Disclaimer: Said it once, I don't own anything, the characters own themselves and all other rights go to Showtime and Michael Hirst.
A/N: Enjoy, the chapter everyone has been waiting for comes at last.
"Just going to stand there and watch me burn
but that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just going to stand there and hear me cry
that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I can't tell you what it really is,
I can only tell you what it feels like
and right now there is a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight all I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight
High off of love, drunk from my hate
It's like I'm fucking paint and I love her
The more I suffer, I suffocate
Right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates
Me, she fucking hates me and I love it.
Wait!
Where you going? I'm leaving you.
No you ain't. Come back. We're running right back
Here we go again, it's so insane
'Cause when it's going good, it's going great
I'm Superman with the wind in his back
She's Lois Lane, but when it's bad, it's awful
I feel so ashamed, I snapped, "Who's that dude?"
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength
Just going to stand there and watch me burn
but that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just going to stand there and hear me cry
that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
You ever love somebody so much,
you could barely breathe when you with 'em?
You meet, and neither one of you even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah, them chills, used to get 'em
Now you getting fucking sick of looking at them
You swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothing to hurt them
Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit them
You push, pull each other's hair, scratch, claw, bit them
Throw them down, pin them, so lost in the moments when you're with them
It's the fate that took over, it controls you both
So they say, you're best to go your separate ways.
Guess that they don't know you 'cause today,
That was yesterday, yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playing over
But you promised her, next time you'd show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game, but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it "window pane"
Just going to stand there and watch me burn
but that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just going to stand there and hear me cry
that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is
You're the same as me when it comes to love you're just as blinded
Baby, please come back, it wasn't you, Baby, it was me.
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time? There won't be no next time
I apologize, even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games, I just want her back. I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again,
I am going to tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
I'm just gonna
Just going to stand there and watch me burn
but that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just going to stand there and hear me cry
that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie"
~Rihanna & Eminem "Love the way you lie"
1553, June 6th.
Greenwich:
Queen Annie sulked in her chair. For the last months she had been confined to her bedchamber ready for the birth of Edward's heir; Edward had taken it as a precaution to ensure she and the child both survived. The child, who was due any day now. She hoped it wouldn't cause her too much trouble.
Annie sighed, this wasn't how she envisioned her married life.
She sat up straight turning to the window. It had stopped raining and it was now sunny. She was hardly allowed to rise from bed, go for a stroll on the gardens, or even wonder in her rooms without company. There were always people around, and she hated it, she felt suffocated.
One maid was with her, she could hear the in deep conversation about the latest court gossip. If she would not be so heavy with child, she would run up to them and tell them to spend better their time, pick up a book, poetry or the bible she did not care but at least do something productive instead of laughing like morons!
Philippa or Pippa as Annie called her looked to her mistress, seeing the look of discomfort she asked "Are you alright Majesty?"
She waved a hand dismissively. She was in no mood to spark a conversation with Pippa right now. She brought her hand to her stomach, she could feel the child moving inside her. It had gotten very big, she could already see a bright future for this child, her little hunter.
They had been discussing names, but Edward was very adamant when it came to naming the child, HIS child he said. He did not want to name it after a pagan god or more likely something that brought to mind the old religion. Annie thought he was being ridiculous with this obsession of his to purify the country.
Pippa returned to her reading, she should have known better than to question Annie when she was having another one of her unpredictable mood swings. She was no longer offended by the way her mistress dirty glanced at her. Pregnancy did strange things to women, and men if they were close enough to their wives as Edward was to Annie.
Annie allowed herself a smile. At least Pippa wasn't another one of those mindless ladies of hers who spent their noses prying on other people's business. The young woman kept her nose stuck in books that were also of Annie's interests. They read everything from the bible (it didn't matter what language it was written -the word of God was universal -and she disagreed on how Protestants and Catholics alike wanted to impose their own version on their subjects) to religious readings of every kind, ancient Greek and Roman philosophers, and Annie's personal favorites, the humanist texts.
Her father had always called her a scholar, she loved to think that she was but recently George had taken her title. The boy with high skills in math, other sciences and theology was becoming a walking library. He made Aunt Bess very proud, and it made her very proud as well to have such a smart young man as her brother, who was smarter than half the men in her husband's parliament. Annie never told her father but she had great ambitions for George, she and Edward had discussed a possible marriage proposal for the young lad that could put an end to hundreds of years of bloodshed between England and their neighboring country.
Just then a sharp pain came through her mid section. She gasped leaning forward, and clutching her swollen belly with both hands.
Her maid jumped hearing her mistress' distress call, putting the book aside she walked to Annie. "My Lady?" Pippa asked.
No sound came from Annie's mouth. Tears welled in her eyes as she looked up at Pippa. Her maid knew what to do, she ran out of the room and found the rest of her companions playing cards, completely oblivious to what was going on with their mistress.
Pippa wanted to scold them but she gave them instead a look that made them shrunk away from her. "You there!" She screamed at the youngest girl in their service."Yes you girl! Whatever your name is go to the King and inform them Her Majesty has gone into labor" Everyone looked at each other in shock, they knew the day was coming soon but they did not expected to be today. Pippa ignored them and watched the girl go to do her errand. Then she tuned to Isabella, the Queen's half sister whose gaze was kept down. "All of you come with me and you MyLady fetch the doctor and the midwives right away tell them they are needed. NOW MyLady"
Lady Isabella ran faster than her younger companion who just arrived to the King's study, to find the royal physician and the midwives to help deliver her sister. She wanted to cause a good impression on her uncle and her sister, she wanted to let them know that she wasn't anything like her family and that they could trust her.
The rest of Annie's ladies were with her tearing linen sheets, making bandages just in case things got worse, doing their best to help the queen get through this rough time. They were all mentally praying for a Prince, they could not help but wish that their mistress' hard labor and her love for the King would pay off, and God grant her a son to keep her and England safe.
In and out. Annie told herself. In and out. She was holding back the urge to scream, she would not show weakness to these strangers. She felt her ladies' cold hands holding her back, she wanted to hit them, including Pippa for not letting her stand up to leave. If she was back at Hatfield, married to a lower noble just as her mother would love to see her married to, she would not have to live through this embarrassment, surrounded by people she didn't know whether to trust, their cold hands restraining her. None of them loved her, they cared more about the baby inside her than their mistress. There were times when she came to regret her baby, where she envied her and wished
"Ahh!" She could not hold it any longer, it was a pain beyond what she had imagined.
"Your Majesty must push!" Pippa bellowed at her mistress. Annie cried harder, her screams were widely heard but fell on deaf ears as her maids kept begging her to push, they were all more worried about the child she carried than her welfare.
That cut her deep, the way they were looking at her, pleading her not to give up for the child. Its life was moer important than hers. For a moment Annie did not want to push, she wanted to languish in her pain, to join her ancestors in heaven along with the child as a final revenge to these people, but just then as another pain stung her she felt her child slither away and she did not know why but she finally started to listen to what the midwives, the physician, and her ladies were telling her, and pushed.
Their faces became hopeful but Annie hardly saw them, only she and the child existed, she could feel the life within her child beginning to expire. No, no, I will not let you die. It did not make the pain any easier to bear. She could lose her life, and the thought of never seeing her father again or Edward terrified her, but she had to keep herself strong for the child.
After an hour that seemed to the inhabitants attending the queen, an eternity the child was born.
"Well what is it?" She managed to say, albeit it was barely heard as she was out of breath, her limbs relaxed but her whole self weak. She could barely lift herself up, Pippa and two others including her sister helped her sit up with her back straight propped against the pillows.
The midwife did not say nothing, her face was grim as were many of the ladies not knowing whether to tell her or not. Annie became scared when she did not hear her baby cry. "Is it ..." she brought a hand to her mouth. No, she would not bare it. Until now she had not realized how much like her mother she had been, blaming all her pain and boredom on her child, her innocent child. It was with God now, the thought did not make her feel better.
She sniffed and looked down. Isabella looked at Pippa who glared at the midwives and the ladies. She would deal with the whole lot later.
She heard someone clear its throat.
"Your Majesty" It was the physician. Annie did not want to hear this man's condolences, she was already in too much pain, but something in the man's voice, kindness made her look up. Her brow became furrowed when she made eye contact with him. His eyes were gleaming and he had a smile on his face.
"What?"
He motioned for the midwife holding her dead child to bring it to her. Annie looked away, she did not want to be haunted by the face of her child's specter. "No" But Pippa cupped her face and forced her to look.
She screamed, but it was not a scream of sadness but a scream of sheer joy. Shock rang through her as she realized that the looks of disappointment were not because she had born a dead baby, but because she had been born a healthy baby girl.
God be praised. She took the baby from the midwife's arms roughly and began rocking the crying child gently. She did not like being screamed at, and Annie quickly apologized though she knew her daughter would not understand anything she was saying.
"Hello" She said weakly, she let out a hiccup followed by a small tear that fell from her eye, soon more followed and fell on the baby's cheek. The baby merely giggled and lifted her arms, curious at the woman whose eyes were the same as hers.
"Hello" she repeated more softer now. The baby wiggled and her arms extended out to her. She shed tears for her daughter's first cries, she was calling to her mama and so small, so frail she could not help but feel touched by this moment that was cut short by her husband.
"I don't play villains, I play very interesting people"
~Alan Rickman (That is right I said it! go watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part II. He gives the best performance!)
He cleared his throat calling for everyone's attention. His men were behind them, among them Annie's father and eldest brother. "I am so sorry" She said holding her daughter, wiping her tears with a clean tissue Pippa gave her.
Edward cleared his throat again, he had trouble breathing. A moment of silence that seemed to go on forever was broken by her father, Eustace Chapuys who recognize the hurt in his daughter's eyes. "The child is healthy a son will soon follow Your Majesty, we must rejoice that God has given you a healthy child. It is a sign of good will and Her Majesty has proven she is fertile and capable of delivering children" Indeed, all of the privy council members thought, just how capable though? Would she share the same faults as her mother, her grandmother, and all the great women of Castile? They had been extremely fertile but all of their sons had been as short lived as their married lives.
Edward found the courage to speak, he locked eyes with his wife and doing something completely unexpected he curtsied at her and asked for her well being and their child's.
"She is fine Your Majesty" She said. Edward took a good look at her, she was dressed in a clean nightgown, her eyes were sparkling for tears of joy he guessed she'd seen her baby. Her hair was in a long braid with flower pins on either side. She looked beautiful as the day he'd married her, but she had traces of anxiety, there were bags underneath her eyes. She was exhausted and the midwives he'd been told, had offered to take the child from her arms so she could rest but she refused.
Exactly like her father would have done if he was in her shoes. They were both paranoid, and didn't trust anyone.
There was, Edward also saw, traces of fear in her light gray eyes. She was afraid of him and why she shouldn't be? She had failed in the same area her grandmother did, if she did not thread carefully terrible things would befall her and her loved ones.
Edward walked to where his wife and child were and saw his daughter for the first time. She was beautiful but had little traces of Annie, she was HIS daughter, in fact if it wasn't for her eyes you would not be able to tell she was Annie's child.
He extended his arms, Annie was uncertain if she should. What if he dropped her? What if he gave her to her father, he was sick and not strong enough to carry her, his legs could barely carry him! Edward's fingers moved, his voice became firm. "My daughter" Annie looked at her father and her brother who gave a quick nod, and then to Edward. Carefully she placed the child in his hands.
His daughter was wrapped in clean blankets, they had taken every precaution to prevent any harm to come for her as if they would if she had been born a Prince. He sat next to his wife, his grip around the child softened and he began to rock her. He was glad for her eyes, they were enchanting as her mother's but her appearance told him she was definitely a Seymour and a Tudor. She did not have the wavy, semi-curly red hair of his wife or any other Tudor for that matter, she had his blond hair he'd inherited from his mother. A pair of light gray orbs that were the same as Annie and the rest of the Chapuys' but they were not almond shaped. She was fair skinned but not pale as he, overall he was happy to see they had made a beautiful creature. Chapuys, Seymour and Tudor. A fine breed, he thought smiling. "If we can have a healthy daughter, we can have a healthy son we are young still"
Annie watched her husband and daughter interact. Was this how he would always be?, she wondered. Was this how he acted when Anne Boleyn told him of her failure? What he said was the same thing his father said to her predecessor? Was this what her grandmother felt when she failed to give the king what he wanted, like Anne, a son?
Annie did not want to think of it no more. She pushed her insecurities to the darkest corners of her mind and focused on the present. Her husband loved her, she had a throne, a family, a child who despite of her sex was loved by the king and would be by all the people once they were told she had birthed a healthy offspring. She did not have anything to worry, as Edward said, they were young and they had many years ahead of him, sons would follow.
Eustace turned to his son Anthony who breathed a sigh in relief at the same time as his father and Annie. Though they could not hear it, they knew by they looks they gave each other that Edward was leaning forward to Annie's ear to congratulate her. It was so obvious now that the King would never leave Annie, and that he honestly believed as his father did so many times with his first wives, that sons would follow.
Such disappointment, Dudley thought, his tutors should have raised him better. He had taught that boy to use his head, and here he was playing the fool for his little bastard wife's sake. He and the rest of the party congratulated the King on the new arrival, even Cranmer who felt disappointed at the birth. "It is a sign Your Majesty if I may" he said to Annie.
"You may" Annie said forcefully letting herself be adulated by these men, especially Cranmer who'd been the chief architect behind her mother's misery, the reason why she had been transformed by the sweet and innocent girl her father and so many others fell in love with, to the cold, heartless monster she was now.
Cranmer knew that this "Queen" had no love for her, but for her husband's sake she tolerated him. He was the Church of England, without him Edward's reformation would crumble. There were cracks in the King's reform that needed to be immediately fixed or else they would go back to the old ways, and Cranmer like so many men who had gained prominence under the new regime could not afford that. He understood that a complete reformation in England was impossible, so he had made concessions with the King of England and other moderates, among them Cecil -Bess Chapuy's secretary and the Queen's right hand man- and the own Bess Chapuys to sustain the Church of England. He did not like it and he thought he verged on heresy and asked God's forgiveness each time, but for the greater good sacrifices had to be made. He had done a sin by not cleansing all corruption from the Church of England, it should be free from outside's influences, but the people were not ready (yet) to give up many of their old customs. It was one step at a time. When the next generations came they would be accustomed to the new church as some of them were getting accustomed to already, and forget that there ever was another church. If Thomas had to risk his soul for the sake of it then so be it, he solely believed that this cause outweigh all the others and in years to come he would be recognized as the martyr for the true church. All he had to do now was play with the devil herself for his safety and the safety of his church's sake.
"God is making space for your next child to come, a Prince will be born to you in no time." He finished bowing deeply to her.
Annie turned back to her husband whose eyes moved to her to Cranmer. Annie would not say a thank you to that man, but Edward's firm gaze would not leave her alone until she did.
"Thank you Archbishop" She and moved on to the next courtier and the next until she was finished hearing how thankful they were for their new arrival, she could see they had been well trained to hide their disappointment. Henry was not here, but if he was he probably would not contain himself, smirking at her failure.
Once her mother knew Annie was sure the entire Bavarian Tudors would be in rejoice, Isabella would make sure of that. She didn't trust that sniveling fool, not for one bit. She did not swallow her whole 'I am just a poor yadda, yadda,' act. She was like the rest of her family.
"Everyone may leave" Edward said but looked sharply at members of her family. At his request he ordered one of her ladies to bring her Aunt. When it was just the six of them, seven with the newborn Princess who began to wiggle in her father's grasp her eyes pleading with her mama to take her, Edward handed his Princess back to Annie and gave Eustace a poignant look.
"What now?" He asked meaning those courtiers that were likely planning to overthrow him. His father had dealt with the whole lot swiftly without any remorse. He wondered if he was capable of doing the same. He would not have to worry if he had a son instead of his pretty daughter, to keep England safe.
"You will have to call all the important Earls, Dukes, and landowners and make them sign a pledge of allegiance. The Act of Uniformity" Eustace said talking faster so there would be no "royal" interruption "is not enough I am afraid. You must turn them against each other, united they are strong, difficult. Separated they are nothing. They owe their rise and fortunes to you, if they truly care about their heirs and their inheritance, they will not strike you, but should that thought cross your minds" he added silkily "you should remind them what the consequences of their disobedience are"
Edward nodded, it was the first time and the first of many he knew he would do so to his father in law. Eustace was a man of peace, a cunning and conniving man who would do anything to stop a war, even sell his soul to the devil if that were his last resource. The idea of making everyone sign another document was not his idea alone but his sister's Bess. She was the true mastermind behind this plan, he would congratulate her later for doing the impossible -taming the wild, outspoken Savoyard to complete submission.
However the Savoyard was not without independent thought and completely submissive to his wife as he initially thought as he glared at his wife, stopping her before she could speak her thoughts. He refused to be her puppet, he missed the days where he was the puppeteer and not the other way around, but for his marriage's sake and Anne's, he let Bess pull the strings since she knew better about English government than he did. As far as he considered, the players were his wife and her family, he was simply a silent observer.
"I would suggest you act immediately and make concessions."
Elizabeth widened her eyes, Edward knit his eyebrows and Annie gawked at him. He could not be serious? Favors in this time of crisis? When Spain and the Holy Roman Empire were threatening to invade? , No, her father had lost his mind.
It took Edward a while to see his father in law's point. He smiled at the former ambassador, he walked up to him and gave him a powerful embrace. "Eustace, Eustace ..." He said chuckling patting his back "you are either a naive idealist, or a power hungry politician. Which I can't decide"
"Mind telling me what my husband told you brother?"
"Ah Bess" He turned to her "Your husband just had the most brilliant idea"
Bess crossed her arms against her chest, she hated being left out. "And mind you what is that "brilliant" idea?" She asked raising an eyebrow.
"Your husband or rather His Grace the Duke of Sicily gave me a powerful solution. If we can't trust our courtiers we should give them incentives to stay loyal"
Bess' mouth twisted into a wicked smile, she shook her head at her brother's naivety. "The courtiers are not to be trusted, our father knew how to deal with them" That was why they could never get to him, their father took care of every threat before it became too great. Innocents were murdered for the sake of his security and his loved ones. Annie remembered those dark days where you could not whisper or talk freely without looking behind your shoulder for fear of being stabbed or denounced on a made up crime.
Nobody was safe -it was the first thing she'd learned at her grandfather's court. You could not trust anyone there, with Edward there was little difference, but the ambient was a more lively one, and they intended to keep it that way. All this talk and plotting had upset her greatly, and her daughter sensing her discomfort began to whimper. Annie rocked her and softly spoke to her. Too little to understand her but soothed by her voice, she squirmed closer to her and buried her head in her bosom. Her daughter closed her eyes and became still, Annie continued to rock her just in case she should wake up.
Edward on cue lowered his voice and turned back to his sister and her husband. "The nobles are powerful because of me, they are rich because of the true religion, if they decide to change their allegiances they loose everything, what I give I can easily take, if I give them something small Bess it reminds them of everything they have yet to gain with me"
"Of they might think you are too soft" she countered. "You can't trust them Edward, they should be dealt with as soon as possible, father would have done so-"
"Father is not here" He interrupted,"I am King not he" He reminded, his tone told her the conversation was finished.
"Your Grace have you been to Sicily, actually stayed there?"
"I have been to the Imperial Court"
Edward advanced to Eustace and gave him a menacing look, it did not scare him, he had dealt with fearsome and powerful giants before. Nothing scared him. "You know your courtiers there, you kept correspondence with them" It was not a question.
Eustace nodded, he had expected the King would monitor his correspondence. He had done the same with his own spies.
"How soon can you have your troops scour the country and bring their best men to England?" He asked, deadly serious, a plan forming in his head. It was vital, he needed his help, England did not stand a chance against the rest of Catholic Europe, but if he were to convince Eustace and Annie's alleged German father to turn their troops in his favor, it might.
"Weeks maybe less, it all depends if the Emperor has not foreseen this, which I am sure he has or at least suspect you are planning something"
"Then write a letter to men you are sure you, that is we, can trust and send your best guard here." He said and touched his father in law's shoulders. "Congratulations Excellency you just became my best man"
Elizabeth smiled. She shared a look of triumph with him. What he never wanted had happened, and it was all thanks to her and Annie, even if he claimed he did not want any of this, Bess saw that beneath all that humility he felt proud. They were now the first family in England, and the people looked up to him. He was a symbol of hope, an example for every commoner. If a man humble as he could rise to the highest rank, there was hope for the common folk. It made them subservient to Edward's rule despite the older generations distaste for the new religion.
"Your Majesty" Eustace curtsied and motioned to Bess, Anthony, and George to do the same.
"Alone at last" Edward said. Annie made space in the bed for him to sit. She handed him their daughter with caution. She looked so frail, but he knew she was not. She enjoyed great health and would live many years, unlike he who felt his days were numbered. Every day he woke up he gave thanks to God. He considered every day a miracle, life itself was and that he had birthed a strong and beautiful (albeit) daughter was a sign that the Lord favored him.
"Yes, alone" Annie repeated watching Edward carefully handling their daughter. "What shall we call her? We did not finish that conversation"
"No we did not" he said smirking as his daughter began to wiggle, she was going to be a handful. Though she did not open her eyes, he could tell he was curious by what her parents were saying, she moved her head from side to side whenever they spoke.
"Elizabeth? It is my Aunt's name, the name of our founding mother, and my second name. Her milk and honey complexion suits her" Edward thought about it for a moment but then shook his head. There were too many Elizabeths already. She was his firstborn, he wanted her to have a special name. After going over many more English and familiar names, Annie grew frustrated. She rolled her eyes and raised her voice, only a little so she would not disturb their sleeping child "What then?"
Edward handed their unnamed Princess. "Jane, she looks like my mother and me, or" he said quickly seeing Annie did not like the suggestion, probably because it would upset his sister "Margaret after the founder of the Tudor dynasty"
"No too common, there are many Janes and Margarets as well"
Now it was Edward's turn to throw his arms in the air in frustration. "We've gone through all the names? We can't keep calling her Princess"
"She is a Princess" Said Annie pointing the obvious.
"Annie"
"Fine, how about ..." she thought long and hard. A name came to her mind, she looked wearily at Edward doubting he would agree but it was worth a try. What did she have to loose?
"What?" Asked Edward with arms against his chest.
Her eyes opened and stared widely at Annie, she was relaxed in her arms. Her mouth was a large 'o'. It suits her. It was the perfect name. "Diana" After the huntress and chaste Roman Goddess, she explained.
Edward knew very well who Diana was, he loved the Roman and Greek classics himself but he was not sure the people would approve. Diana was a pagan name in honor of a pagan goddess. Weren't they supposed to fight everything of the old religion, to cleanse the church from Satan's influence?
Annie rolled her eyes. His fanaticism was no different than the Catholics who sided with her mother.
Though he argued with Annie for countless minutes how they could not name their daughter Diana for it would insult the courtiers; Annie had her way in the end.
Their daughter, Princess Diana she was named, was christened three days later and in a ceremony to appease both Catholics and Protestants, she was officially churched by her mother's chaplain symbolizing her reentry to the world, and baptized her daughter under an English, truly protestant, ceremony headed by Archbishop Cranmer who was named her godfather, and her godmother and Aunt, Bess Tudor.
1553, July 16th
Greenwich
"Alexei" Isabella tried but Alexei pushed her. "Don't" he said in a dangerous voice. "I am your wife" She pleaded.
"You are nothing to me. Nothing" he said "You and your family are the biggest mistake in the history England and our marriage is the unholiest thing in the face of the Earth" He screamed.
"How dare you I am your wife by law, by Church's law and by common law, you made a sacred promise to love and protect, you swore you would be faithful!"
"You were imposed on me, nobody wanted to marry you and your parents felt sorry for you! You hear me? Your parents only married you because nobody else would"
"It was Edw-"
"Edward hates what he cannot have. He craved for your sister the day he laid eyes on her, I was an obstacle he needed to get rid of, who better than you as my punishment"
"It is no excuse for your poor behavior husband!"
He had been drinking, he was drunk and did not know what he said. Isabella had seen bottles of wine and goblets that contained ale, sometimes both, on every aisle of their chambers. He had been furious when he found out about Annie's successful birthing of the Princess. He only went because he was forced to go for matters of state and to report back to his master, with his ambassadors and her clinging on him like a wanton wrench. But she was not, and when she and her husband were called forward by Edward to bring their presents for the new child, the minute he laid eyes on her, Alexei became invaded with dark thoughts. He was also angry that he and the other nobles as foreigners had been forced to sign an oath, not the same as his nobles who had been given special favors so Edward could keep them in line, but still he and other dignitaries considered it an insult that Edward was demanding their signature on the document. That wretched boy, he thought, is just as paranoid as his tyrant father. And he hated himself more for agreeing to sign it because of Annie, because he knew it was not his idea entirely. The King of England was not THAT smart, it had to be Annie or Eustace who gave him that idea. Isabella had not known what to do, after the ceremony ended she followed him to their chambers but he pushed her away and said he needed privacy. She discovered days later that he had been with one of the many whores at court, a Mistress Rowena Misseldon, daughter of Sir Severus Salazar Misseldon (who was brother to the infamous Ursula Misseldon) and Helga Malone. It wasn't simply that he'd been sleeping with another woman, lower in status than her, that angered her but her appearance! It was unbearable. She had the same color of hair and skin complexion as her sister!
"Out! Out!" She remembered saying and throwing their clothes at them, demanding some decency of them. She was his wife, the mistress of his house, the future Russian Empress, she deserved at least some respect!
She was brought out of her thoughts by Alexei who raised his voice, higher than he intended "In name only! Face it Isabella you do not want this marriage anymore than I do"
"I do, I love you, I love you why can't you see that?" Her eyes swelled with tears clinging unto his arm. He pushed her again but was more careful this time. His eyes landed on her mid-section. God, he wanted to be free of her, to be free of this burden. Her temper was just as bad as Annie's perhaps worse, she was such a fighter but so meek and submissive in public, it angered him. She had the potential to be greater than her family but her noble heart prevented her from any ambition. Bella was not made for the world of politics, he worried constantly she would not survive her future subjects who were as cold and unyielding as Russia's winters.
"Damn you and your pride what makes you think that you will forget Annie, that you will ever make her notice you"
"Watch it or-" He spat with venom.
"Or what?" She asked feeling more daring. He was the son of a common lady, it was only through a stroke of luck he had been made heir. Without her he would be nothing, just another want-to-be ass kisser of the Czar.
"Don't push it wife"
"I can do whatever I wish, I am the descendant of Isabel and Fernando. My father is the Duke of Bavaria and Count Palatine, he descends from Dukes and Counts, my mother comes from Kings, her mother comes from Kings, I come from Kings who won their position through divine right and not through chance like you"
"I have noble blood cursing through my veins too!"
"Noble but never royal, your royal blood has diluted itself with your mother's-" She did not see his hand being raised or making contact with her cheek. She did not anticipate it.
She clutched her cheek. Tears welled in her eyes. How could he? He was not a violent man, what prompt him to such violent act against the woman he sworn to love and protect?
He does not love you -a dark voice in her head said. No, she refused to believe that. Alexei loved her, he had to, this was just a simple derail. Yes, it had to be. Soon as he finds out he will love me.
So convinced was she, she did not turn to see Alexei look away, his hand shaking. He could not believe he had done that. Why? Why did he? He had never hit another woman in his life? What made Bella so different, looking again at her as tears fell from her eyes and ran down her cheeks he closed his eyes. But he could still see her bruise, and it didn't help him hearing her sobs.
"I apologize" he said in a nonchalant tone, but he did not walk to her to hold her or comfort her like he wanted. He could not, he was afraid it would only hurt them more.
What had he done oh Lord? Was this what his mother intended him to become when she let him go with his father's family? If she was here, he was sure she would be ashamed. Katherine Parr had raised Alexei Romanov better. "I apologize it will never happen again" He repeated more softly this time.
Bella pushed her blond locks on the side of her bruise. She felt ugly, unmasked, without value.
"Why don't we go then? Leave England, go to Russia Alexei where you will be far from her memory, far from hurting us-"
"There is no us! There is only you and your mother controlling you, why can't you get that inside your little head? You are not brainless Isabella, you've never been so why don't you start thinking for once and look around you? Your father cares only for your full blooded siblings, and your mother -as long as you are with child you are valuable"
Isabella's eyes went wide. She brought her hand to her mouth. "You know?"
He rolled his eyes. Of course he knew! Did she think him stupid not to know the signs when he had been around several women in her condition before? Women who were with child were easier to bed, once they were "with package" they could be sure that no sex would beget them bastards. Smart like Isabella but not idiots.
"I have known since I saw your breasts become fuller, when you started ordering new dresses, when you began to grow skin around your hips." He walked to her, Isabella took a step back putting her hands protectively around her stomach. He would not hit her (again), but you never know what a man could do under these circumstances.
Though he could not reassure her, not straight away unless she gave him good reason other than the creature she carried, he did change his tone, speaking softly to her. "I will not hurt you, but I do ask you to leave me alone"
I can't. She thought, but scared as always she kept her mouth shut and watched him leave. To another of his whores. Isabella's knees failed her and she dropped to the floor in the same fashion as her grandmother had done so many years ago when her husband told her he did not want to be with her anymore. Asking her for a divorce. Alexei would never do that, he was smarter than that, but he would never be faithful. It was common of men to have their mistresses but Alexei looked for comfort in women who reminded him of Annie and that stung her.
"I hate you" she said lifting herself up and walking to her vanity. "I hate you" she spoke louder. She hated her, that woman, that stupid, weak woman that stared at her every night when she looked in the mirror. That woman who could not grow will of her own to demand of her husband the loyalty he owed her.
"I hate myself"
A/N: I hope you liked this chapter. Leave your comments and for every careful observer who noticed there were some shockers, surprises here that will determine the fate of the characters and the future of their countries. As a tribute to my favorite characters of the Harry Potter franchise (becase let's face it, Harry Potter is good, but Snape totally deserved the girl better than James, he was a git) I had to put their names, for everyone who has not seen it, go see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, it marks the end of a generation for me and my friends who still remain close and grew up with the books and the movies, I went to see it with my friends and classmates and most of the people that I grew up with but had not seen in a long time, and it was an emotional moment, not because of the movie itself but because of what the movie evoked, our memories growing up together and our past friendships. There is this one scene that steals the movie, Alan Rickman does a good job there.
R/R!
~VXLP