This chapter was written with SSLE years ago. Thanks SSLE for your help then :) I made changes from our original draft as the story changed through time. I accept constructive criticism, I thank everyone who's reviewed, alerted, once again thank you for your support and Mimi for remaining constant to this fic.
"How long how long will I slide
Separate my side I dont
I dont believe its bad
Slit my throat
Its all I ever
I heard your voice through a photograph
I thought it up it brought up the past
Once you know you can never go back
Ive got to take it on the otherside
Centuries are what it meant to me
A cemetery where I marry the sea
Stranger things could never change my mind
Ive got to take it on the otherside
Take it on the otherside
Take it on
Take it on
How long how long will I slide
Separate my side I dont
I dont believe its bad
Slit my throat
Its all I everPour my life into a paper cup
The ashtrays full and Im spillin my guts
She wants to know am I still a slut
Ive got to take it on the otherside
Scarlet starlet and shes in my bed
A candidate for my soul mate bled
Push the trigger and pull the thread
Ive got to take it on the otherside
Take it on the otherside
Take it on
Take it on
How long how long will I slide
Separate my side I dont
I dont believe its bad
Slit my throat
Its all I ever
Turn me on take me for a hard ride
Burn me out leave me on the otherside
I yell and tell it that
Its not my friend
I tear it down I tear it down
And then its born again
How long how long will I slide
Separate my side I dont
I dont believe its bad
Slit my throat
Its all I ever
How long I dont believe its bad
Slit my throat
Its all I ever"
~How Long by Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Diana was playing with her toys. Her grandmother helped her pick the fabrics for her new dress. She was a peculiar child, everyone said so. Her fifth birthday much to everyone's sadness had been on the day her father died. She missed her father a lot, he was always attentive and lavished her with animals, dresses. Everything she'd ask he'd give to her. Her mother was more of the scholastic type, she wanted to make sure the heir apparent received the best education. "What is wrong sweetheart, are you not enjoying my present? Remember you have to smile for your mother" Mary said lifting her granddaughter and desired queen's chin up.
Diana nodded. "Your mother is very sick and she needs to be smiled at" Mary reminded her for a second time.
Her mother would be proud to see her in green and silver colors, the Tudor color and the colors of royalty. When she heard her mother had fallen from the stairs by her governess and Archbishop of Canterbury she had grown fearful. She was grateful her prayers, guided by Cranmer, had helped her mummy but she was always afraid that God would claim her too soon like he did with her daddy.
"Nothing is going to happen to your mother sweetheart, I am watching her and your father is too from heaven" Mary got a smile from her granddaughter at the mention of her father being in heaven. The child was Jane Seymour's image, and like her late stepmother and queen she could be easily manipulated and agreeable to every one of her liking.
If Annie failed to produce a male heir, this child would be the next queen of England and she Mary? She would be the closest thing that would remain of Princess Diana's family; she would be -in all but name- true queen of England.
"Why couldn't I go see mama today?"
Mary's eyebrows furrowed. Had Annie not heeded her instructions? Diana continued on pouting ignoring her grandmother's confusion. "The Earl of Whilstshire and Viscount Rochford said I could not because I could disturb mama" As usual with everyone except her direct family, she always used titles to refer to other family members, in this case
Mary fully knelt and took the child into her arms for a powerful embrace. "Don't worry sweetheart I don't know why they are there, but I will make sure you visit mama today alright?"
Diana's eyes shined but her happiness was short lived. Eustace cleared his throat as he came into the Princess' chamber.
The little Princess and her grandmother stood and acknowledged his presence.
She walked to him and held out her hand. "You forgot to bow Your Grace" she said in a voice that was as plain and simple as late Jane Seymour's.
Chapuys bowed to her respectfully. "I am sorry to interrupt" He said his voice neutral. "But I don't think Your Highness is going to be able to see the Queen Dowager, since she entered labor a few hours ago"
Diana looked at him oddly. "I want to be there, I want to make sure my mother is in good hands" she wheeled to her grandmother "Grandmother you should be there, she should be there" she said turning back to Eustace.
"Your Highness..." He sighed "The physicians want her to be alone. This is a difficult birth even though I am sure that with God's grace your mother will be alright"
"Then grandmother should be there" Her pouting turned into more insistence when she saw no one was heeding her command. "I want my grandmother to be there Your Grace!"
"He is right, dear" Mary interrupted "If the physicians say that it's better for us not to be there then we should respect"
"Your grandmother can come with me" Chapuys said "But there is no guarantee that they're going to let her in, they are not letting anyone in not even the Queen Dowager's ladies"
"I would rather she goes alone" she said surprising her grandparents. Mary had always seen Diana was a child with an adult's mind, but she still held on to childish behavior, it was so unusual seeing her act and speak like an adult. But she held on firm as her great ancestors on her mother's side would in times of great crisis.
"Your Grace can stay here with me and keep me company. Grandmother" she turned to Mary again "will you keep me informed?"
Mary looked down at the expectant eyes and answered yes with a powerful nod.
"Thank you lady grandmother"
Mary bowed a deep curtsy and hurried to see if there were any news about her daughter's condition. She found as Eustace told them, every lady, every minister and all family members waiting outside as Annie's screams echoed outside her closed door.
"You can sit" Diana said back in the comfort of her room to her unknown grandfather.
Chapuys bowed to her and his heart beat fast with fear of what was happening to his secret daughter. He sat as she had told him to and he placed his hands in front of his face, as if praying. He wanted to be inside, with Annie, telling her everything was going to be alright. He wished indeed that he had told her before she entered in labor, that he knew how much she appreciated him and needed his reassurance.
He felt the Princess' small hand on his forehead "Can I trust you if I ask you something you will answer me truthfully?"
"Of course you can...and I suspect that was why Your Highness's wanted your grandmother to go alone"
She smiled at his wit, he was not like the others, flatterers and courtiers who were only friends with her because who her daddy was –or had been. He was bold and did not see her as a Princess.
"I like you, my father surrounded himself with outspoken men, he always listened but he also reminded them with your help never to step outside their limits. Tell me Your Grace, do you really believe God is watching over my mother and my siblings?"
"Yes" Chapuys answered truthfully "I do. I believe that God...loves us all. I don't believe he punishes you or that you suffer afterwards, after you die. I think that what one has to suffer, one suffers in life. Your mother Your Highness is a very good woman. God would not let her suffer"
"Why is that so? He took my father on the day he promised me to teach me jousting" She mentioned. Eustace moved his head slightly. He did not know Edward's affection for Diana extended that far. But he guessed it was to be feared, Diana was, he'd boasted, his greatest treasure and, he'd added when her grandmother was near, his pearl.
"That day now belongs to my father's bitter memory" She finalized.
"But it should not. It should make you happy, for you remember your father, and how he loved you and how you loved him. Perhaps God took your father, for He knew that your father would take care of you and your mother from above"
She shook her head lightly doing her best not to show sadness like her father, he never showed sadness not even when he had every reason to. "I think my father was destined to die, he was always sick, God could not save my father but I want to trust the physicians and the midwives to do their best for my mother. I want her to live"
"Yes" Chapuys raised tentatively a hand and touched her cheek "May I?" He whispered and she nodded sighing deeply "Your mother is not going to die. I promise she's not going to die" Little Diana nodded and leaned further into his hand. The Lady Elizabeth, her grand-aunt and her grand-uncle and she had a rough start, but they were good people and cared deeply for her. She left her former governess' classes wondering why her husband had similar eyes like hers. They weren't related yet she felt so comfortable in his presence.
"You have a lot of good will for your niece" It was not a question but an open statement. It always puzzled her why was her mother not the filial daughter she ought to be to her parents, her loving grandparents who were always there when Diana's parents couldn't be.
Chapuys smiled expecting this "Your Aunt loves your mother deeply...I love your Aunt and have always wanted to share her life so I...have become very attached to the Queen."
"Then if my mother lives, can you intercede on my behalf with a special task?"
Chapuys' eyebrows rose "You are a young negotiator aren't you?" She looked away blushing "Come tell me? What do you me want to fix?" He asked before winking
She stepped closer leaning to his ear, she whispered: "Can you influence my mother to talk more nicely to her parents? Father tried but she was always mad, I don't know why but grandmother watched after her these last days, I want them to be friends like father wanted. Would you Your Grace?" She asked stepping back, her big sky blue eyes going wide looking at him in expectation.
Chapuys sighed. He didn't want to do this. He shouldn't. This could take Annie away from them. It would be difficult as hell. Elizabeth would not like it. But her blue eyes reminded him so much of his own. Then he smiled and ended up nodding "Once she's better I'll talk to her. But I can't promise you anything. Your mother is as stubborn as you"
In that moment they heard a different cry. It was Alexei who entered "Eustace" He said breathless as if he had come running "it's over...Annie has given birth to twins..." He made a pause and then whispered "One of them is a boy"
Before Eustace could stand on his two feet and grab his cane, Alexei added after bending over touching his knees to catch his breath, in a grave voice. If he would have been careful he would have known it was not proper to raise his voice in front of the child. But was it perhaps because he resented her? In a way she represented what he and Annie could have, what he knew they were meant to before Edward stuck his nose and lured Annie.
"She has fallen into a coma, they can't wake her up and she has developed a fever. Even if she breaks from the fever she might not wake up ..."
He didn't get to finish as Diana cried "No!" she grabbed her doll and threw it at the door where Alexei was. He stepped aside dodging her throw.
"Diana!" Chapuys said and grabbed her arm "That's not going to happen; your mother is going to wake up, remember what I promised? But you must calm down alright? You calm down and then you go there with me, and you can see her yes?"
"No! I want mama to wake up now! It is his fault, why bring bad news here! Get out!" She screamed at Alexei "Get out! I want my mother! I don't want my siblings" They were not worth it if they took her mother's life away. "I want my mother!" She fell on her knees where Eustace painfully knelt feeling the pain in his knee and his heart as he watched the small Princess, whom her father had claimed was a rock, cry. "Go what are you waiting for?" She said crying harder, she used her other arm to grab a pebble and threw it at Alexei.
Chapuys gave him a nod and Alexei ended up leaving pitying the young child. "Shhh" Chapuys whispered taking her in his arms "Your mother is going to be alright, I promise. She needs you now, she needs you to be strong."
"I don't want to see my siblings, I don't want them it should be mother who lives not them, they are not worth it" But nobody would listen to her, she knew that the kingdom would be signing jubilee for their new king. If her mother died nobody would care as long as her sacrifice was worthwhile.
"No...look, you must believe the best. Your mother is going to live and you are all going to be very happy." He cleaned the tears off her face "It's alright to cry. Do you want to see her?" She nodded softly. "Come then" And she and Chapuys went together to the lobby where everyone was.
They were all cheering at the expense of her mother. None of these people truly cared for her mother, they had pretended to care because of their future king she carried. How foolish Diana had been to think they cared. Her grandma had warned her not to trust them, she told them they were false friends of hers and her mother's, and she had refused to believe her. Now she regretted not heeding her words before. Archbishop Cranmer who had sworn he was her mother's friend was instead rejoicing and congratulating the physicians for the safe delivery of their next king. He and the rest of her father's counselors (she guess they were now her brother's) were already speaking of continuing the reform with their new king. The ladies worried about her mother, but they were mostly concerned with pampering that stupid small girl one of the midwives showed off as they gathered around her.
Her Grandmother was inside her mother's room along with the Countess of Hertford and Marques in her own right, of Pembroke, her Aunt Elizabeth. Her grandmother –with a select few of her ladies- was looking after her mother.
"Mama!" Diana let go of Eustace's hand and knelt next to her mother's side "Please mother don't leave me, grandmother tell me she won't, she doesn't deserve this"
Mary playing the perfect grandmother, knelt next to her. "Of course she won't, you are right no one deserves this, I am sure your mother will wake up, give her time sweetheart" she said kissing the young princess' forehead. She was slightly disappointed that her daughter had given birth where all her ancestors had failed, to a healthy boy.
Elizabeth looked at them "The Princess wished to see her mother" Chapuys softly explained.
Elizabeth licked her lips and looked at the heartbreaking scene. Diana was kneeling next to her mother's side -who was lying motionless- with Mary holding her hand. "Your Highness if I may, it is not suitable for young children to be here at this moment, your mother ..."
Diana interrupted snapping at her Aunt "I do not have a care right now on what is proper, I would rather be with my mother than with two stupid little babies!"
"Elizabeth" Chapuys said "Let her"
"Please mama" Diana whispered "You can't die, I need you. I lost papa, I cannot lost you too"
"Diana she will be fine, if you and me pray hard enough God will answer our prayers, you must believe" Mary said caressing the child's cheek.
"His Grace said the same thing, but is all that Duke's fault, he didn't mind my presence and said it aloud, he always hated my father, I bet this was his doing" Diana said remembering how Alexei had barged into her rooms and recalled all the other times he had looked at her mother longingly and the hatred he showed when he was forced to pact for his country's sake with her father.
"It's not" Chapuys said "He was scared"
"He didn't think"
She acted as if she didn't hear him "Mama please" She shook her mother to get an answer but there was none. She had stopped being her lady mother, she was simply her mama and Diana wished she could just wake up to tell her how much she missed her and prayed for her and her siblings who were living now at her expense.
"Obviously he didn't care to hurt a little child" Mary said dryly looking on to her pleading granddaughter. "Diana, little one, mama will be fine why don't you come with me and let us pray, the physicians will watch her I will make sure of it"
"Promise?" Diana said blinking away the tears that threatened to fall.
"I do, now come, let us all give the Queen Dowager some breathing space so she can recuperate" Mary said as, the physicians came strolling after they left. Eustace watched Diana, holding Mary's hand, pass Alexei with a cold glare.
Chapuys stood and went to Elizabeth's side who hugged him
"I am sorry" she said after they entered their bedroom.
Eustace didn't say anything, watching Annie like that so frail ... lifeless, had taken all the breath out of him.
"I am scared" He whispered "I told Diana that I wasn't but I am"
Elizabeth knelled before him "Of course you are, but that's natural"
"If Annie dies I swear to you ..."
"Eustace please don't"
"I will! I will kill Mary with my bare hands, a die for a die Elizabeth."
"You are not that man anymore Eustace" Elizabeth said seriously.
"She's my daughter I cannot lose her" He whispered
"Shhh" She whispered and with her hand behind his head, she kissed his lips lovingly
"You won't" she said breaking the kiss "but much as I hate to burden you with this, we must make sure that your grandson and my nephew doesn't fall into the wrong hands, Mary will be vying to get a piece of the cake, she has ambitions for her daughters. If her plan to make Diana queen was spoiled you can bet she now has some other wicked scheme under her sleeve"
Chapuys nodded absently but if he were to be completely honest he couldn't worry about that now. "Until Annie is fine I cannot think about that. I trust that you will take care of that. Annie's ladies like you. Use them"
Elizabeth nodded and took off his coat "You should rest"
Eustace fell on the bed. How could he rest when his daughter was between life or death? Nothing seemed to matter anymore, politics, court, Mary, Philip, all be damned! He just wanted his daughter to be well.
His and Elizabeth's two boys came in to offer their father comfort.
George the more empathic of the two, told him -"Our sister is of a strong stock, she will be fine, she told us before we left her to give you this" He held out his hand, Eustace opened his eyes and looked at what George was holding. It was the pendant his wife had given to Annie on her sixth birthday.
Chapuys smiled. Elizabeth kissed his temple. "See? She remembered you. You're with her. She is with all of us in our prayers" Ever the cordial woman, Elizabeth knew how to sooth her husband.
Eustace ruffled George's hair "I know"
Their oldest twenty year old son and holder of the titles that had once belonged to his maternal grandfather, Andrew, nodded and sat in the bed next to his father. "Annie is as stubborn as a mule, everything she does is for defiance, she will beat death just to make a statement" he said with a small smile "you will see, she will make it I just know it, she has never backed down from a promise before"
Eustace laughed "You are right...you got that from her" He whispered which made Andrew laugh
Andrew and George looked at each other and decided to leave their parents alone .
Chapuys felt tired but he didn't want to sleep
"Eustace you sired a strong girl who is not afraid of everything, remember when she said she couldn't have her own horse like Andrew and she won his birthday gift after a race with her own little pony? I remember how proud you were then, it might not be tomorrow or a week, but she will wake up and you will be proud again"
He nodded and turned to face her "I am glad you are here" He whispered to her
She smiled and placed her hand on his cheek
"I married the right sister"
She chuckled "Well the other didn't really offer much competition"
I am not sure if to referr to coma was as such back then, if it is not I apologize and ask you to ommit this mistake. Send your reviews. Enjoy your sunday.