Hawkfrost: *clears throat* My name is Hawkfrost and I will be narrating Twilight today.

Mapleshade (who sits outside the theater working the sound): Whatever Hawky, let's just get this boring teenage romance over with. I haven't been a teenager in years, and I don't wish to be reminded of it.

Hawkfrost: *rolls eyes* 'I'd never given much thought to how I would die—though I'd had reason enough in the past few months—but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this—' what the StarClan is this?

Mapleshade: A teenage romance novel.

Hawkfrost: I thought Twilight was about vampire not some emo chick writing in a diary. I mean, I have all respect to them and all *cough* was one *cough* but still, no one wants to read this.

Mapleshade: Well, apparently people do. Look we're using your voice to get paid so we could buy that nuclear missile to shoot at StarClan. I want my money, and that missile so hurry up!

Hawkfrost: *mutters under breath* Fine. 'I'd never given much thought to how I would die—though I'd had reason enough in the past few months—but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.'

*The wind begins to swirl around him and suddenly Hawkfrost is standing in a high school trying to avoid getting trampled by students*

Hawkfrost: GAH! MAPLESHADE! WHERE ARE YOU?

Edward: *stops and looks at Hawkfrost* What are you doing here little kitty… You look so… delicious. *mouth begins to water*

Hawkfrost: *stares up at him and gulps* Um… Don't you have some human girl to stalk?

Edward: *remembers and stands up from hovering over Hawkfrost* Oh yeah, I do. Thanks… cat. *walks off to find Bella*

Hawkfrost: I heard that the Twilight Saga was, quote: "A spellbinding romantic epic that has entranced millions" not a stupid children's novel.

Narrator: But you are from a children's series dear Hawkfrost.

Hawkfrost: *hisses and neck fur rises. He looks around for whoever made the sound* Who said that?

Narrator: Me, now run along Hawky. You're going to be late for Biology class.

Hawkfrost: Biology-what?

A/N: Well this is part 1. :D R & R please. THis is a spoof. :D