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~VXLP
"Where are you Lord to protect me from these urges/ Oh I fee it is coming, he devil is inside me I can't resist it anymore. Is inside me, I feel him everywhere surging through my veins. Release me from this hell
~"Yes to God: Part II" by Anonymous
1552, December 12th
Richmond Palace:
The court had been transferred to the older palace walls of Richmond deep in the old country. Annie smelled the fresh air of the gardens, she felt full and she had not touched her plate for there was no need to when there was life growing within her, consuming her. She let herself be consumed by it. There was a child growing in her, feeding from her. Edward's child. She touched her seemingly empty stomach, it was flat but it would not take long before it was filled with a lively creature, a son to bring Edward and England hope.
Hope.
She had not heard that word in a long time. She nearly forgot the meaning of the word, it had been as foreign as the languages her father was reluctant to let her Aunt teach her. She was young and curious and she wanted to possess all the knowledge and skills that would befit a true Queen of England, as Edward Consort she had to be as knowledgable, she could not afford to appear weak or less educated and competent than his so called loyal men in his privy council.
"Your breasts are fuller Annie" Pipa said, she was allowed to be blunt because she was the Queen's friend, and they'd played together as children, they were practically sisters. Isabella frowned at the level of comfort her sister displayed around her "friend". Such display of emotion should be forbidden. The Lady Philippa was a servant and did not have the same status of blood as they. Her sister should know better than to break through those divisions that had been the only solution and so far managed to put order to the chaos that their country had been victim of when Stephen I stole the throne from the legitimate heir, Empress Matilda. Centuries of old tradition could not be eliminated simply because a queen believes it should.
The level of discontent in Isabella's face was evident but none of her companions heeded it. They were more concern, as usual, to what their queen had to say for herself that she was an expecting mother -at last.
She and Edward had shared a bed almost every night when he was not exhausted from work or late from his council meeting, albeit his visits had become so rare under the excuse that he was busy, God knew the young couple tried. And it seemed that now, after days of eternal wait for their miracle to come, God had answered their prayers. "Patience is a virute" Mama Jane -as Annie and others of her maids affectionately called her- said when Annie had come desperate to her for any advice that could get her pregnant in no time. Jane was a strong advocate of virtue and penitence, she said that these two were the greatest gifts a woman could have and being young she and Edward did not have to worry about begetting a child. Jane was sure Annie would be with child in no time. It had been no secret the old queen was dying, and when her eyes were closed for an eternal asleep, all of England who were of the old faith mourned including her much reformist son, Edward. Annie shared a few tears, but found herself feeling distant at her mother in law's funeral. Strange, it was as if some alien influence possessed her and kept Annie from feeling anything, but after the ceremony had ended Annie's eyes filled with tears she let down when she was alone in the presence of her husband.
So many -Edward had said- of the people that started this great reign of his father's had died, and now they were truly alone with the fate of the entire nation in their hands.
Annie returned her attention to Pipa. She was looking intently at her mistress for any sign of mischief. Annie smirked, a twinkle appeared in her eyes and she winked at all of her ladies including her boring sister Isabella.
"Comes with the cleavage, some women have it some not" She pointed out pushing her growing breasts a little up causing many of the women to giggle and some of the more conservative ones, daughters of Catholics lords, to look away afraid they would be contaminated by her bad behavior.
"You are impossible" Pipa said shaking her head joining the others in laughter.
They continued jesting and probing on their queen for names she and Edward had chosen for their child. They all saw the child as a son, and Annie did so too. Only one lady had the benefit of the doubt. Isabella would not be too sure about boasting about the gender of the child until she made sure it was a boy. Her sister was arrogant beyond a doubt, but there was something in that arrogance, maybe it was her boldness that made Bella admire her and (secretly) wanting to be like her. She wanted to have what she and Edward had, she stayed this long because she wanted to learn from them to improve on her own marriage but the sad truth was Annie did not trust her. She saw her as a spy. And she had good reasons for it but Bella was not a spy, she did not report to her mother as frequent as did her older sibling Harry, and when she did she always invented stuff so her family would be two steps behind in their plot to harm her sister.
But none of what she did worked in her favor, Alexei saw her as a traitor too and when they were together he fantasized about Annie, even called her by her full name in their wedding night. It was pathetic, she was for fooling herself she could make Alexei love her and for defending a sister that wanted nothing to do with her.
She wondered why do I even bother? Everything I say or do only works to make me feel more of an idiot next to oh little miss perfect Annie Chapuys.
Annie lifted her skirts and bent down to pick one of the many flowers in the palace gardens. A rose they saw, a red rose, the Tudor symbol for love, honor, blood, and fertility. She held it close to her flat stomach. "A new age has come, the age of freedom." she said her words no short than poetic, they all bent down their heads as in prayer. They were forseeing a great future for the Prince forming in her womb, they could feel its power emanating from her already. Pipa thought it was ridiculous but it was her friend's way of playing with the others mind to see who were truly loyal to her. With the Chapuys rising so far into power it was hard to tell who was really ruling the country. The Dudleys were slowly falling out of favor, after the Dowager Queen died nobody wanted to be associated with the Earl of Northumbeland and for good reason Edward had looked to Annie and to the Chapuys for comfort. It was only a matter of time before the clash of swords began, Isabella foresaw.
Pipa said to Annie that her behavior would not be tolerated once the Prince was born. "Edward will keep you on a hard leash you know that. Everyone will expect you to act motherly and be the perfect example for the Protestant community"
Annie snorted waving her hand dismissively at her friend. "Ah Pipa honest as always." Her friend chuckled, so did the rest of her ladies. "I will be what I will be, Edward knows that and I have already done enough to exemplify the Protestant ideal of a good wife. Haven't I done enough preaching the true gospels in the churches, giving alms to the power, giving as the bible teaches us: love and understanding?"
"Yes, but the Protestant bible specifically wrote about giving love instead of charity, the latter was for the Catholics. They gave alms only as a means for asking favors lately, we are not like they"
"Aye my friend but how different are we, don't we worship God?" She questioned turning to the rest of her ladies.
They shook their heads and look uncertain whether to answer or agree, their Queen often did this, asked tricky questions and selected one of them to step forward and ask her honest opinion. You could not lie to Anne Elizabeth Tudor, she knew when you were, and when she picked Isabella the others who did not like her at all gave a short sight of relief, and started whispering among one another what punishment their companion would get when she answered the Queen's question wrong. Because they were sure, she would answer wrong, being a daughter of the ultra conservative Catholic Mary they could expect no less.
"Majesty" Isabella with the same dignity as her mother addressed Annie and gave a low bow. Pipa was displeased she could tell by the sound of her breathing, for not looking directly into Her Majesty's eyes, but for someone as Isabella, she had been taught looking at someone directly in the eye was disrespectful and dangerous. Eyes are the window of the soul -and she did not want Anne's prying eyes looking into her soul, not that she would find anything (useful), there was nothing there except sadness and regret.
"Tell me what would you do if you say had a person dying of hunger and if that person was a Catholic and did not want to accept your love?" Annie questioned her gaze penetrating her sister's gaze as she forced Bella's chin with her two middle fingers to look up. Green blue eyes met cold blue.
Isabella steeled herself as Annie and responded with the same gracious tone -"I would give that person charity, I would give him or her love no matter what after all Jesus taught us to forgive and to help thy neighbor, and it is the first commandment to love God above all things" Is it not? -she wanted to add but kept her mouth shut, and her lips pressed together forming a very thin line that twisted itself into a deformed smile.
Annie chuckled and the rest chuckled with her. She patted her sister's shoulder and congratulated her for her response, but the test was not over yet, Bella could feel there was more to come. Annie cleared her throat and as a thought came to mind when she heard the galloping of horses outside the palace signaling her husband's arrival, she quickly asked "And what if he were a Protestant who wanted no charity, simply love and understanding, would you give him alms as well if he did not want anything from you?"
"I would because it is God's first commandment that we should love him above all things, and to love God we have to love they neighbors and preach the gospel of Christ"
"But Christ never wrote any gospel" Annie pointed out.
"But he left disciples, he left Peter his name means rock, the rock on where he would set on the true faith -"
Annie interrupted not glad to be proven wrong by anyone, especially one of Mary's brood. In her mind she no longer considered herself Mary Tudor's daughter, the woman who mistreated her and wanted to see her death, but Elizabeth's. Her Aunt had been a true mother who did not push her children for the sake of ambition, and her father unlike Isabella's was a man whose father had never owned great land, held titles or was the bearer of great power. Everything that her father owned had been through hard work and the common people of England saw that and admired him for it, they looked up to her and that made her mother angry because even IF by a stroke of chance her twin were to ascend to the throne, nobody would accept him. Not the people, not the nobles, nobody and the Emperor had his own wars to fight abroad he could no more but to give empty promises like he'd always done through his ambassadors to Mary.
"I do not think you should regard Peter as the bearer of true faith, true Jesus said you are the rock on which my faith will set, however rock does not mean solidity and the bible can be interpreted in many ways, if the Catholic Church were to take everything seriously they would not have a vicar and rely on faith simply. However and I tell this to my Protestant friends, faith alone does not account for miracles. Ordinary men pray for miracles and wait for help to fall down the sky, true men of faith fight for them."
"And women?" Isabella could not resist and ask. She did not care if the King were to come now, she thought hearing the heavy footsteps of his soldiers. She simply wanted an answer from her sister, one that did not involve a long sermon or a haughty behavior.
"Women are the neck of men, without us there would be no men and no prophets, we are the bearers of faith, otherwise why would men seek to protect us so from the devil's influence? We are weak and frail in our bodies, but we are powerful enough that God chooses us to bear the greater pains and sorrows that men cannot bare, we are more sensible to the Lord and the devil. That makes us unique" Anne said crossly giving her sister smirk before turning to her emergent husband who called her name.
Annie's eyes shined in triumphed, she glowed with the sun shining brightly above her head forming an invisible halo. Isabella envied her. Any woman looked terribly swollen in the first month of pregnancy in her upper body, but Anne glowed with each passing day that she showed off her pregnancy.
"Sweetheart" Edward greeted his wife with a powerful embrace but he was very careful not to harm their unborn Prince.
"How is my child today?" He asked setting his hands on her yet flat stomach.
"Sleeping inside me, I dream about him constantly, he will be a great King someday" She said enchanted by Edward's eyes that were glowing with pride as he imagined the Prince Annie described from her dreams. Her father told him not grow too cocky, who knew if it was really a Prince she was waiting for? Annie paid no heed to her father's warnings, he was paranoid as was to be expected from a former Ambassador. Annie had all she needed, why she should not have this taste of her much earned triumph?
He lifted his hands and twined them around her neck, it was such an unusual touch of affection to see between both monarchs. One as cold and harsh as his father, Edward VI, and firm and tough to her adversaries as Anne )but who showed herself cheerful and thoughtful to everyone for the sake of her public image), it was odd indeed Bella observed.
She mentally imagined herself in Anne's place, not as Queen but a loved public figure as her. Alexei will never love me.
When he'd heard of her sister's pregnancy he had throw a fit, the first time she had seen him loosing control. He was always a reserved man, very humble, very simple but he made it clear that he did not love his wife and he looked toward other women who could remind him of Anne. Isabella lived the life of a spinster, serving others but herself.
"I hope he has your eyes and my strong physique and my firmness" he boasted knowing full well that he did not possess any of those qualities he'd just mentioned.
Annie smiled openly and kissed his cheeks "He will, its only been about two months, perhaps a little more give or take but I can feel him moving at times"
"A fighter like his father" Edward observed and then added "and his mother"
Harry looked to the window of his parents' chambers. They were out for the day and he was left all alone with his younger sister, Katherine. Kathy -as he called her -was playing with her dolls and writing poetry as usual. Harry was the only one that played with her, since she thought at times that her father's attention to her was too overbearing. Harry thought so too. His father was a worldly man who thought only about himself and by extension of that his children, and hardly knew how to keep his emotions in check like Eustace Chapuys or his only son and heir, Henry.
He smirked. Poor sister -he thought- she still thinks that by serving Annie she will gain her favor and love and affection she is not getting from her husband. Harry pitied her, as far as he could tell his sister was naive and too simple for his taste. She had always sought to pleasure others instead and never looked to her own needs like the rest of her family. Pity.
With every look Edward gave Annie, Harry grew sicker and sicker. Such display of emotion was to say the least pathetic and not befitting a true monarch, what this country needed was true leadership from a strong, and decisive person not a weak King who God knew everyone was aware his wife was not all she pretended to be.
He stepped away from the shameful sight and looked toward his youngest sister. She brought life to her dolls and played with them. He took a seat in the floor next to her. He did not notice the letters she had addressed to their youngest cousin were sitting so close next to him. All his attention was centered on her. "What are you playing now Kathy?" He asked affectionately.
Katherine looked at her brother and handed one small cup of wood made by one of the servants at Hundson just for her, for her dolls so she would not have to pretend anymore with invisible cups of tea.
It was so small, it almost fell from his fingers, it was an excellent craftsmanship, Harry noted. "And this?" He asked with a raised eyebrow knowing the answer already.
"For you" she said smiling "you play with me, this is Kathy like me, and this is Mary like mama" She showed off both her dolls to Harry and explained who was who and how they behaved so he would know how to play. "You will be the page boy and I will be Kathy the Princess, and Mary mama will be the Queen"
He chuckled "And what makes you think I will agree to such insult?"
She grinned and lifted her chin proudly "Because I said so" She said simply.
Harry smiled and set the tea cup on the floor and arranged everything to make it look like they dolls were having tea. He liked Kathy above all the rest, she understood him and she had a strong character that would rival their mother's and Annie's someday. She was not as weak and naive like Bella. "You Master Harry now serve me tea" She commanded and he happily obliged.
She did not look a thing like the rest of their siblings, but she was the more beautiful of the lot, a charmer he thought when she grew up if she was not one, glancing back at the letters and looking them curiously, already.
Kathy returned his attention tapping her dolls feet on the ground to their game. "Play!"
He gave her a sheepish grin "Sorry Your Highness did not realize I had such an attentive mistress"
Kathy giggled and pressed her lips together and thrust them forward sending and invisible kiss to him. "A reward for being a gentleman"
"And my reward to you Your Highness" he said still in character leaning forward and kissing her nose.
They played other games like hide and seek, Harry hated games like that, he loved challenges and he was impatient with these silly games but his sister's smile was so irresistible as Annie's was to her subjects.
"Found you!" Kathy pointed her finger opening the doors of their mother's wardrobe. They arranged all her clothes knowing how her mother was very strict when it came to her clothing. She got upset over the littlest things lately, though if she were to discover they messed some of her best shoes she would not mind as it was Katherine and Harry, her favorite children.
He brought his sister and all her toys and writing materials to her chambers. Edward VI had been "nice" to give them the largest chambers (after the Chapuys of course) in the castle. Kathy's was very reduced in comparison to his but he let her sleep when she was afraid of the dark in his, and he would tell her stories and let her finish when she would whine she did not like the ending. She hated sad ending she would say. There were no limits to his sister's imagination, she was one of a kind and once he snatched the letters from her hand, he smirked and his smile only broadened as he realized the big secret his charming sister had kept all along.
"Harry give it back! Give it back! Those are mine!" She whined jumping as he held them up, reading them aloud.
"Look sister our cousin even signed his names in little hearts!" He said laughing amusingly.
Katherine crossed her arms against her chest. Now he was going to tell their parents and they would not let her write back to George. They did not understand, she loved writing to George.
Interesting -Harry thought as a wicked idea crossed his mind. If his sister were to start with her first target, how long it would be before the Chapuys fell thanks to that stupid boy of their, George?
He gave them back to Kathy who turned her back on him with a loud huff. He knelt and put his arms around her hugging her, and rocking her like the ten year old child she was. "Tell me Kathy if I were to help you would you still be mad at me?"
Kathy looked at him in surprise. He was not going to tell then? Harry knew what went through her mind and shook his head vigorously. "I would never tell on my little sister, but you must listen to me very carefully, I know you want to help George and you care about him don't you?"
"I guess" she said innocently.
"Then let me help you, let me give you ideas"
"For what"
"To bring him closer to you, enchant him with your words Kathy, you have that beautiful smile that will turn you into a goddess someday, imagine if George were to fall for you, a second son yes but if he were to become first?"
Kathy's eyes gleamed. "Me and George would be together then and they would not laugh at him anymore"
"Exactly."