Disclaimer: I don't own any Harry Potter or Harry Potter related copyrights. I retain all rights to any original characters, settings, or ideas.
"Speaking of ideal," murmured James disappointedly as a Patronus he recognized as Sirius's sprang through the wall into the living room.
"Sirius was on duty in Hogmeade today," gasped Lily as she and James jumped off of the couch, ready to hear Sirius's message and depart immediately.
"Death Eaters in Hogsmeade. Need help immediately. Floo to Three Broomsticks."
"You heard the man," said James almost giddily as the adrenaline flowed through his veins and the Patronus disappeared. This would be James's first real battle as he had only finished Moody's boot camp the week before. He quickly started a fire in the fireplace and grabbed the jar of floo powder off of the mantle.
"James," said Lily as she grabbed his hand and prevented him from throwing the floo powder into the fireplace. "Be careful out there, and stay close to the group. Don't go off on your own; that's how people end up dead."
"Don't worry love, it will all be fine," he grinned and departed.
Lily took a deep breath and followed immediately. She was worried. James had never been in or seen the direct aftermath of a battle before.
When Lily stepped out of the fireplace in the Three Broomsticks, she was immediately grabbed and hauled behind the bar. Seconds later the fireplace exploded as a stray spell collided with the stones.
"Sorry, I guess this isn't safe anymore," said Sirius quickly as James and Lily joined him.
"What's the situation?" asked James tensely. This was not exactly what he expected.
"'Bout thirty Death Eaters showed up here, going on ten minutes ago, and started wrecking havoc. Teachers on duty did their best to round the kids up and more should be coming down from the castle soon, but there are still a dozen or so kids not accounted for. Honeydukes and Zonko's are surrounded but haven't been breached yet. Three Broomsticks has been emptied," said Sirius as he gestured to the silence. "We have three people up guarding the loading of the carriages and hopefully more have joined them. We're going to work on freeing Honeydukes and Zonko's."
"Let's go then!" said James as he leapt from his crouch heroically.
"Get down you idiot!" shouted Lily as she grabbed his robes and stopped him. "Haven't Moody and I taught you anything?"
"Right, right," said James under his breath, his eyes wide with fear and his limbs quivering due to the adrenaline bath his muscles were receiving.
Once she was confident that James would be more careful, Lily instructed two of the people she loved the most saying, "Cover me and we'll regroup 20 meters from Zonko's."
"Right," said Sirius steadily, though Lily could tell he was nervous as well.
"Try to relax and remember what Moody and I said; you can do this," said Lily quickly before she leapt from behind the counter to behind an overturned table.
It seemed as if the bar was not being targeted, so Lily became bolder, making steady progress out of the room. James and Sirius soon followed, replicating her careful pattern of maintaining cover. Then all three were hiding in the shadows of the front of the Three Broomsticks taking in the destruction of the village that held special memories for all three of them. They could see in the distance smoke billowing from a burning house and green light streaking out of another. Bodies lay strewn about, some in disgusting contorted positions and others looking as if they could just be taking a brief rest in the middle of the road… in pools of blood... Sirius couldn't help himself; he ducked down and vomited violently. James and Lily were kind enough to avert their eyes and no one ever spoke of the incident.
"Let's go kick some arse," said Sirius sternly, rage overwhelming his fear for the moment. Bravely, yet foolhardily, as Lily noted, Sirius walked out of the Three Broomsticks, his head high, his back straight, his eyes glinting dangerously, and his robes streaming behind him.
Despite Lily's initial plea to James, the pair soon became separated in the chaos as James became engaged in a duel with a pair of Death Eaters and Lily continued on with Sirius. By the time Sirius and Lily arrived on the scene, they were overjoyed to see that the besieged students were fighting back- with Zonko's products! As Sirius later noted, he had never been so proud in his life and attributed the pranking, fighting spirit that had been instilled in the students to himself and his other partners-in-crime. Little did he know, that Minerva McGonagall also witnessed the scene and proudly thought the same thing; not that she would ever tell him that of course!
Invigorated by the smell of dungbombs and the sound of Fanged Frisbees wooshing through the air, Sirius joined the other adults surrounding the attackers and began stunning and binding the distracted Death Eaters. Lily made her way towards the store front where the older students were using what limited spells they knew to fight off the Death Eaters who were not so easily distracted. Fighting beside students, children, she grimly noted, that had been her peers not so long ago, infused a sense of solemnity in Lily. Her heart was chilled by the thought that the Death Eaters were robbing the students of much more than their friends; innocence is something that can never be retrieved or replaced and many, many children were making the abrupt shift to adulthood on that unseasonably warm and cloudy spring day.
Soon all of the Death Eaters around Zonko's had run off or were stunned and Lily wiped her sweaty forehead and looked at the tired, but cheering students around her.
"Listen to me!" She ordered them, using her best Head Girl voice. "Hogsmeade still isn't safe; you have to get back to the castle! Stay together and don't stop until you get to the carriages. Sirus, Frank, Minerva!" she called to the three closest people she could recognize. "Guard the students on their way to the carriages. Everyone else come with me and we'll continue on to Honeyduke's."
The inhabitants of Hogsmeade who had been fighting alongside Lily and the other Order members did not really know who Lily was, but it seemed like she had a plan and no one else did, so they did as she said. Honeydukes, though not far from Zonko's, was a completely different battlefield. Lily couldn't see any children around, for which she was grateful, but both Death Eaters and the newly arrived aurors were locked in furious combat. Seeing friends and neighbors struggling, the other people streamed past Lily, tired but eager to restore the peace of the village.
Lily was concentrating on forming a plan when she felt the smooth end of a wand on the back of her neck and heard a familiar voice whisper in her ear. "Don't say a word; do exactly as I say. Walk down the alley on your right and then take a left and stay behind the building."
Lily cursed herself for losing her concentration and being so vulnerable, but she knew that she would not come to any harm. They had been through a lot and had definitely aligned themselves with different teams, but Snape wouldn't hurt her, of this she was sure.
"You can take off the mask Severus; I know it's you," said Lily softly as they reached the appointed place.
"Lily Evans, or should I say Potter," sneered her childhood friend as he did as she recommended.
"Is this about me marrying James?" asked Lily tiredly. "If you didn't notice, I'm a little busy at the moment- saving lives!"
"This battle is all but over," said Snape dismissively. "What I have to say is much more important and we're not going to get this opportunity again. There are many people you have pissed off with this marriage Lily; some of whom are on the guest list," he hissed.
"I know," admitted Lily. "We've planned for that. For everyone I have suspected of being potentially… troublesome, there are two aurors or people I trust."
"You trust too many people then," muttered Snape derisively.
"Or you trust too few," countered Lily.
Snape paused for a moment and then, slowly acknowledged their friendship by saying, "Just be careful Lily. I wouldn't want to see you get hurt."
Rather than trying to convince him one last time to change sides, Lily simply hugged the man before her, knowing that there was some good left in him.
The moment was shattered by screams and shouts of horror.
Recognition dawned on Severus's face and his voice was grim. "The Dark Lord is here."
The desperate plan Lily had kept at the back of her mind sprang to the forefront, and out of concern for her once friend, Lily told him urgently, "Get out of here, now."
"I can't."
"I'm sorry." And with that she had stunned him.
The carnage was worse than Lily could imagine. The only relief was that there still didn't appear to be any children around. Voldemort was in the center of the action and his sheer presence seemed to simultaneously paralyze the aurors and other non-masked figures and to give strength to his followers.
Lily felt angry. So angry that it filled her stomach and started to bleed into her abdomen and sneaking tendrils crept up into her heart. She allowed herself to feed off of the anger, for once not denying or controlling it. Raw power soared into her arteries, rushing through her limbs and searing her muscles with its strength.
"That is enough!" she bellowed as she stepped into the street in the middle of the fighting.
Heads turned as her surreal voice echoed off of the buildings. Fighting ceased. She was quite the creature to behold. Her hair, often described as fiery, now appeared to actually be tongues of fire licking her scalp as they twisted and danced in all directions like a devilish halo. Little white sparks were leaping up and down her wand arm and her skin seemed to be glowing. For those who had the unfortunate luck to be close enough to see her eyes, they found the emerald green darkened to almost black, giving her eyes the appearance of belonging to a soulless denizen of dark and primitive corners of the nearby forest.
"Enemies of the good, lovers of evil and pain, you are not welcome here. Leave immediately or suffer the consequences." Lily's voice, deepened by the power and severity of her words, rang out in the dead silence of the battlefield.
Voldemort started it. He chuckled and soon his minions followed. That was a mistake.
The Dark Lord stepped out from the center of the action and stood only meters from Lily. He eyed her up and down as the laughter swelled.
"Join me," he whispered into her mind. "You have power- I can see that- and you have anger too. I will teach you how to use it in ways Dumbledore dares not explore."
"I know the darkness," Lily responded evenly. "And I know love. I will never join you."
It was during this silent exchange, this fateful face-off that James Potter returned to the scene. The fear that gripped him as he saw his beloved fiancée staring down what he was sure was her death was unimaginable. Black dots crept into his vision and he grabbed the doorframe of Honeydukes to steady himself. As he readied himself to save the woman he couldn't live without, Lily saved herself.
"Omnipotens historiae descende meum et auxilio occidere hostos," intoned Lily in a low voice. She closed her eyes and positioned her arms in an x, her wand gripped firmly in her right fist. Upon the last word of her enchantment she opened her eyes and in one swift motion, uncrossed her arms as a horizontal band of white mist sprang forth from her in an arc. As the mist encountered the death eaters they were pushed over and hit the ground with screams of agony. Aurors and Order members, as well as inhabitants of Hogsmeade, were left uninjured but seriously baffled. Lily collapsed in a heap.
Voldemort threw off the curse almost instantly and disapparated soon after. As his followers figured out how to counter the curse and regained their sanity, the Aurors also recovered their faculties and were able to arrest a few of their enemies. Unfortunately most escaped.
James feared the worst as he bounded across the street to the fallen form of Lily. Sirius arrived first and confirmed that James's worst fear had not come true that day- Lily was breathing! James slumped down to the ground and pulled Lily's limp form on his lap, cradling her as best he could as tears fell freely down his cheeks. She was alive and that was all that mattered.
"She will heal just fine James," Dumbledore repeated for the fifth time.
"I know," said James, his gaze never leaving the pale and still bride-to-be in the bed before him.
"Madame Pomfrey is taking excellent care of her," added Dumbledore with a heavy hint in his tone.
"I know," said James, irritation creeping into his voice. In only four hours he was going to have to return to the Auror Academy and he would be damned if he wasn't going to spend every second of those four hours just as he had spent the previous twenty-one, watching over Lily as he should have been doing during the battle.
Dumbledore sighed, realizing that the only way to remove the stubborn young man would be by force and he didn't want to resort to that. Therefore he summoned a chair and settled into it.
"I haven't yet thanked you for your part in the battle yesterday," began the Headmaster softly. "Minerva tells me that you saved the lives of nearly a dozen students by somehow smuggling them out of Honeydukes and into the castle undetected before it was breached. The odd part is, not one of those students can remember quite how they managed to get to the castle."
"That certainly is odd," said James with the ghost of a smirk on his face.
"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that a Marauder could find his way into the castle when he so chooses."
James didn't reply, only nodded his head slightly in the hope that it would disguise the playfulness and pride in his expression.
"The important thing is that he chooses to do so in a manner that is a service to the school," said Dumbledore with his customary vagueness and twinkling eyes.
"I'm sure that the Marauders, whoever those fine chaps may be, always used their superior knowledge to be of service to Hogwarts, at least from their point of view," James responded.
Albus chuckled. "Yes, I suppose so, however, I am relieved that many more students of such superior knowledge were not created in the last twenty-four hours. As Headmaster I probably would have had to thoroughly investigate and close the passage by which the students could travel off of the grounds unnoticed."
"That would have been a shame," agreed James. "It is a good thing that the Marauders paid attention in Charms class when spells they considered to be potentially useful, such as Oblivate, just as an example, were discussed."
"Yes indeed," mused Dumbledore. "Well I must be off now; my meeting with the French Minister of Magic was cut very short yesterday when I finally received word of the happenings at Hogsmeade and I still hope to impress upon him the urgency of our situation."
"Good luck," said James simply as he returned his full attention to Lily.
At the last possible minute, Sirius arrived in the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts and put his hand on James's shoulder.
"Did you bring it?" James asked him, soaking up the image of Lily for just a moment longer.
"Yes, and Moony and Wormtail agreed with you; this is the right thing to do," Sirius answered as he pulled the Marauders' Map out of his pocket. "Over the Floo Moony even told me how to add a charm to it so that when it falls into the right hands they will know what to do."
"Excellent. Where shall we hide it?" asked James as he swiftly turned from Lily and stood up. He walked out of the Hospital Wing without looking back and dashed off for his final adventure as a Marauder. Taking those kids through the passage from Honeydukes to Hogwarts had impressed upon his the need for the secrets of Hogwarts to fall into new hands, good hands that would help people. It was selfish to continue to hold onto the map, and as difficult as it was for them to part with it, the Marauders all realized that they were adults now and the map didn't truly belong to them anymore.
"Lily," called Dumbledore sternly as he woke the girl from her slumber.
Slowly Lily's eyelids fluttered, but they were so heavy…
One spell later and Lily was wide awake, and, as she discovered as she tried to sit up in bed, incredibly sore.
Albus watched her flinch and heard her low moan but his face showed no sign of sympathy. "Lily. What you did yesterday was rash; it was a rookie mistake! You know better than to unleash your fury like that! All of your hard work, all of your training, for nothing. You know better; I taught you better than that. That spell was not ready and you knew that. How dare you test it out before Alastor and I told you to do so?"
Lily closed her eyes and counted to ten, breathing slowly and deeply. Then, despite the pain, she sat up in bed because she couldn't stand for Albus to be looking down at her like that anymore.
"You weren't there," began Lily accusingly. "You can't know what it was like. People were dying and Voldemort was giving a second wind to all of the Death Eaters. It wasn't going to stop; they were winning! My friends were out there! I had to do something and that was the only thing I could think of that would make a difference, and it did! I stopped the fighting. I stopped it! Think about how many lives were saved."
"Yes, but you may have forfeited your own and what good does that do anyone," spat Dumbledore as he stood up and paced the room. Lily had only seen him that angry once before, but she was older now and not as scared as she was then. "Lord Voldemort has known who you are, but now he knows what you can really do, and he will be coming for you. What he craves most is power and what you showed him yesterday was a deep and very dark power. He will want you as a weapon in his army or he will want you dead."
"We always knew he would come after me sooner or later; that wasn't to be avoided."
"But you have thrust yourself into the limelight now! I don't know how or when, but I am sure that he will try to find you. I think it would be best if you left the country for a while. Go back to the Institute and maybe you can learn some patience and sound judgment."
"I cannot be dismissed like a child Albus!" shouted Lily as she sprang from the bed that had been assembled just for her in Madame Pomfrey's office. "I will never be Lord Voldemort's tool, but I am not yours either to be commanded and wielded as you wish! I stand by my decision yesterday and I will not abandon my country and my friends right now. I will accept the consequences of my action and with or without your assistance I will protect myself and those whom I love by any means necessary."
Albus sighed as he gazed upon the headstrong young women he had mentored for almost a decade. "Of course I will help you," he said tiredly as he removed his spectacles and rubbed the bridge of his crooked nose. "I already have alerted my spies to be listening for any information about you. The Order will do its best to keep you safe. This conversation is not over, but you should get some more rest; you overexerted your body."
And with that, Dumbledore reversed the spell on Lily. She stumbled back into bed and he charmed the blankets to cover her once more. Albus sighed once again. The Headmaster loved all of his students, but once in a while a special one like Lily came stumbling into his life and he grew to care more for her than he could fathom. He supposed that what he felt must be a mixture of how parents feel when a child grows beyond them or when that child does something dangerous, something that they were forbidden to do for their own good. Lily was a wondrous creature and he loved her for her ability to study and bend dark magic to her will, as he was not able. But as he gazed at her charred fingertips, he wondered how long her goodness could survive against the temptation for more.
"Evans!" barked Moody the second she set foot in the Order Headquarters for a meeting the following evening.
"Oh Alastor, not you too," she groaned as she rubbed the side of her face tiredly.
"What in Merlin's name were you thinking testing out that spell in front of Volde-bloody-mort? Are you trying to get yourself killed?" he blared.
"I didn't know what else to do! We had basically finished the incantation; it was time to test it anyway!" she shouted back defensively.
"But what if one of the Death Eaters overheard you and can now use that against us? If it falls into their hands we are screwed and it would be all your fault! And it obviously wasn't ready because it didn't go according to plan now did it?" he sneered.
Then he grabbed her hand and jerked it up towards he face to study it as if he were a jeweler and he was examining a fine gem. Lily attempted to yank her hand from his grasp, but he had caught her by surprise and he had a firm grip.
"You let the dark magic take you," he said with disgust as he dropped her hand as if it were filthy.
"Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones," she mumbled ashamed.
Moody's mangled face relaxed its scowl just slightly. He put a heavy hand on Lily's shoulder and as she gazed into his face with a hurt expression he sighed.
"I sometimes forget that you're just a kid," he muttered as a way of an apology. "How are you feeling?"
"Empty and hungry," she said meaningfully as other members began drifting into the room.
"The first few days are the worst," he confided in her.
"I know; I've been here before," she said ruefully.
"Let me know if you need anything."
Lily nodded, but they both knew her pride was too badly damaged for her to stoop any further to ask for any help. Dark magic was a seductive and slick beast, one with which Lily had grappled once before, but as Dumbledore had warned her, it only got harder each time. Once a witch or wizard has tasted dark magic, especially of the strength with which Lily just had, it was difficult to resist going in deeper. It was like a drug; you knew that it would be harder to resist after each time you succumb, but trying it again was so alluring because the high was just so good…
"So are we ever going to talk about what happened in Hogsmeade last week?" James asked abruptly. They were alone having a late dinner in a small dining room in the Potter manor the Friday night following the attack and Lily had been chatting to him all about her week for over an hour but still hadn't mentioned what he was actually dying to know.
Lily frowned and stiffened, slightly leaning away from her love. "What about it?"
"How about the end?" said James with irritation creeping into his voice. After she owled him to let him know she was ok, he responded asking about the spell she had used but his question had gone unanswered, ignored in fact, in her reply.
Lily turned her focus onto the dessert in front of her, debating what to tell him.
"Hey," he said sharply, causing her to look up at him again. "No secrets, remember?"
Lily sighed. "You're right. I suppose I can't avoid telling you now. That was the secret project I was working on with Moody and Dumbledore that I couldn't tell you about when I first told you about the Order. We were working on an incantation that I first read about while at the Institute. It was never completed and much of the work was lost, but a professor of mine, you've heard his name before, Livedero, encouraged me to research it and try to finish it myself. I told Dumbledore of it and he thought it would be a great weapon for our side… and Moody, well, did you ever wonder why Moody hates the Dark Arts with such a passion?"
James shook his head no.
"You can't breathe a word of this to anyone, but Moody was caught up in some dark magic when he was young, not even out of Hogwarts. Dumbledore found out and helped him to straighten out; it took months but eventually he put dark magic behind him for good. Since that day he has devoted his life to fighting the dark arts. So while he wasn't willing, and really can't do dark magic again, he knows quite a bit about it and was helping me."
James's forehead creased with confusion. "I don't get it… what's so hard about stopping using dark magic?"
Lily smiled at him sweetly, and said, "You're so… good James. I'm glad you don't get it, but I will try to explain it to you." Then she closed her eyes and a different smile came over her face, one of wistful longing, and with it came a deep sigh. Her eyes opened and James could see a kind of frantic energy behind her expression and a strong passion was infused in her words. "It's like a drug, a wonderful high… You feel alive and untouchable, perfect and… and powerful, like nothing can stop you. You're on top of the whole world, the best of the best."
Lily's longing manner was replaced by a hard tone as she talked about what came after the high. "But then it ends and you're left with charred fingertips, at least the first few times I'm told, and a horrible insatiable craving…" She looked at her now healed fingers and sighed. "Those few days afterwards are the worst. The skin heals and your body heals, but the soul… your soul wants the high back, wants it so badly… it's like nothing else matters. Thinking of you helped me get through these last few days. So many times I wanted to succumb… to explore the depths of the darkness and see what there was to see, seize the power that was waiting there for me… but I knew you would be disappointed in me, you would look at me differently, kind of like you are now."
James was caught off guard, as he often was when Lily gave him pieces of the aspects of her life he didn't share and couldn't truly understand. "I- er… um…"
"Do you still love me, now that you know I've used dark magic?" she asked him sharply, though her knew her voice was a product of fear more so than anger or resentment.
"Of course," he replied as he reached for her hand. "You are still you and I am proud of you."
"Thank you," said Lily quietly, though James sensed there was more to the story. There was something about her that said guilt to him…
"What is it?"
"Hogsmeade wasn't the first time I've tasted the dark arts, it was just the most serious."
"Ok," said James simply without missing a beat.
"Ok?" questioned Lily hesitantly. She didn't expect James, someone who was so noble, so upstanding, and so good, to accept her so easily.
"Ok," he repeated steadily as he smiled at her. "You are still the woman I fell in love with, still the woman I love more than anything else. The dark magic hasn't changed you and I think that makes me love you more. You have good intentions Lily, you're working for the right side for the right reasons and that counts for something."
"Thanks," said Lily genuinely.
"Anytime love. Thank you for telling me the truth."
"It was difficult," admitted Lily. "But worth it."
"Good, now Sirius has gone to see Marlene and the baby, but he wanted me to tell you that today's lesson plan of yours was brutal…"
"Did he now?" Lily laughed and the conversation returned to lighter subjects.
Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Some questions for you to answer in a review if you so choose
What did you think of the battle at Hogsmeade?
What did you think of the Maruaders giving up the Map finally?
Opinion on Moody, Lily, Dumbledore and the dark arts and their project?
What do you think of James accepting Lily's dark habits so easily?
The Wedding chapter is next! Get excited!
Until the next time,
-AAA