*In the Car*
Edward: *takes a deep breath* I should go back there and rip those guys' heads off!
Bella: *stares at him dreamily, almost drooling* Maybe you should… It'd be so hot.
Hawkfrost: Ugh.
Edward: *reaches toward the thermostat* You cold?
Bella: *reaches toward it too and touched his hand. Gasps* Oh my gawd! You're so cold!
Hawkfrost: No fox-dung, Sherlock. He's a vampire!
Edward: *hits Hawkfrost* Um, spoiler alert!
Bella: *stares at Edward* What? Vampire?
Edward: *hits Bella on the head with a random frying pan that was somehow strangely on the floor of his car….*
Hawkfrost: *hisses* What are you… Wait, are you gonna throw her off a bridge?! Can I watch?! *smiles creepily*
Edward: *shakes his head* No… I'm taking her to Carlisle…
Me: *randomly poofs into the story* YOU'RE GONNA SEE CARLISLE, OH MY GOSH, CAN I COME?! *jumps up and down in the backseat like the crazy fan girl that I am*
Edward: *growls* No! *smacks Me so I poof away*
Hawkfrost: *annoyed* Who in the name of StarClan is Carlisle?!
Edward: My creator… and my father.
Hawkfrost: OH DEAR GOD MAN! THAT—Wait, your father? Oh, well THAT'S not dramatic at all. And here I thought we were gonna meet a villain.
Edward: *groans* Just be quiet until we get to my house.
Bella: *groans* Edward… touch me…
Hawkfrost: O.O
Edward: *hits Bella with the frying pan again*
Hawkfrost: Thank you…
*At the Cullen House*
Edward: *carries Bella inside*
Hawkfrost *bounds after him* Hey, wait up!
Edward: *stops* Wait, Hawkfrost… Maybe you shouldn't come in. My family… they… Well I don't think it will be easy for them to be around you…
Hawkfrost: Why?
Edward: *sighs* My family… we don't hunt humans. We… we hunt animals and drink their blood… So they'll probably attack you.
Hawkfrost: Why the StarClan would you do that? We're fluffy and cute… I can't believe I said that… but why don't you just let them eat Bella? No one likes her.
Edward: *sighs* I love her.
Hawkfrost: *throws up hairball*
Jasper: *runs out of the house in only his underpants* I SMELL KITTY!
Alice: *runs after Jasper* Honey! Put pants on!
Hawkfrost: *hisses as Jasper approaches him* Get away from me you creeper! Edward, tell your brother to stop!
Edward: *lets out unamused laugh* Wow, that's racist. We're not all "brothers" okay?
Jasper: *stops and looks at Bella* HUMAN!
Emmett: *comes out groaning and swearing* Not again, Jasper! Really, in the unmentionables?
*Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme also come out of the house and watch Jasper run around Edward and Bella in his underwear screaming*
Alice: *growls and grabs Jasper's arm* JASPER HALE, YOU ARE EMBARRASSING ME! *slaps*
Jasper: *whimpers like a puppy*
Carlisle: *comes down the stairs at vampire speed and goes up to Bella and Edward*
Hawkfrost: *hisses at Carlisle's speed* It's a demon!
Esme: *runs over and grabs her husband's arm* No!
Me: *poofs in again and slaps Hawkfrost with a dead fish* CARLISLE IS NOT A DEMON YOU MONSTER!
Hawkfrost: *whimpers*
Me: *turns and stares at Carlisle until she begins to drool*
Esme: *glares at Me* Stop staring!
Me: *growls* DIE! *lunges at Esme*
Carlisle: *ignores the two women fighting over him cuz he's cool like that and talks to Edward* What's wrong with her?
Hawkfrost: He hit her with a frying pan!
Carlisle: *looks at Hawkfrost and his eyes go black* There's… a cat with you…
Edward: *grabs Carlisle's shoulder* He's Bella's… Just leave him out of it.
Carlisle: *sighs and looks at Bella* So why did you hit her with a frying pan?
Edward: *growls* Because Mr. Spoilerface told her that I was a vampire!
All Concerned Even Esme and Me Who Are Wrestling On The Groung Biting and Clawing At Each Other: *GASP!*
Hawkfrost: *glares at Edward* It's Mr. Fluffy—I mean Lord Poofy—I MEAN HAWKFROST!
Jasper: *stares at Hawkfrost* Kitty….
Emmett: *walks up and grabs Jasper* Sorry, cat. *carries Jasper back inside the house.
Alice: *follows* Emmett, don't hurt him!
Rosalie: *rolls eyes* Does anyone care how much trouble they're causing?! The cat is making Jasper insane and spoiled more than half of the first book in three words, Bella is also driving Jasper insane and her scent is burning our throats, and somehow this crazy cat has brought this Carlisle-crazed fan girl here who is trying to kill Esme!
Carlisle: *looks over his shoulder at Me and Esme fighting* Would you please let go of my wife?
Me: *lets go of Esme who she had in a headlock* Aww…. But I was winning. *poofs away in defeat*
Carlisle: *sighs* Bring her inside Edward… Esme, darling would you get the cat?
Esme: *shakes her head* I think I'm too thirsty Carlisle…
Carlisle: Rosalie?
Rosalie: *growls* FINE! *picks up Hawkfrost by the scruff of his neck and carries him inside the house, following Edward*
Hawkfrost: Ouch! Hey, you could try to be gentle, Blondie!
Rosalie: *growls* My name is Rosalie.
Hawkfrost: Whatever! Just put me down! I swear, I will kill Ashfur for this!
Rosalie: *scoffs* What do you know about killing?
Hawkfrost: You'd be surprised Blondie. I almost killed Firestar! I almost did! If only it weren't for Brambleclaw and that StarClan-darned stake!
Rosalie: *rolls her eyes and drops him on the couch* Sit down, and shut up, will you.
Hawkfrost: Harsh…
Emmett: *enters* Alice and Jasper are in his room. She's trying to get pants on him… When I left he was talking nonsense about cereal and the Civil War….
Rosalie: *sighs* He never has been the same since the Volturi came…
Hawkfrost: Volterro?
Rosalie: *rolls her eyes* Volturi.
Hawkfrost: Gazoontite.
Rosalie: Shut up…
Hawkfrost: *glowers*
Carlisle: *enters with Edward and Bella, who is awake* Bella knows thanks to what Mr. Fluffyface told her.
Hawkfrost: *yowls* MY NAME IS HAWKFROST GOSH DARNIT!
Edward: *ignores* And she is confined to the house for tonight. She called her dad and he thinks that she is sleeping over at a friend's house.
Rosalie: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Why is she staying here?
Carlisle: There is a group of rogues in the area… We fear that they will smell her and—*cuts off as three vampires appear in the doorway*
Hawkfrost: *gasps* Oh no! It's like one of those multicultural gangs like in Family Guy!
Edward: No! It's the rogues! James, Victoria, and Laurent!
Hawkfrost; Laur-what?!
Rosalie: HIDE!
James: *breaks window open with fist*
Longer one! :D