Chapter 2

Florescent Tides, You're Mine Tonight

Lucy settled in a booth outside of Starbucks. Ian had ducked into the bathroom, and they had just come from the doctor, who had confirmed she was, in fact pregnant. She was just about five weeks along by her own recollection, but he had set her up for a sonogram in a few days just to be absolutely sure.

She took a long breath and lifted her coffee up to her lips. She was grateful that she hadn't had any aversions to it. Coffee was her lifeline as much as it was Ian's.

Her phone buzzed on the table. She smiled, seeing a picture of she and Holly light up on it. She picked it up and brought it up to her ear.

"Hey!" She spoke cheerfully.

"Hey, goose! How're you and rookie today? The boy said he was going to call me after your appointment."

Lucy chuckled. "We're good. Just came from the doctor, who confirmed things." She spoke tentatively, not wanting to say anything incase there were photographers or reporters around. The last thing she and Ian wanted was to end up on the cover of some web page or magazine.

"Glad to hear it," Holly said back.

Lucy smiled, moving her straw in her drink. She took a deep breath and turned to watch as cars breezed past her. "Can I just ask you one thing?" "Of course, goose."

"Why didn't you ever say anything? About Ian's feelings?"

She heard Holly sigh on the other end of the line.

"I thought that would be easiest for you to figure out, sweetie. It wasn't my place to say anything. I knew Ian would when he was ready. I knew he loved you, and that he didn't want to hurt you by telling you that when you weren't ready to hear it."

"It just seems it was unfair to him," Lucy said softly.

"Well the boy did get to kiss you quite a few times in the last two years, so I imagine he wasn't as sad as he could've been," Holly said with a laugh.

Lucy chuckled. Holly was right.

"Don't beat yourself up over it, darlin. What's done is done, and what matters is that you are together. Just enjoy yourself. I've got to- Finley!"

Before Holly finished her sentence, the line clicked dead, and Lucy couldn't help but laugh. She pulled her phone away from her ear and placed it on the table. Ian walked out a moment later, carrying his own cup.

Lucy stood from her seat and walked over to him, tucking her phone into the pocket of her black skinny jeans. She slipped her hand into Ian's as she walked over to him. He laced his fingers between hers, leaning down to kiss her as they walked towards the end of the block.

"You want to go home?" Lucy shook her head. "Let's just walk for a while. Something tells me I'm gonna miss it when I can't see my feet anymore."

Ian cackled, shaking his head at her. They walked up to the end of the block and then stopped, waiting for traffic to come to a stop.

"Holly called right before you came out," Lucy told him. "She said you promised to call right after the appointment." Ian nodded. "It was eight-thirty when we left, and by the time we got out of that appointment, I was dying for caffeine."

Lucy giggled. They both had been up since just after eight, but Ian still looked like he'd just woken up. "Caffiene. Mmm. I'm gonna miss that."

The light turned green and they both crossed the street.

"Start drinking chai tea. It's heaven."

Lucy giggled, moving into him. She slipped her arm around him under his unbuttoned jacket. Ian wrapped his arm around her shoulders and rubbed his hand up and down her bicep.

"That's only because you live at starbucks," she teased.

Ian gaped at her, feigning mock horror. "I do not! I live to breathe caffeine!"

Lucy just giggled at him as they continued to walk. As cheerful as she was to be returning to work in a few days, she knew that occasions like this would become are and few between over the next few months. God knew that there was a chance that when they went on break in a few months, she probably wouldn't be able to see her feet again.

Eventually they stopped walking as they came upon a park. Lucy watched as kids charged across the park at their parents, and chasing after each other. She couldn't help but giggle. The idea of being able to see Ian with a baby that was her own child in a mere few months crushed down upon her like an iron weight, and she couldn't help but love it.

"How could I have been so blind," she murmured as she settled into his lap on a bench.

Ian shook his head, rubbing his hand up and down her back. "Don't beat yourself up over the past. I tend to believe if things don't happen at a certain point and time, it's because we're not ready for them at the time."

Lucy giggled and shook her head at him, resting her forehead against his. "How can you be so positive about this when I was so blind to it all?"

Ian shrugged. "You're here now."

She rolled her eyes and lifted her head up, pushing his face away from her as they both laughed.

"You're so corny," she said with a laugh. "You should write love songs with all those cheesy ideas."

"Maybe I'll do just that," he said mid-giggle.

-
And the words you want are out of reach
But they've never been so loud
-

Lucy yawned as she laid back on her bed. She had opted to go home for the night, feeling as if she'd been neglectful of Jack lately. She hated being away from him with all the press she'd had to do, and she knew in her heart, Jack was her first baby.

She patted the bed and he hopped up next to her, resting his chin on her leg. She chuckled and scratched the top of his head. "You ready to be an older brother, Jacky?" He yapped softly and Lucy chuckled.

Annie came to lean against the doorway, holding Jack in her arms. Lucy looked up at her and smiled.

"Look, Jack! It's Jack!"

Jack popped up and turned on the bed as Annie walked over to the bed. "Victoria asked me to baby sit while she ran out and did some shopping. You up for some practice." "Of course!" Lucy said giddily. She loved babies. She used to day dream all the time about what it would be like to have a baby, five or so years down the road. She never expected that, on the edge of twenty three, she'd be pregnant. Then again, she never expected that she'd be the kind of girl who spent forever looking for what was right in front of her face. It had occurred to her a lot lately; how many times had she told Ian about Alex or some other guy, and how they had hurt her. How she just wanted to find the right guy. How she always believed she would just know when she had met that guy. Yet, all along, he had been right in front of her face.

She leaned forward and cradled her arms as Annie leaned forward to placed baby Jack in her arms. Lucy chuckled as he cooed up at her and shifted slightly in her arms.

"Hi, sweetie! Aren't you cute today?"

She chuckled as he grasped her index finger in his hand and squeezed. She looked up at Annie.

"I can't believe you and Ian are having a baby. It still feels so…I don't know," she murmured.

Lucy smiled. "I couldn't believe it until this morning when the doctor actually did the blood test. I mean, I know I saw the stick turn blue and everything but…" She shook her head, looking back down at Jack.

"Do you know when they're doing your first sonogram?"

Lucy shrugged, looking back up at Annie. "Some time next week. It's transvaginal though, so I'm less than excited," she murmured. "There's just something about that that just doesn't seem right to me."

Annie chuckled, shaking her head. "Do you want me to have Victoria call you? I'm sure she can talk you down from a panic attack." "I might just take you up on that," Lucy said with a chuckle. She let out a long sigh and looked up at Annie.

"So what's really on your mind?" Annie asked. "I mean I know you're happy, but I can tell that you're more than happy."

Lucy shrugged. "Part of me is so ecstatic, because I couldn't imagine picking someone better to have a baby with. The other half of me is kicking myself though. I wish we had dated. I wish we had spent a few years together as Lucy and Ian. I wish we were at least engaged." "Do you want to get married right now?" Annie asked her.

Lucy shook her head. "Not now. It wouldn't feel right. It would feel forced." Tears filled her eyes, regardless of how much she didn't want to feel weak or stupid. "I just don't want this baby to feel like we didn't want it."

"Sweetie, I know you are going to love that baby with everything inside of you, and so is Ian. Everyone knows how much you two care about each other, and I highly doubt there's anything you two can do wrong when you team up. I mean, you've seen him with his nephew, right?"

Lucy nodded, reaching up to wipe away the tears in her eyes. She had seen Ian multiple times with Sarah's son. She knew how much Ian loved kids.

The sound of knocking traveled through the apartment and Annie pushed up from the bed.

"Wonder who that could be," she teased. Lucy chuckled and got up off the bed and followed her out of the room. She stood nearby as Annie walked up to the door and opened it. Ian stood in ront of them, holding up a grocery bag.

"I'm come bearing sweedish fish and sour straws." Lucy beamed at him. "Yum!"

Ian chuckled. "I even brought beggin strips for Jack."

"Did you hear that Jack?" Annie called to Lucy's bedroom. The malti-poo came charging down the hall as Ian pulled the bag of treats from the grocery bag.

Ian chuckled, kneeling down in front of him. Jack pushed up onto Ian's knee for leverage as he licked his chin. Ian chuckled, tearing the bag open.

"Guess what Jack," Ian teased in a whisper. "Its not real bacon!"

Jack barked at him and Ian tossed a strip across the floor. Jack went charging after it and then pinned it under is paws as he leaned down to gnaw on it. Ian stood up and settled the bag of treats on the table, picking up the grocery bag as well. He smiled at Lucy and then looked down at baby Jack.

"This is your sister's baby," he asked to Annie, brushing his knuckles against Jack's hair.

Annie nodded. "Baby Jack. I've gotta run and meet Claire at the nail salon. Would you mind…" She asked, turning to Lucy.

"Not at all," Lucy insisted. "Besides, I know you totally set me up." Annie giggled. "Of course I did." She leaned over and kissed Jack's forehead and then hugged Lucy lightly and waved to Ian. "I'll be back in an hour or so."

She leaned over and grabbed her purse off the counter and then headed out of the apartment while Lucy carried a now sleeping Jack over to the couch and sat down, adjusting him slightly in her arms. Ian followed her over, pulling up the large foot stool that went with her chair and kicking his feet up onto it. Lucy shifted on the couch and Ian moved his arms, wrapping them around her as she laid up against him. He flipped through the channels on the TV until they finally settled on watching whatever movie was currently playing on lifetime. Neither of them was actually all that interested in watching the TV, but it was left on anyway.

For a while, they simply sat in each other's company, and Lucy watched Jack sleep while Ian watched the both of them. It was a sight that gave him an elated feeling.

"I like seeing you like this," he murmured softly into her ear.

"What?" she joked. "Tired?"

Ian shook his head. "With a baby, being all motherly."

"Motherly," Lucy repeated. The word felt weird inside her mouth. It almost seemed abstract. "That feels weird to say."

Ian chuckled. "You've got eight months to get used to it."

"Just in time to lose all my mid-day naps," she joked. "I have no idea how I'm going to get through the next few months."

"Lots and lots of willpower," Ian said.

Lucy chuckled, dropping her head back against his shoulder. Her life still felt so abstract to her. She kept waiting to wake up and find out that she was still with Chris, and hadn't in fact had Ian confess his true feelings to her. She expected to wake up and find out that she wasn't pregnant. That she was going to back to work next week, and nothing had changed.

But she knew that wasn't going to happen. And yet, she couldn't help but feel happier about it.