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Chapter #38: Hollow Crown

"And you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
a million miles away I would keep myself
I would find a way"

~Johnny Cash -Hurt

1559, February 21st.

Valladolid, Spain

Carlos tried on the best gowns and told his chamberlain, gently, to bring his chaplain. He wanted to rid himself of all sins before he came to her again.

Catalina meanwhile was surprised by all the heavy food that came her way. It had been only three months since she told the world of her pregnancy. Servants and ladies flocked around her like hens. She supposed she should be proud, she had done her duty to Spain and her family. This was another step closer, her mother wrote in her last letter, to the throne.

It was all her mother could think of -the throne. The prospect of being Queen of Spain was not so appealing as before. There were duties, ceremonies, pilgrimages she had to attend to and she did not enjoy being watched after like she was some defenseless creature, every second! It was terrible.

She complained to Carlos but as usual he responded with his goofy grin and told her how proud she should be to be mother of the future King of Spain after him. Was there no end to this martyrdom?

Annie was struck by horror when news came from the Prince of Asturias' household in Valladolid that his wife was with child. Philip sprung from his chair, and had it not been by his self control he would have struck the poor messenger. Squeezing his fists he ordered his son's messenger to send a dispatch of gifts as congratulations for his daughter in law's pregnancy. "We hope it shall be a Prince" Spain's much needed Prince. He left it unsaid but he was sure his son would understand the meaning.

Poor child. Annie feared for the child having a mother like Katherine -she refused to think of Katherine as anything but Katherine. Vain little woman, she had done her hardest to dress herself in Spanish fashions but the people continued to saw her as a foreigner. She had failed to take after her example -Annie had not failed to act her part as the perfect, submissive wife holding her tongue in public and speaking only when necessary or spoken to. Katherine was too proud to ingratiate herself with anyone, even with her feign reverence everyone saw through her little act.

And then there was Carlos. What future could that child hope for sired by a mad man like Carlos?

"What if he turns like Carlos?" Philip muttered bringing his hand to his forehead "May the peace of Christ be with us" He said crossing himself, praying deeply for the future of the child and the future of his country. This was the child whom he would inherit his dominions, but would he -to a child born of a mad man and the daughter of a bastard Princess, part Spanish, part German, and part English descended from a bastard line of the Lancasters?

"No" he shook his head pushing his head against the wall "I will never make that child my heir. As long as I live, God as my witness Anne, Carlos' child will never sit on the throne of Spain"

Anne wondered how much Philip would regret his words when he saw the child?

Madman or not the boy was his son and he was only thirteen. "You have to give him some credit, he is going to be a father at fourteen. Don't you remember how it was to be a father so young?"

He turned to Annie his eyes piercing hers. "You can't be serious. That child will bring nothing but misery." He remembered his grandmother and her mad laughter. No! The curse of madness would end with Carlos and his brood.

"Where are you going? Philip"

Philip attempted to escape but Annie hit the floor with her cane drawing his attention. "Philip you are not going to the Cortes and partner with Ruy or Alba to bully them into submission to discard your LEGAL heir!"

"He will be a monster Annie" he spun around her in a look that could scare any mortal but not her. She had lived under the same room with Mary for three years, battled Gardiner, battled Northumbeland for her children's claim. Nothing scared her anymore.

"How are you so sure? Has God granted vision to My Lord Husband? Tell me what will you do years from now when you realize you have ruined another child's life?"

"Don't ... Don't Anne" He warned but she did not back down.

"Philip that son needed you the most, you were not there for him in his formative years. There is nothing you or I can do for Don Carlos but there is something that HAS to be done for your grandson. Your grandson Philip! Are you going to deny his claim simply because of his parentage?" How different was he from her mother if he denied his own blood, she meant to say.

Philip knew very well what she meant to say and he growled, literally growled at her for meddling in his family's affairs.

"Need I remind you these are my affairs. This is my family now! I have a say as much as you do. And no child awaiting in my belly will be put above Carlos'!" Her words took him by surprise he forgot his anger and walked towards her. Kneeling down he raised his hands and placed them on her belly where the awaited Christ rested.

"Bless this child, Annie ... since when?"

She smiled to herself, able to clear those horrendous thoughts from his head. Her husband could be so staunchly, but he always had a soft spot for her. He let her yell and speak plainly when they were not in public.

"Since the coming of this month"

"Annie" he started raising himself, taking her hands "you have made me so happy. Bless you" he said repeatedly bringing her hands to his lips.

In her belly awaited his heir, the true Prince of Asturias but he would not tell Annie. She had gone through such terrible labor pains to bring Princess Margaret and the King of England into this world, he did not want to stress her anymore with this subject of Carlos and his petty little wife.

Annie sensed what was racing through his mind. She shook her head inwardly. She would not let Philip place his grandson above hers. She had no pretension to see her son on the throne of Spain, she was tired of all these plots and courts intrigues though she lived with them for the sake of her children and Katherine.

The change of heart in the Prince of Asturias surprised everyone, they were thankful to their mistress for bringing this change of heart in their master. "Bless you Su Alteza" They declared with their hands extended outwards to receive her blessing.

She placed her palms above their sweaty, dirty ones and gave them their blessings then soon after she was done she would withdraw to her bedchamber and order her ladies (among them one Jane Dormer whom her mother had sent with the intention to spy on her and report every misbehavior to her mother, and then there was another reason. Besides a useful spy Jane Dormer had volunteered for her lady mother after she'd wed the Count of Feria, the Ambassador in England, who'd gone through many pains with his former betrothe's family for their union) to put up a hot bath. The stench of these people who were so alien, so sullen to her was unbearable.

"What will Her Highness be wearing today?" Asked the new Countess of Feria, Jane Dormer, her mother's trusted lady in waiting.

How lucky Jane was to be married to the man of her dreams. The Count of Feria had gone through so much trouble to have her. What had her idiotic husband done but please her with compliments and dry lips?

"The green one"

"Those are the Tudor colors"

"So? I said the green one, His Highness likes that very much" It was true, Carlos said it complimented her eyes. She wished he could be a man and stand up to his father and his councilors for once in his miserable life.

She sunk in her chair after they were done dressing and arranging her hair. She looked down on the small lump forming in her stomach and thought about the life inside her. Would it be like Carlos?

"Catalina" He kissed her on the cheek when he entered her privy chambers.

"Carlos" she said as he liked to be called. Never too formal, never too fancy, never too personal. She vowed after George she would never fall in love again. Looking at this boy she wondered how could she ever compare his weak, deformed body to George's? George's was skinny, long with broad shoulders while his was skinnier, short and decayed with slumped shoulders -the hump in his back made it so.

Love me -his eyes commanded, they did not ask. Carlos did not know how to plead, he expected people to love him, simply because of his position. Poor child, she thought. I have to deal with this monster.

His limps trembled as he neared her. He looked oddly at her. It was the baby that he worried about her, never her. She was only seen as a vessel, his salvation to be delivered from the evil of his father and his ministers whom he kept around him, and of course the Queen (who in his opinion was neither great nor beautiful as she claimed to be) and to prove and for all he was capable of siring a healthy son.

Mad, sane, what did he care what the mental state of the child was? As long as it was a boy?

Katherine of Aragon must be rolling in her grave, she thought with a grim smile she gave to one of Carlos' servant. Carlos followed her gaze and smiled wickedly, the man shrunk in his gaze and backed away. He knew what was coming to him.
To see one of her heirs married to this monster ... What future would this child have indeed?

Every day of every month, every hour of every second that passed she hated how she was being watched, how she was driven early into her confinement. Annie had come in early July driven by the heat of Madrid into Valladolid. She was not housed in the same household as her sister. She feared too much for her safety and that of her unborn child, or children as Philip claimed it was since there was constant movement in different sides of her abdomen.

Oh how Catalina envied her. Even in her pregnancy she managed to keep her queenly grace. Catalina was not so lucky, at eight months pregnant she was as heavy as a whale. She could barely stand the heat and her legs were hole unlike her sister's whose bad leg should have made it impossible for her to walk yet here she stood with only one cane looking as formidable as ever.

Carlos bore a look of hatred towards his stepmother. She was ugly, even now his father competed with him. He boasted she was waiting for two instead of one. "Your Majesty" he said bowing to his father and leading his wife out of her confinement chamber to the outer chamber to formally greet Their Majesties.

"Your Majesties" she said to the both of them ignoring her husband's growls.

"Your Highness" His father acknowledged his son and went to his daughter in law. He thanked all the saints he had not fallen for this vain creature seeing all the heavy furs she was dressed in, despite being told that it could add extra weight that could be harmful for the safe delivery of the child.

The child ... the child, Philip thought. God how it will look? Having no other way to refer to his grandson, it was an it, and the less he thought of it, the less he would avoid disappointment.

"Sister" Annie was more tender in her address to sister and stepson. "Your Highness, you both look very great, me and His Majesty have prayed day and night for your firstborn" She said not wanting to raise her sister's hopes telling her she was going to have a boy because, considering who she was married to, the possibilities of that, and even if it was -it would not live long, were very low.

"Thank you Your Majesty, our prayers are for you and the King, we have done a pilgrimage and build a chapel in your husband has prayed day and night for a brother"

Did he really? Philip raised an eyebrow.

As if on cue, Carlos stepped forward and bowed his head even lower to his father. "If Your Majesty wants to see the chapel, we have had it blessed by your Archbishop but we would like to have your blessing and my wife of course, for MY son" He was possessive when he talked of his unborn.

He was not stupid. He knew what his father and his wife talked behind his back. Catalina said that her sister was a cunning, ambitious woman, devil's spawn who cared for nothing and no one. She would use his half siblings to depose him and if given the chance, she would feed poison to their son, filling his head with nonsense and as a result he would end up giving his claim in favor of her children.

Do you want that Carlos? Do you? No, his son would be King after him. Nobody would depose him. He would not let this bastard woman deprive him and his heirs of their birthright -because this -he was sure- was to be the first of so many.

Philip looked at Annie dubious of his son's intentions. Annie gave him a short smile that convinced him and they walked together with their guards, just in case, to the so called chapel his son had done in his honor.

"Well how do you like it?" He asked, his eyes hopeful.

"It is fine" Philip said shortly glancing behind his shoulder for impending danger. Annie put her hand on his shoulder and slid it to his arm, joining his hand, giving a reassuring squeeze.

"It looks as it should. How often do you come here sister?" She asked Katherine, her conscience insistent on calling her by her Christian name.

Catalina nodded in silence her ladies, among them the Countess of Feria flocking around her.

"I do not see enough seats. A chapel should have enough seats for its guests. How many servants do you have?" His gaze was inquisitive, Carlos shrank subdued.

"Hundreds maybe more, Her Highness needs more maids around her-"

He was interrupted by his father's cold voice "Her Highness has enough women around her, you do not want it to be said that you have a house filled with women. Now give me a straight answer. How many servants or have you forgotten your sums?"

"No My Lord father I have not, I have about ... four hundred" He said sullenly.

"Look up Carlos"

Carlos did as he was told. Philip was proud of the change, for a moment he was almost convinced, almost ...

"You have to please the people around you son"

"A man who builds on the people builds on mud with all due respect My Lord father"

"Spoken like a scholar, I see your ... wife has helped you with your speech but you still twitch your lips and I hear you pout and threaten your tutors. Why do you do that? Do you expect the whole world to like you?"

"No father but I-"

"You do what? A King is not expected to be loved, you want to be loved? Find a pet (one you will not kill) and start treating your servants as you want them to treat you otherwise you will be the same little ungrateful man" Monster -he wanted to say, but even a King had to set himself when addressing his son. He could ruin the boy's confidence and make him hate him more.

Carlos was at a loss of words. I hate you -his eyes screamed. I hate you, I hope you die, you lousy, poor excuse of a father ... The only person who loved him was his grandmother Juana and God had taken her from him as He took his mother. Carlos hated God, he hated his father,he hated everyone at the moment ...

Catalina swung her arm around his and spoke softly in his ear "My love it has been a long day, maybe we can show His Majesties" her gaze shifted from him to his father and her sister "to their chambers. I am sure they will enjoy the reparations we've made to your household"

Her voice soothed him, it calmed the beast.

"Yes, yes you are very right My Lady, let us show Their Majesties to their chambers"

Philip did not speak on their way back.

"The chambers are bigger than I remember, too much ostentation however" Annie said attempting to reach common ground between the two proud men.

"They have carved your arms, the royal and those of Dona Katherine"

"Dona Catalina My Lord father, Catalina, she is my wife now"

"Ah yes" Philip says acknowledging Katherine's new name, mocking in his voice,smiling in spite of himself to the little minx's look of disdain. "Yet the coat of arms should be of the King and Queen"

"Your Majesty did not tell us you were coming-"

"Yet you had this prepared" He indicated to the inner chamber where he and Annie were supposed to sleep.

"No need for thanks" Catalina said turning away to lie down in the comfortable chair behind her with her pregnancy as the most obvious excuse. "It befit the King and Queen and look to these chambers, I am sure there are no more luxurious apartments to be found in Spain"

Annie rolled her eyes mentally at her sister's flaunting of luxury. Actually, there were better apartments to be had in the Royal Residence Philip was building, she had seen part of the construction. Philip was not lying when he boasted to her father and her Aunt Elizabeth, that he was building the greatest palace to be found in Christendom. Philip wanted to achieve immortality -which he disguised through the ideology of being God's chosen- by any means.

"It looks fair"

"Aye" Philip agreed his hand still holding unto his wife's. "It shows pride but it will be for another occasion"

Carlos' eyebrows rose in anger. What? All this good work for nothing? Oh his father would pay! He would surely pay.

"You are not going to stay?"

"Careful Don Carlos, that temper does not befit a Prince of Asturias. I commended your work but unfortunately Her Majesty are worn and we need proper lodgings"

"But you have lodgings here, there is no place closer in miles and miles. Why refuse your son's hospitality?"

"Later Carlos and congratulations on your wife's work but you should ask her to stay in confinement where a woman's place should be when she is carrying the next heir of Spain."

Annie suddenly smiling at her sister's angry stare, equal in measure to her husband's,said "No more talk of this for now, it upsets the little ones"

Gripping her cane harder, squeezing his hand, Philip nodded and turned to his son and bowed as his wife, and then they left the room.

In turn Carlos lashed out at her ladies, since he would not be so careless as to lash out on her -in her state. He took his doublet and ripped to shreds.

"Pick it up!"

Her ladies looked fearfully at Don Carlos and turned to their mistress. She threw her hands in the air, "Do as he says" she said in defeat.

Carlos in full frenzy picked one of her ladies' arms. It was the Countess of Feria "You!" He said to the frightful girl "Burn it!"

"Your Highness I ..."

"I said burn it or I will send you back to England where you belong now do as I say or I will have you whipped as well." He started to laugh. Not a healthy laugh but strained as his joints as he grew tired of holding her prisoner.

"Carlos, my love, please no more that is enough"

Carlos still laughing full of gaiety turned to his wife "Don't you see she is your mother's spy but she is her spy no longer. Count Feria is my father's man and she is now his woman. I will not have a spy in our midst. If she is our woman then let it burn it, burn it. Burn it!" He stopped laughing abruptly "I said burn it! Burn it in front of us or I will have you whipped!"

Jane wiped the tears from her eyes. Her companions brought her a torch and water in case the fire spread on the tiled floors.

She clutched to the torch and looked to her mistress for strength but she received only a look of deference. Remembering her husband, she clutched on harder and watched as the flames engulfed the doublet.

"Kick it"

"What?"

"I said kick it"

She was about to but Carlos' maddened laughter interrupted her "Without your shoes"

"B-but Your Highness I will burn"

"Then burn you shall for your offense"

"Your Highness I have done nothing but being loyal" She stammered "Please let me prove myself to you" But he would not have it.

"Kick it!" He cried.

She approached the flames and on her bare feet she tiptoed and raised her left foot and gave it one hard kick.

It landed on the wall. Water poured down on the doublet as the fire spread to the ceiling and to the Countess of Feria's foot. "Ah!" She screamed as she felt the fire on her foot become extinguished. Her foot was completely red and there were blisters on her ankle, the fire had reached to her knees and destroyed part of her dress.

"Now you are crippled as she"

She did not need to ask who 'she' was. Was this the thanks she got from her mistress after years of service to her family, mainly her mother? What had Jane done to displease her. She did not even bother to ask if she was alright, she sat perfectly still, her face a stony mask, her eyes looking with dread at the ruined walls.

That was all she cared about. As far as Jane knew, she was just another expendable asset.

God damn her! Unknown to her Catalina was thinking the same thing.

God damn her and Carlos to hell.

Carlos suddenly with a change of heart sat next to his wife and laid his hands on her swollen stomach. Almost on instinct the unborn child flinched, it stopped moving abruptly and then shifted, changing positions, making her uncomfortable.

Yes ... God damn them, she thought as her eyes were focused on the black spot. God damn them all to hell.

"What did you think of my son?"

"I think he is a freak, just as you said" A pitiful creature but yet she was sympathetic to it. She was surprised this was the first time he asked her of his opinion about Carlos. She had not wanted her opinion of his freakish son to ruin their marriage when she and Catalina first met him.

The boy was disturbed, deeply disturbed and there was nothing left to feel but pity. If he HAD died Spain would have been more joyful, and no doubt so would his father, she thought looking into his hard blue eyes.

"Poor child" she said though "Without a mother and nobody to give him a strict hand, what more can we expect from such a thing?"

"I do not understand you. We have heard countless reports yet you insist on admitting him in our palace where you sleep!"

"He is a child, a sick and pitiful monster, but a child nonetheless." She said, berating "And don't we want to see what his son will turn like?" She asked haughtily.

Just thinking of the child drove him mad.

"I do not want to see what that child will turn like. I forbid him entrance to my palace"

"Philip" she said, her voice turned softer "He is the Prince of Asturias and heir presumptive until I provide you with a son but I hardly see the need if he gives Spain a healthy heir." Philip turned away, Annie wrapped her arms around his waist, her hand going inside his doublet and his chemise "Why don't you give him a chance? A ruffian's son should have surely deserved a chance. Didn't our Lord Jesus Christ tell Mary Magdalene's persecutors to cast the first stone he who is without sin"

Philip turned, smiling at his wife's wittiness. "You assume this child will be the Lord's blessed?"

"Are we not all the Lord's blessed?" Who cared what a few men of letters and priests said in their interpretation of the bible. The principal message was clear, they were all God's children and Carlos' child would be no different. She made Philip see that.

He smiled and nodded in agreement giving away his response "But" he said "with one condition"

Annie raised her eyebrows. "Which is?" She calmly asked, bracing herself for whatever conditions he would put to the maddened couple.

"If it is a boy and supposing that the boy is healthy, he gets to stay with us"

Annie stayed silent, deep in thought, pondering on his proposal.

"How do you like that?" He asked.

His head turned, she reached for his lips and they were briefly tempted to go to their chamber, but her wild kicks reminded her she must not –for her children's sake. "You are doing a noble thing" She said as they parted.

"All thanks to you and besides, Diana will be taken by the excitement of having a cousin to play with. You know she's been bragging about Katherine's pregnancy since it began. She's sent half of the dolls we've given her to Katherine to train for her upcoming baby."

She laughed at her daughter's antics. "She is a very strange child, me and her father never knew where she got these outrageous ideas"

"I like it, and with a mother like Katherine I think the child should brace itself'

Annie nodded. "Poor child, I am more worried about Katherine than Carlos, at least your son will pamper him and spoil him rotten, but Katherine? I know for a fact the girl was not bred for motherhood, I remember her when she was a child, outrageous and causing mayhem to George's companions. She said she wanted no one but George all to herself"

"Speaking of which, how is your brother and the beauty Queen of Scots"

She looked pointedly at him.

He chuckled "Jealous of the captive Queen of Scots?"

"I am not jealous" She said avoiding his gaze but even she could tell she was lying by the way she felt her lips twitch and click at the thought of her husband loving other women, or thinking them more beautiful than she. "I am simply surprised that you asked and to answer you, he is very well and the Queen is as Gomez Farias told you with child"

"I recall Feria also told me that she screamed at her head lady in waiting, Mary Seaton when she found your brother's love letters to your sister"

She rolled her eyes. Oh leave it to George to be so careless "That is old history, he is in Scotland we are in Spain. They will never see each other again."

"But does she think of him, do you think?"

"Of course she doesn't, there is only one person she loves and that is Katherine."

1559, June 1st

London Borough: Greenwich -Palace of Placentia

Mary felt well at court. The Lord Protector was rarely absent, when he was his wife, Bess, took charge. She eyed the ladies with scrutiny, her gaze fell upon the young Scottish Queen.

"You must be the Queen of Scots" She said with an air of indifference. What an odd thing to say for someone as Bess who saw her every day. "I almost did not recognize you with all the weight you put on"

"Charming Bess as always" Mary said with queenly grace but with an iron twist. "When shall I return to Scotland?" She asked cutting straight to the chase "It has been an awful lot since I have gone there, my subjects must miss their rightful sovereign"

"All its due course Your Majesty. Anni- Your Majesty promised your return after your pledged yourself to full friendship with our young King, after you have your son you can return. Now it is too dangerous with the weather as it is"

Mary ignored Bess' slip and pressed on "It has been years since I have paid my respects to my mother, I would wish if I had not done so enough in this life to do this in the next for she is surely watching me from above."

Mary's mother in law had lost her mother too to misfortune and foreign enemies. But at least Bess had come to know her and enjoy sixteen years of friendship with her. Mary hardly remembered her mother, she had been shipped away from Scotland to France when she was four, and after being admitted into the Senechaux and great Duchess, Diana de Poiters' household, her past had become a blur. Not even a picture of her survived after she'd been taken by the fever. Her family in France had done all they could to spare her the misery of returning to that dreary place in Scotland where they told their King she would be surely be captured once she set foot there, and she had, but the King had refused to listen. He'd been too afraid at the time to engage in another war and the Queen Dowager had proven a skilled commander, his loss of Calais still fresh on his mind he send her packing with not another word.

Bess seemed to consider on this, but at last she spoke with the dignity she was known for, and straightened herself "Your Majesty I will assure you a safe return. It has been our former Queen Dowager's task and by God as my witness I shall ensure it but as of now you must remain here, for this very same reason. Now if you would be so kind as to join me and my ladies, I am sure your own would like to keep company. I am eager to know if you and my son have decided upon names" Bess said with a tone that marked an end to the conversation.

Bess who could see no fault in her son, had no bothered to scold him for his rude behavior after he and Mary had argued in front of the whole court of his love letters to the red haired bastard Katherine Tudor.

It was impossible to drive that red haired bastard out of his mind. He was enamored with the portrait he kept in his mind. Mary was naught but a spare in their relationship, he imagined Katherine when he was with her, even when he locked eyes with her he would be comparing them.

"You can't have two people in a marriage George!" She said when they were alone in their chambers.

"Mary there are just letters is not like I am going to have the opportunity to sleep with her, she is in Spain for Christ's sake"

He did not see the blow coming to his face, he tried to calm her but she grabbed a pillow from their bed and started beating him with it.

George hastily grabbed her wrists and took the pillow from her. "Be rid of your jealousy woman! Katherine was a fancy nothing more but she is still my cousin, am I not allowed to keep some remembrance of her?"

"Nay!" She cried patting her giant belly "I am your wife and this child here will be your son and daughter. I have raised you higher My Lord than any man or woman"

He knew what her last sentence implied and bowed his head in obedience, but for Mary that wasn't enough. She snatched the pillow from his hands and started beating him again and again until he finally snapped and snatched it once again from her hands and threw it across the room, then he grabbed her wrists and threw her on the bed.

"How dare you? How dare you? Do you not know who I am? Do you have any idea what you've done? I am the Queen of Scotland, an anointed Queen from birth, I could have your head right off your body"

"Well do it! Do it! Maybe then we could agree that this marriage was a mistake!"

His words wound her deeply but she did not let him see through her sadness. Standing dignified and full of grace as the holy mother in heaven, she curtsied and left their chambers. "Where are you going? Mary!"

But she was already gone. She ordered all her things to be packed and ready for their departure tomorrow morning. If she was not going to be treated with respect she would go to a place where she would.

As Spring tide came to its end in the twenty second of May, Mary had all her things packed and boarded the carriage with a few of her French-Scottish ladies that she'd been allowed to keep, and rode to her husband's manor in Richmond.

The rode was not a hard one and it did not take long either. It was hours away from the palace. If George felt like he wanted to talk, all he would need to do is take a carriage to Richmond. It would be his first trial to show her that he cared. But she was not going to beg him anymore, she was tired of playing the dutiful wife. In Richmond her court had a life of its own. There was mock jousting among the page boys which Mary had allowed to attend her and come and go as they wished. "It will serve me to practice for my future son" She told Mary Seaton, her chief lady in waiting who took charge of all the activities in their little court.

Life had returned to normal for the Queen of Scots, she ate and slept soundly. But there were time, very few, when she thought of her husband and she was often reminded by the sudden change of movement of her child.

She gave a long arduous sigh. Breathing had become difficult. Cloistered in this large castle, she had everything she wanted, all the merriment she could wish for, yet it was not the same … without George, she self admitted.

Catalina could see Carlos was determined to ignore his family. So she deciding it was better not to meddle let him have his fits of rage. What did she care? As long as she had a son that was all that mattered. Was it not? What if she did not have a son and gave birth, albeit a healthy, daughter? Would she be punished and pushed aside by everyone, including the holy church, as her grandmother and her namesake?

No. That would not happen. Catalina was smarter, she was entirely devoted to her cause whereas the Princess of Aragon had refused to accept the truth that she was past childbearing. Catalina was younger and more beautiful and even if she did have a daughter, her husband was the Prince of Asturias, heir apparent. Nobody could step over her child's claim, not even a second son. The laws were clear and Spain had Queens before. What did she have to worry about?

He refused to let his father and his new Queen visit them after what he considered their folly.

"He sees it as a curse. He thinks I am a monster"

Well you are, she thought, and I hate being stuck with you. "Beauty and the beast" were the jests that were whispered in the towns. When she was Queen she would see to it that everyone who disrespected her was punished.

"Carlos your father wants to see you, are you going to endanger your position and our son for your animosity against your old man?" She said slyly.

"No! Our son will be King I know it!"

"Then" she said and went to him cupping his chin with her two middle fingers and raising his head, forcing his sullen, dark blue eyes to meet her wide emerald green ones. There was none of the crazed intent in her eyes. Her green eyes dazzled him and they were drawing him on. In his enchanted state if she were to ask him now to jump from the nearest bridge he would do it "I suggest you show your good will to your father"

Carlos was ready to protest but she drew her fingers to her fan resting on the vanity behind her and hit the back of his head with it "Don't you want to be your father's heir? Are you going to let my sister wear you down? What if she conceives a son and I conceive a daughter have you thought about that?" You big oaf –she thought.

"No!' He said "You will conceive a son I am sure of it"

"You are sure?" She asked, laughing, it was not a hearty laugh, it was strained and scared everyone in the room, including Carlos. "You are sure? Tell me Carlos when have you ever been right about everything?"

"Philip-"

"Your Lord father, he is your Lord father, do not forget that!" She reproached in a high pitched tone "Your Lord father will decide who gets to be King and do you think he and the Duke of Alba and the Prince of Eboli and all his flock of sheep would be so careless as to kill this child while he sleeps in me?"

If anything Annie would wait until her child was born to see if it was a boy or girl and if it was healthy. "I am safe for now –as long as you don't invite another astrologer!"

"I wanted to know what you were having!"

"And you only angered your father and caused the poor man to be thrown into a damp cell awaiting the verdict for his Inquisitorial trial!" She retorted. She growled. She was frustrating with her husband's foolish behavior. She had no patience for stupidity especially when she was well aware how many enemies they had.

Carlos should be more careful. But what use was discussing with a useless oaf!

Oh they should have let her marry George, this would be his child. They would never have to worry about intrigues or plotting!

But it was as it was …

Carlos looked at his wife and he started to see her in a different light.

She sighed frustratedly "Don't you see Carlos the more you deny your father his due honors the more he will resent and want to destroy this child!"

"No he will not dare I know he will not"

"How?" she interrupted brusquely "Have you read his mind? You know he's always been looking for an excuse to exclude you from the line of succession. You are giving him one, you are handing your resignation in a silver platter."

"I am aware of my duties" He said.

"Then act on them, it is just one favor I am asking you. I am not your mother Carlos you've had one and she died" Her tone was hard and his gaze fell as a result of it. Nobody had told him about his mother, he wasn't even allowed to keep a miniature of her. His father did not want a painful reminder, but what was more painful than being stuck with a son who hated you? Carlos wondered if the child inside his wife's belly would hate him as well. If this would be God's way of punishing him?

No, I have reason to hate my father. His anger was justified, the child's would not. The child would love him, he knew he would, he just knew.

And his wife Catalina, she should be proud she was carrying the future King of Spain. He hated that she complained to him constantly, she was a tight lipped bitch and he was powerless against her. She was so beautiful, he could not be angry at her, but when she was well again he would voice his complaints to her. For this attitude could not -would not- last!

But now she was doing it again, seeing Carlos' mood about to change.

She began to plead and sob uncontrollably. Tears fell down her cheeks and in a dramatic twist she fell to her knees. Her stomach was so large it nearly touched the ground. He grew paranoid. What if something happened to the baby? What if she harmed it? She would not let anyone harm his little boy, he was his little boy. He would be his future Prince. He would love him, he would give him many toys and servants, and he would never render any judgment on his behavior. He would even join him in his activities hunting animals together, chasing rabbits, slitting their throats and watching in amazement as they bled to death. There would be nothing he would not deny to his little one. He would be the father his father never was to him.

He came to his knees, the awful hump in his back visible through his chemise as he tore his vest and took off his doublet and put it around her to stop her shivering. "Catalina … … Catalina please, I am sorry. I am sorry if you do not want to go into confinement you won't, I will not inflict it on you. I promise, I promise" and he went on and on how he should have never suggested it and he blamed only himself for listening to his father "It is my father's fault" There were tears in his eyes now. "I thought it would make you feel better. The physicians said it would, I am sorry, we can share our bed, I can be with you again"

He was nothing but a fourteen year old boy in love and worried for the little life harbored inside of her.

How pathetic.

Catalina rolled her eyes. Her upper lip twitched and she threw her fan at him in frustration.

He half smiled. It only meant she was happy again. She was no longer crying, it could only mean she was happy, very happy. He did not say a word to her for the whole evening, their servants they brought to his father's palace were used to their mood changes. But even if their new mistress was arrogant and selfish they much preferred her company above her husband's.

"He is a monster" They said and she was aware of their whispers.

They'd packed all their belongings when they moved her to her father's law current royal residence in Aranjuez, the palace bearing the same name. The heat was unbearable. She felt she was in Dante's inferno, the ninth circle of hell.

She rubbed her temples. How much longer would she have to wait for the critter to be born?

Jane suffered from her feet, having been burned "accidentally" (or so she claimed -she was too afraid to tell her husband the truth of what her feet experienced in the Prince's household), every step she took was like martyrdom. She'd grown very resentful at her mistress' daughter. She had done to stop Carlos from inflicting pain at her, she had turned the other cheek like a "good" Christian. God how she hated her. She wrote daily to her husband, the ambassador in England, to leave his post and return home or let her come to England. She could not stand another day in the Prince's household! And her mistress' daughter's mood swings were becoming more unbearable. She was about to break down and cry.

If Catalina could she would write to her mother and ask her to take the new Countess of Feria. Catalina could barely stand the little chit. She gave her awful glares and there was nothing she or Carlos could do anymore without risking her sister's ire. His little stunt against the Countess had not been unnoticed and the Count suspecting there was more to his wife's "accident" sent an angry letter to the King demanding that something be done.

Carlos had received a heavy reprimand after that. He was not the only one. Their spending had been cut and their household reduced. Once again she had to suffer for her husband's foolishness.

How she hated being here! She blew her fan furiously. The heat in these rooms was unbearable and to make matters worse she had just received news that her sister, her bastard sister was with child too!

It was not fair! How could that pompous bitch get pregnant at the time she was about to give birth to her child? Why oh why God are you so cruel to me?

Catalina rubbed her temples and threw a cup of tea at Jane.

'What is this?"She screamed watching Jane dodge the next cup she threw at her.

"Tea … Your Highness" She responded meekly. She vowed as soon as her pregnancy is over she would resign. It was much more than a person should bare. She had done her duty to the Duchess of Bavaria, she owed nothing to her rotten daughter!

"Tea? Tea? I asked for beer or wine? Is that so hard for you to copy?"

"Your Highness" One of her ladies who felt sorry for Jane responded in her stead "His Majesty said that it would be dangerous for the child and his physician recommended that a tea would be best to calm your nerves"

"I could care less what is good for the child. What about me? Am I to suffer because of this big lump" She asked comparing her lump with her husband's hump. Just thinking of it made her frightful. She heard from her mother how dangerous childbirth could be. Many women died, her grandmother nearly died from her last miscarriage.

Under no circumstances she would let the child take her life, boy or not.

Her ladies gasped in shock, appalled by their mistress' words.

"But Your Highness you must think for the child's welfare, we all want another Prince…"

"Yes" Catalina interrupted "I know another child so you could place him above my husband is that it?"

"No, no" they said shaking their heads but their looks gave them away. Their guilt was clearly visible. "We only want your best interest at heart"

"I have had enough of your best interests, every one of you out and run back to your daddies so they can tell His Majesty that I am no one's servant! My duty is first and foremost to my husband!"

Her ladies did not need to be told twice, they whispered amongst themselves afterwards they –as Catalina suspected- went back to their fathers and told them what had happened.

"What is the Princess of Asturias thinking?"

"We would have done much better with a Princess of France, Elisabeth would not be this tight lipped and conspiratorial"

Others who were more experienced voiced their father's opinions "If only humility could be hereditary, look at the Queen of Spain, she is gracious and has left her heretic ways to ingratiate herself with the people. She no longer wears English or French fashions."

"Oh" all her servants went "why couldn't we have a mistress like the Queen?" But they were second daughters and second daughters had no better prospects, their only way out of the Princess' service would be if she gave birth to a daughter or had a miscarriage. Then she would be disgraced and they could go back to the countryside or join the King's adopted daughter's household.

Catalina spent her nights dreading for the child's arrival. Carlos was no longer allowed in his rooms. He had broken his promise. He sent his servants instead and he said the Prince pleaded and pleaded with his father but the King had grown tired of his son's complaints and refused his request.

"Idiot" she muttered. It did not take an intellectual to know he had fought and cried like the maniac he was and taken by one of his melancholy states, with his father.

Give her armor, give her breastplate, give her a sword to strike down all her enemies.

"Aunt Kitty!" She turned and her face brightened, all her troubles suddenly forgotten.

"My Princess" Catalina squealed opening her arms to her niece. Diana was the only one who could bring her to smile. Her presence made her feel less dreary during her confinement.

Diana swung her arms around her Aunt's neck jumping on the beck. Her governess, the Duchess of Alba cleared her throat, her eyes looking in disapproval. She would have a word with the Princess about her behavior after their return.

"Auntie Kitty I missed you! Lady grandmother said she has been trying to write to you but His Grace My Lord uncle does not let her. I wish I could visit you more, my lady grandmother said she missed you and she told me to tell you"

Diana always as filial as ever was unknown to her, their little spy. Catalina petted her hair.

"Careful Your Highness, Her Highness hair has been neatly trimmed and she was such in a hurry to visit Your Highness that the knots of her red ribbons around her hat were not squeezed enough"

Diana was about to reply, she did not like being scolded in front of her Auntie. "Her Grace is spoiling the moment" Her Auntie said before she could. She could see how strict the Duchess was judging by her cold eyes and the hardened lines on her forehead, and of course being married to man such as the Duke of Alba. "Her Highness will only be a few minutes with me, surely a few minutes will not hurt would it Your Grace?"

The Duchess of Alba forced a heavy nod. She heard how pregnancy affected the common wenches. However she was no common wench. She had royal and noble blood through both her parents. But by the way she treated her ladies -who were all noblemen's daughters- you would not be able to make the distinction.

She watched her charge and the young Princess of Asturias interact. The Queen had warned her that her daughter and her mother's family were close. Just how close the Duchess wasn't sure until now, she was determined to keep this child under the influence of her father and drive the evil one from her Aunt away.

Diana put her hands on top of her Lady Aunt's swollen belly. She wondered if her mother would be so big? She voiced her thoughts to Catalina that physicians suspected she would give birth to twins.

"Why twins? It could be one again. You were her first child" Catalina asked, her eyes wide and alert intent on extracting the truth from her niece through her sweet melodic voice.

"I don't know but His Highness the Prince of Eboli's wife, Ana de Mendoza y la Cerda said that she has witnesses women giving birth and that My Lady mother's belly is too large for being two months with child. I think it is large too, larger than I remember when she had William and Margaret"

"Your Highness" The Duchess said in her low, apprehensive voice.

"Yes Your Grace?"

"Your brother William is King of England, you should address him as such –His Majesty"

"His Majesty" Diana said in mock strictness. She and her aunt giggled at the Duchess' dismayed face.

She was impossible. What sort of Princess they had sent her? But she was determined to tame the child's wild behavior and set her on the right path. She considered it a privilege to be part of the Princess' household and the Queen had given her this privilege despite her initial animosity with her lord husband. She was not going to fail Her Majesty or the English Infanta.

Catalina started to make more silly faces to her niece, when they were done laughing she got serious again and asked her how her mother was faring with her new pregnancy and if she had said her prayers for the both of them.

Diana nodded eagerly with a widened smile at the mention of her new siblings. "I have gone with His Majesty to the churches and I pray every night and day for my lady mother and my future siblings. Everyone says they are two, only my lady mother says it is one."

"Well physicians are seldom right, who better to know than your lady mother who is carrying your sibling or siblings. Whatever or how many they may be you must love them, is that understood? Do you promise me to love them?"

"My lady aunt you know I will, I love all my siblings"

"What about Margaret?"

"That was different that girl only cried and cried, you remember don't you Auntie Kitty?"

"Maggie is a baby and babies are not responsible for their actions and besides your lady grandmother was always there to keep her quiet"

"Only because she fed her but Maggie would always cling to her breast more than my lady mother. She would always cry when my lady mother tried to hold her"

"That is because babies become closer to the woman who nurse them" Once babies tasted their milk they would hold on to that woman their entire childhoods. Catalina was thankful for the practice. It could only mean freedom from her baby's cries and the pain of swollen nipples.

"Will you let your baby suckle you then?"

"Your Highness you know better than to ask such things, such behavior is unbecoming of a Princess"

"Sod off you pig me and Her Highness want to be alone"

"With all due respect Madame" She said ignoring Lady Katherine's higher rank "but I am this Princess' governess and her mother entrusted her education and her welfare in my hands and that includes her soul's welfare. Come along now Your Highness you must return to your lessons"

"But I want to hear more" Diana protested her lips springing forward in pouting. "Please?" She asked with her hands joined as if in prayer getting down from her Aunt's bed. "Pleeassseeeeeeeee?"

"Your Highness you are a Princess what will Spain say if they saw their Princess' begging? Now let us leave the Princess of Asturias, the King expects to see you progress in your music"

"I do not want to"

"It is not a matter of want or not, you must listen to your mother's command child, now let's go!" She barked and Diana obeyed. The Duchess grabbed her arm and like a scolded child she lowered her gaze as she led her to their chambers where her tutor waited.

Catalina threw her head backwards. When would this boredom end?

The child within kicked her severely. A hot stabbing pain interrupted her thoughts, she felt she wet the bed but she screamed in alarm when she realized what it meant.

"Guards!"

Immediately ladies, midwives and the royal physician came to her aid. News spread fast that the Princess of Asturias had gone into labor. A messenger was sent to the Prince's quarters to tell him so.

Carlos was too busy to hear the messenger but he said it was important. He had been busy gutting his wife's cat. Unable to take his frustration out on her he took it on her cat. He did not wait to see her horrified expression. He dumped its mangled body into the fire and delighted to see the flames consuming it, imagining it was his father.

The messenger had frozen in his tracks as he watched the devious smile on the Prince's face. This was not the time to brood on His Highness' madness, gaining his attention he cleared his throat and told him his wife had gone into labor.

Immediately Carlos sprung to his feet and demanded where she was.

"She is in her chambers, her ladies and the midwives are with her, also the royal phy-"

He did not let the man finish his sentence, he hurried out of the room to his wife's chambers but the guards outside did not let him enter. "I demand you to let me in!"

"Your Highness your father said no one is to be let in!"

"I demand you to let me in!" He said again but no matter how many times he said it the guards would not move.

"Let me in! Let me in! Let me in!" He cried kicking and screaming as he'd done when he'd been a child. It had always brought him results but he was not so lucky now. These new servants were not so tolerant of his abuse and they grabbed the Prince and dragged him back to his rooms where they locked him away.

In a frenzy he trashed his entire room, ripping to shreds the bed sheets and the pillow cases and throwing many things across the room. He moved on to his wife's cat and threw it at his fireplace where he watched with delight as the flames engulfed its little body, imagining it to be his father.

His father deprived him of his wife. He prayed to God that lightning would strike him for taking away what was rightfully his. He did not want his child to live, he considered it a monster. Carlos worried about the safety of his child but his anger overcame it. He swore if anything happened to his son he would march straight to his father's chambers and plunge the dagger into his chest and move on to his wife!

Katherine screamed. "Make it stop! Make it stop!"

"My Lady you are almost done"

She did not care anymore if it was boy or girl, she just wanted it to stop!

"Please!"

"My Lady please you are almost there"

She shook her head. They had told her the same thing yesterday. It had been over a day and there was no sign of the child leaving her body. The contractions had become stronger and she pushed her hardest but the child refused to leave her body.

She felt it was the end when she gave a large push and felt a great weight leave her body. But it was not so.

"I see the head"

The child clung on to her, stubborn as its father, it refused to leave the warmth of her womb for the coldness of the world.

"Ah!"

With all the strength she had left in her body she gave a mighty push and the child was expelled from her body.

She had lost count of the days she had been bedridden but the people of Spain did not. For nearly two days they had spent praying for the death of the child. They shuddered what havoc an offspring of their mad Prince Carlos, bring the country if it was allowed to leave. Under no circumstance must God allow the child its first breath. Their hopes were squashed as they heard the church bells ring twice.

"Dear lord" They whispered bringing their fingers to their forehead and doing the sign of the cross. "It has happened!" They screamed. "God has forsaken us!"

Their horror however was short lived as the King's messengers rode out into the countryside spreading joy and hope that the Princess of Asturias had borne a perfectly, chubby and healthy, bouncing baby boy.