Disclaimer: Really? If I did I would be Goddess Supreme wouldn't I?
Thanks to every reviewers, and everyone who has stand by with me for this fic and my writing. I am taking huge inspiration from so many of you, believe me even if I might not reply to your reviews sometime I take into account your ideas and take huge inspiration from great biographers and fictional writers with a critical eye for history and its characters such as Small, Lofts, so on.
"Chapter #39: It comes with a price
"This is a gift, it comes with a price,
who is the lamb and who is the lion?
Mine is King and it holds me to tight
and turns me gold in the sunlight"
~"It comes with a Price"by Florence and the Machine
1559 August
England, London
Court moved to Hampton which had once been the palace of Wolsey. George had often asked his mother what grave sin Wolsey had done to deserve his fate?
"He refused the King" His mother answered shortly.
His brow furrowed and his inquisitive stare made her elaborate more on her sentence "He refused to acknowledge your grandmother as his Queen, that and he openly criticized pope Clement for not overruling his predecessor's predecessor' decision of annulling the marriage of your grandfather with your sister's grandmother, the Princess of Aragon, Katherine"
It was all too difficult to explain. A normal child would have been extremely confused but George was sharp and caught on quickly. Bess had taught him well.
George nodded and whispered to his mother if his father would ever do that to her.
"Nay" His mother shook her head. "Your father will never be capable of doing that" She declared kissing his forehead. "Now go to sleep and don't dream, it is alright if you don't dream. I prefer you spend your time thinking about your studying and not fantasizing about your dreams or immersing yourself in useless things"
"But you let Tony immerse his head in jousting and tales of chivalric virtues. You praise him for his poetry and the use of his sword when he spars with uncle Edward" George interjected in a matter-of-fact voice.
"Well that is different"
"How come?" George asked tilting his head.
How could he and his brother be so different? They were about the same age, if only he was five years his senior, but they were about the same height and they were at the same level in all their studies. George read more than him, he understood perfectly mathematics, astronomy and could read in more languages than Tony. Why weren't they strict with Tony?
He voiced his thoughts to his mother.
Elizabeth sighed. How could she explain this to her child? George was very smart, he caught on very quickly but he was still a child and prone to innocence and naivety, she could risk him being hurt by the truth.
But she told him the truth either way, because she did not want any secrets in their family. She had been the victim of secrets during her parents' marriage. She had seen how her parents' strong personalities and their tempers destroyed their marriage and nearly her sanity.
"George" she said kneeling to his eye level "your father loves Tony because he reminds him of him. You see your father and my family were not on very good terms. He worked hard to destroy mine but in the end it was your sister's grandmother's high friends and her family which did. Don't hate your father, he had no hand in it although some will say he did. Your father became a different man when he married me and we love ourselves very much but he formed a deeper friendship with Annie's grandmother than yours so it is natural that he still hesitates. It is not that he doesn't love you it's just that he is afraid to show you his love because of …"
"My resemblance to our family?" He finished her sentence.
She nodded wiping a tear from his eye.
If only Eustace could see the hurt he was causing their son by favoring the eldest over him.
Tony was stepping over George and his mocking and taunting of his younger brother was affecting him. She scolded Tony many times to stop his torment of George.
"You live by the sword you die by the sword. That is how you will end Tony if you continue to mock your brother, one day a woman will come and come you too" She didn't know what prompted her to say this, but she just felt it that one day Tony would get his. And if that person was someone it would be his wife, whoever she may be, because only a woman as sharp tongued as he could dispose of him.
George sniffed. "I don't want to be a Boleyn, I want papa to love me"
"Your papa loves you my son, he loves you very much but he is scared, you have to show him that you are as good as Tony, work hard and he will love you. He will love you my son because you will show him, you will show him than more than Tony, more than anyone you are his son and his worthy heir. But most importantly never let anyone put you down, you are my son, his son and her grandson"
He smiled, touched by his mother's words, the flow of tears had ceased. His mother was right. He was from the bloodline of Lancasters, through his veins coursed the blood of Anne Boleyn and all her Howard descendants, he could trace their ancestry all the way to Edward I. He was no mere nobody, he was George Chapuys, his paternal grandmother was a member of the old nobility. He inherited his mother's eyes and HER eyes. He was a Boleyn through and through and he was not ashamed of it.
"I will make you proud mama, both of you" He said with new confidence and swung his arms around his mother.
George woke from his day dreaming. It had been months since Mary left him and two days since they moved to Hampton.
He was very exhausted from the court progress. His father was in the great hall overseeing the festivities, not being much of a partygoer lately, George had remained locked in his bedchamber awaiting for any messenger to arrive from Richmond.
Unfortunately no one came. Mary was still angry at him and he began to wonder for the first time –just how long this anger of hers would last?
Women –Tony said –can't live with them, can't live without them.
He tried to picture himself in Tony's shoes. He knew that Tony would not give two hoots to his wife's whereabouts, as long as he was happy messing with the tavern wenches. Poor Tony, George pitied him. He could not imagine leading a life filled with vanity and pleasure, it all seemed so pointless. He'd only love two women in his life, at one point he believed one would be the one, now he was not so sure; and he'd never been shallow with them. There was pleasure, there was entertainment, but it wasn't only about that.
His feelings for the two of them were genuine, he was seriously in love with Katherine and his love for her went beyond his physical need yet she made him profess his love for her with the physical rather than the spiritual. Mary … he did not know what to say, he hadn't yet formed an opinion about his wife.
She was higher above him. She was beautiful, strong, resourceful, and very smart. He felt so little when compared to the Scottish Queen. He loved dancing, debating with her, and he was the only person he defended and stood up for against his mother. He didn't care being laughed at or whispered behind his back. Still, he was not yet happy. He turned to the windows. The sun peered right through, he had to cover his eyes to avoid total blindness.
Mary, he never thought he'd say but, I missed you. "I missed you" He repeated –louder- now. He missed her, he really missed her and with newfound determination he called his servants, had them dress him in his finest robes and he boarded a carriage to Richmond.
1559 August
Spain, Aranjuez
The council snickered as their King paled. The Cortes had never seen such a sight. They wondered if one fine healthy babe could begotten from a mad king and an arrogant, spoiled rotten foreign woman, the same could be for their fine King and his beautiful foreign wife?
She was crippled though, but wasn't the Prince mad and hadn't she had three fine healthy babes before?
Yes "But" some whispered "she had a miscarriage"
"So who cares?" Others responded "As long as she is young and has a son who his healthier and finer than the mad Prince's son, all will be well"
Annie however had no desire to step over her nephew's rightful inheritance.
She agreed with Philip, Carlos could never be allowed to inherit the throne, but could that apply to his son also who was blameless? Whose only sin was his parentage?
Philip shook his head as he addressed the Cortes. The Duke of Alba and Fernando Valdes, the main Archbishop of Spain in Sevilla and High Inquisitor, had argued about the obscure nature of the Prince's child. They went as far as to say that God had intended that the Prince begot a strong child only to test their God-chosen King and his subjects for the trials ahead this accursed child would give them.
Philip refused to hear anymore. He remembered his wife's words "The child is blameless" And he told the same to these so called church men and men of faith. They all agreed there was no stronger and faithful man than their King.
However the Duke of Alba, that warring courtier who felt the need to protect his King of everything, including of himself said "We should put a condition on His Highness' son, if the little Don refuses to acknowledge Your Majesty's power over his father and shows animosity towards his rule and your future offspring with Her Majesty than you shall have no choice but to remove him from the succession"
Good riddance, many muttered so low that their King did not heard. No one wanted that little critter to take over Spain's throne, but they agreed that unless death took him there was little else they could but sit and wait and be the silent observers to the little Don's development.
May he grow a faithful and obedient son to God and Philip –Ruy thought who had more than one occasion put his shoulder on Philip's mad son to restrain him from lunging unto his father.
The child, his nurses reported was as healthy as ever and would only cry when his mother held him. It seemed that the Lady Katherine was every bit of motherly as her mother to her firstborn daughter.
He grimaced as he thought of what awaited the poor child -being raised by that she wolf and the mad Prince.
Philip cleared his throat "Gentlemen I will not usurp my son's place or my grandson. My grandson, my daughter in law has decided to name him after me, and I will not be responsible for taking what is my namesake's rightful inheritance. The Queen voices no opposition and I am sure none will here, but should the little Don Felipe refuse our laws than that shall be a different matter and require hard measures to be taken against him and his father-if he is involved" and the meeting came to an end.
All of the council members left except for his loyal friend and Prince, Ruy.
"What do you think?"
Ruy smiled in approval, though Philip did not need it. He was a King and knew well what he was doing but it didn't hurt to have approval from your friends once in a while. Even a god like Philip could not turn down a happy moment with a simple mortal as he.
"I think the Duke of Alba is correct" He said with an air of disbelief, but he admitted nonetheless on the man's genius although wrong for his motives "If, let us pray not, your grandson gives you trouble, you must take all measures necessary. Leave no question of your rule"
Philip wasn't comfortable with this talk. "I leave no question of who rules this country, Carlos knows that better than anybody."
Ruy nodded knowing by his friend's tone the conversation had ended. "Have you allowed your son to visit your grandson?" He asked changing topics.
Philip shook his head giving his answer. "Never I will never let that freak visit the poor boy, I barely let his little wife visit him"
Ruy was appalled but knew the reasons for his friend's motives, however he said "He is their son"
"He is my heir if I decide he is fit, I will not have my heir corrupted by his parents. Besides" he quickly added seeing his friend's discomfort as they walked to his privy chambers "I have let his little mother with him"
"That is very kind of you" Ruy said somewhat sarcastic.
Philip was silent. He was not sure if he should visit the little Don. Annie insisted he did. "But what if he is like Carlos?" He asked after Ruy left.
Annie crossed her arms against her chest falling lightly on top of her large swollen belly. Any day now –she thought- and I will have them in my arms. She talked to her children every day. She hadn't been convinced at first but, the simultaneous kicks at each side of her abdomen -as the months progressed and she got larger- confirmed the physician's suspicions that she was having twins. She wanted to hold them be born already. She never had the chance to hold Margaret or William. They had been taken from right after they'd been born and she had slumped into a profound sleep. She wanted to feel the light weight and the softness of a baby's body as they put them in her arms.
Philip said he would be happy no matter what she had, but she knew her husband. He was a King who needed a son and until he was convinced of his grandson, she was under pressure to give her husband one.
She made circles on the roundness of her belly as her hand fell on it. "Your son is going to see him today, maybe it will be better if you get there first" She said gently but with slyness.
"I don't know Annie"
"Why don't you just see him? I am sure he will be happy to see you" She said "I hear he has your smile, your thin rosy lips and your pale complexion, in fact I heard from the Countess of Feria and several of my sister's ladies that she grew very angry and refused to hold him when she saw that he looked nothing like you or his father"
Philip smirked. "Well if you put it that way" He said and went to kiss her.
Annie parted from his lips and got serious "Go to see him Philip, maybe you will like what you will see"
Philip shook his head. He will never approve of a son of Carlos and Katherine yet he nodded and went only to see his grandson because his wife had asked him, and he could not deny her for she was pleasant to be around with, he loved her, and she was also good-hearted.
Katherine or Catalina as she insisted she be called now, was having trouble calming down the baby-critter in her arms.
The plump woman nursing him had refused to let go of his charge until he finished suckling her milk.
Katherine found herself wishing she had given birth to a girl instead. This baby was unbearable, he had lungs with the power to wake up the dead. She could not bear it! "Shh it's okay this is mama" She had done everything, sang to him, make silly faces and rock him but he would not be quiet!
"Why can't you be quiet?" She hissed, it only caused the baby to squeal higher. The few ladies that were with her shook their heads in disapproval for their mistress' outrageous behavior with her firstborn. Likely he would be her only one –they thought for she didn't seem to enjoy the Prince's company anymore than he did after he had endured her terrible mood swings. Indeed, they did not know who to fear more, if Carlos or his wife.
"Shhh …"she tried she could feel the tears escaping her eyes. Oh this was so hard! Why did it have to be so hard? Someone save me! –she thought desperately praying to every saint, God, she knew!
"Gott en tittel!" She declared to the squealing baby. "Please, please be quiet!I beg of you, please listen to me, smile, be happy. I amnot a terrible person, I am your mama, say mama, say mama" She further screamed in German.
She switched to English "Please I am your mama, I am your mama see you have my eyes"
But the baby continued crying, he did not recognize this stranger in front of him. What sort of strange eyes were these? They were nothing like his light blue ones. Mama! The baby screamed trying to wiggles himself free of her, but she continued to hold him and he turned purple. Who was she? Where was his papa and mama? Who was this woman?
"You should not hold him like that" Katherine spun around to see her father in law.
"You should sing a son or rock him gently" He'd had experience with Carlos and his other sons by Isabel for whom he'd been present at their birth. Thinking of Isabel made him sad. What had become of her and their two little boys, Garcia and Pedro? He wished that he did not have to leave him, but it was his duty to his people, country first, family later.
Philip grew alarmed as the child became silent and slowly turned to eye the new stranger. His eyes met Philip's. He was no stranger, he had his eyes! In his young and naïve mind he surmised the stranger was his sire.
Papa! He spread his arms to his grandfather but Katherine started speaking and he cried more violently.
Philip blinked as the child had spread its arm out to him, his eyes pleading for help to his unknown grandfather he mistook as his father. Philip was taken aback by the likeness of which he shared with his grandson. He was NOTHING like Carlos or Katherine. He only possessed the shape of her eyes and his son's semi-large ears and low forehead.
Little Don Felipe shifted his gaze from his mother to Philip constantly closing his eyes when he turned to his mother who started to shake him.
"Stop it!"
Philip growing tired and with a mild headache of hearing the child's screams and alarmed by the way his mother handled him, decided to take matters into his own hands –literally –taking the baby from her.
"Let me"
Katherine practically shove him into his arms and sat in the rocking chair that had been meant for her and the baby, commissioned by the Queen after Annie had grown tired of hearing her sister's complaints. She started to blow her fan, the ladies around her closed their eyes and looked at her in dismay. Who knew the Princess of Asturias could be so cold to her young? They'd been appalled and filled with worry when they saw their mistress exert pressure on the little babe, and afraid she would kill it.
The baby, the minute he was placed in Philip's arms grew immediately silent and started smiling resting his baby fingers on her face, his cheeks blushing a deep scarlet red as he smiled down on him.
"See? There is nothing you should cry for is it?"
When the baby was about to turn to Katherine who gave a loud groan he began to sing an old Portuguese song he'd learned from Leonor in his childhood. The baby listened intently to his grandfather's boy. Papa! His little mind reeled as the King reopened his eyes and the baby could see himself in those eyes. They even shared the same eye color and skin color, some had almost claimed that he'd been born an albino.
"You are safe now" It felt strange for Philip to say it and for his grandson to hear it who, although he could not understand the meaning of his grandfather's words, he could decipher their meaning through his icy eyes that were a mirror to his own. Felipe had not felt this safe since he'd been in his mother's womb.
Philip held on to the babe and gently lifted his thumb to his cheek. Felipe grabbed his skinny thumb with his chubby one (a sign of his perfect health) and squeezed it lightly not wanting to let him go. The child reached its arms as if he intended to reach for his grandfather's yellow beard and touch his eyes to see for himself if this was not a dream and the man was real.
Their peaceful moment didn't last however. The child began his wails again but Philip rocked him and they immediately ceased nonetheless, he whimpered as he felt the mad man approach them.
"What are you doing with my son?" Philip turned around to meet his son's angry gaze. "My Lord Prince" he said in a passive and amicable way. "We were expecting you? How good of you to show yourself here"
His use of tone and his amicable manner made him even more despicable in Carlos' eyes.
"What are you doing with my son?" He bellowed repeating his earlier sentence. "He is my son!" He said softening his tone when he realized they were the cause of the child's screams. This was his son, his son! His father had no right holding him!
He made a dramatic turn and waved his hand in dismissal at all the bystanders in the room, they did not need to be told twice, afraid of their young lord's wrath more than their King's, they quickly left the room.
"He is my son! What are you doing with my Prince, my Felipito? Trying to steal him away like all the years of happiness you stole from me eh? Like my mother when you squirted me into her belly?"
Philip gave a soft chuckle "No My Lord son you did that yourself or do you not forget you said you were the devil's begotten"
Vile rose in Carlos' throat he was ready to spit fire and roast his father once and for all. If he had not been so foolish as to leave the dagger, he would have his mangled body by now to hand over to his son as his pre-christening present.
He extended his hand out to his father and with the other he smashed a vase where it held red and white roses –at his wife's bequest.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, My Lord Prince be careful or should I say Your Highness would that make My Lord Prince and son happier? Too much anger in you Carlos, clearly you are not fit for anything but put on a leash on your wife"
He looked at Katherine who avoided his gaze. "What did you do?" Carlos demanded
"Tell your husband Your Highness what color your son turned when you held him"
He didn't think it was possible for him to be angrier, but Carlos turned a darker shade of red. He was fuming, Philip could almost see smoke coming from his ears. "You nearly killed him!" He accused.
Katherine finally turned to face her big oaf husband "Of course I did not you big idiot! He would not stop crying, I tried to rock him, sing him but he has your lungs I am afraid!" She said, defending herself before the two men who along with her sister, were the cause of her misery.
"You see Carlos I was right you and your wife are not good parent material"
"I shall not suffer for this woman's folly, and if it were that why should I care? I have a son and that is all that matters isn't it My Lord father? That I have as many children and sons to secure the Hapsburg throne?"
Philip shook his head, his son had it all wrong "First you visit your children, you rear them, your first loyalty is to God but what would you know of loyalty and God when clearly you can't handle a poor soul like your son? I shudder to think how will the others, if there are others, will fare under you?" He said, raising his voice, he stopped as the child began screaming.
He rocked him back and forth and the child was instantly calmed, seeking his grandfather's warmth inside his doublet. He looked curiously at the small man with the odd back and wondered briefly who was he? Why was he so mean and why was he yelling?
He whimpered when he saw that mean man approach him and his 'papa'.
"Give him to me" He demanded with clenched teeth extending his arms. Philip looked at his hunchback son and regarded him the only way a man of his stature who'd been blessed in all ways with a beautiful wife, daughter and grandson, except for his only son –so far- could, as a monstrosity.
Catalina hearing the child whimpering put her hand to her temple that she used to blow her fan and muttered –"Not again" Wasn't it enough that she had to bear one screaming oaf? Now she had to bear its son incessant cries?
God …
Carlos now ignored his child's cried and raised his voice higher than before and continued on with his rant. "He is my son, my son! Not yours! You can't have him it is not right!"
"It is right!" Philip exclaimed "It is right for indeed you are not fit to raise a child, any child, let alone the child who's going to be heir of my dominions!"
"I am your heir!"
"You are nothing to me but a useless spur of seed I wasted on your mother!" He said forgetting all etiquette. He hated Carlos. Why did God curse him with Carlos? "No son of mine would behave the way you've behaved! Such attitude is not one of a Prince. The only good thing you've provided me with is this child!"
Carlos squeezed his fists and clenched his teeth. He could feel Catalina's gaze on him and his father was holding his son, he would not risk the child's health over his pride this time. It was the only card he had against his father.
"And I won't have this boy influenced either by you or your petty little wife. You can see him whenever you wish. But he stays with me"
"You will give me my son now, I will know what to do with him, I am his father!"
"You will? Then why don't you look at him? Do you think your son shares your opinion?" Philip asked as the baby struggled to get under his doublet.
Carlos advanced further but when he took another step that put him inches away from his father and son, the babe turned his eyes away from him.
"Felipe" He tried, his tone softening and holding a delicacy he'd not thought possible but the babe continued to look away and his cries only ceased when his father rocked him and whispered to him everything was going to be alright, and gave a light kiss on his cheek.
The sight brought him close to tears, but I will not cry –he told himself- in front of him. He was the blood of Hapsburg and the Avis house, he'd remain strong.
"You see the child has decided"
"He is a baby he decides nothing, I won't have you controlling him"
"He doesn't want to stay Carlos and if you don't believe me then you should My Lord Prince for I do not want him near you, just the sight of you irks me as it irks this child, furthermore its innocent soul shall not be stained by yours. Your touch alone is enough to corrupt it." He declared, the conversation ending he left the room with their son in his arms.
Carlos turned to his wife and said with disdain "You should have done better!" and left slamming the door behind him. Next time-she vowed waving her fan harder as if with this action she could erase all her problems, including her absolute hatred and envy for her sister –I will bring another child and this time he will be all mine!
Annie was halfway finishing her reading when her husband entered.
She raised her eyebrows when she saw Philip carrying a small bunch in his arms. "What..."
"It's Felipe...I had to bring him." Philip said "He's staying with us"
"Really?" Annie asked and went to him watching the little boy who was still sniffing scared of his father
"It's alright..." Philip whispered "You're safe now little one"
"Katherine?" she asked guessing her sister had not handled him properly.
"Worse...Carlos. He appeared and he went mad as he saw me rocking the boy. I had to take the child away for God knows what Carlos would do"
Anne grimaced at the scene that Philip told her about and shook her head in utter dismay. Poor child, at least she had been born to a good parent but her nephew, she pitied him because he had to have two goofballs as parents. Why was the Lord so unfair to them?
"Is he is crying still?" She asked taking a seat next to Philip in the bed and gazing at the child. This was the second time she saw him, the first time when she had assisted Katherine -against her protests- but it had been a briefly gaze as Katherine made it clear she did not want her handling her child.
"He has calmed down when we left. Didn't you little one?" Philip said talking softly "It's alright...it's alright my dear one"
"Until this morning I thought that you would never like him, I am glad we were both wrong for once. See, my hopes were right. He is hard not to love" Anne said as the baby giggled at his grandfather bonding more with him.
"No he's beautiful" Philip said eying him again.
"Yes...like his grandfather" Annie said kissing a small spot in Philip's neck which made him turn to kiss her lips
"You are amazing, if I hadn't taken your advice we would not be enjoying Felipe"
"I always have good ideas" She said "What are you going to do about Carlos? He's not going to give up so easily."
"We will think that later and besides he can't say I am not merciful, I let his petty little wife pick me and Diana as the godparents, so if he does something tomorrow at the christening it will be him who seems ungrateful"
"You still need to be careful Philip, I know my sister and she is capable of having another son just to get back at you and so does Carlos" Annie kept warning him but Philip hardly listened mesmerized by his grandson's eyes that mirrored his. Annie rolled her eyes slightly annoyed, but half touched by the scene. She could not wait to have this child, it would draw Philip's attention away from court and any distractions that had to do with his son. If the child she carried was indeed a boy it would give her nephew the opportunity of having someone to play with so he would not have to feel alone and abandoned all the time, and it would be great besides all that to see her sister's face when she found out that Annie had given birth to a boy for the second time.
The next day came; all the court and foreign ambassador came to the baptism eager to see the new addition of the Spanish Hapsburg. There were murmuring amongst each other, each guessing, each supposing the child must be as deformed as his father or evil as his great grandfather Henry VIII and all his Lancasterian ancestors.
What they saw shocked them to the bone. The baby that the Queen's best lady, Pipa carried -for the Queen was in dire need, now more than ever of her cane, after finally falling pregnant with -what they all hoped was- His Majesty's son. He was anything but his father, they shared some similarities but they were so little to be compared with, the first and foremost of their worries disappeared when they saw the child's arms reaching upward and the rest of his body when the Archbishop placed the holy waters on him, move freely. He was born without any deformity or movement impediment.
Philip looked proud with Felipe in his arms and Diana next to him smiling as well. He and Diana exchanged an accomplice look and Felipe didn't cry when the water passed through his brow. Philip thought the boy was fit to be King, for he was quiet and calm except of course when his father was around.
Katherine was only glad that the King had respected their wishes to have Diana as godmother instead of that bastard queen. Diana was fit to be a godmother, she cared for the child and she kept asking for her grandmother constantly that of course Katherine under the guise of the sweet, sweet Aunt, had to comply.
"He promised me he will let us visit him" Carlos said after the event was over.
Finally -thought Katherine. One more minute in that awful ceremony and she would have died of boredom! "And you really believe him?" She asked folding her arms and hitting his shoulder with her fan, something that angered him but she could care less.
"He can't keep us from him" he retorted trying to sound more logical but all the words came mixed up as she looked at him, her penetrating eyes plucking what little courage he had.
She rolled her eyes and walked with him holding hands for appearances' sake, but she kept her eyes away from him for the rest of the day. "You are so naive" She hissed. She had a naive and foolish husband, nothing but a dullard who did nothing else than complain and sulk in his chair. He should be thankful he had her, otherwise he would simply continue on with his boring life, being his father's shame, sonless, heirless.
"He is so tiny" said Diana who cupped her cousin's cheek "William was bigger, but he was silent too, but Margaret..." she shuddered remembering how her sister would not stop crying when she first came to be nursed by their grandmother. Mary had the power to silence her with a simple song and milk from her tits, but it was tedious to wait for Diana whose room at the time was next to Margaret's nursery. "He will not cry like Margaret right Your Majesty?"
"He will not cry, he's a prince of Spain" Philip answered simply
"You are sure Your Majesty? Because Margaret is a Princess and I hear from the Lord Protector how she needs constant attention, little king William does not, he is silent as this little one, maybe he takes after Spain too?"Philip chuckled.
"Diana you can call me Philip when we are not around guests" He said though he had the hidden hope she would one day see him as more than a stepdad, but as a father for he had never had a daughter, and Diana, well she was special. The little girl had conquered his heart.
"Very well Philip. So why don't Princes of Spain cry?"
"Because we don't."
"You didn't cry?"
"Very rarely" Philip answered before sitting with Felipe in his arms. "Do you want to hold him?"
"I am afraid I will drop him." She shook her head, there was fear in her eyes. "I better not"
"Come, you will not let him fall, it's easy. Even I can do it." Philip said "And I'm bad at holding babies, I was also was afraid I d'drop him but then I learned. Come on, I'm here he won't fall"
She was fearful but she came closer to Philip and he placed Felipe in her long and skinny arms. She could already hear the song of his cries in her mind but it never happened.
She gasped as the baby moved closer to her chest seeking more refuge "He likes me!"
"See nothing to fear" Philip chuckled at the tender scene. The baby hearing him do so imitated his grandfather. It was becoming a game of monkey see, monkey do, that Diana and the rest of her party found amusing.
"What's the surprise? Don't you think you are to be likened?" Diana asked giggling at her cousin who was doing faces at her. "He does look like you a lot fath...Philip"
Philip noticed the slip up and for a moment he wished she had meant to call him that. "It is natural I am his grandfather"
"You will be in charge of his education?" Diana inquired.
"Of course"
"And will he share lessons with my future brother or sister?"
"Yes, he probably will. Why do you ask that?" Philip asked
"I don't know. I just wanted to know" She said then lowering her eyes. Philip frowned.
He stood and gave the child to the one of the attendants. "Come" Philip said, extending her a hand "Let us go to the gardens, the air is too hot in here"
Diana took his hand and went with him to the gardens "May I ask you something Diana?"
"Of course"
"Are you happy here?" He asked her "Do you like living here? In Spain with me with your mother...?"
"Why do you ask that?" Diana asked with her eyebrows knit matching the complete perplexity found in her face, though inwardly she knew where this was going.
"Because I want to know" Then he added "It is important to me to know that you are happy here. And for your mother of course. Even if we have more children you are always going to be very special to her" And to me he added inside his head.
"I am happy here is just that I was afraid you will love the child more than me and I would not blame you if you did, he or she would be your child" She said truthfully. She had grown used to Philip that it was hard not to see him as anything but her stepfather, though sometimes she had the yearning that he would see her as his daughter, but she always pushed these thoughts away because they were naughty thoughts and she had his father and he would soon be a father again. They could not against the orders of nature or God.
Philip looked down at her. He then smiled and he sat on the bench in front of the lake. "May I?" He asked her softly if he could take her in his lap. She nodded and he picked her up and placed her on his knee "First...you must know that no matter how many children I have with your mother, you will always be very special for me. You must know that I love you. I love you very much Diana as if you were my daughter...I know, I know that I said that I never wanted to replace your father, and I don't want to. But I love you as such, as if I really were"
She smiled and made a confession "I think of you as more than my stepfather too that is why I care for you too, but ..." she lowered her eyes feeling guilty "...I never wanted to say it because I thought it would be a sin, after all Cranmer said that going against God's will was going against God himself."
"What?" Philip asked confused "I don't understand"
"I-I" she looked up and met his lighter gray eyes again. "I see you as more than my stepfather, as you put it, like I really was your daughter"
Philip smiled at her "And why do you think that's a sin?"
"Archbishop Cranmer said not to go against God's wishes, the own Calvin said we are all predestined, God gives us a fate and we can't go against what He has in store for us" she explained remembering what her father and Cranmer taught her.
Philip rolled his eyes discretely. 'Idiot bunch' he thought. But what more was there to be expected of heretics who did nothing but prey on people's fears, innocent and naive like his little stepdaughter, no, daughter Diana. "Diana, the fact that you like me as if I were your father it doesn't mean that you've forgotten your blood father. It just means that you came to like me as if I were. There is no harm in that." He said softly "There is no harm that you think of me as your father, or that I think of you as a my daughter...I won't love my other children any less because I love you. Nor you will love your father any less because you love me" He explained.
"You think then God will not be mad at me?"
"Of course not! And don't worry if He does I can always speak with the Pope" Philip said winking at her which made her laugh while he apologized secretly for the blasphemy.
"If only God would be so easy to convince like the pope but I understand, if it ever comes to a court case he can be my lawyer" she said squeezing his hand.
"You can call me father if you wish..." He said "Like you were about to do before"
"Alright ... can we go back inside" she hesitated and finally she said "father?"
"You're hungry aren't you?" He asked. She nodded her head vigorously "Then let us head for the kitchens first and then to your rooms. I'm sure your mother is already searching for us"
Diana at the sound of food greedily followed him and pulled his hand with greater force.