＼(＾▽＾*)Kenny-chan Cant Spelll(*＾▽＾)／
A/N: Thanks to all you wonderful people, I have desided to keep this story going! ( ^ _ ^)∠ B00M！Screw dem haters, We gotta story to write (*∀*)!
Disclaimer: insert witty disclaimer message about how Kishimoto owns Naruto Dont worry its on my list of things to do (￣▽￣)ノ
"Okay, only three more rounds, I have to win only two more points to win!"
"Yeah, but you won't…"
"Shut up! I defiantly will."
"… We'll see about that won't we?"
"Will you two stop quarreling!" Kakashi snapped, stopping to turn and look at the bickering boys.
"…Quarreling?"
"I don't even no what that means…"
"Your word choice is lagging Kakashi."
"I don't know how to speak British, you should know that sensei."
Kakashi was having the worst headache of his life. These little brats where not helping.
"You know what? Where just going to start the competition right here, right now." The masked man ordered, glaring at the teenagers, Sasuke Uchiha and his boyfriend Naruto Uzumaki.
"You hear that Sasu? Right here, right now!" The blond said with intimidation. Scoff scoff.
"Yes Naru, I was right here right now. So I did here." The raven responded.
"Right where?"
"Right here?"
"Right now?"
"Right."
"Right where?"
"SHUT UP!" Kakashi fumed desperate to escape his ninja students, both annoying the perv right out of him. Just kidding of course.
"Okay, each of you are going to collect votes! Got it? Who ever looks better ok? You each can get a friend to help you, I don't really care. Who ever gets thirty votes gets a seme point." With that the man disappeared in a cloud of spoke after magically throwing a sheet of paper with both Naruto's and Sasuke's name on the top to the ground, leaving both boys to find a helper themselves.
'Who Can Get Thirty Votes First?'
A half our later we find our two beautiful males with not only themselves for company but a friend. That is, if either friend is willing to be considered company.
Neji Hyuga, a self-obsessed cocky seventeen year old. The longhaired boy was taken to the side of Sasuke Uchiha. A perfect team of utter bastards.
Gaara Sabakuno, a somewhat stoic figure, whom seemed to have a rather grim side, blood being one of his favorite possessions but also a much sweeter personality whom took a rather deep interest in sand. God knows why. This red head joined in with Naruto. But in all honesty, he simply could not see the bright-eye boy as anything but an uke. No offence of course.
"You'll see! We are so gonna win this!" Naruto yelled at the smirking raven on his left.
"We'll see about that won't we Naru." The boy scoffed back, which of course started even more of argument.
"You two never cease to annoy me." Neji murmured looking over at the fighting couple. Neither took notice of course, both boys purely wrapped around each other's words. The usual.
"Oi, Naruto can I go home now?" Gaara asked, bending down to the blond boy's head, which was now against the ground with his boyfriend straddling his waste, holding down his flailing arms.
"Eh, no! Just w-wait, I'll be there in a-AHA!" Naruto yelled now holding Sasuke down.
Just then the cry of two girls pierced the groups eardrums.
"Can I help you?" Neji asked weirdly at the three girls gathering around the fighting couple.
"Your so hot!"
"Marry me!"
"Can I have your babies?"
Sasuke grinned wildly, throwing an evil look at his lover before pouncing to his feet doing a little pose for the ladies.
"Well hello girls, can you do poor old Sasuke-kun a favor?" The boy purred, the cockiness just erupting out of him. So cocky.
The girls squealed, willing to burry themselves alive for the raven.
"Can you just write a little check on this piece of paper for showing support of me being the better seme? Thanks." Sasuke said with half lidded eyes.
The girls beamed immediately scribbling down a check before being shooed away.
"Eh! No, that's not fair!" Naruto yelped watching the screen befall him helplessly.
"Why not Naru-chan?" Sasuke smirked pinching his boyfriend's inflated cheeks.
"Oww-"
"Sasuke lets just rap this thing up already." Neji ordered grabbing the young Uchiha by the collar.
"Fine," Sasuke sighed complying with the longhaired brunettes demand, but not with out a sinister smile at his lover.
"Bye Naruto, good luck!"
Naruto puffed up his cheeks before scowling at the boy.
"Gaara, we gotta do this! Come on, let's go find some girls!"
And so the two teams split off, each on a quest to get thirty checks for seme.
"Hey Sasuke-kun!" Ino, a Sasu-fan girl with, long platinum hair and, pale green eyes. Particularly annoying.
"Hn." Sasuke mumbled, falling to his immediate reaction. A harsh slap across back reminded the raven of his mission and with a sickening gulp, Sasuke was at her side.
"Well, how are you doing Ino-chan?" He breathed, holding back some bile that was building up in his throat.
The girl glowed at his sudden interest in her and she quickly put on a smile.
"I'm great how about you?"
"Well," Sasuke sighed sadly before glancing up with smoldering dark orbs.
"I need more people to vote for me so I can be seme." He declared lowly.
Ino was up in a heartbeat, scribbling down her vote on the clipboard in Neji's hands.
"Okay Sasuke-kun, I voted for you now can-" Before the girl could finish Sasuke had already walked off. So much for giving a rat's ass about her.
"This is way to easy for me." The raven smirked.
Neji just sighed, he had to agree with him on this, Sasuke had at least 9000 fan girls just about willing to jump off the world for him. And that's not even possible.
By four o'clock they had already gathered 28 votes from nearly every teenage girl in Konoha.
Things where looking rather bright for Sasuke.
Naruto on the other hand had only collected 1 vote, and that was from himself soooo…
"Come on, we should probably fine Sasuke and Neji now, see how many more votes he has.
"Gaara, you have to help me." Naruto wined, moping around the streets of Konoha, his fearless companion following his suit. Minus the whining obviously.
"They're Sasuke Uchiha's fan girls what do you expect, they aren't going to want their love to screwed by someone else." The red head explained to the squealing blond next to him.
"Whhaa, I want fan girls!" Naruto cried much to his friend's misery.
Suddenly a light bulb lit over Gaara's head as they passed a certain shy, white eyed Hyuga fumbling about in the background.
"Hi Hinita!" Naruto yelled, glancing over at what his friend's vision was locked on.
The girl immediately flushed, being noticed was something somewhat rare for her. She awkwardly raised her hand in a waving motion before greeting back shyly.
"Oi, Naruto come here for a second." Gaara ordered before whispering his plot in the boy's ear.
"Is that them?"
"Hm? Oh yeah! Let's go brag- wait why is Gaara that close to my Naruto? I will simply NOT allow this, let's go Neji!" Sasuke yelled the sharingan already burning through his pupils.
"Hold it." The longhaired boy commanded, pulling Sasuke back before he could drag him away.
The raven glared daggers, but held still as Neji told him their own little plan. Things where certainly getting squeamish.
The second Hinita Hyuga walked off down one of the many dusty paths, not one, not two, not even three, but four Ninja's where looming in the shadows behind her. Some much more skillfully then others, some not even aware of each other presents, but either way, the stalkers finally where brought to the entrance of a tall fence.
The girl did a slight glance on both sides before dashing over the fence.
Why she did not use her byakugan is still unknown to the writer to this day.
"What's going on in their Neji?" Sasuke hissed watching as his favorite blond and his friend also leaped over the picketed barrier.
Neji did a speedily Byakugan check, and gasped at his findings.
"What Neji! You have to tell me!"
"Well you see-"
"You took too long! I must protect my dobe!" Before Neji could usher one word of warning Sasuke had already entered his own personal hell. Well not really actually, he actually would have loved the place, but the four people praying.
You see Sasuke along with Gaara, Neji and Naruto himself had just discovered the Naruto fan club. The blond's face was everywhere. Some of his old clothes taped to the wall, along with boxes of already eaten ramen boxes and chopsticks none other then Naruto had used. Well hopefully anyway.
The four members jumped up in shock. Can you blame them? Their idol has made an appearance.
"Naruto-chan!" A man with a blond ponytail shrieked running over to the much smaller blond.
"Naruto-chan is here! Tobi must be a good boy!" A man with an orange mask leaped highly clapping his hands together.
"Oh, hello Naruto-kun. How are you and you dick doing this fine day?"
"SIA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! Actually, WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING HERE?"
"Oh where the Naruto fan club! I'm Deidara, that's Tobi, Hinita and, well you know just so adorable!" The blond man squealed fluffing up the boy's blond hair.
"Naruto… why are they all… males?" Gaara said slowly shocked by… well everything.
"…Except Hinita anyway." Said girl blushed brightly before hiding in her hands. The awkward creep.
"Wait! Aren't you guys in," Naruto inhaled loudly, probably breathing in 2/3rds of the earth's atmosphere while pointing at Deidara and Tobi, "Akatsuki!" He finished in a whisper releasing the carbon dioxide from his lips. Naruto is the reason for Global Warming.
"Yeah but were on vacation!" The blond man chirped happily pulling out many artsy pictures of him and the rest of the group praying by a Naruto shaped cross where sombreros and sunglasses, clearly enjoying their holiday.
"Tobi so glad Naru-chan came to visit! Tobi like Naru-chan, Tobi like much!" The masked man cheered waving a pom-pom in the air.
Naruto grinned happily, yes maybe he was hoping for a few more people to be in his fan club, preferably girls, but hey! Votes are votes right! Besides… he had quiet a badass fan club.
"Hey! Can you guys do me a favor?" Naruto asked with bright eyes, still not aware of the Sasuke's presence shriveling up behind him.
"Anything for Naru-chan!"
"Tobi says yup!"
"S-sure Naruto-k-kun."
"I would love to help you and your dick."
Badass is right.
Naruto cleared his throat, clenched his fists after pushing his bangs off his forehead while narrowing his oceanic eyes, preparing to ask the question of a lifetime.
"Can you vote for me to be seme over by boy-friend Sasu, pwwweeeeeeeaaasseeee?"
The members of the Naruto fan club deadpanned as they looked into the puppy-dog eyes of their blond idol.
"B-but Naruto-chan," Deidara stuttered not wanting to upset the boy, "We like you because you're an uke!" The man finished, getting a nod of approval from Hinita, Tobi, and Sai.
"But I'm Seme! SEME!" Naruto wailed throwing his own little tantrum. Deidara exchanged looks with his fellow members before lightly patting the blond's head.
"I think we should take this up with the boss."
Naruto immediately shot up, his eyes wide with curiosity.
"B-boss?"
Deidara grinned before tugging the boy to the back of the small garage. Sasuke zombie walked after them, his shocked state not yet able to break while Gaara, well Gaara actually did loose his mind that moment, and was currently unable to process where is legs where.
After many portraits of none other then the blond, some completely naked thanks to Sai of course, Naruto had finally reached the end of the enclosed area. What was to be seen there would have made anyone cringe and stutter, Naruto was staring right into the face of his own… face. And they where everywhere. If he thought the multiple litter of paintings was a lot this was just… wow. There was literally not one space of wall that was not filled with either a photo, painting or even collage of the blond. But the biggest sight to behold was the massive pink chair turned away from the audience darkly perched upon a small platform.
"Boss… our savior has finally here, and he has a proclamation leader." Deidara sounded before scurrying away from the shady looking object.
"Yes I sensed his Chakara not to long ago. Please come here boy." A dark deep voice echoed making even the birds swallow their chirping.
With a gulp Naruto swallowed as much fear as those little cheeks could hold and ventured to the dark man sitting behind the chair.
Slowly the chair turned with a creak as Naruto's eyes grew ten fold.
That was what broke Sasuke Uchiha out of his coma.
"ITACHI!" The younger Uchiha screamed loudly, gaining everyone's attention.
"Sasu! I didn't know you where here! Look, are you jealous of my f-"
"What the hell are you doing here?" Sasuke hissed cutting off his boyfriend and running to none other then his brother perched proudly in a huge neon pink chair.
The smirk on the eldest Uchiha's face was held as his little brother began his rant on how one of these days he was going to kill him.
"Ah, hello foolish little brother long time no see."
"LONG TIME NO SEE? SCREW YOU!"
"Please Sasuke, I will forbid you from using such language around our guest of honor." The man said his cherry eyes falling on the small innocent blond just happy to be part of the action.
"Hi Itachi-sama!" Naruto smiled waving at the older chiller version of his boyfriend.
"Konichiwa Naruto-kun pleasure to see you again, don't stress I'm on holiday so don't worry about me capturing you or anything!"
"Itachi," Sasuke growled cutting off his brother's chiming voice, "Are you the one in charge of this whole fan-club? Because I want it to stop, NOW."
Itachi wore the same bored expression through every word the younger raven hissed, not affected by his tone in the slightest.
Neither was Naruto apparently ass he pulled his arm around his boyfriends shoulder and pouted.
"Ano Sasu? Why? You have a million fan clubs why can't I have one?" The boy whined rubbing up against his boy-friends side.
"He's right you know foolish little brother. Now, please step off to the side until you have a good argument as to why you don't want this club to take place. Until that time, Naruto, what is it that you wanted from us, the very loyal Naruto fan club?"
Sasuke was speechless as he was ushered out of the garage and pushed off onto the cold street. The poor, poor Uchiha.
"Itachi-sama, you see," Naruto began his puppy face already planted on his features.
"I really want to be seme! Sasuke is an uke I just know it and I can't get anyone to vote for me, please help!" He cooed, grabbing hold of Itachi's hand sweetly.
The man's smirk did not falter as he chortled coolly to himself.
"You know what Naruto, I agree, my foolish little brother would do well being dominated by such a cute boy such as yourself, you defiantly have my vote."
"Kya! Arigato Itachi-sama!" Naruto purred, giving the man a huge hug.
Deidara choked, no way.
"Itachi-san, are you… serious?" The blond man asked with wide eyes.
The eldest raven just grinned, his eyes shifting happily as he began explaining what was on his oh so devious mind.
"Deidara-kun, you can't possibly tell me that Naruto-chan dominating Sasuke would not be the hottest thing ever. Just picture all the fabulous art you could make." The man said, his eyes gleaming with dark intentions.
Meanwhile Deidara's eyes lit light fireworks picturing what a bang it would be to sculpt such a lustful sight.
"Not to mention," Itachi whispered quietly as Naruto ran off to get the clipboard from Gaara's still unmoving hands,
"You do want a hug now, don't you?"
Suddenly a line was formed behind the blond each person giving Naruto their vote and getting the sweetest hug from the cutest little blond ever.
"Even though I don't really get what you're going to put inside Sasuke…" Sai started staring at the paper in the blond's grasp,
"I still give you my vote." He said with a sigh, checking under Naruto's name.
The boy beamed before squeezing the pale skinned boy tightly, unaware of the not-so accidental grasp of his bottom.
"Thanks everybody!" Naruto smiled waving his fan club behind as he pulled Gaara out the exit.
"Neji!" Sasuke hissed once he finally found the longhaired brunette he was looking for.
Said boy could not look more frustrated.
"What is it Sasuke?" He fumed pacing back and forth in front of the Konoha Bridge, his usually neat presents now untamed.
Sasuke could see the furry illuminating of his accomplice, but you see Sasuke doesn't really care about how people feel, unless their name is Naruto Uzumaki of course. And so, the boy continued, not giving a rat's ass about what was going through the brunette's mind.
"I can absolutely, under no circumstance, no exceptions, no way in hell, n-"
"Get on with it Uchiha,"
"-Let that fan club continue!" Sasuke finally roared much like a dragon would once their princess was stolen from them.
Neji said nothing as Sasuke continued to vent about how Naruto was his to think, lick, touch, smell, eat, speak, suck, exc. ALONE. And no way in hell would he ever even imagine his brother or any other person for that matter.
"-Your girl. Right Neji?"
"…"
"Neji?"
"…"
"NEJI!"
"WHAT IS IT!"
This sadly Sasuke could not ignore. So with a huff of defeat he finally asked what the Hyuga's problem was. And boy did he regret it.
"I thought Hinita loved me! Why would she go join the Naruto fan club!" The brunette cried.
"Uh," Eh, Sasuke was in a tough place with this one, most people would even touch this topic with a nine foot pole, but well, Sasuke never really had a problem speaking his mind.
"She's your cousin why would she ever like you?"
Neji choked on his own saliva. Did he just…
"At least she is still ashe!"
Gasp!
"Well Neji, I hope you have fun with your screwed up kids."
Double gasp!
"At least I can have kids!"
Triple super ultra gasp!
"I'm gonna freaken kill you!"
Quadruple mega colossal gasp!
"I'd like to see you try Uchiha."
Cua- oh wait never mind… not really a gasp moment.
"Just get out of my sight Hyuga" Sasuke sneered turning away from once friend. Or whatever the hell the two where.
Neji grunted a nasty remark before dashing away. Leaving Sasuke all alone… to deal with his many problems. Many, many problems.
"Thank you so much sir!" Naruto smiled as yet another man gave him a vote.
"No, thank you." The man smiled after feeling the bliss of a lovely hug.
Naruto smiled cheekily as he looked over the numerous votes he had, three more and he'll be at thirty!
Hopefully Sasuke hasn't gotten there yet. Naruto thought thinking back to his Uchiha, He did seem really upset, I mean I've never actually seen him that speechless before… The blond mused as yet another man gave him a vote.
"Thanks!" Naruto beamed wrapping his arms around the man's torso. For some reason these men where always poking him with something when he hugged them…
"Semes are suppos't to help their little ukes with problems, when they are upset, right?" Naruto asked looking to the boy on the right.
"… I… I really just…" Gaara stammered, still dead.
"So if I help him… I'll be the greatest seme in the world!" Naruto yelled raising his fist in victory.
"Nuuuhaa"
"Sasu is one lucky little uke!" The blond cheered as he began marching of, prepared to do the work of an ultimate seme.
I MUST take that club DOWN Sasuke Uchiha thought to himself his vision blurred with rage.
But these things take time, plans, and bombs. He mussed passing back and forth through the Uchiha estate. He came to a stop as he looked up at the large dagger hung high on the wall.
The raven smirked to himself as his jumped up and yanked it off it's hinges. Or more like he tried yanking it off its hinges but that baby was nailed on tight! After much pulling and grunting the knife detached from the wall, causing Sasuke to fling across the room and bang up against a draw.
A glass of water fell upon the Uchiha's head and smashed to bits, causing Sasuke to his in pain. Getting up and shaking himself off he noted the many weapons he actually had in hid house, and the… battle clothes? Deep with in the everly devious cabinet, face pain; whist bands, helmets and shields flooded the shelves.
Oh was Itachi going to get it now.
After two and a half hours of getting dressed, twenty minutes of finding weapons and thirty for a quick snack, Sasuke ran out the door.
There waiting for him was his new trusty stead Marshmallow. Oh yes, did I mention the four hours of Sasuke's search for an epic horse? How could I have forgotten?
"Giddy-yup!" The horse stood still, not moving a muscle.
"Mush!" Nope, that's not the one either.
"Hike!" Not today Sasu-chan.
"… Yip-Yip?" Like a bullet old Marshmallow took down the path, tearing up all in his tracks. Marshmallow is indeed a male.
Sasuke called the horse to a stop just as he saw the picketed entrance to the Naruto-fan club.
Quickly he hopped down, gathering his weapon. He held his horse at bay as he wined, sensing the nearing danger. Skillfully, Sasuke crept up to the gate, his red face paint illuminated by the hot sun.
All Sasuke's fears laid ahead, well, except the possibility for him being uke of course.
With one last swallow of lush air, Sasuke with all his bravery jumped over the fence, coming face to face with… nothing.
"Oh there you are Sasuke! We've been looking for you for hours!" The familiar voice of Kakashi called from over the raven's shoulder, the teacher along with Naruto looked up at him happily as their multiple hour long search was finally concluded.
Sasuke did a double take, he was sure there was a club here; he could not be going that insane! Well, yet anyway.
"What?" Was all the raven could utter as the more confused he got.
"Oh yeah, well Naruto won a seme point while you where out doing God knows what. Neji found Gaara lifeless and brought him back to life, thus moving his love interest away from Hinita and now on the Kazekage of the sand. Me and my little dolphin had some quality alone time if you know what I mean, leaving me in a much better mood, and we got a mission to find a stolen horse." The masked man concluded just as Naruto ran out a hugged his boyfriend.
"...But what about the club?"
"Oh I told them to take that down a while ago!" The blond said giving the biggest, bestest, tightest and most important hug of the day to his boyfriend. The other hugs didn't mean much to him, but this is what he really looked forward to doing.
"…I see." Sasuke mumbled before passing out. This was just too much.
"One Seme Point For Naruto Uzumaki: Naruto Became A Prostitute To Get Votes."
A/N: Gomen if this chapter isn't verry funny (ι´Д｀)ﾉ Well, if it was to you then I'm soo happy, but I think I broke a funny bone or somthing. I've had a bad two weeks, and I lost three importaint people to me, two of which on July 23! Sasuke Birthday, My Parents Aniversery, My Best Friend and Her Boyfriends Aniversity and now The death of a beautiful 15 year old and 62 year old man.
Please send them your prares. 八(;^;)
Love Kenny-chan, Please review my loves ^^