AN: Hmm well, this is quite a short but great chapter, it's loaded with intense Raizo and Mika moments. We get to see just how Raizo feels about Mika, the depth of his feelings and what it means to him to have someone like her in his life and how slowly he is freeing himself from the past. Review!
Mika took a deep breath before knocking on Raizo's door, what if he just chose to shut the door in her face or worse ignore her. It was worth the try, because Raizo was worth it to her. They had once fought for each other tooth and nail, almost died for each other more than once. Mika would fight for him again, comfort him and be there for him. Because that was what a good captain did, a good captain went down with the ship, he didn't desert it when it was sinking, and he stayed aboard trying all he could to keep it afloat and when it seemed to be hopeless he would sink with it, as sign of good faith and love. The door opened and there stood the love of her life. She bit her lip hesitantly wondering what to say but she realized she didn't need words at all. She hugged him fiercely holding on tightly to him.
"Oh, Rai" she whispered taking his face in her hands. He had a pained look in his eyes she had last seen three months ago.
"It's going to be okay, do you hear me? I'm here for you" she assured him. Raizo turned away trying to drown out Mika's voice. She didn't understand what was going on inside him and never would.
"Raizo, don't shut me out please, don't turn this back on me" she said softly on his turned back and went on to wrap her arms around him leaning on his back.
"Not just me, everyone else, Marlene, Henri, we're all here for you, you're not alone in this whatever you're feeling right now" she murmured.
"Mika, I—to think I was once one of those—children, I could fight, I could defend myself, what about them?" his voice was barely audible. Mika sighed and went on to face him.
"You did something, you saved them, and many others behind you are going to do the same, you made all the difference in the world by doing that"
"What about the countless men I have killed when I was with Ozunu, they could have been someone's father, uncle, grandfather"
"Raizo, that was the past, you're no longer that person, that's why you're here, that's why you ran away in the first place, and you were never that person"
"You've become this sweet, caring, strong guy and a good kisser too" she chuckled wanting to bring humor to her word to diffuse the tension and tiptoed, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissed him.
Raizo felt the comfort and warmth emanate from Mika while she held him close to her. He wanted to say a lot of things, wanted to tell her how he really felt about what had happened in Marseille. The inhuman anger he had felt at those men, the despair that had crushed him after evacuating the children and the feeling of helplessness that had come with it.
"You must hate weakness in yourself as well as in others" Ozunu had once told them.
All these feelings that Raizo felt were a sign of weakness but now he knew in weakness there lied strength too. It was that kind of strength that made you want to get out of bed and face the day. That kind of strength that kept you going from one day to the next even if it seemed you were falling apart with every minute. Because as much as you wanted to hide and crawl back in your shell you had to come to realize it was not all about you only. There were people who looked up to you, who needed you, who surrounded you, and that, thought Raizo, made all the difference in the world. As much as they drew their strength from you, you also drew yours from theirs and you all kept going.
"I missed you when you were gone" she whispered after they drew apart to catch their breath.
"I missed you too, I always miss you when I'm away from you" he replied stroking her cheek.
"And did you miss me when you once ran away from me?" she pouted making him grin.
"Mika I've always missed you since I met you, whenever we were apart"
"And you kept asking me what took me long every time I came to rescue your sorry ass" she remembered with a chuckle. He bent and kissed her again, making her knees to almost give away.
Mika made an involuntary little sound as the tempo of their kiss changed, from tender to almost urgent. She got lost in the reckless abandon in which they were now kissing, the ferocity of it almost consuming her, like a fire had been lit. Raizo's hands slid from hair to her hips then to her bottom. They slowly drew apart breathless, Mika could feel her heart pounding and knew with his sharp hearing Raizo could hear it just as much.
"Stay" he murmured looking down at her. He looked into her expressive eyes which seemed to ask an unspoken question. For an answer he scooped her up in his arms and carried her away from the lounge to his room.
"Oh Rai…." Mika sobbed into Raizo's shoulder as she came with such a wrecking intensity that she had never experienced before, it frightened her. She felt like she was breaking into a thousand pieces, like every wall she had ever built around herself broke down and melted like wax in his arms. Raizo intertwined their fingers on her pillow looking into her eyes as if they held some treasure inside them.
"Ssssh, its fine nae sarang " he murmured in her ear in his native language, it meant "my love" it was just a term that had come to him without much though, whenever he thought of Mika he thought of good things and he always thought of her as belonging to him. He heard the steady hum of the stereo coming from the lounge playing some soft music.
Stay with me don't fall asleep too soon
The angels can wait for a moment
Come real close, forget the world outside
Tonight we're alone; it's finally you and I….
Aaaah it was meant to be like this, not without you
He stroked her hair away from her sweaty forehead and kissed her lovingly. He was so happy to have her, to experience such a beautiful moment with her, to become a part of her just like she had become part of him. He felt quite elated, and light, like he was soaring in the sky without wings, no gravity to pull him down. He watched her fall asleep now by his side, she had no idea how heartbreakingly beautiful she looked when she fell asleep. He would gladly lay down his life for her just like she had almost done for him.
Cos when I look at my life, and how the pieces fall into place
It just wasn't right without you
When I see how my path seems to end up before your face
Stayed to my heart, this place where we are, was written in the stars
Raizo had never thought himself worth saving or caring for. Ozunu had told them a man's life was worth nothing compared to that of the clan. Death came and went and nobody cared. When she gave him water while he was captivity it had at first surprised him that she would do such a thing, she had reminded him of Kiriko strongly, but her compassion showed in her eyes and so was the beat of her heart, hearts spoke more than tongues did.
Mika stirred and smiled to herself, it wasn't a dream after all. She felt his arms around her, his head rested on her side of the pillow, his warm breath fanning her face. She opened her eyes and they met his, he was watching her. She blushed and tried covering her face with the duvet
"Don't, I want to see you" Raizo said in his husky baritone voice pulling the cover off her head. Mika giggled and glanced briefly around her.
"What time is it?' she asked seeing the bed lampshade illuminate what appeared to still be darkness.
"Around eleven, are you hungry?" he asked with concern.
"Hmm not exactly, just lost track of time…."
"How? If I may ask?" there was a teasing element creeping in his voice, she laughed lightly
"Let's see, I got a little side tracked by this other hot ninja guy"
"Just a little?" he raised his eyebrow.
"Don't get me started" she grinned thinking the man was gifted down there and was so good in the sack.
"Mika" he started in a half whisper, she inclined her head.
"That was…beautiful" he said struggling to find a word to fully describe what they had just shared. Mika buried her face in the crook of his neck shyly; Raizo laughed lightly and kissed her hair.
"What was your favorite part?" she asked in anticipating tone.
"Every part of it, but the screaming my name part did things to me" he tried to keep a straight face seeing she was already flushing.
"Oh my" she laughed.
"I'd rather hear that, than see you cry or in pain" he said grimly, the thought of Mika suffering was an unwelcome one in his mind.
She stroked his chest, her eyes filling at the glimpse of his scars. Raizo wiped the tears from her eyes and began kissing her gently then he gently rolled her under him as if to reaffirm her. It was the first best night of his life and it hoped he would have many nights like this with her. They finally fell asleep much later exhilarated from their passionate love making.