Now it's Loki's turn (also, he insisted on writing out the back story of his own angst so blame him, not me) Also, a lot of the things that happened are myth-fact, just very much simplified, in case anybody was wondering...not that you are...This took me much longer than I thought, but thank you for all your reviews and support, I hope you enjoyed it!
Chapter Six: For Him and Everything He Is
The one thing Tony had not been expecting at all-not that he expected Hulk, doctor though Banner was, to restart his heart (which he was very much grateful for) either-after his suicide mission was to have Loki-the main guy they were fighting-suddenly transported into the middle of their group and demand to see him.
"Out of my way!" he hissed, parting the Avengers with a shove that caused them to stumble just enough steps to let him squeeze by. He stopped in front of him in his mostly supine position, hands on his hips in a clearly disapproving manner that told him he was going to get one hell of a scolding. He found himself feeling sheepish already though, for some strange reason. "Tony, you foolish, foolish, little mortal! Do you know how worried I was hearing about your gloriously stupid idea to go through the Chitauri portal with a time limit on your return?
"Of all the times to chose to be the martyr-why?" He pulled him up to his feet, just so his pacing turn would be more dramatic.
"Uh," he blinked, now standing and facing him thanks to his rather rough handling. "Because it was the only way to stop those ugly beasts-what did you say, Chutari-from pretty much destroying the world or at least New York, and I happen to kind of like this place,"
"Yes, but why did you? I specifically made sure you were not to come to harm and, somehow, you managed to do it," he kneaded his forehead and sighed. "What am I going to do with you, Tony?"
Well, that sounded familiar.
"Loki?" he asked in disbelief. The god looked up at him, raising his hand to peer at him with a furrowed brow.
"I have not told you who I was," he stated blankly. "How did you find out?"
Tony snorted. "You do realise that you're not wearing somebody else's skin, don't you?" he said, gesturing to his whole body.
Loki followed his gesturing, slowly checking himself out from top to bottom. He swallowed slowly once, warily watching the Avengers in his surroundings start to edge towards him. "It seems that, in my haste to properly chide you and ascertain your well-being, I had forgotten to put on a disguise..." he mumbled sheepishly himself. Tony only grinned widely at him.
"So, it's really you. All this time?" His god nodded. "Why the disguises? Even if you told me who you were, I wouldn't have believed you, so the secret would have been safe with me. I didn't believe Coulson when he told me about Thor," he firmly repressed the urge to wince, Steve wasn't as lucky but Clint and Natasha gave him epic glares of disbelief and disapproval. It wasn't his fault, sometimes his mouth just got carried away.
"My..." he gave a sideways glance at his company, Thor specifically, who started to look very approving of this entire situation. He wasn't even holding Mjolnir threateningly any more, which worked some favour with the others. They backed off for now, standing to the sides just far enough to give the idea of privacy when they could still clearly hear and see everything even if they weren't too particularly happy about it. "Visits to you were not entirely approved of by the All-Father, so to prevent his knowing, I used the form of several accomplices while they hid away and my clone of myself made mischief to distract the gods from looking too closely. Therefore, I could not show up as the same person without suspicion and never as myself. Until now," he said with a little smirk that faded when he remembered their audience.
"So, when you said you were fighting to get to me, you were fighting against your own father?" Because, woah. He might be fighting his father's shadow, but he never, ever, ever even considered raging against him while he was alive. But his guardian-Loki-was willing to do that for him when he had his own life that could be messed up in the process?
Damn, he better not start crying.
He hoped that was a joke and not a real threat. God, how embarrassing would that be?
"Adopted father," Loki sneered. Whoops. Opened that can of worms accidentally. "And, yes," his sneer turned sad and Tony had to look down for a moment.
"That argument was particularly...unpleasant. In punishment for my clone's action of cutting Sif's hair and tricking the dwarves into fixing it, they were allowed to sew my mouth shut and Odin made me watch Stane-" he shook with barely controlled rage. "Make me watch you almost die. And, to make him believe I had truly nothing to do with you, I was forced to deny you. That is the true reason I could not come to you earlier and it brings me great shame," he said looking away, closing his eyes to the memories that assaulted him in his shame and regret. The story behind everything that Tony would most likely not wish to hear.
It was a glittering ball of crystal shaped so smoothly it was as if a dwarf had painstakingly rubbed it into such a shape. But Loki knew better.
It was magic.
Live, thinking, sentient magic. He could feel it sparking and dancing along his skin just from being near it. He shivered. And put his hands on its side to get closer to it and understand it.
Eyaer-ást. That was her name. Giver of visions of loved ones. In return, she only asked for-
"Loki," He was startled out of receiving the rest of her message from his father. Guiltily, he stepped away, hands behind his back as he hung his head. "You are far too curious, by far," Loki winced.
Odin strode to him and tilted up his chin. "I bear no anger for your actions, Loki, my son, I only wish to protect you from harm. Her price to observe the life of the being you are most attuned to is very low, but to look upon what you can not have is an addiction that will bring only madness to you,"
"Why madness? She only speaks of peace and joy and love and belonging-" he said, entranced already. "How can that ever bring me madness, Father?"
"Loki," Odin spoke, voicing with a command to make him stand to attention. "You are a Word-Smith. What is her true name?"
"Giver of visions of loved ones," he recited.
"No. That is what she does. The love in her name refers to the divine loves that make the Aesir, that which powers us, the belief of mortals the pray to us regardless of who they believe in. The loved one she lets you observe is a mortal, a mortal whose life is most likely over already," he continued forcefully, regretfully. In his heart, he knew this would not end well. "Loki, I do not wish to condemn you to a life of pining over someone who can never be yours. I forbid you to come back."
"What-but, no, you can't do that!" he protested vehemently once he got over his surprise. The All-Father usually was not so strict, especially since he proved himself more trustworthy than Thor when it came to matters such like these. "I won't let you. Father, I can behave myself. I will not allow myself to become lost to-"
"You will not come back. Do not disobey me on this, my son," he boomed. Meekly, Loki nodded and slinked away, turning once to glance back at the beautiful crystal.
He came back the next night.
"Eyaer-ást," he breathed, walking up to her. "What is it you ask of me?"
In return, she only asked to become a part of him, so that they might share in delight and love.
"Yes," he whispered, closing his eyes. "That is acceptable. It would bring me great joy to share myself with one so beautiful as you,"
Her magic danced faster, wrapping tendrils around him like fast-growing ivy strands to reach his mind. He gasped as they entered him, mixing with his magical signature. It was not an entirely comfortable experience.
But then visions danced in his eyes. A boy-a teenager-a man. His name was Anthony Stark. His destiny was to become Iron Man. He was handsome, courageous, daring, bitter, dark, everything after Loki's own heart.
He loved him. He loved him as a parent loves a child, as a friend loves his brother, with everything he had inside him to give.
He cursed with him, wept with him, cheered with him, suffered with him. There was little light in his life.
That is...wrong.
"Eyaer-ást, is there no way to save him from his pains? Can I not go to him and aid him?"
There is a way. She would help him. She, too, could not bear all the heartache Anthony Stark was to suffer alone. They would fix many of his problems, not enough to change his destiny or personality, but enough that they could review his past and observe his future with more light and be content.
"Where should we start?"
She showed the disaster of his playing with magic he could not control, leading to his absolute hatred of the supernatural and unexplained. Then, the bullies of his past that warped his soul and made him cold to compliments and wary of others. Next, to the disaster of his first real love leading to his destructive tendencies and inability to desire lasting relationships. Those were the basics that could be changed.
But to do this required accomplices.
"Thor, I must borrow your form,"
"To do what with, brother?" Thor asked, not out of suspicion but curiosity. Loki was not one to ask many favours even if the two of them were as close as can be.
Loki hesitated. Eyaer-ást pushed him on, gently. "I have found...someone who requires my help. I can not leave him doomed to such a miserable life. Will you not help me, brother? You are the only one I trust to ask this of,"
Thor softened. "Of course, brother. I was merely asking. What do you need me to do?"
"Stay in your room, do not come out until I return and it is safe. I will do the rest. And, Thor," he added before his brother completely left. "No one must know," The blonde nodded solemnly.
That day "Loki" offered a solution to the problem of the builder's outrageous demands. When he returned, he had to finish the mistake of judgement his clone made by distracting the builder's devoted horse.
Sleipnir, one of his many wonderful children, was borne out of this. He found the event to be in less bad taste after that.
"Mother, I must borrow your form,"
"Loki, my child," she said sweetly. "Why do you disobey your father like this?"
Loki was startled. Frigga continued. "Heimdall's eyes follow you,"
"But he will not tell Father, will he?" he asked, horrified at the prospect of being taken away from Tony now.
"Loki," she laid her hands on his shoulders and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "What you do is honourable, it is how you do it that is not wise. But I will not interfere, my son. I go to my chambers. May you return soon, before you cause too many problems,"
He smiled. "Yes, Mother,"
That day "Loki" lead the search to find Thor's missing hammer, Mjolnir, stolen while he slept and returned to Asgard to inform him of the trick of marriage in order to return it to him. Loki came back in time to be the maid of honour to the disguised Thor's bridal party.
As he held no shame for the feminine form, and Thor was quite the ugly woman, it made for a great story to tell when he wanted to see his brother flush the colour of a dying sun.
"Sif, I, uh, would like to borrow your form, if you please,"
"Why, Loki, you never stutter," she teased with obvious pleasure.
He stood straighter, comforted by Eyaer-ást's magical waves to ease his discomfort. "As a friend of Thor's-"
"You mean, the only woman you know you can trust. Why do you want a female form?"
Loki flushed without meaning to. Tony preferred females, he had come to know, and this required one because-
-because he said so. That's why.
"I need it for a...friend," he said, trying not to broadcast his frustration with her interrogation nor his sadness with that fact that he was only a friend, if that. But it seemed she caught some of it.
"Alright, Loki. I'll let you be me, just don't do any weird sex stuff as me,"
"Ha ha ha, very funny. And it wasn't me who did that, it was my clone!" he called after her retreating form.
"Not all of them," she countered and he grumbled to himself. It was just awful that he needed her. She always unnerved him.
That day "Loki" proceeded to drink himself stupid and insult a great many guests at one of Odin's feasts for all of the gods, humiliating the All-Father even if many found his comments funny when not directed at them. Loki snuck in on time for Odin's punishment.
His children were taken from him, ripped apart from his private home. Fenrir bound in a forest alone, Jormungandr thrown into Midgard's sea and Sleipnir forced to be Odin's steed. He mourned for many years their loss, shaken by the perceptive look on his Father's face that said he knew he was doing something else wrong.
Something very, very wrong that he was going to find out.
"Eyaer-ást," Loki began, very hesitant. The more she was used to help him fix Tony, the more volatile she became. "I am not comfortable with Tony's nearly dying during his kidnapping and developing his Iron Man suit,"
It must be that way.
"No, I do not wish him to suffer like that. His pain-"
His pain is necessary to build his character.
Loki bristled. "Pain should never build him into anything. He has had enough of pain! We do not need more-" he stopped himself before he could continue.
You are already too close to him. I will not allow you further contact.
"I will do as I wish, Eyaer-ást. And you shall not stop me," he said, wondering perhaps if Odin had been right about her in the first place.
Because he was without her aid, his magic was spread thin. His Loki-clone was more demented than usual, slipping in Sif's bedchambers to cut off her golden hair. He was too tired to fight the punishment as he usually would have, disgracing himself by allowing dwarves of all creatures to pin him and sew tight the mouth that spread so many lies.
"Loki," Loki turned to his father, blood dripping from his mouth still even after the threads had been cut and all had left the show. "I have reason to believe that you purposefully disobeyed me,"
"Would you believe me if I said otherwise?" he asked bitterly.
"I would," he declared and Loki laughed hysterically, the beginnings of Eyaer-ást's madness showing through. Odin narrowed his eyes.
"And it is I that is stuck with the title of God of Lies,"
"Silence," Loki shut up, but his glowing green eyes were defiant. "I would believe you, my son, but you must first prove it to me. This man I have glimpsed in your future has strong ties to your person," he gestured to an orb that flattened out into a screen in front of Loki's face and sparked with static until it showed the video of the second event Loki had wished to change.
"No," he said, sotto voce in disbelief and horror, colour draining from his face.
"Denounce this man. Tell me you have no ties that you know of to him," Odin pressed on, ignoring the pain so visible on Loki's face. He did not wish it to be true, and so he denied the signs. "Deny that you know him,"
"Father," he started to beg.
"Deny it, Loki!" he boomed with terrible anger. Loki flinched, but could not look away. "Deny him!"
"I," he took a shaky breath, feeling as if his heart broke for merely thinking about it. "I know no such mortal, Father. I have never seen him before, nor would I wish to. He is clearly the loser of this battle and unworthy of my attentions," he scoffed. "He disgusts me with his weakness. I should hope that he-die,"
Satisfied, Odin walked away, leaving Loki alone to watch out the rest of the scene. He threw his face into his hands and sobbed, ashamed beyond belief and throbbing with hurt. Eyaer-ást brought no comfort to him. She was removing her magic from him for denouncing Tony in such a way. He was no longer fit to be joined with her.
Before she could completely leave him, and take away his ability to journey to Tony in his place and time whenever that was, he teleported away to the common room where Thor and his warrior companions usually stayed.
They were there, toasting to the replacement of Sif's hair even if it was as completely opposite to the bright gold it used to be. He walked in, ignoring their glares, straight to the one warrior who held grudges on no one. "Hogan, I am in need of your form. Haste is of the essence,"
Sif narrowed her eyes but said nothing. Thor slammed Mjolnir onto the table, gathering all their eyes. "Brother, I will not allow you to do this. You tell no one what you do with their skin and after this treachery, I am inclined to believe it is nothing good,"
Loki put his hand to his head. "Please, you don't understand. I must go to him, he doesn't understand. He will think worse of me than you could ever and I can not-I can not-" he choked on his words, Eyaer-ást sensing his intent and allowing one last charge. Her magic bounced on his skin, glowing with all the colours associated with purity.
"You love him," Sif gasped. He snapped his head to look at her sharply.
"I will let you use my form," Hogan announced in his gruff voice, succinct as always. Loki blinked at him in surprise, but then nodded gratefully.
That night, "Loki" stole the apples of immortality and hid them on Idunn, promising to return them if any could solve his riddle: What other golden thing could he always catch but never keep?
None could, but he proffered them up to her when the sun rose and spread its yellow rays across the land.
Eyaer-ást left him fully after that.
Tony was gone to him. He could never see Tony again. His mind was split by his weakened heart and easily poisoned by dark thoughts he usually would not have harboured for the enjoyment of life by others was a bitter slap to his face. He had lost the sense of feeling affection, for it belonged with one person he could not reach. And that was when the madness truly descended. His bitterness turned to jealousy and anger, a sharp desire not hampered by rational and moral thought processes. Learning of his real heritage did nothing but burn a pit in his stomach, the idea that he did not belong and never truly would until he found a way to make himself belong again. He was not entirely sure of the actions he took until he fell to Earth with the Chitauri army behind him. And then, the only thing on his mind was making Midgard pay for housing the mortal that was lost to him.
Tony stirred him out of it with a hesitant hand and gently laid it on his cheek. Green eyes, startled, returned to him and he grinned brighter. "Loki, I couldn't care less about any of it. You did what you had to do to come back to me, that's all that matters," he said, almost as if he knew his thoughts which couldn't be possible.
And yet-
"Tony," he breathed, amazed at how forgiving the man was before him and slightly dazed as well. He needed this mortal to understand. "You are-"
"Incredible, brilliant, sexy, awesome? Yeah, I know," he shrugged without any humility, heart pounding away though.
Loki shook his head and Tony literally held his breath. "Everything I had ever longed for,"
"And you're everything I had ever needed," he whispered back, unconsciously leaning in.
Steve coughed and they jumped apart. "That's great and all, but Loki's sort of a criminal,"
"Puny god go home," Hulk agreed, cracking his knuckles. Loki bristled. Tony put a hand on his arm to calm him and the god sighed.
Thor nodded reluctantly. "It is agreed, then, that I shall be escorting my brother home to face Asgardian punishment?" he gave his brother a sympathetic look.
"No," Loki gasped. "Thor, please, you know Odin's wrath. I shall not live through this one-you will have condemned me to my death!"
"I am sorry, brother, but you must learn from your mistakes as I did. Perhaps Odin will be lenient if you explain your case. It is your fault-"
"My fault?" Loki spat, going from terrified to outraged in a split-second. "It is my fault that I am Jotunn and not Asgard flesh and blood like you, so that he loves you more than me? Is it my fault that I had to look for acceptance and appreciation elsewhere than on my "home" planet? Is it my fault for not being enough-for anyone?"
"Loki," Tony chastised with a squeeze and a severe look. He fell silent at that. Stark cleared his throat. "Anyway, we won't be doing any of that because every United states citizen deserves a trial,"
"In case you've forgotten, Stark," Clint muttered, crossing his arms. "He's an alien-not just an illegal immigrant, but a real live alien in every sense,"
"I am aware," he drawled. "But since we're getting married-"
"That's possible now?" Steve blinked. "Two guys getting married, I mean?"
Tony rolled his eyes at his innocent interruption. "Yes, and that automatically qualifies Loki for dual citizenship which means-"
"Wait, hold up," Natasha said, waving her arms in disbelief. "You're getting married to him? Since when?"
"Since always," he bit a little immaturely, but he was getting tired of everyone interrupting him. "I'm having Pepper draw the papers up as we speak," he lied. He shared a look with Loki, but he got neither a silent refusal or encouragement, only a measuring gaze.
"You're all invited, of course," he continued. "Brucey, since we're science bros and you're pretty cool, I'd love to have you as best man-well, you or Rhodey-as long as you don't Hulk out and smash everything,"
"Hulk no been to wedding," he said thoughtfully.
"Come on, we're not seriously going to allow this, are we?" Clint raged, unresolved issues at being brain-whammied coming to the forefront. "I mean, he's a villian and Stark is Stark!"
"We have tried and failed to find a suitable wife for Loki for many years-perhaps, he had only needed a husband," Thor mused half-jokingly. "Should he behave, I see no reason your Midgardian trials to go on," Hulk roared his agreement.
"God, you're all crazy," Hawkeye moaned. "Captain, you're reasonable. What about you?"
"I don't really think it's my place to have a say in," he shrugged apologetically. "If Fury says it's alright, I don't see why we can't at least try it. I'm not a fan of killing anybody, not even Loki,"
"I don't like it any more than you," the Black Widow replied when he looked to her as his last hope. "But it doesn't look like we can stop it,"
"Awesome. C'mon, Loki," he grabbed the god by the hand and started pulling him away. "Let's go plan that wedding of ours,"
He hopped into the first, still-driveable car he saw and hot-wired it to start up while Loki sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. The only sound for a long time was the motor revving and running as Stark drove to his mostly-still-there tower. "So," he began, glancing at his silent passenger. "Are you even okay with this whole marriage thing because I know I kinda brought it up on the spot. I mean, technically, I haven't even asked you but asking know is kinda lame and stuff, but I suppose it would be kind of good to know, seeing as we are getting married.
"And I guess I'm okay with you marrying me just for the get out of Asgard free card, just so you know, if that's all you want out of this, but, um, the thing is, I kinda really like you and it would be nice if you did too and this whole marriage was legit-and by nice, I mean totally epically great-but, whatever. I understand if, you know, you don't like me or wanna get married or something," he shrugged nonchalantly, staring completely straight forward, even as his mouth blabbered on. "This thing I have for you will probably go away soon anyways, since they usually do, some longer than others obviously and this has only been growing since, you know, like pretty much really when you saved my life. So, still new, plenty of time to get over it like I've been trying to do ever since...well, then, when it first started.
"But, anyway, enough about me, I was asking about you and what your thoughts were on this...I think?"
"Am I making you nervous, Tony?" Loki finally answered, drawing out the pause between them for effect, after having listened quite patiently to him with a growing smirk.
"What? No," he denied, shaking his head. "I just always blab my mouth like this to...all the gods who are passengers in the cars I steal...that I might, possibly, get married to,"
"I see," Loki nodded thoughtfully, keeping a poker face now, not that Tony noticed. "And I suppose you'd like an answer straight away?"
Tony bobbled his head enthusiastically. "Yeah, now would be good,"
"Alright then, let's see," he tapped his chin. "Yes, you did spring this on me on the spot-terribly unromantic, I have half a mind not to accept it altogether based on that account-and I would have preferred that you asked me properly since I was raised as a Prince and am the heir to the Jotunn throne and deserve that much at least. Though, I am pleased that you acknowledge that the idea of marrying me is acceptable, I am quite the desirable bachelor after all, even if I were to only use you for my own benefit.
"And this "thing" you say you have for me seems very stubborn and I hope it stay so. You see, I quite enjoy the fact that you are attracted to me...because I "kinda really like you", too,"
Tony slammed on the brakes, jerking the both of them. Loki did not seem very pleased by that. "You're messing with me, right?" he asked, almost in a frenzy. "God, I knew I shouldn't have said anything! You're the Trickster god and I totally gave you so much ammo-"
"Anthony," Loki began seriously, commanding his attention. "I would do no such thing to you, as you well know."
He paused. "So, it's not a trick? Because I swear to-" Loki cut him off by pulling him to him for a rough kiss, breaking away with a messy, wet sound and ragged breathing. "-everything awesome that that's one hell of a yes. Can I have another?"
"As we are to be married, I should hope we will do more than just that," he gave him a very heated look, smirking as he reached his ear. "I have needs, Tony, you must understand. No mortal could ever compare to me in bed,"
Tony punched the gas, slamming them back into their seats. Loki huffed a strand of hair out of his face, but didn't seem as offended this time. In fact, he was looking downright pleased. "I hope you don't mind eloping because I'm marrying you at the nearest place we can and fucking you into the ground right after," Loki just laughed.
Pepper eventually did arrange for the papers, though it certainly wasn't going to be a white wedding for them at that time, and they had a nice, quiet, private ceremony just for fun and picture evidence. Loki's trial was scheduled only a week after-giving them a few days for their honeymoon-and mostly ended as quickly as possible because the two couldn't keep their hands off each other and be quiet about it.
Loki was assigned community service under house arrest-which Tony made full use of-through means of being a consultant to the Avengers. And though not everyone appreciated everything this change brought, Loki was more than happy with this arrangement and couldn't care less. He had everything he wanted now, thanks to Tony, and Tony never needed anything again.
Well, except for a few things in the name of "god appreciation".