Disclaimer: I don't own any Harry Potter or Harry Potter related copyrights. I retain all rights to any original characters, settings, or ideas.

"Stop staring at it," hissed Vicky as she sat painting her fingernails not far from Lily.

"But Vicky, you're getting married!" said Lily gleefully.

"I am not getting married!" Vicky harshly interrupted. "How many times do I have to tell you that it is a promise ring, not an engagement ring?"

Lily continued as if she hadn't heard. It made her feel better about her own early engagement when the biggest wedding detractor of all time was on that path herself. "And that ring is just so-"

"Unusual," Marlene interjected, tired of wedding talk. Between the announcement of Vicky and Remus's promise ring thing (cough cough engagement) less than a week ago and Lily's wedding later that day, she had had enough. And the knowing smile on Alice's face was probably going to kill her; they all knew it was only a matter of time before Frank proposed, but really did she have to be so smug about it?

"Yes, but that's why I like it," said Vicky snippily. She was trying to be on her best behavior for Lily, but Marlene just always seemed to rub her the wrong way.

Kindly Alice turned conversation to something else, and Vicky took a moment to look at her ring. Every time she glanced at it a little flame tickled the sides of her stomach and filled her with warmth. It was beautiful, and unusual certainly. As she had heard Marlene comment to Alice behind her back, "Who wants an engagement ring with a black stone in it?" Well Vicky did. She had once looked at Remus and longingly wished that she was a classic beauty with normal interests, but now she knew better. She was unusual, but that suited Remus, just as her simple gold band with a small princess cut black onyx in the center suited her. She wasn't quite yet sure that marriage suited her, but luckily Remus was willing to wait.

A few hours later, all of their hair had been teased and carefully arranged and their make-up applied. All that remained was to put on the dresses. The bridesmaids separated to different bedrooms and bathrooms in Alice's childhood home and put on the dresses that defied tradition and somehow did not look horrendous on all of them. When they returned to the master bedroom, they expected to see their friend looking gorgeous as only brides can, but the adjoining bathroom door was still closed.

"Lily?" asked Alice hesitantly as she knocked on the door. "Do you need help?"

"No, I'll be out in a moment," she promised.

Lily's friends exchanged confused looks but didn't say anything else. Within a minute the door had opened and Lily stepped out looking like a bride from a storybook. The satin material of the a-line silhouette caressed her curves without looking too tight, and the sweetheart neckline accentuated her bosom wonderfully. The lace that met the satin and decorated her upper chest and arms was so delicate it seemed that it would burst with a sneeze or even a summer breeze. The true wonder of the dress lay in the beadwork and crystals that decorated the bodice and traveled down the skirt and throughout the two meter train. It had taken three seamstresses over a dozen hours to create the intricate swirls, flowers, and leaves.

"Lily, you're a dream!" gushed Alice as she sniffled.

Marlene's sour expression softened and she grinned; Lily's glow was contagious. "You're getting married," she whispered.

Lily grinned and nodded as her two Hogwarts friends rushed toward her and surrounded her in a careful hug. Vicky stayed where she was by the door, sensing that something was amiss. She might not have known Lily for as long as Alice or Marlene, but she and Lily had been through many experiences that had bonded them on a much deeper level, surviving the prison cell in the Malfoy's basement for a start. As such, she could read Lily's microexpressions better than either Alice or Marlene.

"Lily," began Vicky with a false hesitancy that was meant only to fool Alice and Marlene. "Did you realize that you're missing an earring?"

The three girls across the room gasped in synchrony and only Vicky noticed that Lily overplayed it a bit because she wasn't truly surprised.

"Oh no!" whined Lily as she put her fingers on both earlobes. "Those were a wedding present from James! I just have to find them…"

"We'll help you look of course," said Alice soothingly.

"But they could be anywhere! I had both of them on this morning when I woke up I'm sure…" said Lily "But we've been all over the place since then!"

"We'll just have to separate and look in different places. Marlene, why don't you check the hair salon? Alice, how about you check that restaurant where we ate brunch? I'll check the downstairs here and Lily can take the upstairs," suggested Vicky.

"That sounds great," said Lily, seeming relieved before Alice or Marlene could change the plan.

"Ok, we'll be back soon. Don't fret Lily, we'll find your earring!" said Alice with a confident smile.

As soon as Marlene and Alice had disapparated, Vicky approached Lily and said knowingly, "Now where is the earring really?"

"On the bathroom counter," said Lily guiltily.

"And why have I sent Alice and Marlene on a wild hippogriff chase?"

"Because this is not what I wanted!" sobbed Lily as she hugged Vicky tightly.

"Erm… what? Getting married?" asked Vicky, confused. That was not what she expected.

"No!" yelled Lily fiercely. "I want to get married, but just not like this! I hate this dress and I wanted my hair down, but Mrs. Potter said that that wouldn't be appropriate! This necklace is heavy and clunky and old and I don't like it, but it's tradition! And Mrs. Potter reviewed the guest list with me last night and I don't know half the people there! And Mr. Potter and James said it was too dangerous for me to invite any of my muggle friends or family except my dad and my sisters! And do you know that a bride doesn't even walk down the aisle with her dad in wizarding weddings? That's what I dreamed of since Violet's wedding! Why is this all such a mess?"

"There, there," said Vicky awkwardly as she patted Lily on the back. "As I've been telling you all along, it's the marriage that matters, not the wedding. You're marrying the man you love and all you have to do is get through this day and then you have a lovely honeymoon to look forward to! Just keep thinking about what you get to do tonight for the first time…" Vicky smirked and Lily stopped crying.

"I suppose," she sniffled. "But I wanted to have the wedding day of my dreams, not just the wedding night…"

"Well buck up because that's not going to happen,' said Vicky in a no-nonsense way. "You'll have a good day because you're getting married and it will be fine, but you have to look for the little things to make you happy. At least there won't be those awful lilies everywhere! You have to remember that you did get your way on some things. Also think of it this way, the Potters all had to make a major sacrifice for you to marry James. It may not be important to you, but their blood status was important to them and after today it will be changed forever."

"You're right, I guess I can make some sacrifices," sighed Lily.

"Good! Now fix your make-up and find your earring because your friends will be back in a moment."

"Thanks Vicky," said Lily quietly. "Alice and Marlene just…"

"Wouldn't understand," finished Vicky. "I know."

"So everyone knows the plan?" growled Moody as he addressed the four girls he decided to personally supervise.

"Yes Alastor," sighed Lily, the excitement of her wedding ceremony being only a few minutes away making her frustrated at the delay. She just wanted to get to the Potter manor and get married already!

Acting as if he didn't hear her, Moody reviewed the plan again. "So I'm going to apparate to the gate of the Potter mansion first where three aurors are waiting. You three will all apparate at the same time to the same place exactly three minutes after I do. Five minutes after that if none of us has returned, you can apparate too Evans. You'll all get in the carriage right inside the gate, which will take you directly to the house. You are not to stop under any circumstances."

"Yes, we get it," snapped Lily. "The ceremony starts in fifteen minutes so we better get going!"

"Alright," growled Moody, though it looked like he wanted to chuckle. "Remember, wands out and constant vigilance!"

Lily and Alice groaned as Moody disapparated. Marlene and Vicky were lucky enough to not have heard that phrase eight million times.

Three minutes to the dot and with no sign of Moody, Lily ordered her friends to leave her. Four minutes later Lily was sick of waiting so she apparated. When she arrived outside of the familiar gate, everything seemed to be in perfect order. Her friends were calmly standing near the carriage on the other side of the gate and Moody and his aurors were standing, wands at the ready, in each compass direction at the perimeter of the circle she had been instructed to apparate within; everything was at it should have been, except…

It was too quiet. No one had noticed her arrival. Then suddenly she felt a presence behind her.

"Well Lillian, it has been a while, but time has been kind to you," drawled a distantly familiar voice.

"Richard!" gasped Lily as she whirled around her wand in her hand as Moody had instructed.

"Now that will not be necessary," said Richard as if he were talking to a small child. He grabbed the wand from her hand and summarily snapped it in half, tossing it to the ground as if it were any ordinary stick.

"You should know that I don't need a wand," growled Lily as she cast a spell that was meant to stun him.

Richard chuckled cruelly, and Lily wondered how she had ever felt happy with him. "Now, now, Lillian, no need to be so feisty! You are not the only one who has learned some things since we last met. Please take a moment to appreciate my remarkable entirely protective sphere. No one can see or hear what goes on inside, it nulls all magic performed inside, it cannot be broken by anyone except the one who created it, and whoever is inside of it is imprisoned until the creator decides to release him or her."

Lily was furious, but she tried to contain her rage because she knew it would only please him to see it. She clapped with a sarcastic dullness. "Very good Mr. Gills. Now when are you planning on letting me go? When I'm late for my wedding?"

"Poor silly, sad little Lillian. I am afraid you have a more pressing date to attend to and will not be able to make it to your sham of a ceremony this evening. I am to escort you to see the Dark Lord. He has very much wanted to speak with you, since you pulled off that little stunt a few weeks ago. I have been told that it was very impressive, and how shall I say it… dark?" he smirked. "After all that holier-than-thou talk of doing what is right and good, I see that it turns out that you are no different from the rest of us. Congratulations on delving into your birthright."

"I'm not like you!" shouted Lily. "I haven't gone dark and I won't! Ever! And I am not going anywhere with you!"

Ignoring her, which only served to make her angrier, Richard examined his immaculately clean nails, and then said, "Oh it appears that your associates have realized that you are now late."

Lily looked up and saw the worry in her friends' faces and the tense stance of the aurors. Finally Moody disapparated, and Lily assumed he went back to Alice's to check on her. Moody returned looking angry, but Lily saw the underlying fear. Lily couldn't hear what he said but Marlene and Vicky disapparated and Alice got in the carriage towards Potter manor. Moody stayed put, but the other aurors spread out, clearly looking for her or any suspicious activity.

"Why are you doing this?" snapped Lily, her emotions getting the better of her.

"Tsk, tsk," said Richard as he shook his head as if saddened. "Clarice really could not teach you any manners could she? Now be patient and let us see how this charade unfolds. The Dark Lord asked that I bring you to him immediately, but I just cannot help myself. I simply must see the look on James Potter's face when I whisk away his bride."

"You wouldn't dare," said Lily shaking with rage.

Richard chuckled again. "Just watch."

Little sparks of magic were popping off of Lily's skin and disappearing into the air instead of dancing as she had expected. Now sure that she would not be able to perform magic, Lily physically launched herself at her former boyfriend. Despite Lily's physical fighting abilities, Richard easily got the better of her due to the cumbersome restrictions of her dress.

Richard sighed as he pressed Lily's face further into the dirt road and increased the weight on her wrists, which he had pinned behind her back. "Now just look at what you've done; you have gone and dirtied your dress! And oh dear," he said without the sympathy that should have been afforded to the sound of bone breaking and a woman screaming. "It seems you have gone and broken your wrist too. But cheer up love, here comes your beloved."

Lily was barely afforded enough room to move her head and neck so that she could see James running down the drive toward the gate with Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Alice not far behind. Beyond them Lily could just see the frenzy of activity among the other wedding guests. There was no sign of her father or sisters. Just as James reached the gate, Marlene and Vicky apparated and both shook their heads sadly. James looked around wildly and tears dripped down Lily's face and onto the ground.

"Ah, I think that is our cue. Now be a good little girl and behave," Richard instructed. He heaved her up from the ground and pinned her up against his body. He placed a firm grip on her broken wrist as he kept it pinned behind her back and used his other hand to press a small dagger up to her throat. Lily didn't know if it was for dramatic effect or to actually keep her in line.

Then all of a sudden Lily could hear everything. There were angry shouts, screams of fear, and calls of reason. And then silence again. Lily locked eyes with James and the tears streamed down her face now. "I'm sorry," she mouthed to him, because her voice was lost. Lily had never seen James look so serious.

"Well Mr. Potter, I regret to inform you that the Dark Lord has requested the presence of Miss Evans this evening and so she will be unavailable to bind herself to you. So sorry for the inconvenience," Richard said as he chuckled darkly. "Do not expect her to return... though if the Dark Lord feels merciful, he might send you some pieces. Any request for your favorite? Her delightful ass perhaps? That always was my personal favorite…"

Richard released Lily's wrist and used his wand to wave away all of the spells that were coming his way. "Ta ta!" and with that he and Lily were gone.

James collapsed in despair.

Marlene screamed.

Moody cursed.

Alice cried.

Vicky was numb.

Sirius shouted meaningless words.

Remus stared.

Peter clutched Beth protectively.

Anita Baker scribbled furiously.

The newly arrived crowd murmured. Some in shock others in hidden glee.

"What do we do now?" asked Mr. Potter as he wheeled to the front of the crowd. Years of training had taught him to push feelings aside and that was certainly coming in handy today. "Albus?"

"I do not know," said Dumbledore sadly and quietly.

James looked up to his revered former headmaster and stared. "You don't know? How could you not bloody know? He's going to kill Lily and you don't know?"

"Prongs," said Sirius quietly in an attempt to calm his best mate as he crouched down and put a supporting hand on James's shoulder.

James shrugged off his best mate's help, stood up, and walked to stand in front of Dumbledore.

"You're Dumbledore! You know everything! Now tell me how to save Lily!" James demanded.

"James," said Dumbledore sagely and evenly. "We will all do the best we can. Right now we must regroup and examine the situation…"

"I don't want to bloody examine the bloody situation!" James began what was sure to be an impressive tirade, had Vicky not stunned him.

Sirius whirled on Vicky and began shouting at her. She didn't listen and when he had finished she simply said, "It had to be done. He wasn't going to accomplish anything in that state and no one else was going to get anything done either. We'll rouse him in a bit when we have a plan."

"That makes sense," said Sirius grudgingly.

Amelia Bones strode up and amplified her voice, "All Magical Law Enforcement personnel report to your respective offices immediately. All Department heads meet in my office in five minutes." As her employees scrambled to do her bidding, Bones ended the charm on her voice and approached her old friend Christopher Potter. "I'd like for you to join me in my office as well Christopher if you are up to it. I'm sure your point of view would be enlightening."

Christopher nodded and after Amelia had walked away he called Timothy Striker, who had agreed to leave the Auror Academy for a record third time in one year to attend the wedding of the son of his closest friend.

Before Christopher could even say a thing, Striker told him, "I will secure your home and watch over your family. I will organize the auror trainees and make them useful. Let me know if there is anything else I can do to help."

Christopher nodded and Striker marched off, shouting orders as he went.

"Sirius," Christopher called next. Sirius immediately appeared at his surrogate father's side. "Watch over James for me."

"Yes sir."

"Don't let him leave the house until I return. This will not be an easy task; have Peter help you. Remus is to look after Mrs. Potter; please let your friends know what they are to do and help Director Striker with anything else he may need. Can you do this?"

"Yes sir," said Sirius confidently, though he felt anything but.

"I have faith in you. I will be back." With that Christopher took the portkey handed to him by Amelia Bones. In his weakened state he was unable to apparate.

"Why did this happen?" Sirius asked no one in particular. With a heavy heart he trudged toward his friends, levitating James to follow him along the way.

Lily groaned as she regained consciousness. Literally every part of her hurt. The parts that weren't scraped and crusted in blood were severely bruised or burned. She tried to take stock of her surroundings and assess her condition as she had been taught at the Institute, but the effort was too great. She plunged back into darkness.

James groaned as he regained consciousness. His head hurt and his heart felt heavy, though he did not yet know why. He opened his eyes and saw his room looking just as it had when he woke up that morning. Yet, why did things seem so gloomy and dark? Oh! This morning! The day of his wedding! James sat up in bed very quickly. Had his nightmare come true? Had he slept through his wedding? Then the memories came crashing back to him. It was worse than any nightmare he could have conjured. Oh Lily… James sprang out of bed and reached into his pocket, looking for his wand, but it wasn't there. It wasn't on his nightstand either. Frantically James began tearing his bedroom apart. How was he supposed to take on Voldemort and rescue Lily without his wand?

Alerted by the sounds of furniture being tossed around, Sirius gingerly stepped into the room.

"You aren't going to find it," he told James matter-of-factly. "Your mother took your wand to keep you from doing something stupid."

"But Lily!" was all James could manage as his mind clouded with anger and fear.

"I know," said Sirius gruffly. "Dumbledore has gathered the Order, and Bones has gathered the Law Enforcement people, and everyone is working on this. We'll find her."

"What time is it?" James demanded to know.

"Half past four in the morning," Sirius answered dully.

"She could be dead by now! She's been missing for over twelve hours!"

"I know."

James sat back down on his bed. "She's my whole life Padfoot. I don't know what I would do without her."

"We'll save her in time; we just have to," Sirius answered, hope evident in his voice. "She's strong."

"I don't know if anyone is strong enough for that," mumbled James.

"Well if anyone is, it's your little genius," was Sirius's bad attempt at a joke. Things were definitely bad when even Sirius couldn't crack a joke. James stared dully at the floor, and Sirius mumbled something about checking on Mrs. Potter.

Sometime later James fell into a haunted slumber.

Days passed and rumors abounded, but they all proved to be groundless. Slowly but surely Amelia Bones cut resources off of the case. James and Christopher shouted angrily at her, but they knew she was right; Lily Evans was not the only project that the Ministry had on its plate right now. She was not the only missing person and she was certainly not their only concern.

Dumbledore and the Order members persevered long after the Ministry had halted. Lily was an integral part of their ranks and so they had more at stake in seeing her safely returned from the hellhole that was Voldemort's grasp.

All the concrete information that Order could gather was that Lily was Voldemort's top hostage at the time and so she was being held in his personal residence. Knowledge of her whereabouts was top secret and the upper echelon was certainly not talking. In other words, they had no idea where she was or even how to find her.

The days bled into a week and then two. Christopher Potter had taken a turn for the worse and was now constantly confined to his sickbed. Marilyn Potter had also taken to bed, haunted by the disagreements she and Lily had had in the weeks and months leading up to the wedding. Sirius remained living with Marlene and focused on helping her take care of her daughter, though they both checked up on James daily.

Vicky returned to the Institute, but wrote letters multiple times a day with suggestions and requests for updates. Remus temporarily moved back to England and into the Potter Manor in an effort to hold the pieces together. He was assisted by James's aunt and uncle, who also moved into the manor to try and coax their family members to eat, shower, and sleep on a somewhat normal basis.

James was a wreak as expected. He hardly ever showered and certainly didn't shave. He remained in the same clothes for days at a time and barely ate or slept. He filled most of his days pouring over a map of Britain and flying, his sole comfort.

The only thing that broke up the time was the arrival of a black owl one day. Sirius and Marlene were at the Potter's kitchen table, trying to coax James to eat something, while the house elves watched the baby, when suddenly the owl swooped in and deposited a Howler on James's lap.

Marlene and Sirius exchanged a worried glance and Sirius reached for the Howler, when suddenly it opened. Screams erupted from the scarlet parchment and echoed throughout the kitchen. House elves and humans alike covered their ears, except James. Even though, she was obviously in great pain, at least Lily was alive enough to scream. At this point in his despair, any connection to Lily was precious to him. Too soon, the screams were ended and an evil, cruel voice filled the ensuing silence.

"Know this Mr. James Potter: your little mudblood plaything is enduring pain beyond measure. She is strong, but I have broken stronger. She is not yet beyond all repair; if you would see her alive again bring the head of Albus Dumbledore to Malfoy Manor. Any deception will cause an excruciating and sudden end for your beloved."

The silence that followed was painful. The house elves scattered, leaving the three adults alone with their burdens.

"She's alive," whispered James.

"I'm taking this to Dumbledore," said Sirius angrily as he snatched the Howler off of the table. "Right now."

Before James could process what was happening, Sirius had left the room. Marlene stopped James before he could hinder Sirius. Unfortunately, try as he might, Dumbledore was not able to extract anything useful from the Howler. And as tempting as the idea was, not even James was crazy enough to think that killing Albus Dumbledore was a good idea.

Lily sighed bitterly but shallowly. As the days went by (how many she was not sure), she learned to cope with her situation a bit better. Luckily for her, Voldemort was a busy man and so her meetings with him did not occur daily. And furthermore, her tormenter liked his prey to be fresh for him to play with and so someone came in to heal her after she passed out from the pain each time. She never saw who it was and she assumed that was to be part of her torture; she hadn't seen or heard another human being (she didn't consider Voldemort to be human), since her imprisonment. She also hadn't seen the light of day in that long, which strangely, bothered her more. She wasn't exactly scared of the dark, but she certainly did not care for it one bit and now she was plunged into complete darkness for days at a time.

Her stomach growled and not for the first time. Along with the lack of sunshine, Lily had been deprived of all food. She assumed that her healer was giving her a nutrition potion, because she hadn't yet died, but it still left her stomach painfully empty. Once in a while water appeared near her, but not nearly enough to quench her thirst. The first day or so she had refused to drink because it was given to her in a shallow bowl and because her hands were constantly bound to prevent her from doing wandless magic, she had to lap the water up like a dog. Although she had the awful feeling that someone was watching her and laughing as she did it and drinking like an animal was terribly slow and frustrating, she couldn't resist for long.

She tried to remember what she had been taught in her Life and Survival class, but her days at the Institute seemed so far away now and so silly. She had given up the idea of escaping a while ago; it seemed hopeless. As soon as she had been able she crawled along her cell trying to find a potential weakness. All she learned was that it was a solid rock box, probably underground because it was completely dark and felt rather damp. It was approximately four meters by three meters in size and she didn't know for sure how tall it was; she knew for sure it was taller than her and it felt as if it continued on for a long ways above her head. She couldn't find any sort of door or even a crack in the rock and there were no signs to point to where the cell might be located.

All she could focus on now was keeping herself alive and as mentally stable as possible. She hadn't yet despaired of James or Dumbledore coming to rescue her. To protect her sanity Lily constructed an alternate reality that she tried to escape to when conscious. It didn't always work, but sometimes was better than no times.

Lily sighed again and closed her eyes, though it didn't matter since it was no darker with her eyelids covering her eyes. She breathed deeply and evenly and concentrated on entering the flowery forest where James waited for her in a cute cottage with a roaring fire in the fireplace and a big soft bed with a beautiful and thick quilt. Birds chirped as she skipped down the path, leaves caressing her face as she went. A cute rabbit peeked at her from beyond a bush, and then suddenly she was knocked to the ground by a big mangy mutt! Oh Sirius…

Meanwhile Severus Snape sat brooding in the study of his childhood home. He had just learned from a drunken Rodolphus Lestrange that Lily Evans was being kept hostage in the Dark Lord's lair. He had told her to be careful! He just knew that James Potter wasn't up to the task of protecting her… She was special and Potter just didn't… just could not understand that! If she had only been more understanding of the path he had chosen, none of this would have happened; he could have kept her safe and he could have made her happy just as he did all those years before she started dating that… imbecile. Snape smiled a little as the word entered his thoughts.

Then his smile soured as he imagined the pain that imbecile was going through. As Lestrange had described it, Lily had been snatched right in right of Potter's eyes just minutes before their wedding. As hard as he tried to prevent the idea from seeping into his mind, it came anyway: how would he feel if it was him that Lily was stolen from just before their wedding? He couldn't deny that the idea of marrying Lily had occurred to him frequently throughout the past decade… If he were to marry someone, it would be her.

Bitterly he then noted that no one would be marrying Lily if she wasn't rescued soon. Lestrange didn't know what kind of condition Lily was in because neither he nor anyone else had seen her, but Snape knew it could not have been good. It was remarkable that she was alive at all really; Severus hoped that she was not leaking information about the Guardians to Voldemort because he and Richard had worked so incredibly hard to keep that knowledge out of the Dark Lord's hands. Why couldn't Potter just pull through and rescue her already? Then he wouldn't be faced with this kind of decision.

If he worked to free her, not that he was even sure he would be successful, she could go on and marry Potter and the Guardian secrets would safe and she would be alive and happy. Maybe not with him, but at least she would be happy. And if she were alive then there would always be the potential for her to be with him. But if he tried and failed… a slow and painful death would be sure to come to both of them.

If he did nothing and simply left it up to Potter and that fool Dumbledore then she would surely be tortured, maybe leak all of their secrets, and probably die in the very near future. Although he had been living without Lily's affection for quite some time, he still could not imagine living in a world in which she didn't exist as anything but a memory. How could it be that he would never see her again?

His breath hitched in his throat as he saw the flash of auburn hair that so often preoccupied his conscious thoughts and followed him into his dreams. She was just standing there, watching the battle in front of her as if she had nothing better to do. Bile rose up in Snape's throat, burning him. She was a better duelist, a better fighter than that! How was he supposed to trust her to keep herself alive when he couldn't watch her if she was going to do stupid stuff like this?

Snape sighed. This wasn't the first… event he had attended in his cloak and mask but it certainly was the largest. If he would stop and pay attention to his own feelings for a moment then he would realize that he was overwhelmed too, but Severus learned from day one that independent thought was not tolerated and feelings only got one punished or killed. He had been locking his feelings away since he was a young child, but Lily had been the key to that lock; he felt things around her. And now what he was feeling was fear.

Yes they had their differences. He had said and done some things that he now regretted, but so had she! He thought that when she went away to that school of hers his feelings for her would end: out of sight, out of mind. For a while they did diminish, but then he saw the engagement announcement of James and Lily in the paper and a mixture of jealousy, loathing, desire, resentment, and surprise flared up in him, and though he had tried Severus hadn't quite been able to quash it since then. All of the articles in the Prophet about the wedding certainly didn't help either. Like the small child he was never allowed to be, if Severus couldn't have the toy (Lily) then no one should have it (especially not his enemy).

This wasn't fair! Here he was feeling protective and fearful like a boyfriend would, and yet he didn't get all of those quiet moments of looking into her eyes and feeling her warmth like he was sure a boyfriend would. Where in Merlin's name was that useless and idiotic oaf Potter anyway? Shouldn't he be here to knock some sense into Lily and get her out of harm's way? Sigh. It seemed like he would have to get her out of there or watch her die in front of him. But he couldn't just tell her to get out of the way; long ago Dumbledore had instilled in him, as well as Lily, the idea that every experience could be turned into an opportunity for learning.

He loved the way he felt her body tense as he pressed the tip of his wand into her neck, but he loved the way she relaxed at the sound of his voice even more. He tried to suppress the thoughts of pressing his lips to her neck, but the scent of her overwhelmed him and flooded him with fantasies. His stride was even and his breathing was calm as he led her away; the only person who probably could have detected his inner turmoil was Lily, but luckily for him she was facing away from him.

As she told him she knew of his identity, hope fluttered like a butterfly in his chest. She still knew him, really knew him. But then he detected the undertones of disgust in her words, along with the echoes of past affection. Guilt drowned the butterflies as he told her what he wanted her to hear. More bitterness seeped into his words than he would have liked, but she didn't storm away so he thought things were going okay. Then all too soon, HE appeared and ruined the moment. Things went black and Lily was gone from his life once again.

The despair Severus felt as he woke up in the alley in Hogsmeade alone, not knowing if Lily had lived or died at the hands of his master, for her knew that she would challenge him, washed over him again and his choice was made.

Author's Note: This was a big, and I am sure, shocking chapter and I don't think I should guide your reviews with questions this time. Please feel free to speak your mind, whether you hate me, you are angry with me, disappointed, sad… whatever! I am looking forward to hearing from each of you!

Until the next time,

-AAA