Disclaimer: The characters, much of the dialogue, and sadly, even the plot are not mine; they all belong to Eoin Colfer.
Pages: 374 – 383
Chapter 34: Different Worlds
The stars twinkled overhead as Holly streaked through the night sky. A moving, pulsating red light beeped in her visor on a grid-map, indicating where Opal was at this very moment. As Holly had hoped, the radiation trail Opal left in her wake made it possible for the computer to calculate the pixie's exact location.
Too far.
Holly pushed her wings to go even faster. They were a newer model, similar to the ones she had been using for the Kraken Watch mission earlier that day, complete with greater speed capabilities than the models she had been accustomed to using before Hybras and body sensors for better control.
Kraken Watch – it seemed like an age ago now.
Below her, glowing lights from the tall buildings of the city of Dublin, train tracks that snaked along beside jagged rocks that hugged the sea line, and a scattered battalion of fishing boats tied to docks bobbing in the water all shot past in the darkness like phantoms. Technically, Holly knew, it was against the rules for her to fly right over inhabited areas like this without clearance, but there was not a moment to waste. She would do things as she always had: accomplish what had to be done now, worry about the rules and consequences later.
Holly's mind was clear with her single-minded determination. But in the quiet of that clarity of thought, she suddenly heard a soft voice speak up from the back of her head, as her mind made the connection she tried to force back down.
"Go and save Artemis. That's the last order I'll ever give you, Captain."
Holly's insides tightened convulsively. In an instant she flashed back to that event over three years ago for this world, the image of that night as she sped toward that hotel where Artemis and Butler were staying swimming to the surface of her mind. She could still see that place where her friends were both about to die in front of her, but even more she recalled acutely the feelings from that time that had been pumping through ever fiber of her being. Anxiety, desperation, hopelessness – and, of course, the impression of being completely and totally alone.
"Have you come to gloat? Does murder make you happy?"
This could not happen again. She could not let it.
"Hmm? You know, it does. It actually does make me happy."
Holly's hands strained forward, trying to drive the wings to new heights of speed, but the pack was at its limit.
Not fast enough. I'm never fast enough.
The image of blue light flooding Artemis and Butler's apartment flickered in her thoughts. Artemis and Butler had survived the attack, but that was no victory of Holly's. Holly had been unable to do anything that strayed in the slightest outside Opal's previous calculations for her.
"I just followed you because I wanted to see what total despair looks like. It's not very fetching, is it?"
Please, she thought. No matter what you have to do, Artemis, beat her like you always do and pull off a miracle. The commander and I couldn't, but you can.
"I think there's a spark of hope in you yet. So I would like to extinguish that."
Holly forced herself to breathe deeply. The dark ground was a blur below her, and a cold light rain had begun to fall as at long last the image of the beautiful, childlike face twisted with malice Holly had come to know so well rose majestically through the other memories, brushing them aside, filling all Holly's foremost thoughts.
Holly glared at the sky in front of her, angry tears stinging her eyes. How long was this going to go on? How much more would Opal take away from her before the evil pixie was satisfied?
Holly knew she should be able to believe in Artemis, believe in his genius. He had, for one, managed to rescue her from the Extinctionists in the face of overwhelming odds. But even a brilliant strategist had limits. After all, what could even the greatest of chess masters do if he was separated from his pieces?
Holly blinked back the tears. This wasn't over yet. However, a moment later she blinked again, this time because she had noticed something on the readout in her visor.
Just then however a voice issued through the intercom in her helmet, interrupting her thoughts.
"Good gods, Holly, what are you doing?"
"Foaly?" said Holly with mingled surprise and relief. "Is that you?"
"Who else would it be?" replied the centaur testily. "Now I'm going to ask you again. Holly, what in Frond's name are you trying to do?"
"Rescue mission," was Holly's terse response.
"You swiped a suit off Nº1's bodyguards, flew straight over Dublin, and are now going after Opal without backup – obviously none of which you've been authorized to do, by the way. Have you gone mental? Lose some brain cells in the transfer through the time stream? Trouble is going to murder you when you get back, Holly, and he's already not too happy about the time travel bit, though you probably guessed that."
"Opal is going to murder Artemis if someone doesn't do something," Holly answered shortly.
Foaly hesitated, apparently torn between concern for Holly and worry for their mutual human friend. However, he probably knew there was nothing he could say to make her turn back.
"Holly," he said, almost tentatively. "You know it's probably already too late. Look at the map. Opal's signal stopped moving. That means..."
Holly had seen it too. Opal had been shooting along at a steady pace for awhile, but now her movement on the map was almost inconsequential. There were only two reasons she would have stopped: One, her wings had been damaged beyond use or she herself had been incapacitated somehow. Unlikely, considering the extent of her magical powers and the fact she could fly even without a wing rig. Or two... Artemis's plane had been grounded and there was no longer any need for her to fly.
Holly stared at the pulsing red dot on her screen. Had Opal forced Artemis to land, and was now sauntering into the cockpit, only to discover Jayjay was not there? Or had she already discovered the truth, and forced the plane to crash out of spite, only pausing to pick through the debris so she could take out her wrath on the helpless pilot?
There was something else Holly found strange, though. About the coordinates where Opal's dot hovered... Was it a coincidence?
"There of all places," Foaly muttered.
Holly didn't reply. Yes, it seemed so ironic. The place so near where it all began, where Artemis gained the magical power enough to mesmerize his own parents so they would forget he had been gone for three years, where they had rescued a whole civilization of demons, the eighth family of fairies, including a little demon warlock with the power to send a human boy and a fairy LEP captain through time. The village of Duncade, right by where the demon island of Hybras had landed.
Holly was fast approaching her destination, where Opal and presumably Artemis were located. Had Opal discovered the truth yet? Was she at this very moment screaming in rage over having been thwarted in her goal, stamping her foot next to a mangled, pale corpse?
Holly seemed to tear a hole in the dark, starry sky, pushing for every extra second she could get. Adrenaline from anger and fear pumped through her, nervous tension stiffening her entire frame. Holly had a feeling that by the time she got back to Haven she was going to be practically dead, even with the energy-spike Nº1's magic boost had given her.
"Could be worse ways to go, I suppose," said Foaly after a few minutes' silence, sounding almost like he was talking to himself. "He saved his mother and the lemur in the one brave, selfless act of his life." He hesitated. "Holly. If you can't make it... well, you know he made his own decisions. And at least it would be while doing something for a noble cause. Right? Holly?"
Rarely had Holly heard her centaurian friend speak so sincerely. Holly knew she ought to agree, to take his offer to allow herself to begin to mentally prepare for the worst, as possibly the only fairy to fully appreciate Artemis's genius and vice versa was obviously doing. But she couldn't.
"He's fourteen, Foaly," said Holly, almost harshly. "A child." To talk about his having 'nobly sacrificed himself for a cause,' it was too much.
Foaly was apparently revived a bit by Holly's hostility. "A child," he repeated, snorting, though the level of downcast anxiety kept it from sounding either really argumentative or amused. "And just who exactly would call him that? Least of all our Mud Boy himself."
Foaly was right, Holly supposed, even if what she had said was technically true. Artemis did not think of himself as someone to be protected in the sense one would want to protect a child from harm. Wasn't he always the one to step forward to take command, to take responsibility for keeping those underneath him safe instead? Perhaps he was a bit similar to Commander Root in that respect.
Holly was getting close. Opal was just a little outside the village according to the reading in her helmet. Holly could just make out the outline of the distinctive landmarks along the coast in the distance, most notably the two enormous rocks that jutted vertically out of the landscape known to the locals as 'Mother Superior' and 'Little Sister' because of their vague resemblance to a pair of nuns.
Opal was there, right on top of the Little Sister according to the readout in Holly's visor, still inching along. The pixie was moving so slowly that Holly couldn't actually see the red dot moving on the map, but the coordinate numbers were changing. Perhaps Artemis really had managed to injure her somehow.
Holly closed in on the spot. A few minutes at most now.
Vaguely, Holly wondered what she would do when she did arrive. If Opal was in possession of all of her magical powers, what could Holly do when she finally got there? Not for nothing would the LEP insist on having an entire squad present to take down Opal. But Holly was a trained officer and physically more capable than the pixie ever was; surely that had to count for something. They had to defeat Opal and make certain justice was served. Except, now that Holly thought about it, they would only be sending the pixie back to the past, not to the dank, dark prison cell where the queen-of-the-world-wannabe belonged. Opal always somehow seemed to worm her way out of paying her just dues.
Holly's blood boiled suddenly, a fierce blaze roaring to life in her chest. A bitterly acidic taste twisted her mouth into a fearsome scowl. If he's dead, Opal, then I promise you –
Before Holly could complete the thought, her head jerked a millimeter in a flinch as an enormous pillar of orange light erupted from the ground just on the edge of the village, accompanied by a distant boom that up close must have been deafening.
Foaly was back in her ear immediately. "What happened?" he said in an unusually authoritarian tone.
"An explosion," reported Holly, her voice calm though her heart was pounding. "Over there. Right where..." She bit hard into her lower lip, then asked, "Is Opal still alive?"
She heard the tapping of keys.
"Yes," Foaly replied firmly. "Looks like your suit saved her. Lucky thing – that would have been one messy paradox if the Opal from eight years ago died on us."
Holly privately thought that if history changed so that Opal's role was cut short, it could only be a change for the better, but didn't bother to voice the comment aloud as she focused all her attention on making it to the spot. Fire and rock was falling back to the ocean below now, with an odd sort of sluggishness as though in she was watching a slow-motion action scene in a film.
Holly could hear the villagers of Duncade already crying out in alarm in the distance, some snatching up supplies as they started across the long grassy field that separated the village from the site of the excitement, curiosity winning out over discretion. Holly needed to hurry, if there was anything left she could do anyway.
The moment Holly was in range, with a series of blinks she activated the thermal scanner in her helmet, her heart beating like a drum against the lining of her throat. The milliseconds it took for the scan to send back the result seemed to suddenly stretch and crawl by with the speed of ants moving across a crunchball field.
Then she saw them. Two warm bodies had blossomed on screen, one buried beneath the rubble of the explosion – the one that corresponded to the red dot that informed Holly where her suit was – and the other lying on the only remaining sea stack. The Mother Superior, Holly thought, but could not be sure as the rocks were usually distinguished by comparing the sizes directly.
Holly changed the filter and magnified the image on the second figure.
And there he was. Eyes open, gazing up at the sky, chest rising and falling as he breathed slowly in and out. Holly let out a long, slow breath.
Still alive.
"Looks like our boy did it again," sighed Foaly in obvious relief. "Always knew he would pull through. Well anyway, I'm going to take off for a little while. I've got a few things to attend to, what with all this mayhem and these LEP personnel running around aboveground. Can you take it from here, Captain?"
"Of course. Hear from you in a bit, Foaly."
"Later then."
Holly terminated the link, then turned her attention back to the stack. Drifting carefully downward on the air currents, her initial euphoria of relief slowly receded, tempered by the state of her friend.
Holly was struck by how very small and alone the human looked, laying on that rock. He was clearly injured. Nothing life-threatening and certainly nothing as bad as in the gorilla cage, but Holly make out one shoulder sagging down, the arm completely limp as though it had been dislocated or the collarbone broken. He was literally covered from head to toe with endless bruises, tiny scrapes, and cuts, his usual bespoke suit torn with small ragged holes all over beneath a thin layer of dust and small bits of debris. Holly's gaze flickered around, and she noticed large pieces of broken rock strewn at random around where the boy laid. Only pure dumb luck could have kept him from being crushed.
But what troubled her more than Artemis's physical state was the expression on his face. He did not look like someone who had just had the triumph of outsmarting Opal Koboi by his own ingenuity; instead, it looked as though somehow he had been the one defeated.
Holly let down her shield and landed in front of him on the stack. Upon laying eyes on her, Artemis immediately opened his mouth to speak.
"You're flying," he commented, almost casually.
He still looked exhausted, but Holly saw something in his expression that changed the moment he saw her. A kind of defensive wall, shutting her out, determined to the last to keep others from seeing any weakness.
Holly realized for the first time that perhaps Artemis too thought to himself, What will she think if she could see how depressed I've allowed myself to feel? That very same thought that had stalked her mind ever since she had returned from Hybras.
His statement on the surface may have appeared to simply be an observation of the obvious, and someone else might have wondered if Artemis Fowl, ever the acerbic critic of needlessly asserting that which any fool could see, could have received some sort of head injury in addition to everything else.
However, Holly had known her friend long enough to immediately recognize the comment as the question it was. After all, Opal had taken Holly's gear. It was amazing, really: even injured and probably in a great deal of pain, having his curiosity satisfied still came first for Artemis Fowl the Second.
"I borrowed a suit from Nº1's bodyguards," she replied, deciding not to go into details. "Well, I say borrowed..."
"How did you find me?"
Holly did not know whether she ought to be glad to find Artemis his usual inquisitive self, or pained to see him in this condition and acting so cavalier about it. She found it strange that for so long Artemis had been such confusing an individual to her, that she had trouble understanding what he was thinking, what drove him in moments like these. Now it seemed blatantly obvious, how he used these questions as a show of strength. She could tell how, even weak and helpless like this, in using his mind and controlling his emotions, Artemis could always without fail appear invincible.
And that was precisely why, despite the urge she felt pressing at her throat, Holly could not speak any words of comfort while he was laying here injured, her magical empathy, intensified by Nº1's powerful magic boost, drawing to her like a magnet the dull, oppressive sense of Artemis's mood. Because he needed that strength, and to acknowledge that he needed consoling at this moment in time would be like trying to take that strength away from him.
How strangely sad and lonely that thought made her feel. The separation which she could have tried to breach, but was afraid to. This emotion that expanded her chest with each intake of breath and closed it up again each time she breathed out wasn't the embarrassing, heart-pounding variety of her adolescent self. The feeling was more akin to what she had felt when her mother had died, or when she had seen Julius killed right before her eyes. Those were experiences that she would never forget, that had changed her. Because they had involved people that had changed her.
"Oh, I saw a huge explosion and wondered, Now who could that be?" she said, smiling slightly.
Artemis did not smile, but his tone was light like Holly's as he answered, "Hmm. A bit of a giveaway." Despite the joking tone, the edge of fatigue to his voice as he spoke was still unmistakable.
Holly was talking before she could help herself, as though Artemis was a robot, and the flow of information would get him running properly again.
"Also, I followed my old suit's radiation trail. I'm still following it." Holly turned her gaze to where the pixie had been buried alive and switched the filter on her helmet. "That's quite a pile of rocks you dumped on Opal," she added. "It's going to take a Retrieval team some time to dig her out. She's cursing like a tunnel dwarf down there." Holly switched off the filter and turned back to Artemis. Curious, but more than anything just wanting to hear the reassuring tones of his usual arrogant speeches about his schemes. "What did you do to her?"
"The seventh kraken," he replied simply. "The one Foaly missed because it was tubular rather than conical, I would guess. I picked it up on a weather satellite."
The clipped explanation was devoid of the usual smugness. It was just a statement of fact. The absence of the gloating tone made the words sound almost dead to her ears, and she could feel the chilling cold that seemed to have settled over him so strongly in her chest.
Holly gazed down at her friend. At this moment, he really didn't seem like the formidable genius criminal mastermind she had come to know. That powerful, undeniable force of nature known as Artemis Fowl who was always in control of everything, that made his enemies flinch and cringe in fear upon facing him as an adversary, that made his allies feel powerful, unstoppable when standing beside him.
When Artemis outsmarted Commander Root and Foaly that first time, outmaneuvered Cudgeon during the goblin insurrection, conquered Spiro and Opal with his ability to think so many steps ahead, spoke in powerful ringing tones before the Extinctionists as though casting his own mesmer on the insane group – every time, he seemed so grand and terrifying, a force to be reckoned with. But here, all those impressive achievements seemed so far away. He was a mere child after all. A lost, lonely boy at last overwhelmed by all that had happened.
All his lies, all his scheming, rather than the unfathomably deep weaving of an infallible strategist, now seemed like little more than a desperate ploy by a young boy like any other, afraid of losing his mother. Yes, here was the tangible proof before her of what she had already realized, that that appearance of being so invulnerable, so unfailingly ruthless, was simply another part of the elaborate set of lies with which he surrounded himself. A ruse to help ensure his advantage and triumph.
Holly stood in the darkness under the immense expanse of stars, and found that seeing her friend and his intimidating powers of intellect brought so low was difficult to bear. But at least Holly could at last be secure in the knowledge of one thing. Seeing her friend like this would be enough to finally cure her once and for all.
When Holly had first returned from the past, and become herself again, she had had some time to think. Once she was able to get past all her confusion of adolescent hormonal impulses that had been clouding the issue from the beginning, she had come to the realization that she knew precisely what had prompted her to act the way she had.
Holly had to admit, if only to herself, that those intense feelings that had appeared at first to spring abruptly from nowhere had been latent in her for some time. For a long time she had refused to consciously acknowledge to herself the long-held deep fascination she had had for this genius Mud Boy. The mystery that surrounded the way he quickly crafted his brilliant schemes, the way it seemed he could never be beaten: it enticed her innate sense of adventure, her inner drive to be where the excitement was. Wasn't that why she had jumped at the chance to involve herself in the Hybras affair in the first place? To head out on another escapade with Artemis Fowl, to put an end to her sense of boredom and stagnation?
But even long before that, Holly recalled how she had acted back when they had been on the verge of erasing Artemis's memories of the fairy people. At the time, she had believed the two of them were never likely to cross paths again, and in that moment when she thought she had him under her spell she had been unable to keep herself from asking, unable to completely quell her interest in the human even then, "How do you come up with these plans?" Artemis had replied, "Natural ability, I suppose. Handed down by generations of Fowls."
Such mystique. Such intrigue. And so, even when her curiosity was still of the disgusted, almost hostile variety, she could not say she wasn't still drawn in.
Of course, that interest had never once been the slightest bit romantic; he was a pre-teen minor upon their first encounter for crying out loud. But it had been only too easy for her suppressed fascination with his talents and unswerving faith in his ability to triumph over his enemies with his audacious plans to turn in that direction given the right conditions. That explained why even his blackmailing her had not been enough to curb her unwelcome emotions, because Holly realized now as she thought about the building exhilaration in her chest as she had watched Artemis cow the Extinctionists with his carefully crafted words that his remorseless execution of his grand designs was precisely part of what drew her in.
Here they were now, and Holly could see clearly Artemis Fowl, the real Artemis, as he was when stripped of his crafty, ice-cold exterior. Deep down, he was a child, with a great intellect perhaps, but also in great part shaped by a warped childhood. There was no denying the fortitude he possessed, especially for his age, but in conjunction with the strength was a young boy, who had to fight to conceal how full of regret and doubt and fear he was.
Holly did not think any the worse of him for this weakness beneath the armor – quite the contrary. But now that that aura of mystery surrounding her friend was finally peeled away, so too would be the unnatural fascination. At last the two of them could be proper friends, without anything else getting in the way. Things like suspicion, romantic inclinations, resentment, a wall of pretended strength that served as a protective barrier –
But as Holly stared at the boy lying amid the rubble and he stared back at her, waiting for her reply, she realized she had been completely wrong.
Holly knelt beside him, red sparks of Nº1's magic crackling off her fingertips as she touched one to the boy's wide forehead, the indicator of his great intellect. "Typical Artemis Fowl," she said, smiling softly. "Beaten to a pulp and still he delivers a lecture."
As Nº1's magic coursed through him, stitching up his injuries and making him as good as new, Holly could feel the magic restoring Artemis not only in body, but in spirit as well. He smiled. "Nice trick," he said, mismatched eyes strangely unfocused, a sharp contrast to their their usual penetrating awareness.
"I'm here till Tuesday," Holly joked, then added, "Nº1 filled my tank."
Yes, she had been wrong. Because Holly knew what she had wanted to chase after so much had not been a great genius criminal mastermind who could not be beaten, or the intrigue of someone with a vague air of mystery. Rather, the Artemis Fowl she saw before her now for this brief moment in time was the person her adolescent self would have most wanted to meet.
Still kneeling in the rock on top of the Mother Superior, Holly's fingers brushed at the newest model omnitool hanging from her belt, missing the old one she had been allowed to use again for a short time that she had received from her mother.
No, it was not the great, mysterious 'Artemis Fowl,' whose abilities left her in awe as he stood before the Extinctionists, or made unconcerned, off-hand comments after having just narrowly avoided death that she felt the most affection for, that had led her to make that silly tentative comment when they were sitting on the hood of that stolen Mini Cooper. Rather, it was 'Arty,' a boy whose ways were as familiar to her as any of that of her closest friends, who she could not help but trust implicitly. Because all along, what she had needed was to see the weaknesses along with the strengths. To be able to see beyond what seemed such an uneven divide between them, that choking sense of insecurity heightened in her vulnerable adolescent state that put her on edge as she worried over who was providing more to their partnership, that made her feel all too often like the inferior, less important playing piece.
Not that she had felt herself worth less as an individual; her beliefs on the inherent value of life were too ingrained for that. It was merely that, because of his almost supernatural abilities that went beyond her understanding, he so often seemed on a different plane of existence from her, so much that their minds could never quite touch again as they had at that moment as they stood in the magical circle on Hybras, holding hands, waiting to be brought back home. That sense of division still lingered, not entirely purged from among the feelings she still carried deep inside her. But this picture of weakness, so similar to the endless array of weaknesses that nibbled at her whenever her defenses were low, was the first step to dismantling it.
Artemis was still staring up at her, with vision probably made hazy by the magic. As Holly watched, the smile that had been on his face slowly faded from his features, like the fading of daylight.
"I'm sorry I lied to you, Holly," he said quietly, subdued, as though the strength of his emotion would smother him. "Truly. You've done so much." His voice sounded just short of breaking, so much like when just a few days ago, a few hours technically, when he had so bitterly called himself a liar and a thief, hit by the full weight of the betrayal that was, as his mother lay there on the verge of death.
And in that moment, Holly knew. She knew without the slightest hint of doubt as she looked at him while his guard was so low. See it is his eyes, feel it with Nº1's magic. There was no manipulation, no underlying motives. Here, in this moment at least, she could see clearly that she had somehow become one of the most important figures in this boy's life. Important enough to generate such strong emotions, such regret.
Holly's own faint smile faded from her features into a more contemplative, serious one.
Their positions were reversed now, it seemed. After all this time, from that moment when she had first woken up from Butler's darts outside Rathdown Park, just after a purely impulsive act that had been the catalyst to so many thoughts and feelings of anxiety, now things had finally come full circle. For once it was she who knew what he was thinking and feeling, not the other way around.
Holly broke eye contact, her gaze flickering away from his mismatched eyes, just as he had done before. She still looked down at his pale face, but with now with eyes that seemed to stare past him.
"Maybe you made the wrong decision," she said quietly. "Maybe I would have made that decision myself."
Now things were different. Her friend was feeble and weak, and she was the one who held all the power. She was the adult, the one in sound possession of both her mind and her body, and most of all she had the knowledge of what was going on in his mind. So the decision was up to her. If Holly wanted to continue on with that path she herself had first suggested back in the past, all she had to do was say the word. It would be the beginning of a new partnership of a different, more permanent kind, just as soon as he was old enough. A criminal and a police officer. A human and a fairy.
She gazed down at her helpless human friend, and she found herself thinking about what Julius Root had said to her before he died, about how she could do more good for the People if she accepted the promotion to major, even if she personally didn't like the job as well as being a Recon captain. As an officer of the LEP, it was her responsibility to carry out what was her duty, not do what she wanted. She was a caretaker of the peace, a guardian of others' welfare. And Artemis, too, was under her care.
Holly let out the barest hint of a breath, a silent sigh too quiet to hear, then said softly, "We're from different worlds, Artemis. We will always have doubts about each other." The words felt like the impenetrable surface of a set of steel blast doors sliding down between them, and she hesitated barely a second before she brought them down with a clang in a kind, gentle voice, "Let's just carry on and leave the past in the past, where it should be."
Artemis gazed back at her for a moment, and wisps of sadness seemed to blow gently across Holly's face as though through her empathy she could feel the emotion as a real physical substance.
Then the boy closed his eyes. He gave one silent nod, accepting her forgiveness, but also her decision. To so meekly concede a battle was unlike him, but it was obvious that there was no fight in him at the moment. And perhaps, on this subject at least, there would never be.
Holly smiled gently, almost wistfully for a moment. Then, tugging a long retractable cord from her belt, she wrapped it securely around Artemis and by the time she had lifted off the ground with her young human friend in tow, he was sound asleep. It was little wonder, what with the major healing he had just undergone and the sheer amount of tense situations they had undergone for the last three days. As Holly listened to the sound of his deep and rhythmic breathing, she hoped to herself he would soon be able to get enough rest to recover from their latest misadventure. And the same went for her.
While Holly was occupied making certain to keep out of range of the villagers' probing flashlights as they made their way toward The Nuns, one of which was little more than an unimpressive pile of scattered rock, Foaly's voice came back into her helmet once again.
"The seventh kraken, I'm guessing," he noted almost lazily, in that tone of exaggerated lack of awe that he always seemed to reserve just for Artemis's accomplishments. "Of course, I had my suspicions."
Foaly was quiet for a moment. Then, his voice low as though afraid of being overheard, he said, "This would be a good opportunity to mind-wipe Artemis. Save ourselves a lot of grief in the future."
Perhaps he had expected Holly to laugh, or use the comment as an opportunity to launch into a tirade about the ordeal Artemis had just put her through. However, Holly couldn't. It had been one thing when she had been forced to take part in precisely that course of action back after the incident with Jon Spiro, when she had been almost starting to not totally despise him, but now the mere suggestion made her insides turn cold.
"Foaly!" Holly began, shocked. "We don't wipe our friends." Before she had time to think, she was speaking quickly, arguments continuing to pour from her mouth as though she had suddenly been placed in a courtroom and it was up to her to stop an irreversible verdict from being passed. "Artemis brought Jayjay back to us. Who knows how many cures lie in that lemur's brain."
She would have gone on, but Foaly cut in, "I'm kidding. I'm kidding." He seemed a little taken aback. He went on hurriedly, deftly shifting the subject, "And guess what, we won't even have to ask Jayjay to donate some brain fluid."
Foaly's attempt to distract her was successful, and Holly was glad to see how much her nickname for the lemur was catching on.
"Nº1 synthesized it while he was waiting for the shuttle," Foaly went on. "That kid is one of a kind."
"I seem to run into a lot of those," Holly noted dryly. "By the way, we need to send in a team for Opal."
"They're en route." Foaly added, this time with a hint of amusement, "I think you're in for another rake over the coals from IA when you get back here."
Yep, after three years passed without her, some things never changed.
"What's new?"
Foaly was quiet again for a long moment, apparently waiting for Holly to start into the story of all their exploits and tribulations during their adventure in the past. Finally he sighed.
"Okay, you win," he said grudgingly. "I'll ask. What happened back then – almost eight years ago? My gods, it must have been mayhem."
That had to be the understatement of a lifetime. Utter and absolute chaos did not even begin to describe the half of it. Stuffed in a trunk by an evil younger Artemis, teamed up with a Mulch Diggums who didn't know them, threatened or basically mauled in Artemis's case by a four-hundred-pound mountain gorilla, put on trial as an unwanted creature to all of humanity, nearly suffocated by an out-of-control Extinctionist – there was a lot to talk about. Yet strangely, at that moment, there was only one memory that crossed Holly's mind.
"Nothing," she replied briskly. "Nothing happened. We went, we got the lemur, we came back. A couple glitches, but obviously nothing we couldn't handle."
Foaly probably passed this off as typical Recon jock bravado, and apparently decided not to push for answers just then. The conversation once again lapsed into silence for a moment. Finally he asked, perhaps in a bit of a snide response to her tough attitude, though his tone was serious, "Do you ever think you might like to go to work and then just come home? No drama?"
Holly said nothing at first, simply staring down at the dark waters of the ocean rushing past below. She readjusted her grip on the Mud Boy hanging in her arms.
"No," she said with the hint of a smile. "I never think that."
Artemis may have been dead certain about all but a few things. But for her, that was at least the one thing she could be certain of.
Almost as though he had a built-in digital alarm inside him, Artemis's eyes opened at the precise moment the two of them hit the driveway of Fowl Manor.
"Magic is wonderful stuff," he sighed, rotating his left arm and massaging the place where his collarbone had knit itself back together.
"You should have held onto yours," Holly returned smartly. She had a feeling she would probably crash the moment she hit her futon back at her apartment, but for the moment she was riding a We-all-made-it-out-alive high, and she felt as charged up as a new ion battery.
However, she immediately regretted opening her mouth as Artemis replied by saying, "Ironically, if I had not attempted to cure Mother, Opal would have allowed her to recover. It was my journey into the past that gave Opal the basis for her plan, which she instigated by following us to her future."
This was probably a repeat of something he had said before, but Holly couldn't be sure as she comprehended it about as well as she did most of Artemis's lectures. Holly undid the cord around Artemis and let it snake back into her belt. "I liked you better asleep," she muttered. "My head hurt less."
Nº1 was waiting on the front steps with his collection of bodyguards, Jayjay resting atop his head. Holly went on ahead of Artemis to meet him, and it occurred to her that the little demon and lemur should have been belowground by now. Nº1 must have convinced the shuttle and his bodyguards to wait here for his two friends' return.
It must be nice to be an all-powerful demon warlock, she thought.
Artemis came up behind her and, after a surprisingly affectionate reunion with Jayjay, his next order of business as control freak of the world was to find out exactly what had happened with each and every loose end he himself had not personally attended to.
"Where is Dr. Schalke?"
"He collapsed once Opal departed," Nº1 answered. "Butler put him in a guest room."
"And Artemis Junior?"
Nº1 was not one for getting straight to the point, and he chuckled before saying, "Technically, you are Artemis Junior." Artemis remained patient however and Nº1 added, still smiling, "But I know what you are trying to ask me. Your younger self has been transported back to his own time."
As Nº1 went into more detail, Holly slumped slightly with relief. Having his younger self here in this time had been a incredible risk to Artemis. With two Artemises around, something happening to one would spell disaster for the other, and so that was only double the liability. Plus, Holly was eager to be as far away as physically possibly from someone with sabotage and blackmail on the brain, who had managed to catch her at the worst possible moment and had the nerve to practically gloat about it later.
Holly unconsciously tapped the handle of her Neutrino in its holster in nervous agitation. How will the changes we made to what he knows affect us here in the present? she wondered. Has it already started?
"I know we promised not to wipe him," Holly began uncertainly, frowning, "but I'm not particularly thrilled that there's a little Fowl running around with fairy knowledge in his devious skull."
Artemis glanced at her, his arms still full with Jayjay. "Devious skull? Charming."
Holly shrugged, unrepentant. "Hey, if the flap fits..."
Nº1 blinked, and he looked back and forth between them, suddenly nervous. He got slowly to his feet, as though about to formally deliver some bad news.
"About this no mind-wiping promise," he began. "The thing is, nobody told me."
Holly felt a leap of hope in her chest, but she kept her face under control. She wanted to make sure first, and it was probably better to be sensitive anyway as Artemis wasn't liable to be too happy about this development. "So you wiped him?" she asked in a carefully detached, diplomatic tone.
"And Schalke," the little demon admitted guiltily. "I also left a residual spell in young Artemis's eyeballs so Butler will get it too. Nothing fancy, just a blanket memory loss. Their brains will fill in the gaps, invent believable memories."
This wasn't much different than the methods generally employed by the LEP in using mind-wiping equipment, but Holly couldn't stop herself wincing and wrinkling her nose anyway. "You left a spell in his eyeballs? That is revolting."
Artemis, shifting his hold on the contentedly purring Jayjay, commented mildly, "Revolting but ingenious."
Holly blinked. She turned her head to peer at her friend in confusion. Holly could not remember precisely when it was, but she was certain that she had once heard Artemis say that his memories and knowledge were more important to him than anything, and he preferred to keep them all no matter how unpleasant they were. Or perhaps it was something she had gleaned from his head when their minds had been connected during the journey back from Hybras. But in any case, it seemed strange he could be so glib about seeing a version of himself treated so disrespectfully, having a promise made to him point-blank broken and as a result having his mind tampered with against his will.
However, it was almost like Artemis did not consider his younger self a part of him, and so offenses against the boy were not against Artemis himself. Holly got the distinct sense that Artemis was as glad to be rid of the young Fowl as Holly was, maybe more so. Or maybe Holly was reading too much into it.
Aloud Holly observed, "You don't seem too indignant. I was expecting a speech. Rolling eyes, flapping arms, the whole Fowl thing."
"I knew it would happen," Artemis replied dismissively. "I didn't remember anything, so I must have been wiped, therefore we must have won."
Holly gaped at him, and realized that she actually followed his logic, stupidly circuitous and warped as it was. "You always knew," she said, shaking her head. Seeing Artemis here like this, comfortable in his usual role, it was hard to think of that depressed boy on the Mother Superior.
Already back in fine form, I see.
Artemis smiled slightly, and he looked a little tired for the first time since he'd awoken from Holly's magical makeover. "I didn't know what the cost would be."
Artemis made sure to arrange with Nº1 to send back a note once the two of them returned to Tara, the note that would initiate their partnership with the Mulch Diggums in the past. However, once that was done, it seemed that at last Artemis had looked into everything that needed taken care of. With nothing to occupy him, he seemed to grow just a little melancholy again. Artemis's eyes rose to the room where his mother still rested, and Jayjay, prying himself free of Artemis's arms and scaling the boy like a tree to stand on his shoulder, imitated his human friend.
"I'm afraid to go up, for some reason," he said, almost nervously, and it was hard to tell whether he was speaking to Jayjay or himself. He fidgeted with his now free hands, but jammed them into the pockets of his ruined suit jacket when he realized what he was doing. "What she must have been through," he said quietly, "all because of my meddling. What she must have..."
"Don't forget us," said Nº1 perking up, eager to get his share of the apology. "We were submerged in animal fat. You have no idea how gross that is." He added fervently, "Eyeball spells are the epitome of good taste compared to animal fat."
Holly smiled. Nº1 certainly knew how to break the tension; perhaps he had met Mulch after all.
Holly couldn't resist a jibe of her own. "I was turned into a adolescent," she said with a wink. "Now, that was gross."
Artemis's eyes were amused, but his returning smile had a tight, lemon-sucking quality about it.
"Strangely, all this guilt-tripping is not making me feel any better. The DNA cannons aren't helping either."
A dozen of Nº1's bodyguards, now apparently also Jayjay's guards, had their DNA-coded rifles trained on Artemis's chest, in case the human did something they didn't like. It was a little excessive in Holly's way of thinking, but then again the guards' charge had just nearly died in a barrel of fat while they had been forced to wait outside.
Holly waved at them to lower their weapons, but was distracted by a message that flashed in her visor.
"There's a chopper coming in," she said abruptly, shooting a look at Artemis. "Your father. We've got to fly."
Nº1 happily jumped in to clarify for Artemis's benefit. "And that's not just a figure of speech. We actually have to fly. I know humans use that expression even when they don't intend to actually fly, so just to avoid confusion..."
Normally Artemis would have dropped a smart comment by this point, but instead all he said was, his face strangely gentle, "I get it, Nº1."
Nº1 grinned as his group of guards congregated around him and lifted the little demon into the air, carrying him off to where the shuttle was parked in the courtyard around back.
Holly was the last to go.
She offered Jayjay her arm and the lemur cooperatively hopped off Artemis's shoulder. The little creature scurried up her arm and came to rest on her shoulder, gripping her helmet.
"He will be safer with us."
"I know."
Artemis had not moved. But then at last his gaze shifted to meet hers, his mismatched eyes piercing without even trying, as always. However, this time she thought she caught just a hint of something else mixed in. Warmth, maybe. Regret.
And for just one childish moment, she wanted desperately to take it back.
But then Holly had gotten a hold of herself once more and instead she used her wings to tap off the ground, lifting up to hover before him. "In another time," she said with gentle finality, kissing him lightly on the cheek.
Artemis's face was unreadable as he turned and started back toward the manor entrance.
As Holly watched him go, a knot of pain twisted in her stomach and her smile melted away.
Take it back.
Somehow, she did not want to let him go like this. She did not want to let go.
Her mouth was dry as she tried to soothe her tight stomach. Not until Artemis reached the front door, hand extended toward the latch, was she finally able to speak.
But she would not take it back. It was not for the best. She saw only misery and oppressive obstacles in that kind of future, and it was her responsibility to make sure that didn't come to pass. What she needed here most of all was to be strong. Strong, like Artemis – the strength to be cruel in order to be kind.
Such twisted logic, she mused. Did she really believe in such a thing? Had she decided that Artemis had been right to do what he did in lying to her? No, she knew, she still didn't know for sure what to think about that. But there was something about the general principle of such self-sacrifice in certain situations that resonated with the sort of person she wanted to be, that Julius or her mother would have wanted her to be. Artemis had a long way to go learning about kindness and selflessness, but on this trip she had come to believe that perhaps he had the right instincts after all. He had a right to know that much at least.
"You know something, Fowl?" she called casually, using that old tone and manner she had always used before whenever she used to talk to Artemis Fowl the Second, first interspecies thief, with the barely concealed hostility, begrudging every compliment paid. Yet there was now underneath it a strong pulse of sincere goodwill and even affection that had not been there all that time ago when she had once told him he had a spark of decency. "You did a good thing here," she continued. "For its own sake. Not one penny of profit."
She remembered again young Artemis, throwing away his diamonds to save her life, then later saying, "I thought if I saved the creature's life you might end up back here with my lemur." The lie that was so obvious. Because she knew the real reason, that he hadn't been able to stop himself, thanks to that spark of decency that she knew burned inside him. But even confronted with that truth, he had still refused to openly acknowledge it. She had a different hope for the Artemis of the present, however. She hoped he at least would willingly accept that part of himself, to not only learn to forgive himself for what he once was, but forgive himself for the good person he was becoming, bit by bit. However, it would take work.
"I know," said Artemis without turning around, and with just a hint of a smile in his voice. "I'm appalled."
Yes, a typical Artemis Fowl response. The resemblance to his younger self was still there; he still had a long ways to go yet. But Artemis was young still – he had plenty of time, at least for a human.
Holly might have laughed, but somehow, instead, the familiarity of the joking quality of their usual interaction made her throat suddenly tighten, burning.
Determined not to let Artemis catch a glimpse of her expression or body language, she put down her visor and took control of Foaly's newest model wings. Turning lithely in midair, she shot off silently through the night sky.
Holly tore upwards through the warm summer air, until she was hovering above the Fowl estate. Though it may have been faster and easier to go around, she just needed a moment; she wanted to be up high.
This place, with the old style of architecture of the enormous mansion, its expensive furnishings and old oil paintings, the expansive gardens, pastures, and forest areas, its high stone walls and gravel driveway that lead to the large, formidable double doors at the front of the main building protected by all kinds of hidden state-of-the-art security – It was all so familiar, the same to Holly as it had always been. However, her feelings toward it had now changed. But that was a natural change, a feeling of the same yet not the same that did not unnerve her.
It occurred to Holly that, when she had come back from Hybras, the entire world had shifted while she had been left the same. But after this mission everything was reversed: The world remained as it was, and she was the one who was altered.
Holly thought she could make out the sound of rotary blades chopping through the sky in the far distance. A helicopter.
With one last look over the grounds, Holly took off again over the manor, heading for the courtyard where the shielded fairy shuttle waited to take her home – or at least back to Haven.
Holly felt Jayjay's tiny hands gripping her shoulder through her suit as the cool night air whipped past her, and she breathed in that clear, aboveground air through her helmet filters. She pushed Foaly's mechanical wings a bit faster, as though she could lose the thoughts swirling around her head far behind her with the trailing wind if she just went fast enough.
She landed by the entrance to the ship, Jayjay clinging to her back where her mechanical wings retracted back into their grooves in her suit.
Holly was aware her shoulders were shaking sightly. Even now, she still wanted to go back. There was so much she still wanted to say, and it felt the words would burn a hold through her throat in their desperation to be free. If she could not go back now, then she wanted it to be tomorrow, or the day after that, or in a few years. Someday, sometime.
But that was impossible. This decision was absolutely final, because it was for the sake of the future.
Elves were always known for being typically among the most emotional when it came to the eight fairy families, for thinking all too often with their hearts. But they had more than enough wits to be pragmatic and logical when necessity called for it.
Right now was a moment for cool thought, for acting in a way that was the most logical. Because she knew what waited for them both at the end of that road should she have thoughtlessly tried to lead Artemis down it. Misery, pain, and obstacles so numerous and oppressive they would overshadow and choke out any small shred of happiness.
Holly knew what would happen, stubbornly trying to bridge the gap between worlds. First they would both become objects of derision and ridicule on the side of her people, all disgusted with her betrayal of fairy culture and his seduction of one of their own. On the human side, it would create the necessity for more secrets and lies in Artemis's life than he had already, even where his own family was concerned. Other humans would know Artemis, but to them she could never exist. Both of these things, which they would be able to endure magnificently in the short-term thanks to their naturally defiant personalities, would nevertheless grate on them in the longterm. Then there were the inevitable long months of separation as they both continued to pursue their own dreams from the places they had grown up in. If they still wanted to achieve their goals, they would have no choice but to continue on with things much the way they had always been. Then there was their severe personality clash, with Artemis's manipulativeness and her hot temper. And of course, no matter how much her magic might lengthen his lifespan, eventually Artemis would grow old and die while she was still in the prime of life.
On and on the list went, with so many other unforeseeable hardships and sacrifices they would both have to be make to sustain such an outlandish scheme over any length of time. By the end of it, they would probably hate each other.
These were all the things she knew in her mind, the strength of the logic too strong to get around. So, even if Holly had wanted to strive, to reach out and seize the illusory image of what could be that at the moment seemed in her chest so much more appealing to her...
"...Nothing else matters to me, not even my own future."
Maybe such a sentiment really could apply here.
Of course, the raging conflict inside her was still far from over. Her determination was still not strong enough to completely stamp out the fanciful notions that played at the back of her mind, of conquering every obstacle that came their way and overcoming every difficulty. The option to abandon her convictions, to wipe away the line she had drawn was still available even now, and it gnawed at her resolve. And the fact that she was well aware that she was inflicting pain through what she had chosen reached out slimy tentacles to her as a convenient excuse to change her mind, warring with the other knowledge of the pain they would endure in the far off future if she didn't maintain her ground. It was an irreconcilable conflict she knew, this causing injury in order to protect. But that was the trap of a paradox.
Holly felt a sort of thumping against the top of her helmet, small jerky swats against the top of her head, almost as though she was being comforted.
Holly felt a small, sad smile spread slowly across her lips as she heard through her helmet layer Jayjay making his odd purring noise somewhere near her ear.
Thank you, Commander, she thought. Even if it isn't really you.
The hatch came open and a long steel ramp slid down until it hit the cobblestone ground with a clunk. A small figure was waiting for them at the entrance, beaming. With a screech of delight, Jayjay leaped down from Holly's shoulders and loped up the walkway to Nº1.
For a moment, Holly stood alone at the end of the ramp, separated from those in the ship.
Holly's mind flickered back to that clear, sharp memory of that day she had returned from Hybras and, just like now, she had stood right at the bottom of the gangplank of the rescue ship. Artemis had been standing beside her then, the two of them both covered from head to toe in ash and soot, thrilled to have made it through yet another treacherous misadventure alive.
"Holly?"
Holly started, then began to head up the long walkway, putting on her best smile for Nº1's sake.
This feeling wouldn't last forever, she knew, this vague disconsolation that sucked the color from things. It would fade soon enough. After all, technically this was only an aftereffect of having been an adolescent for a little while. The longer she stayed in her proper adult body, the more distance she would gain, the more resolved she would be on her decision, and the more protection her emotional state would have, until she could be certain she was safe from making a thoughtless, rash choice that would destroy them both. If she refused to water and feed them, these temporary emotions would wither and dry up before long until these feelings toward her young human friend were as they should be again.
And there was no need to worry about Artemis; he would probably forget even sooner than she did. After all, besides where his parents were concerned, his impressive memory and intellect did not generally extend to his emotions.
Nº1's grin slowly faded as Holly reached the top of the gangplank.
"What's the matter?" he asked anxiously.
Holly wondered if Nº1 was better at reading expressions than she'd given him credit for or if she simply wasn't doing a good job of concealing her thoughts after all, but then remembered his stronger-than-average magical empathy.
"Didn't we win, Holly?" he asked, looking at her with big, round yellow eyes. "Mission accomplished?"
Holly said, smiling, "That's right, Nº1."
But the little demon was still looking at her uncertainly, so she stretched her smile a bit wider and put an arm around him from the side in a quick hug, Jayjay sitting perched on Nº1's shoulder between them.
"A happy ending," she said, as the ramp slid back up and the door shut with a clang behind her. "Through and through."
And it would be – for her as well. After all, just how long could the effects of a mission gone a bit awry last?
A/N:
And that's it. The end! It's strange to think that I first began writing this almost a year and a half ago, the thirty-first of January, 2011... Time goes by fast. (Yeah, whenever I write something in my notebooks, I have a habit of obsessively dating it, lol.) No, I didn't change the ending to make Artemis and Holly get together. XD To tell the truth, the way TTP finished up leaving things unresolved was one of the things that made me like it so much, lol, and made we want to write this story in the first place. I guess I'm a little strange for an A/H-shipper. (;
So anyway, the prologue's up for the next fanfiction already, and I'm working on finishing up chapter 1. I'll be hoping to see you there! (: (People are still interested in fanfictions besides post-TLG ones, right?) Oh, and something I didn't mention last time, unlike with this story, I did put the tag 'A/H' in the summary. (;
Some final words: Thank you so much for reading this, and for all your comments. I've really appreciated them all. If you've been reading this or even just skimmed/skipped around to read certain favorite parts of TTP, and haven't commented before now, I hope you'll consider doing so now, I'd love to hear what you thought. (: (Even if you come across this ten years from now, I still want to hear from you! :D ) Thank you very much, and hope you all have a wonderful year.
-Rocket
Posted 7/31/12