Thanks for reviewing!So sorry for the wait. I was at relay for life! I made this chapter longer than usual just for you guys! OMG tonight is the movie awards! Breaking Dawn part 2 might be releasing another trailer…at least that's what the rumors are spewing…LETS HOPE! I'm glad the 'preview' idea worked last chapter. Thanks to; NeverEndingImagination1210, Lilithcase39girl, BELLA X STARFIRE7745231, LordXeenTheGreat, ellaryne, PotterNinja, twilaliars97, teambellaedward, Ta1ia, GallagherBlackthorneZammie, atc For reviewing! I hope to see more 'previews' being sent out I know I've been slacking, but I got regents coming up. I'm a freshman…IN HIGH SCHOOL. LOL not collage ;) So thanks for your patience! You guys rock! The song for this chapter is called FULL MOON by THE BLACK GHOSTS (Yeah it's the first song in the first Twi movie!)
When the thorn bush turns white that's when I'll come home I am going out to see what I
can sow And I don't know where I'll go And I don't know what I'll see But I'll try not to bring it back home with me
Forks, Washington, 2008
Isabella Marie Whitlock Mason Cullen's POV
A month has passed since we had last seen the autumn. Now everything was covered in cold white fluff and the roads were crystalized with ice. I loved the fall, spring and summer, but I absolutely hated the winter.
More than half the vampire population loved winter because it was rarely sunny, everything was the same temperature, and food was hibernating in small herd, making it very easy to catch.
But the snow didn't remind me of sleigh bells. The frost bites didn't remind me of hot chocolate. The decorations didn't remind me of Christmas. Nor did the frozen over lakes remind me of ice skating. They all reminded me of death. Because I died on Christmas Eve, and so did any hopes of finding my brother.
Though Jasper and I are currently reunited, I had truly believed I was never going to see him again. And as soon as Kara placed her teeth on my neck, I said my final goodbyes.
And to top of my horrid holiday, how could I ever forget a Cullen Christmas? Exactly, I couldn't. The Cullen's loved Christmas the most, therefore Alice was a force to be reckoned with when it came to decorations, fashion, and parties.
All of which I'd rather streak naked and sit at the bottom of an ice covered pond than participate in.
Everyone but Alice and Jasper had seen me on the winter holidays, and knew how much I was truly hurting inside. They tried their best to make me feel welcomed and loved, but I felt ignored and hated. The ironic part was I felt ignored by my brother and hated by myself.
This was my metamorphosis into the old Bella. At the first snow fall, my emotions would immediately change and whatever happiness and peace I felt would be dragged by its legs into a cage with no key to unlock it until the first signs of spring. And winter was a long season.
It hurt the most seeing what my depression did to my family. Of course Alice and jasper had yet to see it, but everyone else had a feeling of dread whenever they saw me. Edward especially.
He begged me not to harm myself in this way, but he hadn't experienced even a portion of what I had. Another reasons why no one could help me, they didn't even know why I was hurting.
I think over time, they began piecing things together.
Rosalie once saw me staring at my very old withering leather bound journal. She asked me what I wrote in it, and I told her everything was about my life as a human.
Emmett tried to get me to have a snow ball fight, but when he saw how harshly I took to the idea of any sort of battle, he knew Kara was still haunting me.
Carlisle saw me staring blankly at one of his paintings in his study. It was one of his many religious portraits that had a very sickening and depressed story within its strokes. He questioned what I liked about it, and I morbidly told him it was the harsh reality of the world we lived in.
Esme tried to get me to decorate the house with her. I had blankly told her there was no point in celebrating if pain was currently your strongest emotion.
And lastly, Edward had tried to warm me up by constantly showing signs of affection and treating me as if I were an injured princes and he the knight. My face was emotionless and my heart was cold. It would melt in time, just waiting for the warmth.
I tried my best to make my family feel comfortable with me during the supposedly cherished holidays, but in reality we were practically living with a tomb in the middle of the house.
It was rare to see me smile, or even be around the house. I mostly wandered around the woods, taking in my surroundings like they were old friends. Which was currently what I was doing.
I walked barefoot through the frost covered dirt and let my eyes trail along the softly falling snow as it stuck to tree bark and rocks.
Alice had predicted that it would rain for the last time for a while tonight. Everyone got overly excited and I soon realized why. Baseball? I didn't know whether to laugh or roll my eyes at my insane family. Were vampires for Christ's sake, not professional athletes…unless were talking about Emmett who could quiet possibly be both…
Edward knew I wouldn't want to play, but that didn't stop Alice from asking me why she couldn't see me with them on the field. Jasper felt confused as well, but I just told them that I had some work to get done before Christmas came.
I warned her not to look into the future, and she thought I was talking about gifts so she obediently nodded in agreement. If she had seen what I was really up to, word would get back to Jasper. And if word got back to Jasper about my antics, he would demand Carlisle to make an anti-depression pill for the undead.
But if he found out why I was depressed….I don't even know what he would do. He would be too distraught, and my family was already suffering with one moody child.
Emmett and Rosalie gave me a sad look before they left the house, but it went unnoticed by Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Jasper who were already out the door. Edward was frozen near the door and looked at me with a pained and concerned expression.
"Go. I'll be fine." I said, and flinched slightly at the sound of my own voice. So cold and detached…
He stared at me for a while longer, and I offered a weak smile. He closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose before nodding his head and running off to catch up with the others.
Now I had a choice. Brood while watching a romantic drama, brood while writing in my journal or just straight up brood and stare out the snowy window…I think I like choice four.
"Ugh!" I groaned and fell backwards onto the couch. I looked everywhere, but there really wasn't much to do. As I was giving up all hopes, I heard a knock on the front door.
I cautiously rose but loosened my stance once I smelt the blood coming from the mailman outside. Normally they would just put in in our mailbox, so we must have gotten a package.
"Hello?" I opened the front door and revealed a tall balding man with annoyance on his face. I bet he was freezing his ass off delivering this stuff, and its not like our house is exactly 'nearby.' I suppressed a smirk.
"I have a delivery for a…Mrs. Cullen." I almost snorted, which one? He pulled out (like I had predicted) a package and a few letters from his bag. "Oh that's me." I signed the paper like he asked and nodded him a farewell.
I raced back inside to sit on the couch near the roaring fir place (Esme and Alice's idea) and looked down at the letters first. I almost smile when I saw the letters from all my friends, but couldn't even do that. I was still in a terrible mood.
The Irish coven, South American coven, Romanian coven, Egyptian and nomads all had written back from my previously sent messages. They all told me how wonderful it was to hear from me again, and that they were glad I had found my brother and husband once more.
It seemed like it was same old same old with them. Maggie recently found someone she was interested in from the European coven, and was now traveling with her 'friend' Damon. Zafrina mentioned she wanted to practice with my shield a few more times because her sisters were still mocking her that she couldn't use her illusions on me.
Stefan and Vladimir were up to God only knows what, but promised me they weren't getting in trouble that wouldn't involve the Volturi. My nomad friends had so much to say, but wrote so little. I knew they practically saw the world as it spun, one of the reasons they loved traveling so much.
Lastly, the Egyptian coven. I ripped open the envelope and took out the neatly folded piece of paper with Benjamin's elegant script covering both sides. He mostly went on and on about how much he missed me and that I needed to visit them more often. He said Tia, Amun, and Kebi send their love and congratulate me on finding my family again.
Benjamin reminded me that he knew I didn't like gifts, but he wanted me to rekindle with the old Bella. He sees things that others don't, and he knows I am depressed. I knew I would be in tears had I been human.
The last sentence surprised me. Before I bid my parting words, I have a gift enclosed in a package for you. Isabella, you are a sister to not only me but to every vampire you meet. You're so full of life and energy, don't let it die out because sometimes are hard. Take this gift as a reminder that no matter what, you'll always have someone there for you.
I placed the envelope back on the table and picked up the package gently. I ripped it open with my finger nails and a small cold thing fell into my lap. I picked it up and gasped. This was one of the most beautiful necklaces I had ever seen!
It had a long silver chain and a teardrop pendulum on the bottom in the color of sapphires. The surrounded bits were made of elegant black scrolls that looked like vines growing along the sides, and on the pack of the pendulum was an engraving. IMWMS. My initials.
I quickly placed it around my neck and brought the box and cards to Edward and mines room. I quickly wrote back to everyone and ran back outside to send them. The snow crunched under my bare feet, much thicker than it was two hours ago.
I smiled gently as I looked down at my new necklace. It hung delinquently around my neck right next to my house key. I held it in my hand and walked back to the door while admiring its beauty. "You always did admire that sentimental crap."
I dropped the necklace and spun around, morphing into my defensive crouch. But who stepped out from behind the trees made my mind freeze up and my stance to go rigid. He chuckled sadistically and eyed me over. That seemed to wake me up.
"Of course you would know that. After all, you did stalk me." I straightened and crossed my arms over my chest. His eyes narrowed but his lips remained curled up in that disturbing smirk.
"Isabella Whitlock…such a fiery passion behind such a lovely face…" he murmured and pursed his lips. I scowled at him. What the fuck did he know? He ruined my life, just because my blood smelt appealing. It's not like I was even his singer! So I threw it back at him.
"James Ferrell…such a cocky manor behind such a hideous face…" I snarled. He grinded his teeth together and chuckled a bit. "And there is the passion…" He moved closer to me and I remained still.
"Stay the fuck away from me you bastard. Your such a slimy motherfucker, you threatened my dumb friend to rape me? Screw you Ferrell!" He looked more shocked than aggravated or amused. He didn't think I had it in me.
"Bella, all I wanted to do was get to know you. Was it so bad that I simply requested your friend to gain your attention for me? I mean…I didn't think the kid had the balls to do it anyways…then again anyone would have tried to get with your sexy ass-" He couldn't finish speaking, I had already lunged.
I don't know what possessed me to attack him, but the urge to kill was viciously corrupting my mind.
"Fucking sun of a bitch! What the hell did you just say?" I hissed at him and punched his jaw. His head snapped back and he rolled to his right to get away from my next blow. I kicked, scratched, and even bite. By the time he started to fight back like me, he was already looking like a piece of meat.
"Isabella, don't take this the wrong way…your just so damn sexy, and I couldn't let go of a good opportunity. But if you insist on trying to kill me, sorry sweetheart I'm going to have to demolish you first." James chuckled and I kneed him on the stomach.
We rolled around in the snow for an hour, just beating the life out of one another. I had a few bite marks here and there, and he looked like a pulp. He made the wrong mistake of underestimating my strength when he tried to pry my hands off him.
Instead I threw my head back and flashed it forward onto his neck. I heard his gasp get cut off before I tore across his flesh. In seconds, his head rolled away and I was holding the lighter he had in his pocket.
"Goodbye James." I tossed the lighter onto his body and watched as it caught fire in an instant. Though I had now gotten rid of one of my nightmares, I couldn't help but realize I had so many more out there. Hopefully things would cool down before I got the chance to see one again.
One his body was a pile of ashes blowing in the wind; I walked inside and sat on the couch. I stared at nothing, and felt nothing. I just waited for my family's arrival, and then I would tell them the news. I had killed yet again.
Denali, Alaska, 2008
Tanya Carinthia Denali's POV
If you asked me what my strongest emotion was last week, I'd tell you it was hate. If you asked me right now, it'd be betrayal.
I was losing everyone at the same time I felt like I was losing myself. First Edward goes blind and picks that hag over me, then Kate goes all MIA and leaves town, then I get a note from Irina explaining how she just 'had' to run an errand with Laurant and doesn't known when she'll be back. Fan-fucking-tastic. I'm glad I can rely on my family.
And the only ones left behind where our parents, Eleazer and Carmen. But they were never home, and whenever I saw them, Carmen looked pissed and Eleazer stressed. I felt like they were trying to avoid me as well.
I felt so lost. So…alone.
So you can imagine my surprise when a knock erupted from the front door and I smelt another strange immortal/mortal mix. I opened the door to reveal yet another broken imprint. I thought I left these mutants behind when we left Forks. But when I looked up at him, I felt my entire world freeze. He wasn't an immortal, more like a God.
"Hello there, my name is Alexander. I believe you are Tanya Denali?" Even his voice sounded beautiful! Holy shit he knew my name! I opened my mouth and let the words flow out. "Yes, this is she…how did you know?"
He smiled at me and looked down at me with his dark grey fog-like eyes. "I do recall one of the Cullen's mentioning a stunning strawberry blonde by the name of Tanya." Wow did he really just say that? I felt like grabbing him and dragging him back to my room where I could lock the door and do all sorts of shit with his hot ass.
But then I realized what he had mentioned, and the anger and abandonment returned full force. "Cullen you say…" I snarled under my breath. He nodded and looked at his feet, almost…ashamed? He shouldn't feel an ounce of remorse for those foul creatures.
Then again, if he knew the Cullen's and his name was Alexander…I had a terrifying feeling in the pit of my stomach that this was the Alexander who had raped Isabella.
"So…are you the one who…with Isabella…" I let the question hang in the air, like a knife hovering above my head ready to strike down and spill blood. He looked back up with a sad smile. "I was threatened….and drunk…but none of that can be an excuse for my behavior."
It suddenly dawned on me that behind the lust I felt for this incredible creature, there was fear. Should I care? Isabella didn't mean fuck to me, so what if I did 'take' he sloppy seconds? Does that make me any worse than everyone already labeled me? I figured not, so why not?
"Well I can assure you, I have no distaste with you." As I said that, his head snapped up. I grew a pair and grabbed his hand, dragging him inside and slamming the door shut so the snow wouldn't ruin the wooden floor.
"Honestly, Isabella is dead to me. She is a bitchy whore who steals men like she pretends to be some innocent angel. I'm so sick of everyone pity and worrying about her! So please, don't even try to explain to me what happened. I could care less. All I care…Is that you're…here…with me…." I trailed off and ran my fingers up and down his left arm.
His eyes widen and some of his dark curls fell across his forehead. His breathing was ragged and his eyes looked hooded. "But…I r-raped her…" I shut him up by pressing my lips to his. I leaned back slightly and inhaled his sweet scent. My eyes rolled back into my head and I smiled. "She deserved it…"
I was about to dive in for another kiss when I almost fell to the ground at the loss of his support. I spun around wildly, looking for the disheveled mop of dark brown hair. I found him by the stairs, looking at me like he was seeing his ghost.
"Tanya, you have to know. I'm only here because Isabella banished me here. She said if I didn't leave the Cullen house, they would kill me." I felt rage bubble up inside me. Those bastards wouldn't dare lay a hand on him. And who the fuck gave a crown to Isabella and told her she could rule the house? She's no leader. She can't order Alexander around like he's her slave.
I walked over to him with fire in each step. "They won't touch you Alex. I promise. They will have to get through my coven first. And it's settled, you're staying with us, not as a prisoner, just as a friend…" I trailed off, unaware how he would take his new name or the fact that I practically called him my own slave.
He smiled brightly at me and pulled me up to his face. "I'd love to be your prisoner, as long as you're the one dealing the punishments…Tan." I exhaled loudly and my eyes widen. He made me feel so…I couldn't think anymore. His lips were already on mine, directing me towards my bedroom.
Nashville, Tennessee, 2008
Katarina (Kate) Stacie Denali's POV
Though I felt bad for leaving behind my family, I felt like it had to be done. They needed a reality check…or a counselor or some shit. Seriously, I can't even hear myself thinking when I'm around them! It's way too much drama, and then they turn into these devious monsters that I barely know.
I cannot blame the Cullen clan for their behavior. In fact, I love our cousins. Well, I figure they're just my cousins now. I'm so tired of Tanya's constant bitching about how crazy in 'love' she is with Edward Cullen. She along with everyone else knows that Edward is married and very much in love with his wife, Isabella.
I thought they were the perfect couple, and sadly I envied them. I wanted to find love, just like they had. But my sisters and mother couldn't care less, they just wanted Tanya happy. No one else might see it, but I do. Tanya doesn't love him, she lusts for him. And once she is bored of him, she will throw him away like trash, practically ruining his life.
My sister Irina used to be so dark and depressing, but ever since Laurent came into the picture she was more devious and secretive. I thought a mate would be a nice thing for her, but it made a turn for the worst when we found out he was a human drinker who associated himself with the wrong crowd.
She was so brainwashed, I'm afraid I lost her forever. Then there was our mother, Carmen. She was always so happy and energetic, almost an older version of Alice Cullen (who I adore.) But when she saw Isabella and Edward kissing, and Tanya scowling at them, she changed 360 degrees.
Now she was more like a horrid bitch or a stage mom. She wanted the best for her daughters, not caring who she hurt in the process. But even a stage mom would be better than her. She barely cared when I left. Tanya was more hurt then she was!
I knew she was just acting upset, but even I could see the relief in her eyes. Since I was too practical for her taste, she treated me like Cinderella and she that evil step-mother. She valued Irina and Tanya because they tried to be the best at everything. I just wanted an escape from their madness.
Then there was Eleazer. I don't think I lost all hope in him yet. My father figure had always been there for me when I needed someone, because he got it. He seemed to always know what I was going through, and he sometimes wanted to escape his wife and two daughters. He truly was a great man, but his life was being ruled by his over powering wife and how two bitchy daughters.
When I left, thought he tried to act calm, I could see his walls crumbling. His eyes shone with heat break. That's why I left him (and only him) a letter in his bedroom. It explained my reasons for leaving and that I loved him so much. The last thing I mentioned was to stay strong, and not to give up.
Our family was torn apart. We were crumbling at the seam, and there was no anchor to 'hold us down'. We weren't even classified as a family anymore. More like a clan of vampires. Now I was a lone nomad.
I sighed and entered a late night bar. I had to act the part as a human, so I just figured I'd get a drink and look around. I sat in a booth near the back of the bar and watched as people drank, played pool, and laughed with friends. I ordered a bloody marry, just to amuse myself.
I was looking through my small carry on for a pad of paper when I felt a shift in the atmosphere. My head shot up and I was met with a pair of red eyes. I froze and sat straight in my seat as I stared down the vampire sitting across from me in my booth.
Seeing my defensiveness, his eyes grew concerned and he held up his hands in the universal sign of peace. "I mean no harm. I was just passing by when I smelt another vampire. I hope you don't mind, I just haven't talked to anyone in so long…" he trailed off and gave me a sincere smile.
I smiled back gently. He seemed very friendly, even for a human drinker.
"Well…you do seem pretty decent. Let's start with names. I'm Kate Denali." I extended my hand and his smile brightened. He gripped it and I felt tiny electric sparks flawing up and down my entire arm. I looked back at him with wide eyes.
He studied our hands and looked back into my eyes with his sparkling orbs. "I'm Garrett." I found myself smiling back at him as I leaned forward onto the table. He leaned in as well, and I soon found the purpose behind why this journey meant so much to me.
Denali, Alaska, 2008
Tanya Carinthia Denali's POV
What the hell was going on? Everyone was confusing the shit out of me, and I didn't like it one bit. Firstly, I don't think I have ever spent this long away from my clan since the 60's and I tried to 'run away' just to gain attention. I know, I know…but it worked…sort of.
I knew Kate probably wouldn't be returning for a few more months, Irina possibly two, but where the fuck were my parents? Especially since we had a 'guest' residing in Irina and Laurent's old bedroom.
I growled when I realized I had been gripping the T.V remote so hard it broke. Tossing onto the couch, I jumped off the couch and stormed up the stairs. I needed to find Alexander.
I sniffed him out, and found he wasn't in Irina's room, but our old guest room. It wasn't anything special, but I could tell he felt strange in my sister's room, almost like he didn't want to be an intruder.
His shoulders where hunched over as he sat on the edge of the bed, playing with his hands. I couldn't help but feel sympathy for the guy. He had been through so much…
"You know…you don't need to sleep in the guest room…my room is always available." He looked up and roamed his eyes over my body. "Thank you, Tanya, but I really mustn't intrude…besides, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I'm sure Bella explained everything that's happened between us." I felt my anger rising by the second. It's always Bella! What does she have that I don't? Ugh!
"Well I can assure you, I'm not Isabella." I hissed her name and he raised a brow. "I take it you don't like her very much." Way to state the obvious. "Absolutely not! She stole something from me that I probably won't ever get back. I mean…aren't I pretty enough for love?" I pouted my lips and looked up at him from under my lashes. He truly was a beautiful man.
His eyes glazed over like he was dazed and he slowly got up. He cupped my face in his hands and leaned down to press our foreheads together. "Tanya, I think you're beautiful enough for anything." That was all it took for my lips to meet his. So this was what it felt like to kiss your mate….I loved it. As our kiss continued, it got more heated. He shoved me up against his door and roamed his hands over my body.
I gasped into his mouth and unbuttoned his shirt while wrapping my legs around his torso. He moved near his desk and pushed everything out of the way. I felt my back hit the wood and the pressure from his body above me. I ripped his shirt off and he tore open my blouse, exposing my red lacy bra. I gripped onto his hair as he trailed kisses up and down my neck. He placed kisses between the valley of my breasts and I moaned in delight. "Alexander…Oh GOD!"
I hissed when I felt his manly parts press into mine. "So…beautiful…" he mumbled while trailing his kisses back up to my face. No one has ever made me feel like this before. I was no virgin, that's for sure, but with Alexander…it just felt…right. "Alexander, I…I think I lov-", I was cut off when he pressed a kiss to my mouth. "I love you so much Bella." I froze and felt my eyes close as a tsunami of pain washed over me. I don't know why I didn't stop him, but I remained still on the desk. My grip loosened from his hair and my hands fell to my sides in defeat. Was it possible for vampires to cry? No….but it was possible for vampires to kill. And I very much intended on doing so.
Forks, Washington, 2008
Victoria's Eleanor Ferrell's POV
"Where the fuck is he?" I snarled when I saw Laurent enter the room. His little bitch was trailing behind him like a lost fucking puppy. "I don't know. He went to visit the Cullen's, but from what I heard they're playing baseball. No one should be home."
I narrowed my eyes at the pathetic bastard and rose from my seat. "Well are you sure that each member of the clan was there?" He looked intimidated to say the least. His mate glared at me and I whipped my head around to hiss at her. She backed down quickly. Bitch.
"N-No…I just tracked their scents but didn't get close enough that they could see me." I sadistically raised a brow at him and glanced at his mate who was nodding profoundly.
"Laurent" I said sickly sweet. "You have been my friend for quite a while now. Friends tell each other secrets…so do you remember when I told you I don't give a flying fuck if you got caught, I just wanted to know if every god damn member was there?" My voice neared hysterics.
"He tried his best, okay? At least he was willing to help you. You should be thankful." The tall blonde one- Irina, said. I could tell she was nervous, but she hid it well. But I had lots of experience with these kinds of arrogant bitches. She needs to keep her mouth shut, or I will sew her lips together with my nails.
I stalked towards her with my hands on my hips. Laurent leaned slightly towards us, ready to interject if I dared to hurt his precious little friend. "Listen hear bitch. My mate is out there, possibly fighting against eight others, and all you can tell me is you want me to be thankful? Screw you Barbie!"
She shivered with fear and Laurent's narrowed his eyes at me. "Victoria, im sure James is smart enough not to fight against such a vast coven." I already knew that. Obviously he was missing the main idea I was trying to stress.
"Yes Laurent. I know that. But like I said, what if another member had chosen to stay behind? Would James be smart enough as to not fight one lone member?" That shut him up. I saw Irina look towards the floor.
"James…" Laurent paused, choosing his words carefully. Wise of him. "…Is a good fighter. I'm sure that if he had chosen to fight someone, he would be wise enough to know who he was up against. He will return Victoria."
I growled softly and stared at his red eyes. "And if he doesn't?" He looked stumped but lifted his head to meet my gaze. "Then I help you kill whoever had killed James." I nodded my head and threw one last sneer at Irina before storming into the woods.
I had to find James.
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