Well, it has been like 3 days because back to school for me YAY (not) but this is a long chapter for you, enjoy!

MICHELLE'S POV

I know I woke up multiple times, but only for brief periods. The room would spin around me for a few seconds, and then I'd pass out again. So when I woke up for real, I knew I was in a hospital. I had to blink a few times to get used to the bright white light. The first thing I noticed was that almost everyone I knew was in my hospital room. The second thing I noticed was that Paul was not one of them.

When people saw my eyes were open, they all fell silent. Nobody knew what to say. I really didn't know what to say. I could hardly remember anything, just that I got really drunk and somehow ended up on a cliff, pointing a gun to my head. How do you explain that to someone and try to convince them you're perfectly sane?

"Hi Michelle, how're you feeling?" Emily asked, breaking the silence.

I looked down at my arms in which three IVs were sticking out of, "I've been better." My voice was really croaky. How long had I been out?

Everyone shifted uncomfortably.

"Alright, since nobody else is speaking up, I'm just gonna come right out and say what everybody's been thinking," Leah sighed, standing up, "Are you fucking insane? I understand that you lost your entire family, but you try and kill yourself? How much of a selfish bitch do you have to be to point a gun to your head and say you have nothing to live for? Huh? HELLO! What part of soul mates do you not understand? Do you know what it would have done to Paul if you killed yourself? He would have killed himself to be with you, wherever the hell that is, and then the pack would be torn apart! And people think I'm selfish, but at least after shit happens to me, I can move on! I mean, wow, just wow. How dumb are you? Bad move on your part girl, bad move."

Their mouths were hanging open, but nobody was stopping her. I stared, wide eyed. Leah had said about eight words to me in my entire life. With one last smirk, she brushed herself of and strutted out of the room.

"I-I'm sorry," Emily whispered, getting up and following Leah out.

Cue the chain reaction. Sam got up to follow Emily and Seth got up to follow Leah. That left me with Quil and Embry, who looked at each other nervously.

"If you don't want to be in here, you can leave," I said coldly.

They both stayed, scratching the backs of their necks uncomfortably. Finally, I got up the courage to ask what had been most on my mind.

"So uh, why isn't Paul huddled around my sick bed?" I asked nervously.

"Paul isn't um, taking this too well," Embry muttered.

"I see," I muttered.

"Listen, don't worry about what Leah said, she's just-"

"She's right," I sighed, "That was a really really really stupid thing for me to do."

"Well… yeah it was," Quil laughed uncomfortably.

"What's the damage?" I asked.

Embry and Quil looked at each other until Embry finally sighed and spoke up, "Emily cried for three days straight. Sam was a wreck because he blames himself for… setting you off. Leah's pissed because Seth hasn't been taking this well. He wishes that he'd tried to relate to you some more or something to help. The last time Paul tried to visit, he uh punched a doctor and then cried like a baby. He hasn't been able to look at you without phasing. He gave up two days ago and just runs around in the woods as a wolf. Jared's been trying to calm him down and it's sort of taking a toll on their friendship. Paul has said some nasty things to his best friends. And Brady pretty much hates being a wolf because of all this drama. He's scared shitless of Paul… was that too harsh?"

I ignored his last question. That was exactly what I needed to hear.

"Wait, how long have I been out?" I asked.

"Nine days," Quil muttered.

"Nine," I gasped.

"Yeah and they're keeping you in here longer," Embry added.

"But… why?"

"Apparently suicide attempts are taken extremely seriously," Quil sighed.

"But I was drunk… they know that right?"

"Doesn't make much of a difference," Embry said quietly.

"Well damn," I sighed after a moment of silence.

"Michelle, do you know what happened after you passed out?" Quil asked.

"Well obviously not because I was passed out."

"You had a seizure. You hadn't eaten all weak and you didn't have enough blood sugar. Michelle you almost died," he told me seriously.

"Oh," I mumbled, looking at my hands.

Quil looked like he wanted to push the situation, but a nurse came in and said visiting hours are over. She replaced my IV fluid and told me to go to sleep. I tossed and turned all night because, despite all that I'd put Paul through, I really missed him. And I felt kind of bad about how I'd treated him. Okay really bad.

My relief turned to fear when I woke up the next morning and realized it was him holding my hand. I opened my right I and shut it as quickly as I could, pretending to be asleep. His face shocked me. I'd never seen him look so upset. His eyes were puffy and red and tears were falling from his eyes. He looked so sad and lost, it made me want to cry, too. I really didn't want to have to confront him.

"I know you're awake," he sighed.

I internally groaned and opened both my eyes, smiling weakly at him. He wasn't looking at me, though. He was staring at my hand in his.

"How could you?" he whispered.

"Paul, I'm-"

"Don't say you're sorry. You have to mean it Michelle. You say you're sorry, but then you go and make yourself sick. It's like a cycle. And it's driving me crazy!" he groaned.

"But I am sorry. I know it was… stupid and idiotic and I wasn't thinking straight when I did it."

"You don't u-understand. I was s-so close to l-losing you," he sobbed. He laid his head on my stomach and wrapped his arms around my waist, crying noisily.

"Please Paul," I whispered, "It's okay. I'm here, I'm safe."

"No you're not! You're still sick!" he yelled, jumping up, "When is this going to go away? This constant need to starve yourself and be thin?"

"I'm fine okay?" I shot back angrily.

"I'm not going to believe that!" he growled, "Not until you're better. Really better."

"I am better!"

"You're not Michelle. I need to see results until I can believe that! So stop fighting with everyone and just let us help you!" he yelled, and then dropped to his knee in front of my bed and took my hand again, "Please," he whispered softly.

I didn't say anything as tears filled my eyes.

"Michelle, this isn't healthy," he growled, pulling up my pajama shirt.

I don't think he expected to see what he saw because when his eyes fell on my bare stomach, a huge gasp escaped his lips. I looked down in panic, afraid of what was there. Every one of my ribs was poking out of my skin and my hips were jutting out. I looked up at Paul in fear. He was shaking like crazy, even the bed was vibrating.

"Paul! Paul Calm down!" I pleaded.

"Can't even… look at you without crying!" he gasped, sprinting out of the room.

I pulled my shirt back in place and took a few deep breaths. Dr. Cullen came in carrying a tray of food. He set it down in front of me and picked up his clip board.

"Michelle, starting today the hospital is going to have you on a very strict diet to help you gain back the weight you need. You currently weigh 63 pounds. If you refuse to eat, we will get your guardian to sign a warrant saying that we are allowed to feed you with a feeding tube. Four times a day a nurse or myself will come in here to make sure you eat, and then stay for thirty minutes afterwards to make sure you don't make yourself sick. From here until the end of the month, you will be closely monitored. Do you understand?" he said sternly.

I nodded, looking down at the food in front of me. There wasn't much, the hospital was smart, they knew if they fed me too much food at one time, I would involuntarily throw it back up. My breakfast consisted of scrambled eggs and an orange and a carton of milk.

As I picked up my fork to begin my first meal in this long journey, I decided that I was doing this for Paul. I would make myself what everyone considered "better" for Paul, because he needed me and I needed him. Having near death experiences makes you realize something. Life is important, and my dad and brother and mom's life was shortened. So I should enjoy the people I love now, because I don't know how long I or they are going to be around.

For Paul, I thought as I swallowed the first bite of eggs, for Paul.

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