"hey." I said to Sam, smiling when I saw him.
"Hey. What took you guys so long?" he asked giving me a peck on the lips.
I hesitated, biting the bottom of my lower lip. I looked at Sarah. I telepathically sent her a message. Say something! He knows when im lying! I told her. She nodded and answered Sam.
"The line was super long and the cooks, I swear, were going super slow."
I had to hand it to her, she seemed very convincing.
"Yup. So I was thinking, Sarah's shift starts again in a few minutes, and it's the martial arts kids. And they are here till like 7. So is it ok if we stay?" I smiled sweetly.
Sam looked at me. I knew he wouldn't mind, but I wanted to make sure he was ok with it. I mean, he is the alpha of the La Push pack.
"Yea, that's fine I guess."
"Yes!" Sarah and I squealed and laughed.
We all ate our food and then next class came in. Boy did they seem happy to see me. They couldn't stop jumping and laughing. It was defiantly a good way to get problems off my mind.
The rest of the time passed by quick. Before I knew it, it was almost 7. Sarah was wrapping up class and Sam and I were getting ready to go back home.
All of the kids said their goodbyes to me and made me promise to come back again soon. Of course, that was a promise I was eager to keep. After they left, I hugged Sarah and thanked her for everything.
"Stay in touch, ok?" she gave me a meaningful look and let me go. She gave Sam a quick hug and told us both to come again soon.
I took Sam's hand and looked at him.
"Ready?" I asked. He nodded and we vanished back home.
I decided to teleport into the kitchen. Hopefully no one was in the center of the kitchen or they were going to get hit. And luckily, they weren't.
I started to walk away towards the guys in the family room until I felt a warm hand on my wrist.
"Hey. Come back here." Sam said pulling me towards his chest. I couldn't help but to smile as his warm arms embraced me.
"Hey." I said in a bubbly tone. I couldn't help but feel so girlish and carefree around him.
"Hey." He said almost mocking me. I couldn't help but to stick out my tongue and he just couldn't help laughing at me.
He took my hands from his chest and held them in his soft warm hands. He then bent his head down towards my ear.
"I love you." He said softly and sweet. His breath on my ear was warm and comforting. I couldn't help but lean into his touch more and more.
I looked up to him and found his eyes searching for mine. I gave him a sweet passionate kiss on the lips.
"I love you too." I said looking at him and then wrapped my arms around his neck.
"So did you have fun?" he asked me holding me tight.
"Mmhmm. Thank you for going with me."
"Thank you for letting me. I enjoyed watching you." He took a deep breath. "I can see why you missed them so much. The kids and everyone. You were so good to them." I could feel my cheeks heating up, and looked away. He wrapped his hand to cup my cheek and tilted my head towards him. He pushed my hair back out of my face and caressed my cheek with his thumb. "I mean it. You will be a great mom some day."
I looked at him kind of shocked. "Mo-Mom?" I stumbled on the word.
"I…well…yea. I mean I thought that…" Sam stumbled on his words just as bad as me. We were suddenly cut off by an intruder walking into the kitchen. I couldn't find the strength to tear my eyes away from him to look at the person.
"Aww, how adorable!" Leah teased.
It was then I had the courage to look away from Sam's intense gaze and rolled my eyes at her.
"So how was it?" Leah asked the two of us.
I then took it as my chance to back away from Sam.
"It was good. It was good to see everyone again…" I said sitting on the counter. Leah and I talked while we waited for the popcorn to heat up.
I took a quick glace over at Sam to see him standing right where I left him, just looking at me. I quickly turned away.
The microwave beeped and I hoped off the counter. Leah put the popcorn in the bowl and we decided to walk back to the family room.
"I'm going to go change really quick" I said and ran up the stairs. I walked into my room and grabbed some clean sweatpants and a light t shirt. After I changed I heard a knock on the door. I turned around to find the one and only, Sam.
"hey." He said softly.
I cleared my throat and tried to calm my nerves. The only way I could do that was turning back to the mirror to finish brushing my hair without looking at him.
"hey." I said just as soft but biting my lip in the process.
"So…umm…" he said clearing his throat.
I sighed. My hair was brushed. If I was going to brush it any more, I would no longer have any natural curls or hair.
"Bella! Come on!" I hear Kim shout.
"Coming!" I shouted back. I put the brush back down on the dresser and walked towards the door, still not making eye contact with Sam.
I almost made it towards the stairs till he grabbed me by the waist.
"Wait!" Sam said.
I swallowed, not daring to look at him. I couldn't think of what to say, so I placed my hand on top of the one he had around my waist. I lightly pushed it away, keeping my eyes focused on his hand and then walked down stairs.
"Hey." I said plopping down next to Leah at the end of the couch.
"Hey Bells!" the pack said.
"So how was it Bells?" Jake asked me, sitting at my feet.
"It was good. I was glad to see everyone again." I said feeling slightly exhausted.
"You ok?" Jake asked looking at me concerned. I must have swallowed a little too loudly, because he started to get up and feel my head.
I quickly pushed it away and sat up straighter in my seat.
"I'm fine." I said more alert.
Everyone started to look at me, and I couldn't help but feel nervous.
"I-I'm fine. So…umm…what did you guys do while Sam and I were gone?" I asked with pleading eyes towards Jacob to change the subject.
"Nothing much. Hung around. At some food, watched some tv, played some video games." Seth said lying down with his arms crossed over his head.
"Sounds…boring." I said truthfully.
"It was" Paul said in a flat voice.
"hmm." I said holding my fingers to my temples. I closed my eyes.
This headache was coming back…and quick. I bit my lip to hold back a groan. Suddenly I felt my butt leave the couch and placed on a lap. I quickly opened my eyes and turned back to see Sam looking at me.
His eyes showed true concern. It was an expression that signaled a talk or a long lecture of some sort, that I really wasn't in the mood for.
"Don't." I said groaning even before he could get a word out. I turned back around and put my head in-between my legs.
Then a thought suddenly occurred to me. I snapped my head up and glared at Jake.
He looked at me, and then gulped. I gave him a deadly glare.
"What?" Quil asked looking back and forth between Jake and me.
"You told him didn't you?" I directed to Jake.
"I…well…you just…and he…." Jake stumbled.
I gave him another glare. "Jake I said I was fine! Why can't you just let it go! Going to tell Sam Jake! Come on! I mean-…" I couldn't help but yell and stand up.
"I'm right here you know." Sam said in a normal pitch.
"Wh-what?" I stopped shouting and asked. I looked back and stared at him, a little bit confused.
"I'm right here. You don't have to keep yelling. It wasn't Jake's fault. He was walking into the kitchen to get a soda and saw me in the kitchen. He was asking me what was wrong, and I could see he was worried. So when I ask him, and I asked him for the truth, he told me." He said.
I sighed and put my hand to my head. "Oh" My head started to pound again, this headache would just not give up.
"Sorry Jake" I said. He nodded.
"It fine Bells, don't sweat it." He brushed off.
"Ok, well I'm going up to bed. So, night everyone." I exclaimed. Before I walked upstairs to go to bed, I headed into the kitchen and grabbed some aspirin. I popped the two white pills in my mouth and drank some water. I leaned over the sink with my hands on the counter.
Geez, I'm such a fool. Of course I'm the one to make the big deal out of everything. Way to keep my secret a lasting secret. I thought while rolling my eyes at myself.
I pushed myself off the sink counter and headed up to my room.
I did my whole night routine and then changed into my pjs. The headache I was experiencing wasn't getting any better. I thought that maybe some fresh air would help, so I walked over to my window near my bed and opened it up. I leaned against the wall beside the window and just stared outside, inhaling the fresh air.
I closed my eyes, just listening to the outside sounds. It was so calming and free. It was somewhere I wanted to be.
I saw the refection of a person leaning against my doorframe in the window so I quickly turned around to see Sam again.
"Hey." I whispered quietly and walked over to get into bed. I left the window open, just wanting to let the fresh air in my small stuffy room. (Or at least that's how it felt)
I snuggled up to my covers, my back facing Sam who was still at the doorway. I stared out the window, just looking at the pretty night. I didn't really care if Sam answered me or not. As a matter of fact, I have no idea if he did or didn't. But at that moment, I didn't care. All I wanted to do was to sleep. I felt my bed shift in balance and then felt Sam cuddle up towards me. He put his arm around my waist and brought my body closer to his.
"Are you ok?" he whispered to me.
"Sam." I huffed.
"Ok, I'm sorry, it's just…I-…"
I turned back to stare at him. He only stumbled on his words when he didn't know how to ask me things. Serious things.
"Why don't you want to have kids?" he asked suddenly.
"What?" I asked confused. "When did I say that?" I turned towards him.
"Well…you didn't, but when I brought up you being a great mom, you just were…I don't know, you just got funny." He exclaimed, huffing at his loss of words.
"It's just…I-I don't know Sam."
"Yes, yes you do. Please tell me." He said brushing my hair out of his face.
"I don't really think about it. Well, I mean I do, but I don't. I mean, I don't really think about it. It's in the way future."
"Wa-Way?" Sam choked out.
"Well, no. Well…I don't know." I sighed.
"Why don't you wanna have kids soon?" he asked
"Because…it's just…" Sam waited. His eyes were searching mine, like if he looked in them long enough he would find the words to understand.
"Because it's not supposed to happen this way." I accidentally exclaimed which was louder than it was meant to be. I quickly put a hand over my mouth after saying that. The expression on Sam's face was a quick flash of hurt and then confusion.
"Huh?" he asked totally clueless. I swallowed.
"It's just…this whole thing. The whole mommy thing, the whole school thing, just everything. I thought I could do all of this. I thought I would have a plan, a system of my future. But now everything's different. Everything is so different and it's happening way to fast. I can't slow it down, and I cant…I just cant." I admitted.
Sam looked at me sympathetically. He put his forehead to mine and stared at me.
"So what is your plan…or system, I should say."
"I-I don't know. I mean it was so simple. So traditional, but now, now I haven't even had a chance to stop and think about it. Its like one thing happens after another, and I just can't seem to stay on top of everything."
"What was your original plan?" he asked.
I took a deep breath. "Sam…"
"Come on Bells. We are in this together, our future is together. Let me hear what you thought you were going to do, what you wanted to do."
"I-… After high school graduation, I wanted to go to college. Maybe study teaching or art. Then I wanted to move back with my dad. After that I wanted to maybe get a job in my field of education and meet someone. Maybe go on a few dates here or there, and then maybe one day get married. After that, when I start to settle down, have some kids and be a stay at home mom." I said sighing. "But as you can see, that's just a thought. A thought that cant really be fulfilled."
I turned to Sam. "Bella…" he began to say, but I needed to say one more thing.
"I don't regret meeting you, or how my powers changed a lot for me. I don't regret moving in with my dad earlier than I planned. I'm glad I got to experience all of those things. I wouldn't change that for a second. I just, I just feel that everything is coming way too quick. And when you brought up the whole mom thing, it was just a big shocker to me."
"I will admit, all of this future talk scares me. But just being with you, just knowing you will one day be the mother of my children and my wife, it makes everything ok. I know you are panicked about your future, but I promise we will get through this together." He said looking at me with sincerity and passion in his eyes.
I nodded. His support made me feel comfort, but I couldn't shake the feeling of panic and the sense of no knowing what I was going to do in life. I kept thinking about this till my head started to hurt again, so I gave up for the night.
"Thanks Sam." I yawned and turned back to face the window to let sleep succumb me.