Disclaimer: The characters, much of the dialogue, and sadly, even the plot are not mine; they all belong to Eoin Colfer.

Pages: 87 – 103 (with flashbacks to 75 through 83)

Chapter 5: Unpleasant Memories

"There is a relatively simple solution to our problem."

Simple. Right. Just like it always was. Honestly, only Artemis Fowl would refer to a strategy involving going back in time to change the past as a 'relatively simple solution.' Yet Artemis was going to get his way, as he always did.

Holly stared out the window of Angeline Fowl's bedroom, out over the extensive grounds of Fowl Manor, the meandering gravel drive surrounded by tall trees and a stone wall beyond, all glowing orange in the fading evening light, as they waited for Nº1's ship to situate itself around back.

She kept her breathing even and steady in the consuming silence.

She had the most peculiar sensation; her thoughts were racing, pressing out against the inside of her skull as though there were too many for her head to contain. Yet at the same time her mind felt empty, as though the incoherency of her thoughts made them have no substance. In the silence, she could not stop the words of the last half-hour replaying themselves in her head, snatches of their conversation. But she was still unable to think, to form proper responses to them.

"You have already interfered, Holly."

She could see those cold, angry mismatched eyes staring at her, filled with nothing but hard certainty, of truth.

"You healed my mother. Healed her and damned her." The accusations had kept pouring from his mouth like water from a broken dam, unstoppable, tearing through their friendship as quickly and easily as a steel ball through a glass panel, leaving painful cutting shards scattered everywhere in its wake. "You healed my mother after the siege. You must have given her Spelltropy."

"But I'm clean," she had tried to plead, tone defensive despite the sudden plunging sensation in her stomach. "I was tested."

"Then you must be a carrier." Not a moment of hesitation. A conviction so powerful it could not be refuted.

Back then, she could not think to respond, could not fight. While Foaly had tried unsuccessfully to argue her case, all she could do was stand there in silence. Now that that awful scene was over and it had been decided for certain what they would proceed to do, she found herself falling back into that cold, deadened sense of being.

"I can't— I just can't— "

Holly's breathing sped up slightly, but then she controlled it again, not taking her eyes off the window, yet she saw nothing of the enormous grounds of Artemis Fowl's impressive estate.

Even though Artemis had already left the room, having gone down to meet Nº1, the image of him sitting by his mother's bedside holding his mother's wasted hand still burned in her eyes, etched in her mind.

She hadn't intended to tell him about what had happened to her, but it had been out before she could help it. Her mother had died, poisoned by humans. At the time, she had wanted to hunt every last one of them down. She hated them. And that was precisely why she had known, at that moment, that she must understand what he felt better than anyone.

Yet Artemis, vindictive criminal mastermind that he was, had surprised her.

"I don't hate you. Of course none of this is your fault."

A much kinder and more understanding response than her own had been. If Holly's magic, back from that time when she had restored Angeline from her growing depression and mental instability, was really the cause of her disease now, of course Holly hadn't done it intentionally. In fact, she'd been trying to help. But then, her mother's death hadn't been intentional either.

Holly slowly pushed herself up from the wall beside the window, eyes still on the sky outside, tinted a savage, burning orange-red by the setting sun.

One thing was clear: Angeline was not dead yet. If she died, there would be no going back. Artemis still held out some hope, and so he was able to be magnanimous for now, but if his mother really died because of her, then—logical or not—that was surely the one thing he would never be able to forgive. But, on the other hand, if Angeline was saved...

Holly stood at the window for a long time, not moving an inch. She had no choice. If there was a way to save Angeline Fowl, she could not let it pass. No matter what they had to risk in the process, she had to go for it.

In a way, she was relieved. The burden of deciding to let Angeline pass on because time was simply too dangerous to be playing games with had been almost too much to bear. She preferred to take action, try to save everyone. That was what she had done at Hybras, and that was what she would do now, and always.

A voice from the nearby monitors brought Holly out of her thoughts.

"We are doing the right thing, I suppose. Letting Artemis go through with this crazy scheme."

Holly turned to look at one of the glowing screens projecting Foaly's face.

"Not much choice, is there," Holly replied brusquely, turning back to the window.

Foaly eyed her, mouth turned down with something like concern.

"We don't know it was you, you know," he said. "I think Artemis jumped the gun a bit on that one. I admitted it was possible, but all things considered, it's pretty unlikely. He claims you're the last one to use magic on his mother, but after all these years, he can't know that for certain. And if I'm understanding this right, his mother's brains would be more scrambled than a pan of Mud Man fried eggs if not for you. You don't owe him a thing."

"Does it really matter in the end?" Holly asked. "If we can stop the disease, we have no option but to try. It's like Artemis says: we don't want to go through that horror again. Besides, no offense to your genius-self of course, old friend, but when have your theories ever won out over Artemis's?"

Foaly frowned. "Thanks a lot." He paused, his expression turning a touch more serious. "Look, Holly, I know how you feel. And Artemis is a clever Mud Boy, I'll give him that, and he could have a point. But he's also desperate right now. He would do anything, say anything. He wants to save his mother. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but we need to be doing what's best for the People, not just a couple of humans."

Holly stared back at him for a long moment, eyes steely with determination. At last she said evenly, "We have to get the cure for Spelltropy. That's what the People need, Foaly. Artemis's plan is the best chance we've got."

Foaly was quiet for a bit, and he studied Holly's expression carefully. At last he sighed deeply and slumped. "Don't think I don't know that. That's the only reason I'm going along with this insanity right now myself. But don't forget, you were dead right when you said his plans wreak havoc, and this has 'veritable fiasco waiting to happen' written all over it. Remember, the last time you followed one of his plans you left and didn't come back for three years. If things go wrong, this could turn into another Hybras. Let's say Nº1 actually succeeds and sends you back to the past—what if you can't get back? Have you ever thought of that?"

Holly had far from forgotten Hybras and she felt a chill down her spine, but she forced it from her mind. "We'll just have to make sure that doesn't happen," she said, with considerably more confidence than she felt. "Besides, if we hadn't gone with Artemis's plan that time, the demons of Hybras would probably be dead or put on display as spectacles for human entertainment by now."

Foaly didn't have a reply to that, so he said nothing.

Holly turned from the screen. "I think I'm going to go meet up with Artemis and Nº1," she said.

As she started across the room toward the door, for a moment her eyes fell on the bed where Angeline Fowl lay, still gasping desperately for breath as though the room did not contain enough oxygen, her thin, skeletal frame like that of a corpse.

Holly looked quickly away, but the image was still clear in her mind as she stepped out of the room into the hall.

"You are in luck, Artemis," said Nº1 cheerfully, once they were all assembled in Artemis's study. "I did a module on time travel last week for the warlock diploma course I'm taking."

"Small class, I bet." Now that it seemed certain things were going to go the way Artemis wanted, he seemed more relaxed.

There was some argument over whether Nº1 would accompany them on their journey, Artemis for, Foaly against, until at last Nº1 settled the matter by explaining that, as a matter of necessity, he had to remain behind to act as a beacon to make certain Holly and Artemis returned to the right time and place. Artemis had no choice but to give in.

"How long will it take to weave the spell?" Artemis asked, checking his Rolex watch.

Nº1 considered. "About as long as it takes you two to remove your clothing."

Holly, who had been doing a routine systems check on her Neutrino, stopped what she was doing and looked up. Artemis made some unintelligible noise from the back of his throat and Holly swore.

I didn't sign up for this, she thought.

Clearly on the same wavelength, at the same time Holly slowly circled around to one side, Artemis circled around to the other, preparing for a two-pronged attack.

"Why do we need to take our clothes off?" Artemis said in a low, dangerous voice.

"That is a very good question," said Holly, hands still wrapped around her gun.

Nº1's good humor was unaffected by the imminent danger closing in on him. "It's quite simple," he said happily. "I am not so skilled as Qwan. And even with Qwan overseeing the last transfer, you two managed to switch an eye each, which was probably because someone was focusing on stealing magic. If you take clothes or guns in there, they could become a part of you. Lesson number one of time transfers: Keep it simple."

Holly could feel a headache coming on. She couldn't quite look at Artemis. As if going back in time and risking the entire future wasn't anxiety enough.

The room was silent for about ten seconds before at last Nº1 added, throwing them a lifeline, "I suppose you could keep one small garment, but make sure it's your color, because you could be wearing it a really long time."

Right, thought Holly, face aflame as she began tearing off her Shimmer Suit. Deadly diseases, extinct lemurs, illegal time-hopping, and underwear. This is going to be our most heroic operation yet.

Holly kept the one-piece, the waterproof, flame-resistant material she wore under her usual LEP-issue Shimmer Suit for extra protection and comfort. She supposed it was more like a swimsuit than real underwear, but it was the principle of the thing.

Holly folded her arms across her chest as Artemis took her suit and gear to lock up for safekeeping. As soon as he left the room, Foaly gave her a look with raised eyebrows, as though to say, See? I told you what happens when you follow his crazy schemes. Holly glowered back.

Not a minute later, Artemis was back and he took off his own suit, gingerly placing it in the wardrobe. When he turned back to the group, he was dressed only in a pair of red Armani boxer shorts. Maybe the one-piece wasn't so bad after all.

They stood in the center of the room as Nº1 explained the rules of time travel. He did some calculations and determined they had three days maximum to get back.

It was good to know, though they shouldn't need three days. In and out, zip back to the past, nab the lemur, and come right back. That was the plan.

Well, Holly thought with sarcastic cheer, that'll be one less anxiety. Instead of constantly worrying about missing the deadline, we'll know exactly when we've missed it.

A corona of sparking red magic enveloped Nº1's small frame as he readied himself to perform the transfer. His eyes glowed red, electric jolts of blinding magic sparked from his horns, yet despite his fearsome appearance his voice sounded oddly normal as he instructed, "Now, hold hands."

We've reached an all new low, Holly thought as, turning her head away, she reluctantly stuck her hand out and Artemis lightly took it. Here they were, standing in Artemis's personal study in their underwear, holding hands like elementary school children playing some kind of warped game. Maybe she was just giddy, but she couldn't help but remember that old song Mud Men children used to sing, as they held hands and danced around in a circle. Ring around the rosie, pocket full of posies. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.

Maybe if they failed to get the lemur, soon everyone would be singing the song.

Holly forced herself to focus. There's no room for pessimism now, Short. Your mission is to get the lemur, save Artemis's mother and the rest of the People. Artemis, not to mention every fairy in the Lower Elements, is counting on you.

Nº1's magic was amping up and they were nearly ready to go. However, just before the magic flung them into the time stream, Nº1 got an uncharacteristically wicked gleam in his eye.

"I now pronounce you..."

Before Holly could finish mentally forming even one of the string of forthcoming threats, she and Artemis were gone.

Unlike the last time they had traveled through the stream, which had been an overall pleasant experience, it felt to Holly like the time stream was absorbing their current emotional states and reflecting all the tight worry and distress back at them. The most miserable experiences of the entire world during those intervening years they passed through seemed to hone in on them, attracted by their own personal plight.

Holly's sharp, awful memories of her mother's death, so near the surface ever since she had learned of Artemis's mother's situation, were called savagely to the forefront of her mind. In a moment she felt she would lose herself, that the overwhelming pain of it all would make her spirit disintegrate right here and blow away like dust in the wind.

And what would it matter if she existed or not, she found herself wondering vaguely. So much death in the world, so much suffering, more than she could have ever imagined. Her mother was dead. Her commander was dead. She could not stop the suffering of a single one of these creatures she sensed in the time around her. Holly Short was just the name of a person who had already died once, the world clearly did not need her. What would it matter...

Focus, Holly, came Artemis's voice, cutting through the vague uncertainty of the formless world around them. Remember who you are and why we are here.

And she did hold onto herself, her will. Barely.

When they finally landed, Holly was for a moment still completely consumed by the emotions of the time tunnel. Still fresh in her mind were the faraway memories of her mother, and tears sprung up in her eyes. For just an instant, she felt completely and utterly alone.

The chiming of a nearby clock roused her, and it didn't take long for everything to come rushing back again. She got up unsteadily, looking around at the strange, yet familiar surroundings of Artemis's study, still a bit disoriented.

The study looked about the same as it would in eight years time, but it seemed more tidy somehow. No, tidy was not the word—it took her a moment to realize that what she was noticing was that, in this time, there was nothing sitting out on the desks. Everything was shut away, the room guarding its secrets more carefully and suspiciously than that of the Artemis of the present. Speaking of Artemis...

She noticed him heading toward the wardrobe, walking a bit jerkily as though his legs, like hers, were not yet ready to fully obey him.

She still didn't feel quite herself after the journey through the stream, but she grinned a bit when she saw him. After they had emerged from the time stream, she had almost forgotten he was there.

"You have really let yourself go," she said, amusement playing on her face as she eyed his now long, scraggly dark hair and his definitely taller, lankier frame. Obviously something had not gone exactly right when they had been rematerialized on this side.

But Artemis did not seem to be listening as he looked impatiently through his clothes, muttering how nothing would fit.

Holly pushed her way past him, for some reason feeling in a much better mood. "Not for me," said said, reaching in and pulling out the smallest outfit she could find—an expensive, crisp black suit, naturally.

"My first suit," Artemis commented, glancing at it. "For the family Christmas postcard. I had no idea really how to wear it..."

Holly listened to his reminiscing as she held the hanger up to her, examining how close the suit's height was to her own as she ripped off the wrapping. "So long as it fits."

Artemis suddenly frowned. "What do you mean, I have let myself go?" he asked. When Artemis saw himself in the mirror, long dark hair falling to his shoulders, sandpaper-like bristles covering his chin, and tall, willowy frame looming a few inches higher than usual, he said calmly, "Ah I see."

"I'm surprised you do," Holly returned smartly. "Through all that hair."

Artemis did not appear to care particularly. "Accelerated aging," he guessed dismissively. "A side effect of the time stream. When we return, the effects should be reversed."

Holly wondered if it would really matter much if Artemis went back to normal or not, though. Certainly it would feel odd to him, suddenly being in a new body, but it appeared to her as though Artemis had grown to the age he was supposed to be had he not missed three years while off saving demons in limbo. If he was stuck like that, he would be the correct age according to his birth certificate, which would be convenient. Although, it might be troublesome to have to come up with some lie for his parents again about why he wasn't the age they expected.

Artemis's eyes flickered suddenly, and Holly noticed he was peering at her reflection standing next to his in the door mirror with something like interest, as though seeing her for the first time.

Holly nervously kept the suit held in front of her and hoped this didn't have anything to do with adolescence, though something about the expression on his face, specifically like she was a mildly interesting specimen in a lab experiment, did not seem to jibe with that interpretation.

"Perhaps you should check yourself in the mirror," he observed airily. "I am not the only one to have changed."

When Holly forced him aside so she could get a better look at herself, she fully expected Artemis to chuckle at her for falling for such an obvious trick, but her amusement was quickly extinguished.

"I am young," she said in disbelief. "Younger."

"Don't be upset," said Artemis, as little perturbed by Holly's transformation as his own. "It is temporary. All this is nothing more than dress-up."

But Holly couldn't be as casual and relaxed about it as Artemis. She was exactly as she had been all those years before when her mother had died, and her physical appearance only seemed to bring those memories closer. Back then she had still been in what humans would call their 'teen years.'

An adolescent once again. Just like Artemis.

But there was no time to think about any of that now. They had a mission to complete, and once it was finished they would go back to their own time before she had time to think about how unsettling a thought that was.

Holly put on Artemis's suit. Though Artemis commented that there wasn't really any need to dress, Holly noticed that hadn't stopped him from donning the old tracksuit he had found in a box on top of the wardrobe, which apparently had been worn by one of his parents at some point.

Holly put on the silver wig Artemis had thrown to her to cover her pointed ears and they each slipped on a pair of shoes they had found before the two of them settled in to wait.

The plan was fairly straight-forward. First, they would hole up in the study for a bit. Butler would come and slide the lemur's cage through the doorway without coming in as he and the younger Artemis dealt with a hysterical Angeline Fowl, who was now threatening to call the police on her own son, her mental instability having escalated so that she didn't recognize him. Then they would take the lemur and return to their own time. Simple.

Holly glanced at Artemis standing next to her. This must be a terrible memory to relive, she thought. The moment when, for the first time, his own mother did not know who he was. Artemis had always loved his parents more than anything. Back at the height of his glory as a heartless criminal mastermind, it had been his one redeeming quality.

Luckily, they wouldn't be here for long. They'd get the lemur, and get back to the present.

If only things ever went according to plan.

A/N: For those who don't know already, 'Ring around the Rosie' is a song that has been claimed to have originated during the Middle Ages in reference to the Black Death plague. Supposedly, rosie is a substance carried around to ward off evil, and ashes are supposed to refer to the cremation process of the infected ones' bodies (though there are other known explanations of those two things as well), while the 'falling down' line refers to the victims' inevitable death. Yeah, pretty creepy interpretation to put on a children's song. Though I've also read that all that's just a myth that came about after the song. Then again, Holly's only eighty, so she probably wouldn't know either way. (;

Thank you so much for the reviews last chapter! I'm so grateful for your encouragement. If you like, please leave a comment and tell me what you think. (:

June 2014: I edited over this chapter some, including adding a bit more to that middle scene, since I think it was too clipped before. (I almost ended up cutting out the 'ring and around the rosie' bit for flow purposes, but ultimately I decided to leave it in, since I think maybe that was the most memorable part of this chapter. I got a surprisingly lot of response about it anyway, lol.) There's really nothing new about this scene from the original TTP, which is why I tried to cut it down before, but thinking about it some more, I decided it was significant enough in its own way that it should be in there.

Posted 10/7/12, reposted 9/30/14