitation.
"Rachel, you're exactly what my son deserves," Carole says, rubbing Rachel's back in wide circles. "You're a kind, wonderful girl that loves him."
"But I lied to him," Rachel says.
"He'll understand," Carole insists. "Do you know how I know?"
"How," Rachel says, wiping her tears.
"Because he loves you too."
"You really think so?" Rachel says with a weak smile.
"A mother knows these things," Carole says with a wink. "Now what do you say we finish this pie, and when Finn comes home you can have a nice little sit down with him?"
Rachel breathes deeply, trying to calm herself for long enough to get into the mindset required to tell Finn the truth. And she nods once, prompting Carole to give her hand an encouraging squeeze before returning to her pie-making duties.
When Kurt arrives home with Finn the state of her hair is the only clue he needs to know that Carole has been clued in, they all knew it was only a matter of time, luckily she agreed to leave the truth telling up to Rachel.
"How was your appointment?" Rachel says as Finn enters the room, but the look on his face doesn't suggest anything good, he looks more sullen than she's ever seen him, and he doesn't even comment on the fact that the whole apartment smells like chocolate.
"it was fine," he says dourly. "Mom, Kurt's going to drive you back to the airport I just need to be alone for awhile."
And before any of them can say anything Finn has disappeared into Kurt's room, shutting all of them out.
He stays locked in Kurt's room for the rest of the day, not even leaving to hug his mother goodbye, and Rachel truly wishes she knew what to do, she tries offering him pie, he rejects the offer, Finn never rejects baked goods courtesy of Rachel. She asks him if he wants to talk about it, he says he doesn't, and he's still locked in Kurt's room if only Kurt wasn't staying at Blaine's tonight, maybe he could do a better job of forcing Finn out of his room.
It isn't until well after midnight that Finn finally leaves the room to use the bathroom, presumably because he figures Rachel would have turned in by now, but while she usually goes to bed early, tonight is an exception as she stays up late waiting for Finn to finally leave the room. She waits for him to exit the bathroom before she tries approaching him, but the combination of grogginess and blindness doesn't allow either of them to get very far before he trips on Kurt's magazine rack.
"God I told him not to move anything," Finn fumes in frustration, Rachel doesn't say anything about the fact that it's in the same place it always was, she simply kneels down to help him up.
"Come on Finn let me-
"I can do it myself!" he yells, interrupting her and yanking his arm away. And Rachel takes a step back, swallowing the tears that have formed in her throat at his hostile, very un Finn-like behavior.
"Rach," he says after a few silent moments, his voice softening. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you, you didn't do anything wrong okay?"
"It's alright," she says, her voice breaking a bit.
"I'm just so sick of her saying that everything looks normal and I'm making terrific progress, if I'm making such terrific progress why am I still like this?"
She kneels by his side again, placing a hand on his shoulder, and it's a little upsetting to both of them that he's gotten so used to being blind that he doesn't need to be warned anymore.
"I'm just really scared Rachel," he continues. "I don't want to be stuck this way, I want to see... I want to see you."
"I want you to see me too," she says in almost a whisper, cupping his face with her hand, and he leans into it as she wipes away a stray tear with her thumb. She knows this isn't the time to tell him, that he's already upset, but she means it, she wants him to see her, she wants to know that he accepts and loves her every bit as much as she accepts and loves him. But for now she thinks it's enough that he knows just how much she feels for him. She leans in then, attaching her lips to his in a kiss that makes everything seem a lot less awful, and he deepens it, finding her waist with his hands and pulling her closer to him, until their bodies are perfectly entwined.
"Wait," Finn says huskily into her mouth as she begins to undo the buttons on his shirt. "This is really happening isn't it?"
"You know, I think so," she teases, kissing him again.
"Cool," he chuckles as they stand up and begin to back their way into Rachel's room, kissing deeply and passionately, not stopping even as they collapse onto her bed, removing clothes until there's nothing left but the two of them skin to skin, and making out as if each others mouths are their only source of oxygen.
"Finn, before we do this, there's something I have to tell you," she says as he starts to cover her neck and bare shoulder with soft kisses, her heart pounding the whole time.
"There's something I have to tell you too," he replies.
"You first," she says.
"okay," he says, exhaling sharply. "I know it's only been a month, but I just, I feel like I've known you forever, like I can tell you anything and you'll always understand, and you're just so smart and talented and fun to be with and well..."
He trails off then, and Rachel badly wishes he would finish, because nobody has ever said something that sweet to her before.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is..." he starts again after an eternity. "I love you Rachel."
And she knows, right then that she has to tell him, she can't go on like this, lying to the man that she loves, the man who loves her, the man who has always made her feel beautiful in a way she never knew she could feel anymore, but before she can say anything else she has to tell him that she loves him too."
"I love you" she says, choked up with happy tears, and before she can continue he kisses her again, sending her confession to the back of her mind, there's no way she's going to ruin this moment.
she kisses him back, on his lips and his face, and he kisses her everywhere his mouth can reach, his inability to see making it hard for him to land his kisses in any specific place, but she doesn't mind at all, he can kiss her anywhere he wants, and he does, moving his lips down the span of her slender, naked body, over her collarbones and firm breasts and the smooth expanse of her tummy, and the soft sensitive area right below her belly button, and as he tortures her slowly with his mouth she realizes she can't take anymore, she needs him inside, and now. Silently she guides him back up, meeting her lips with his once again, and she opens her legs around him then, letting him dive into her without another thought, and as he fills her she lets out a soft sigh, filled with emotion and love for this man.
"You're everything, you're perfect," he pants as he continues to rock and grind against her, creating that irresistible friction between them that threatens to send her over the edge with each movement and they.
"I love you," she replies breathlessly after what feels like an eternity of exquisite torture "So much."
"I love you, too." he grunts as they ride the wave together, reaching that perfect moment together, unraveling against each other completely.
They fall asleep together then exhausted from their activities. In the morning she'll tell him everything, but right now she lays blissfully in his arms, her head filled with happy thoughts and pleasant dreams.
"Rachel?"
"Good morning Finn," she says groggily before falling instantly to sleep again.
"Rachel wake up," he says, his voice excited as he begins to shake her a little.
"huh, wha-" she starts, disoriented and only half awake. She blinks a little as she sits up, looking across her bed at Finn, and it only takes her a moment to realize he's looking back at her, for the first time his eyes aren't unfocused, they're looking right at her, and he squints as he reaches for her face, his hands touching her lips.
"Finn?" she says, confused, not understanding exactly what's going on.
"It's you," he says, a beaming smile on his face "I mean, you're blurry, and gray, but it's you."
Her heart seizes at the declaration, and a smile reaches her lips too. "Are you saying..."
"My eyes," he finishes "they're coming back."
Stay tuned folks!