＼(＾▽＾*)Kenny-chan Cant Spelll(*＾▽＾)／
A/N: Missed me? (l u l*) Ahaha U no u did ^_^ Well here it is, Chapter uh...ummm... I CANT REMEMBER THE PRESSURE THE PRESSURE! ＼(≥O≤)／
Disclaimer: Sasuke and Naruto Sitting in a tree, both belong to K Mashi... (･ω･｀)
...Geez That was right on the spot too. (OuO)
"You… you're kidding right?" Sasuke choked, looking in awe at his ninja sensei.
"Yep! You heard me right, Sasuke-kun!" Kakashi clapped happily. The raven smirked; this was going to be so easy.
"Ano, Kakashi! We already had this sorta thing, lets um have a eating contest to prove who is seme instead!" Naruto begged tugging on the masked man's Joinin vest.
"No, no, no Naruto, this is different!" Kakashi smiled walking off followed by the blond, desperate to pull him in a different direction, and a raven, staking behind the two in a very emo is manner.
"Hmf, fine but why do we have to talk to… him." Naruto growled.
"Uh yeah, why do we? I think I loose brain cells just looking at that face of his." The Uchiha muttered with a frown.
"Hee, hee, that is precisely the reason where going to be taking to Mr. Smiles! You see, he will be Naruto's new personal trainer."
That stopped the kids dead in their tracks.
"Personal trainer! H-Him! B-But-!"
"What! Why?-"
A hand was thrown across each of their faces, silencing them from any more complaints.
"Where here!" Kakashi shouted upon arriving at the front door of a small light blue house. Instantaneously the front door flew open.
"Konichiwa Kakashi-sensei, Naruto-chan, Sasuke-san." Sai smiled (?) as he made his way to the trio.
"EH! Why is he san, while I'm chan!" Naruto wined pointing at his boyfriend.
"Yo Sai, so have you heard about your new mission? Assigned by me personally." The masked man sang joyfully.
The pale boy (not to be confused with the slightly less pain Sasuke) continued smiling as he shook his head slowly.
Naruto swore he felt a snake run down his back.
"No, I'm sorry sensei I have not. Would you please inform me of it?" The creepy boy asked, no emotion inking threw his words.
"Well of course Sai! Sasuke and Naruto want to do it-"
"Way to be blunt." Sasuke sighed.
"OI! I don't want this guy knowing my business!" The blond stammered.
"-But you see," Kakashi continued, not giving a rat-ass about either comment.
"They can't. Because they can't agree on who will be the submissive one and who will dominate. You see it's a very big problem. So we are deciding to have a battle per say. Who ever acts more like the seme, get's a seme point. There are ten rounds, so far Sasuke has two and Naruto has one. I have decided to give both of them a little help. Naruto needs help in controlling his emotions, so I have chosen you as his new teacher. Trust me for this next one he's gonna need some help." Kakashi said, summing up the past events to the boy.
"Ah yes, I will do my best to help. What is the current competition?" Sai asked, intrigued by the argument.
The masked man's eye squinted in delight at the acceptance.
"I'm glad you asked Sai!" He cheered, "Sasuke and Naruto are going to both have to talk dirty to each other, you know like, phone sex… without the phone. Who makes the other show signs of embarrassment will get the Seme point!" Kakashi explained.
'Who Would Win A Dirty Talking Contest?'
"I never thought you wouldn't be able to have sex because you couldn't decide who would top," Sai smiled at Naruto.
"I thought you wouldn't have sex because you don't have a penis."
Silence.
This is what people call, calm before the storm. But any minute now…
"EH! URUSAI, SAI! I DO TO HAVE A, uh-"
"I REFUSE TO HAVE MY BOYFRIEND ANY INTERACTION WITH THIS PERVERT!"
Ah yes, the storm.
"Hey! Sai here, agreed to help, so you must hold yourself from such comments." Kakashi scolded.
"And if you do… that is an automatic defeat." The man warned giving a dangerous glare.
Both kids shuttered, turning their attention back on the weirdo in front of them. And was he… laughing?
"What are you laughing about?" Sasuke growled at the boy.
"Eheh, Hee, well me and Naru-chan are going to have so much fun." Sai snickered. This comment set both lovebirds off. But sadly, they where being forced to hold their tongues, or else vile punishment would occur.
"Ano, Sai can you please just call me Naruto." The blond directed quietly.
"Eheh, oh and Sai just so you know," Sasuke growled threw his smiling teeth, "Don't touch what doesn't belong to you, especially if it's mine."
"Don't worry Sasuke-san, it won't be yours for long…"
"You little pr-"
"WELL! Time to get going shall we Sasuke!" Kakashi interrupted, yet again clasping the boy's jaw with his hand.
"Huh? What's going on?" Naruto asked confused to as why his sensei was currently hauling his struggling boyfriend away.
Within seconds a cold arm was snaked around his neck, pulling him forward.
"Shush Naruto-chan, I'll all be ok now that I have you." Sai whispered in the small blonds ear.
His thought's where interrupted by a loud familiar scream of his name.
"NARUTO! DON'T-"
"-Sasuke! Meet at the front gate by 7:30 tomorrow morning for the contest." Kakashi waved, halfway down the street.
Naruto waved happily, not totally aware of why the raven was so upset.
He turned his attention to the low creaking of a door.
"After you Naruto-kun." The pale boy welcomed, holding the door for his guest.
Naruto pouted, still not to happy with the fact that his boyfriend got more a more respectful honorific, but he still preceded into the house.
Sai smile widened as he gently cupped the blond boy's behind lightly as he walked ahead of him.
Naruto gasped at the contact and franticly turned to face the boy responsible.
"U-um w-why did you touch me?" Naruto asked
"Oh there was a bug." Sai said grinning madly.
"Oh, ok thanks then!" The blond beamed at the pale skinned boy.
Once Naruto entered the house he was immediately directed to a large circular room, where he was ordered to sit on a high platform placed in the back of the room. He complied happily, sitting criss-cross applesauce on the miniature stage.
Sai sat in the stool below then blond, an easel in front of him.
"Ano Sai, why am I sitting up here?" Naruto asked politely.
The young artist looked up at the boy and smiled (again).
"Well Naruto-chan, you see, you have two problems, and these are the main reasons why Sasuke-san is winning." He said.
The blond tilted his head in a questioning manner, wonder what the reasons where.
"First and foremost, you display your emotions to freely, if you feel embarrassed you blush or faint." Sai explained. Naruto sighed. He knew it was true, but hiding his feeling where not his forte.
"What are the other reasons?" The blue-eyed boy asked.
Sai said nothing, just stood there smiling like a creep.
"Eh… well I guess we can start with the first one right!" Naruto declared trying to fill the awkward silence.
"So, em, what do we do to-"
"Do you like it up the ass Naruto-chan?"
"... W-what?"
"How deep do you like it?"
"…I"
"How much can that little hole of yours hold?"
"AHH! SHUT UP!" Naruto finally screamed covering his poor virgin ears from the insanities.
"Look at yourself Naruto-chan," the pale boy, sighed "At this rate Sasuke-san will be ramming you into the wall, moaning his name like a little whore." Sai said, shaking his head at the boy in disagreement.
Naruto let out a squeak at the cursed thought, no way could his boyfriend be seme! He had to ender this torture.
"G-Gomen," The blond apologized, bowing his head slightly.
"Well Naruto-chan, I never thought you would be the apologetic type. I forgive you, now here's what where going to do with you," Sai continued pulling out a brush and some paint.
"I'm gonna continues screwing you with my words, and your going to have to respond back, with as little embarrassment as you can, and instead pure lust. If you do what I say, then I promise, you will get this point." The boy smiled, staring longingly into his subject.
Naruto nodded, straining his stance.
"So Naruto-chan where do you want it?" Sai breathed loudly whipping his paintbrush across the canvas.
The blond took a gulp before finally answering.
"Y-You know where I-I want it." He stuttered.
Sai raised a brow at the small boy's reaction.
"Oh I do now? Do you want it here?" Naruto gasped as the boy turned the picture around. Sitting in front of his was an extremely explicit version of himself, sprawled on the ground with hazy eyes and foam dripping from his mouth (Or so he thought) his legs where spread and well, must I go into more detail.
"Uh-h" Naruto choked.
"No? Well then I guess-"
"I want you like that b-b-b-… baby."
Sia's smile couldn't possibly grow bigger at that moment.
After many hours of constant training, the sun rose, marking the time of seven thirty. At this time, both Naruto and Sai made their way to the front gate, where Kakashi, the judge/host of the whole thing was located, as well as Sasuke Uchiha, the opponent and passionate lover of none-other then the small Blondie set on winning.
The second that blond mom of unruly hair entered Sasuke's vision he was up and running.
"NARU!" He yelled lunging for the smaller boy.
"Oh, hey Sasu." Naruto said, feeling his boyfriend's arms rapped around him tightly, rubbing their faces together. Some may call it strange, but Sasuke calls it a kind loving greeting so, yeah, who cares what everyone else says, he's Sasuke.
"Did this guy touch you? Huh? Huh? Did he? Did he!" Said raven yelped swinging Naruto around like a stuffed doll.
"No Sasu I'm fine! Promise!" The blond answered, hugging his lover sweetly.
"That's good because if he did…" Sasuke mumbled nuzzling up against the blonde.
"Ah! Naruto! Have fun?" Kakashi sang, skipping over to where the boys where located.
"Uhh…" Was about all Naruto could say before be lifted up again and being hugged tightly.
"And, thank-you again for taking the time out of your busy day and helping us Sai, I'm sure Naruto appreciates it." The masked man smiled.
"Oh no problem Kakashi-sensei, trust me I liked it too.""
"ALRIGHT! Ready to start you two?" Kakashi yelled calling the boys, whom seemed to be making out by the tree stump, over.
"Hai! Che, che, Sasu your going down." Naruto laughed back lightly hitting his boyfriend on the side.
"Mmm, Nah Naru, I think you're the down one, I'm topping remember." Sasuke smirked back, pulling Naruto's hand along with him.
Naruto muttered something but ended up following his boyfriend hand in hand.
"Alright you two take a seat right here," Kakashi cheered pointing to plastic chairs that where conveniently set up facing each other.
Both sat their little butts down and awaited further instruction.
"Ok, Sasuke you can start the conversation, I'll be over here somewhere reading my novel and Sai will watch from the gate entrance. No touching or kissing of any kind. Go!" With that he disappeared in a flash.
Sasuke and Naruto exchanged glances before finally Sasuke whispered the first words.
"I wanna rub my hands up and down you so bad right now." For some reason when Sasuke said this it felt extremely different from all the things Sai said. And Sai said some pretty twisted things. Naruto used a lot of strength to now blush when he would talk, but this. This killed him. For some reason Sasuke changed everything. But he swallowed his feeling and as quickly as he
"Go ahead Sasu, feel me up, taste me babe, I want you just as bad." He said using all his might not to spontaneously combust at that moment. He knew he was blushing like crazy but he successfully hid it by looking at his feet letting his bangs cover parts of his face. No way in hell could he look at Sasuke now.
Kakashi, being a ninja and all, knew that he could call Naruto out now for uke actions, but did he really want to hear him complain for the rest of the day? Nah, he could let this play out. Besides, it's interesting no?
Sasuke was startled when he heard Naruto say those things. It was so unlike him. And much different then what someone may believe, he did not enjoy it. No, he hated it. But he had to win this thing. For good old Uchiha pride!
"Hn, I wanna do more to you then that Naru," He purred, leaning into his boyfriend's ear, "I wanna run my tongue up and down you, suck until I leave marks, and swallow you whole."
Yeah, good luck with that one Naruto. His face lit up like flames and he immediately started shaking. The boy tried speaking but all that would erupt was a squeal. Defeat was positive, and Naruto knew that much.
"Well, seems like you fell fatal to the second fault of yours huh, Naru-chan?" A low voice sounded. And, suddenly Naruto was lifted up from his seat, by none-other then Sai.
"S-Sai, w-what are you doing?" the blond shouted as a hand flew up his shirt.
He yelped as cold fingers pinched one of his nipples, and he down right screamed as hand another snaked into his boxers.
"This is your other problem Naruto," Sai moaned in the boy's ear loudly, "Your too much of a virgin."
"Well look here, guess you do have a penis after all." The boy croaked giving Naruto's member a painful squeeze.
Before he could pull away, the blond was thrown to the ground.
"I mean with your innocent's anyone could take advantage of you-" CRACK.
Naruto stared in awe as the painful sound of breaking filled his ears. Sasuke had one foot firmly on top of Sai, while his hands, pulled the boy's arms backwards. Sai let out a painful shriek, but all the while smiling threw it.
"Sasuke" The blond whimpered, watching as said boy bent the other's arms backwards. Naruto just winced thinking of that agony.
"Hee hee, isn't that right Sasuke?" Sai slued in pain.
"You, dare touch my Naruto? I'll kill you, for doing that to him. I'll kill anyone that does. I would never take advantage of him. That's why I'm here in the first place, you fucking idiot!" He growled, kicking the back of his head with his other foot hard.
"You freaken prick!" He snapped with another twist to his limbs.
"You useless little whore!" He screamed, pounding down on his rib cage.
"I'll kill you!" Again he yelled.
"I'll kill you!" And Again.
"I'll kill you!" He screamed this, but couldn't, for he was stopped by wires wrapping around his wrists. Looking up he noticed Kakashi standing with a sad look in his eye.
"Sasuke… you just-"
"Did you see what he did! Why didn't you stop him! I was to shocked to do anything sooner but you… YOU could have done something!" He shouted sending a slightly insane glare at his sensei.
"Gomen, I didn't really realize either… and-" A loud gasp broke Kakashi's speech.
"Naruto! Oî! Kakashi let me go!" Kakashi sighed and cut the pulled back the wire entangling Sasuke. The second he was free he dove down to his lover and tightly held him in his arms.
"I'm sorry Naru, I'm so, so sorry." The raven cooed, gently kissing the blond's cheek.
"I'm ok Sasu, thanks for saving me." Naruto said returning the careful embrace.
Kakashi gave the unconscious Sai a glare before setting him under a tree and wrapping his wounds.
"So I guess, Sasuke won that round huh?" Naruto sniffled in his boyfriend's arms.
"No, actually you won Naruto." The masked man sighed.
"What how?" Naruto stammered, Sasuke said nothing; instead he seemed to not even hear their sensei and instead just continued petting his little blond.
"I told him if he started anything with Sai then you get a point. So that's that." He said, still taking care of one of his injured students.
"S-See Naruto-chan I-I told you, you would get a point." The injured supposedly not so unconscious boy croaked.
"One Seme Point For Naruto Uzumaki: Sasuke was disqualified."
A/N: U guys... I still cant get over that amazing disclaimer... ANYWAY for those who have recovered from being blown away, I hope you guys liked the capter, not really my favorite but hey I wanna here what you guys think. I think the bottom overall message of this chapter would have to be... bugs don't land on your ass. Please reveiw so this message will reach all of man kind.
Thanks! Love Kenny-chan
Do it for the poor wrongly accused bugs