After Charlie shut the door he turned and looked at me. "What's wrong with you?"
I took a breath getting ready to tell him, but I stopped myself before I could. "Nothing. Long night. Im going to bed. Night dad." I said giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and heading up the stairs. Once I got into my room I closed the door and walked over to shut the window. I didn't want or need company tonight. I changed into my P.J's. and finished getting ready for bed. After I was done, I plopped myself down on the bed. I lied there for a minute just thinking about the day. I told them Bon Fires were a curse. I finally gathered the energy to pull myself off the bed and into it. I snuggled up with the covers, wishing I could just sleep forever.
The next morning I walked downstairs. Surprisingly, Charlie was there. He must have seen the shocked look on my face because he looked at me, smiled and chuckled a little. "Don't worry, im not here for the day, I just decided to take a late morning and spend it with my daughter, but I guess she decided not to get up till…oh 12 noon." he joked.
"Im sorry dad. Why didn't you just wake me?"
He waved me off. "Nah, you looked peaceful and I thought you should sleep. Maybe next time kiddo." He said. He gave me a kiss and went to grab is stuff.
"Well then how bout I make it up to you?"
He stopped what he was doing and looked up at me.
"How about dinner…say around 7? I will make fish fry and backed potatoes. Sound good?"
"Yea, that sounds amazing. Are you sure Bells?" he asked while getting ready.
I waved him off like he did me, and then smiled. "Yea dad. I feel like I haven't cooked in a while. It will be like a 'I missed you' with my cooking." I stated. We both laughed at how corny that sounded.
"Ok Bella. Thank you. I will be home around 7 then. Be careful." He said and then walked out the door. After he shut the door and walked to the table, sitting down with my head on my arms, on the table. The door opened and I looked up. "I forgot to tell you Bells, Sam called. He said to please call him. He sounded upset and kinda urgent. Is everything ok?" he asked with a hand on the door.
"Yea, its fine. I will call him later." I waved off. Charlie nodded and said goodbye one more time before walking out the door and leaving for the station. After I was done eating and washing out my bowl, I decided to go for a run. I went upstairs and changed into sweatpants and a red sports bra. I grabbed my iPod and cell phone and walked back into the kitchen. I put a bottle of water in the fridge for after I come back, and then I walked out the door. I started on my usual path. About an hour and 45 minutes later, I started to walk back home. It took me about 2 hours to walk back, but I didn't mind. The running helped me clear my head a little. I was mad and disappointed at what Sam said, but I figured out that I couldn't really blame him for feeling that way. I hurt him, by talking about my time away and for leaving. Of course, my anger was still at a boiling point. I was angry about how much trust and confidence he had in me. I was also so angry at the pack. I hated being treated like I was weak and breakable. That was something I surely was not. I opened the front door and grabbed my water bottle from the kitchen. I chugged pretty much all the water in the bottle within five minutes. Once I finished, I threw the bottle in the recycling. I then went over to the phone and checked the messages. '6 new messages.' The woman said. I was shocked at how many messages there were. I wasn't even gone that long and I missed 6 messages?
'First new message:' The lady said. "Bella, please we really need to talk, call me." Sam pleaded. I bit my bottom lip, but pressed delete.
'Next new message:' "Bella, I know you are mad but please call me. I….really want to explain." Sam said again.
I sighed and pressed delete again. I was guessing the next message was from Sam, but I was wrong. It was from Emily.
"Hey Bella, its Emily. Look, about the whole bonfire thing. Sam is really upset and wants to talk, just hear him out. I know what he said was wrong, but….just call him Bella. And I am also really sorry for treating you like you were…fragile. Call me." I shook my head. Emily was one of the few people I wasn't angry at. She is the one that helped me out when I needed the most. I made a mental note to call her as soon I was done listening to these messages. The next one was from Jake.
"Hey Bells, it's me. Look, we didn't mean to hurt you. I know what Sam said, and to be truthful I was angry at him. But I…I know that I was treating you wrong. I know that now. I'm also sorry for the way I acted by your house. I was a jerk. Call me when you get a chance. Love you bells, and just remember, no matter what, I am here for you." I smiled at his message. I guess I should call him too. After that were Leah and Seth (together) saying pretty much the same thing as Jake and Emily. They said they were sorry and to call them. Last but not least was Charlie. Crap. I thought. "Bella, honey it's me. Are you there?...I guess not. Well Sam said he has been trying to call a few times but you haven't picked up. Is everything ok? Give me a call at the station when you get this message." I sighed and began to dial the stations number.
"Forks Police Station" a man said.
"Hi, can I please talk to Charlie Swan?" I asked politely.
"May I ask who's calling?"
"Bella Swan." I said. I could hear someone in the background. I listened closer and heard Sam. Oh come on! I thought.
"I can take the phone for Charlie, Jeff. He is talking with someone."
"Are you sure?" I could hear the man names Jeff ask.
"Yea, don't worry. I know Bella…she is my umm…I got it thanks." He said trying to skip over what he was going to say. I thought about hanging up, but I thought that would be really rude. I guess my option at the moment was to demand for Charlie. I didn't really have the upper hand here, so I didn't know how this was going to work out.
"Bella?" Sam asked. I could hear the hopefulness in his voice and it made all the emotions I was trying to suppress come back. I took a deep breath in and answered.
"Sam." I said as curtly as possible. "Put Charlie on the phone…please." I said as nicely as I could get out at the moment.
"He is talking with someone right now."
"Ok, well then tell him I called please." I said almost hanging up.
"Bella please wait!" I heard him practically yell. I could only imagine the scene he was making at the station. I held the phone back to my ear.
"What?" I growled.
"I…we….I wanna talk to you…about what I said. I didn't mean…." Sam said.
"Look, I get what you said and I understand why you said it. It's fine. I…don't care. So once Charlie is done talking with whoever, please have him call me. See you around Sam." I said and then hung up. I looked at the phone and wondered to myself if I just did the right thing. I shook myself out of my thoughts and started to call up Emily. After about 2 rings she picked up.
"Hey Emily." I said
"Bella! Hey. You got my message?" she said.
"Yea I did, and look, im not mad at you. You are actually one of the few im not mad at."
"Really? Why?" she asked surprised.
"Because you're human. I mean, you are a normal human. You know what it feels like to be treated like you are breakable and you didn't treat me like I was fragile. You treated me how anyone else should have treated me. You didn't think I was weak and you helped me when I could barely help myself. I don't blame you for anything, so you shouldn't be sorry."
"What about the rest of the guys?" she asked.
"I…I don't know yet." I said honestly. "A part of me is furious with them. No matter how many times they say sorry or they will try to understand, they don't. They don't try and they are to pig headed to try and understand. Im furious because they think they need to shield me from the world when I already know how to shield myself. I don't like being treated like im weak. I don't want nor need to be protected…just loved."
"And the other part?" She asked.
"The other part of me just wants to go up to all of them and hug them. I guess I can understand how anxious they were when they cornered me by my house but…"
Emily cut me off, which was really unlike her. "They cornered you by your house?!"
"Yea, they all came from the woods and pretty much circled me. You didn't know?"
"No. I had no idea. They left the party, but I thought it was cause they had patrol or something."
So after that, I told her the whole story from when I was going home to now.
"Wow." Was all she said.
"Yea. I guess im just disappointed in them mostly." I concluded. I could hear Emily stay silent, telling me to keep going. "I mean, the look on their faces was so…distrusting. I mean, I flat out promised Sam and Jake that I wouldn't leave again. And I ever was to leave, I would tell them before I left. I promised I would give them a heads up. And it's not like I would leave again anyways!" I said venting to Emily.
"Look Bells. What they did is wrong, but forgive and forget right? I know it's hard, but you lost some of their trust when you left. They all love you, we all do and when you left, we all lost something…and someone. We lost this spark among us. It was like our spark of life. Their was no longer true happiness…just…being happy. It wasn't fun and we didn't have any life in us, it seemed. To have you back, it was like a dream I guess. Within seconds, life was brought back to us. It was like living in color again. I guess the boys, especially Sam are afraid of leaving again. A part of them still believes you will leave no matter how many promises you make. The way you talked about when you were gone, just worried them. But like I said. That doesn't excuse them from what they did by your house."
I nodded. "Thanks Em. I will talk to you later."
"Anytime Bells." She said and then hung up. I thought about calling Jake but decided that I would go over there instead. I was about to walk out the door until I noticed what I was wearing. I quickly ran upstairs and put a shirt over my sports bra. I figured I would shower when I got home and then make dinner for Charlie. I walked outside and hopped onto my bike heading to Jakes.