Author's Note: Last night I had an epiphany about what I want to happen in this story. So now I know exactly what is going to happen, but its definitely going to be a ride for my lovely readers. J
Disclaimer: Not mine, JE's… just playing with it
"Wake up, Babe." I heard the soft voice calling to me.
"Open your eyes."
"They are open." I muttered in response, receiving a deep chuckle.
"Then what color clothes am I wearing?"
"Black." He laughed again, and slowly I opened my eyes to Ranger sitting next to me on the bed, dressed and ready for the day. "Told ya you were wearing black."
"Babe, if a blind man knew anything about me he'd know I was wearing black." I smiled and slowly sat up.
"What time is it?"
"1 in the afternoon." What! No way, I never sleep this long- especially since I've been pregnant. I couldn't get comfortable and I constantly had to pee, there was no way… unless. I carefully reached down onto the bed making sure I wasn't laying in a puddle- nice and dry. Well that's a relief.
"Apparently those pills Ella gave you are very strong, I was only supposed to let you have one, but I didn't know that until I practically yelled at her this morning because I thought something had to be wrong. Don't worry, it won't do anything to hurt the baby, you just became a little sleepier."
"Obviously."
"Well get up, I had Ella bring up lunch." As if my stomach was trying to talk to Ranger it growled in response to him. He smiled and threw back the blankets of the bed so I couldn't get lost in sleep once again. No worry about that, now that I was awake I had to pee so bad. I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, I felt much better now. I splashed some water on my face and went out to join Ranger, he sat at the dining room table flipping through some more client files. Sitting in a bowl in front of my seat, and Ranger was a bowl of steaming Mac and Cheese that smelt better than anything I've had before.
"What is this?" I asked pointing to the food.
"Macaroni and cheese, I figured you'd know."
"No, I mean I know exactly what it is but I didn't think you did."
"Funny. I had Ella make it for you."
"And you?"
"I have to eat too, Babe." Ranger always knew how to surprise me, just when I thought I knew what to expect. Next to my bowl of food was another mug of the herbal tea, which I surprisingly really liked. Since that was so not normal for me I decided it wasn't me that liked it but my baby as soon as my little one could eat things other than milk I would have to teach it what good food really is. My first bite was amazing, I figured once you had Mac N Cheese you knew what you were getting. I mean come on, cheese and noodles- plain and simple. Nothing about this was plain and simple I wanted to slow down and savor each bite, but the more I ate- the more I wanted. Every bite tasted just as good and once it was gone I sipped on my tea. Ranger still sat across from me, eating his much slower his eyes fixated on the same files he had been staring at since last night. There was something about his expression that I didn't understand, usually he was unreadable and stoic. Only letting you see what he wanted you to see, this was something I couldn't put my finger on.
I finished my tea and decided I would at least brush my teeth and shower while he seemed preoccupied. I pushed away from the table and made my way to the bedroom again to grab a change of clothes. I didn't want to completely unpack my suitcase but I wanted to feel comfortable. I loved my jeans but since my little one decided to start showing a little more they were so uncomfortable. I found a pair of black yoga pants and a white tank top, thankfully my white bra was at the top of my suitcase so that worked perfectly. I zipped up my remaining clothes and turned towards the bathroom but almost fell backwards when I saw Ranger leaning against the wall quietly, not making eye contact with me.
"Jesus! You scared me! Why didn't you say anything?"
"Why don't you?"
"What?" Okay, I'm missing something.
"Are you really not going to tell me!" Ranger raised his voice, his eyes caught mine, pain- that was the emotion I was seeing.
"Tell you what?"
"About the plane ticket." My mouth dropped open, how did he know.
"How did you…?"
"When we saw Morelli searching for you I pulled up a list of recent transactions from your account to see if you had paid any hospital co-pays or anything. Instead there was a plane ticket, I called the airport and all they would tell me was that it was a one-way ticket to Madison but they wouldn't tell me when it was for." Finally it made sense, last night when he looked scared it wasn't because he thought I was in danger- he was used to that. He thought I left without saying goodbye.
"You thought I left?" His head gave a nod that if you didn't know Ranger, you wouldn't have noticed.
"What's going on, Stephanie?" Uh oh, Stephanie- not babe, he wasn't fooling around anymore.
"I did buy a ticket, my plane leaves tomorrow morning. I can't stay here anymore, I can't be what people expect me to be."
"So you're running away?"
"No, I'm not running away."
"You're right, I'm mistaken- you're flying away. Were you even going to tell me?"
"Yes I was. And I'm not running, I'm going because I need to find out what I want. I need to be somebody I'm proud of and if I stay here I will never be able to be that person. I will always be judged by a standard I don't want to live up to, I will always stuck in the same unmoving spot watching everything pass me by. And I don't want that, and I don't want my child to see me as nothing more but they housewife."
"Why Madison?"
"Actually, Madison is just the airport I'm flying into. There's an hour drive to where I'm going, it's called Fond du Lac. I've heard good things about it."
"Who else knows?"
"Besides you, no one." I reached down into my purse and pulled out the 3 letters I had written.
"I would like you to deliver them once I'm gone. If I tell them before I go, I won't get on that plane- and I need to be on that plane." He nodded, but the pain didn't leave his eyes, I couldn't take seeing that look in his face. I wanted to protect him for pain the best I could, and this pain was caused by me. I threw my clothes on the bed and ran to him wrapping my arms tightly around his neck. His arms wound tight around me keeping me close, he buried his face in my wild curly hair. We stood like this for a few minutes, but I never wanted to let go. All good things come to an end though, finally he released me. I watched him walk to the bed scoop my clothes up and hold them out to me.
"I have to get some work done. Please feel free to stay the night, if you need to leave feel free to take whatever car you want. Oh, and say goodbye to them before you leave." I nodded feeling tears beginning to surface, the lump in my throat was back. I refused to let Ranger see me cry, there'd be plenty of time for tears once I got to my new home.
"Hal got your check and deposited it into your bank account, so that's all done."
"Okay." I muttered out, wanting to say more- but I couldn't. Ranger turned and left and I ran to the bathroom immersing myself in a hot Bulgari scented shower. With a heavy amount of tears that decided they couldn't wait until Wisconsin to appear.
The rest of the day I slowly made my way through the guys I grew to know and love. Ranger must have told them something because there wasn't a thousand questions I needed to answer. I hardly said anything, the hug I shared with them was words enough. I took Ranger's Porsche and went to the Bond's office and told Connie and Lula how much they meant to me. They seemed confused but assumed I was just emotional because I was pregnant. I wasn't ready to tell them and explain it again. Telling Ranger was one thing, he was my best friend and he understood me in a way no one else would. I drove past all the places I wanted to remember, but I didn't dare getting out of the car. I didn't want to risk running into Joe, or falling apart and have to explain what was wrong. My cell phone had been off since I left Joe's house and I still didn't want to turn it on. I could only imagine the voicemails I would have from everyone I was leaving behind. I stopped at a gas station, put a few quarters into the pay phone and dialed Morelli's house number. I knew he'd be at work I wanted to leave a message, when the answering machine picked up I told him I was okay, and that I was sorry. There was nothing else I could say right now- it was all in the letter, and once he read it he would understand my apology. I hoped.
That night Ranger left a note that he was out picking up an FTA and expected to be late. So I ate more of the Mac N Cheese Ella made, and fell into a dreamless night of sleep. The next morning I woke up at 730, dressed in the outfit I wore the day before, this time with one of Ranger's sweatshirts over my tank top. I needed something of his too and it felt like it would be a sin to take one of his pillows. I grabbed a muffin and noticed Ranger wasn't in the apartment. There was no way I could leave without saying goodbye to him. Before I left the apartment I used the phone to call for a cab and told them where to meet me. I wasn't even going to try and get a cab in the Rangeman garage, so instead I'd lug my suitcases out to the street and let them decide what to do with my car.
On 5 the lights were off in Ranger's office, he wasn't in the control room, break room or talking with anyone at their cubicles. Finally though I saw Lester, I ran to him and asked where Ranger was.
"I don't know, he left early this morning. Didn't say much, do you need a ride to the airport?"
"No, I'm having a cab pick me up."
"Let me at least help get your bags into the cab." I agreed, we rode down to the garage. He slung my duffel bags over his arms and pulled the handle on the big suitcase to utilize the wheels. I grabbed Morelli's pillow and clutched tight to my purse, the cab was just pulling up as we reached the street. The cab driver popped the trunk and Lester placed all my bags in the back. Lester leaned into the driver's window, and I could only imagine how freaked out he had to be. I knew these guys to be big softies but that wasn't why they were hired. They knew how to intimidate anyone they needed to, and this guy had to be shitting his pants with Lester that close.
"You better drive carefully, because I swear to God if anything happens to this girl while she is in your care you better run. Because if I catch up to you, you'll pray you were dead once you realize what I have planned."
"Yes… uh yes sir." The cab driver choked out.
"Oh and here." Lester slipped the driver a wad of cash. "She's going to the airport and she's pregnant- don't make this girl get her own bags. You help her in until those bags are checked in. Because if you don't, I'll find out and you won't be able to make a living as a cab driver once I'm done with you." The driver nodded and Lester turned back to me a grin so wide spread across his face. I smacked him on his arm, trying not to laugh.
"You don't have to scare the poor guy."
"Sure I did, how else would he realize just how precious his cargo is?" I pulled him in for one final hug, I couldn't hold back my sob anymore.
"You take care of yourself, Bomber. Don't be a stranger, you hear me. That's an order."
"I promise." I sobbed out into his shirt. The hug ended and as the cab slowly pulled out into traffic I watched Lester as he stood there. I don't know for sure, but I swear I saw a tear escape down his cheek. The rest of the ride to the airport went by in a blur, I could hardly hold back my tears but the driver didn't try to interrupt. I'm sure he was still worried about Lester's threat. He pulled into the unloading zone for cabs, popped the trunk and put his hazards on. I didn't expect him to take all the bags like Lester had, so I took control of the wheelie suitcase. We went into the line, I received my boarding pass and checked the 3 big bags, keeping my purse and pillow as a carry on. I paid the driver and headed through security, by the time I got to the gate I still had a little over an hour to wait before I could get on the plane.
My emotions were all over the place, but they all came out as one thing- tears. I sat in a vacant row of seats, and laid down in a section that didn't have armrests. I curled into a ball holding my purse close, and buried my face into the pillow. I didn't bother looking around to see who was watching me, thinking I was a lunatic. Another half hour passed and I could feel someone standing dangerously close to me. I tried to ignore it at first, but then he finally said something.
"Excuse me miss, but I do believe you're wearing my sweatshirt." My eyes shot up and standing over me was Ranger, I jumped from my seat into his arms. He lifted me off the ground in an embrace and a whole new set of tears fell.
"It's mine now, sir."
"You didn't really think I was going to let you leave without saying goodbye did you?"
"Well when I didn't see you this morning, I thought you had a meeting or something you couldn't miss."
"This is what I can't miss, babe. No meeting will ever be more important, remember that." He set me down and I took the sleeve of his sweatshirt and wiped away the tears, I couldn't help but smile to just see him here.
"How'd you get to the gate anyways? You have to have a ticket to get here, did you threaten someone to get here?" Ranger chuckled, and tucked a curl behind my ear.
"This is how." He held something out for me to see, it was a ticket to Madison. In the seat next to me.
"I figured you could use a little help getting situated. Considering how you're going to need all new furniture and you shouldn't be doing heavy lifting." He sat on the bench and pulled me into his lap, I curled into him.
I wanted to tell him he didn't have to do this, but the truth was I needed him. Not just for the furniture and finding a place, but I needed him in a way I couldn't explain. We only separated once we had to board the plane, and I was glad we were on the side of the plane that had only 2 per seat. We fastened our seatbelts and I curled back into him, my head resting against his shoulder but our arms wrapped together.
We got to Madison and Ranger rented a car so we could get around easily and we drove to the town of Fond du Lac. It was exactly as the gas station attendant had described, not too big, not too small. It was perfect.
Over the next week I found a two bedroom duplex with an upstairs, a basement and a large backyard that I shared with neighbors I would quickly grow to love. I picked out new furniture, dishes and paint colors for my home. While I unpacked (what little I had) and what new things I bought, Ranger painted. It was an experience I couldn't imagine spending with anyone else, we talked for hours on end about everything there was to talk about. Even the silence was comfortable, and finally at the end of my first week in my new home everything was finished. The living room was a cream color, with one wall as a deep red. The baby's room was painted a beautiful shade of mocha, and there were stick on wall-art that would be put up once I found out the sex of the baby. My room was a deep shade of purple with a King size bed and sheet set that was almost as nice as Ranger's. I had found a doctor I liked, stocked my fridge with more food than I have ever had in my fridge all at one point. One day while I was napping Ranger even bought a washer and dryer and hooked it up in the basement. The last day he was going to be in town he took me car shopping and we agreed on a 2004 Dodge Stratus, in black.
But now here we stood, in my living room that I had grown to love, especially when it came with Ranger. It was time to say goodbye. My arms were wound tightly around him, I wanted to tell him to stay. I wanted to tell him that he needed to be here with me, but I couldn't ask that of him. I knew he would stay if I asked him, but that wasn't fair - I was the one who chose to move here.
"Remember why you came here." I nodded into his chest. "Find your happiness, Stephanie Plum."
"Only if you promise to find yours Carlos Manoso." He rubbed my back and if he wouldn't have had his arms holding me together, I'm sure I would have completely fallen to pieces.
"Things won't be the same without you, babe." I felt the same about him, but I made my decision- I couldn't change my mind now. But I knew our conversation was coming to an end and I wanted to say something amazing. Something we would both remember for years to come but the only thing that came into my head was a line from a movie that I had always wanted to say.
"Goodbye Scarecrow, I'm going to miss you most of all." I said, he took my face in his hands and pulled back a little.
"Wizard of Oz?" He asked with a smile.
"You never stop surprising me." I said.
"I could say the same about you, Babe." With a final kiss on my forehead he unwound my arms from him and headed out to his car. I ran to the window and watched him pull away then I ran to my closet, grabbed Ranger's sweatshirt and curled into a ball on my bed and cried.