Author's Note: Hello my darlings! I realize I usually add at least a chapter a day- and it has been a little while for me :/ So anyways, I hope this has been worth the wait!. I also want to say thank you to everyone who is reading this story, and another to those of you telling me what you think- I absolutely love hearing your feedback! Oh! And I have to say an enormous THANKS to JerseySue since I am not actually a Jersey girl Sue has been helping me get a feel of the land =] so without further ado…
Disclaimer: All you recognize isn't mine it's JE's, I'm just twisting it into my own version.
The next day I called Eddie when I woke up and gave him the news, to say he was excited- was quite an understatement. Not only did I have a great record at my job, and I'm not going to lie I am damn good at my job. However, even if I was the worst detective in the world, Eddie would still hire me. I brought Aly into daycare but she was so mad at me, I broke the news to her last night after I got off the call with Ranger and she doesn't want to leave. Which I can understand- Trenton has always been a home to me, but this has always been her home. We're leaving behind the friends and memories we've made, nothing about goodbye is easy- especially when now I'm the one has to be strong. When I left Trenton to come here, maybe the move itself was strong but if it wasn't for Ranger I would have completely broken apart. I didn't have that this time, sure I would see him when I got home- it has been almost a year since we last saw him- other than through video chat.
Then there was Joe… I was most nervous to see him of everyone, we had a decent email relationship but that was it. How could we be face-to-face and talk about Aly if I couldn't even talk to him on the phone. Not only that but Joe had a way of making my heart skip a beat when I saw him, and although I haven't wanted to admit this- I missed him so much. He had always come in and out of my life, but this time I ran from him- Ranger had been right, I was running away. But why, I mean why was I running from Joe, I had him didn't I? I mean we were completely together- I could have just put up with it and by now I would probably be Mrs. Joe Morelli. But I had become so detached from everything I cared about, it's like I was running just to feel again. I had forgot what it was like to feel truly happy, and truly belong. Deep in my heart an unsettling feeling began to take over, I feel more nervous to go home than I was to leave home. I suppose because now I actually have to face what I left, no more hiding out in an alternate universe where everything was perfect and uncomplicated. It was as if the last few days of my life with Joe- and all the things I didn't say, and all the silence that hung between us- all of it was screaming out to me now. And now, I had to be in my new office on Monday morning- so including today that gave me all of 6 days.
I pulled into my parking spot at the office and sat there for a few minutes. This was going to be the last time I would come to work here at a place I have fallen in love with. So with one final deep breath I walked through the front doors, saying Hi to those who knew that this may be the last time I was here. I walked over to my desk and saw all my photos of Aly, and personal items were all gone. Instead was the all too familiar note from my boss; When you get in, come to my office. I folded the note and put it in my purse, after receiving this note everyday for the last 3 years- I couldn't just throw this one away. Kimber sat behind his desk staring at something on his computer screen and a box sat on his desk- containing all my things.
"I'm guessing you talked to, Eddie?" I asked cautiously sitting across from him. There was going to be a lot of difficult goodbyes in the next few days, and saying goodbye to Kimber was going to be one of those ones.
"I didn't have to, Plum."
"Are you saying you're going to fire me?" He shook his head and when he finally looked at me I saw true sadness looking back at me.
"I'm telling you that you have to take this job."
"Why?" So okay, I already took the job- but when someone says something like that, if you don't find out what they mean- you will always wonder.
"It's a great opportunity for you, one part of being a detective is all about following your instincts, not just looking at facts. When I first met you, I knew you were going to be great and you became better than I ever imagined. But you are too good for this place." I smiled at him, fighting back the sensation I might cry.
"This is starting to sound like the beginning of a bad break up." Kimber chuckled at me and shook his head.
"I have gone through some pretty bad break ups and none of them sounded that good."
"Are you a heartbreaker, Kim-Bo?" He threw back his head and let out one loud laugh.
"Not anymore, I work then I go home and do some yard work, and then I'm back to work." Kimber struck me as a guy that would be married and have kids and grandkids that loved him to death- but he was always working. So I know he was so afraid to start a life and miss out and everything important.
"You should change that."
"We should change the conversation back, back to…"
"Goodbye?" He stood and walked around his desk and pulled me in tight for a bear hug.
"I sure am going to miss you, kiddo. Don't you forget about us here." I hugged my arms tight around him and closed my eyes holding back the tears.
"I couldn't even if I tried." He let out another laugh and released me.
"Well take your box and get out of here, you have a lot of packing to do."
"Are you going to fire me if I don't leave?"
"Nah, but I might have you arrested and thrown in jail so you can't go back to Trenton."
"You couldn't do that to me." Kimber shook his head and took the chair behind the desk again.
"Give me a call and let me know you got home safely." I picked up my box of stuff and walked towards the door, but stopped and turned back towards him.
"You should try going on a date, speed dating might be fun."
"Now why would I do that?" Now he was amused.
"It's no fun being alone."
"I could say the same thing to you."
"I'm not alone, I have Aly."
"Stephanie, don't become me- don't work so much that one day you look in the mirror and realize you are 50 years old and have no one to come home to, no one to deal with the important things in life."
After I left I couldn't help but replay what he said in my mind, the thing is- I had that someone, two of them. Two amazing very different guys that made all the bad things fade away. But that was 4 years ago, I'm a different person now- and most importantly I'm a mother. I should probably make myself a promise to ward off all men, but then again this past 4 years I have done just that. Not necessarily by choice, but I met no one I liked enough to try and experiment with them in the bedroom. Besides, how does one go from the Italian Stallion and the sexy Ranger- to something that's only average at best. Oh well best not to think about it right now.
I made a quick stop at the liquor store got a couple bottles of wine, a couple 6 packs of wine coolers and some beer. If this is my last week here, I'm going to spend it with my neighbors, and my Mandy- enjoying every last minute I have here. I picked up Peter and Aly from daycare and headed back to the duplex, today was the first official day of summer vacation for the kids in the neighborhood- meaning Mandy would definitely be in need of a drink. We walked into Mandy's house and she saw the treats I brought back from the liquor store.
"Bless you." She said with a smile.
Throughout the day we wrangled up our group of neighbors, hung out in our large backyard, and the kids hit the sprinklers. There were 3 other women to join our group- Shelby that had twin 12 year old boys, Trisha that had a 6 year old boy and a 10 year old girl and Lainie a 23 year old that had moved in about a year ago and joined our group. We sipped on the wine coolers throughout the day and had some pizzas ordered to us so we didn't have to stop and go inside to cook. When the husbands arrived; Kevin, Vincent and Lainie's boyfriend Kyle they were pleased to see there was beer for them too. As the sun began to set, the kids changed into different clothes but didn't stop playing around. The boys got the fire pit started and we did what I have learned to be something you have to do if you live in Wisconsin- eat sunflower seeds. We went through those things so much that I was surprised there was any left to be sold. When I moved here I didn't understand what the point was, it seemed like a lot of work just get a tiny seed- but it didn't take long for Mandy to get me hooked. I've heard people who want to quit smoking should try to eat sunflower seeds to help curb addictions- well I'm going to have to stop smoking to quit eating these things.
Breaking the news that we were leaving hit our neighbors harder than I imagined. I suppose it wasn't until I saw the tears well up in their eyes and receive more big hugs that I actually realized- these people were truly my friends. Sometimes I just considered them to be neighbors that always hung out, but it was more than that. They took Aly and I in with such open hearts giving us the sense of family we so longed for. Now that was all coming to an end, but when you get the wine flowing and people begin to really loosen up there aren't any tears. Only jokes and bizarre stories, oh and tiaras. When McKayla was 8 I guess she saw that Mandy was on this website for party supplies for kids birthday's. Well she found these fake plastic tiaras with pink feather boa material around the bottom of the crown, which makes sense for little girls- so it won't pull their hair. So McKayla decided she wanted one, but didn't realize she typed in 100 and since Mandy's credit card information was already programmed on the site, two weeks later she was given 100 tiaras. At first Mandy tried to send them back, but the site said they didn't do refunds, and there was no point trying to sell them because they were just simple plastic. So we began wearing the tiaras whenever we got the chance, birthdays, holidays, a few drinks around the bonfire.
At first the other neighbors thought Mandy and I had lost our minds by wearing them all the time. Now all us girls sat with our tiaras on and watched our kids play tag and every other game they could possibly think of.
"Anyone want another one? I'm going in to grab my sweatshirt?" I asked the group, I should have just grabbed the drinks anyway since they all wanted another one. Even though I bought a lot of stuff, it lasted a while because we didn't drink to get drunk, especially with our kids around. But on a hot summer day, it hit the spot. I ran upstairs and found Ranger's black sweatshirt and threw it on over my tank top. I debated changing my white shorts to something warmer, but decided against it. Instead I let my hair fall out of the bun it was in, and put my crown back in place. As I was grabbing another round of drinks I heard Mandy shriek.
"Holy shit, it's a burglar!"
"Why would a burglar come around to the back where there are clearly people sitting."
"Well then maybe he's a murderer!" I set one of the drinks back in the fridge, okay maybe Mandy has had one too many.
"Why the hell would that be a murderer, Mandy?" Lainie asked, she fit right in with our group, had that right amount of attitude and knew how to take a joke.
"Well if it's not then why is that man walking towards us in all black? I know everyone in this neighborhood and I don't recognize him!" I practically dropped the bottles on the table and ran out the back door, man dressed in all black- can it be? Over the glow of the fire came the silhouette that I knew instantly, and took off running.
"Don't Steph! You have too much to live for!" Mandy yelled back, but I didn't care standing feet in front of me was Ranger. His smile was just as wide as mine was as he saw me. I jumped into his arms and let him hold me tight. Oh how I have missed this man, the way he smelt, the way it felt to have his arms around me. And just the way I totally lit up every time I saw him. I took in another deep breath of him, the Bulgari he left me was wonderful to have- it smelt amazing. But I slowly realized as time went on, it wasn't just the smell of the shower gel that I liked- and the smell I liked I couldn't get out of a bottle. He set me back on my feet and tucked a curl behind my ear sending chills throughout my body.
"What in the world are you doing here?"
"I helped you move in, so now I'm going to help you come home, babe." Home. Until I heard that word leave Ranger's mouth the thought of going back to Trenton didn't make me think of home.
"Why though! You have an entire company you should be running- you shouldn't be wasting your time here helping me move." That 200 watt smile I had seen for the past year over the internet, didn't do it justice to the way it looked in person.
"Okay, so I'm not going to exactly be helping you move- because well I've hired movers to do that, I'm here to help you drive your car back." There was so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to ask, and there was another part that just wanted to hug him so close. I had missed my best friend.
"You know I don't have a gun stashed in the bottom of my seat like in all your cars, right?" He laughed wrapping an arm around me pressing his lips to my forehead.
"I've missed you, babe."
"Well I've missed you too, but you didn't have to fly out here plus take an hour drive just to help me drive all the way home- it's a 17 hour drive."
"Yes, I realize that but I know how restless I would be for that whole time you were on the road. Besides, if something happened to not just you, but my little babe- well let's just put it this way. Even though I took some time off to come here, I would have been mentally taking off some time if I stayed there. Speaking of which, where is little babe?" I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the fire pit where everyone was staring at us. One thing that made me feel right at home about Wisconsin was how nosy everyone was. There was times I'd walk into Mandy's house and see her with a pair of binoculars staring across the street into the neighbors house. Because they bought something new and didn't show her so she had to find out, and part of me wanted to tell her how foolish she was, while the other part of me (that always won in the end) joined her in staring.
"Mandy, I've talked to the murderer and he promised not to kill us until after we've put the fire out. Got to prevent those forest fires." I said, making everyone laugh. She got up and gave Ranger a big hug, they got along great whenever Ranger was in town to visit us.
"Aly! Come see whose here." I yelled into the yard, unsure of which running outline was hers, until I saw her run towards us. At first she was just running to me because I called her, but when she saw Ranger her face lit up- just as I imagine mine did and she booked it towards him. Just like me she jumped into his arms, and he held her in one of his bear hugs. The sight made me happier than any other, Aly didn't see Ranger as often as the men in the neighborhood but she was drawn to him more than any of the other men who had been in her life so far.
"How's my little babe doing?" He asked her, adjusting her onto his hip.
"I'm okay! Do you want to come play tag."
"I have to talk to your mom right now, but you guys are moving by me so we'll have all the time in the world later." I liked the sound of that. He placed a kiss on the top of her head and put her down so she could go back to playing. Me and him walked inside, he walked to the front door opened in and grabbed a small duffel bag from the front steps.
"What the hell is that?"
"My clothes, I went to the front first, but then I heard you out back so I went around and figured I'd just leave it there."
"So you hired a moving company?" He sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to him, even if he wouldn't have there was no way I was going to stay away from him now that he was back.
"Yup."
"Well let me pay them."
"No, babe I'm not going to let you do that."
"Why not? I'm the one moving not you."
"Hearing that you were moving back is the best news I've had in 4 years." I laid my head on his shoulder, wrapping my arms around his.
"I'm happy you're here." The was a few moments of comfortable silence while we soaked in everything about this moment.
"Tomorrow the guys will come and take a look at everything that needs to be moved out. You will pack a suitcase for you and little babe, and wrap up anything breakable like your picture frames and stuff. Then the next morning we'll leave, and the guys will come later on. It will take them a little longer to get to Trenton because they will make more stops then I plan to let us make."
"Sure." I said, usually I'd argue about something, but I was just happy to be having a conversation face to face for once.
"You're actually just okay with all of this?"
"Why not." He pulled my chin up to look at him, with a smirk on his lips.
"How many cheap cheerleader beers have you had?"
"Not many- but I've sort of been drinking them all day so now I'm just tired."
"Well let's get Aly in and we'll all go to bed." I nodded, he stood and went to go get Aly so I went to her room to get her pajamas out. She already had a bath after playing in the sprinkler so I would just put her to sleep.
After reading her a story she was out like a light, all that fresh air and exercise is going to make her sleep well tonight. I went to my room and changed into my summer pajamas, and crawled into bed. Ranger followed a few minutes after and laid down next to me. Normally, this would be the beginning of a wild night- his arm around me pulling me close, lights out just the two of us. But since we moved here, every time Ranger came up to visit there was nothing- he slept in my bed but it was never anything more than sleeping. There weren't any stolen passionate kisses when I least expected it, and there was hardly any sexual remarks- at all. After the first time I experienced this I felt like something had to be wrong with me. Not that I would have actually had sex with him (probably) it still felt as if something was wrong with me. But nothing else had changed, he was still amazing to me, still looked at me the same way but nothing on a physical level.
I could tell he was falling asleep- I couldn't even imagine how tired he would be after a day on a plane, hour drive plus whatever else he did before getting on that plane. I wanted to go to sleep but I just couldn't I was happy to see him again, but the reason itself was bittersweet. I rolled over in his arms so I was facing him, his expression was peaceful but I knew he wasn't sleeping yet. My fingers found his face and slowly brushed against the face I knew better than my own. But it was like my fingers weren't satisfied with just the touch of his face again, they needed more. Slowly they began running through his hair, down his neck and over the muscles in his arms. His eyes remained shut, but I could tell he was more awake now then he had been. I wanted more, I wanted to feel, even for a moment that he desired me the way he used to. My lips found his neck, placing soft kisses from his ear to his shoulder. I pulled my face back a little to look at him, his brown eyes were locked with mine and for just a moment the look of desire was there, but in a flash it was gone.
"What are you doing, babe?" My heart was ready to break, it took less than this to make him want me. I feeling of pain was setting into me, and I knew I couldn't lay here anymore.
"I'm going to get some water, I'm thirsty." I pushed myself out of bed and before I could completely get away he grabbed my arm and placed a soft kiss on my wrist.
"I really did miss you." He whispered, but it wasn't the start of something more, it was the end of my attempts to- well I don't even know what.
"I know." I whispered back and went downstairs before a few frustrated tears surfaced. I got a glass of water- not because I was thirsty, but because I assumed Ranger who's hearing was bionic would be listening to make sure that I really was getting something to drink. After a few more minutes in the kitchen I decided I couldn't back up to my room so instead I laid down on the couch and let sleep overcome my frustrated body.
The next morning I awoke with a cramp in my neck for laying in the same position all night. I opened my eyes and Aly's face was inches from mine she stared at me, some sort of deep thought running through her pretty little face. I noticed her hair was brushed and she was dressed for the day.
"Did you sleep in your clothes?" I asked, suddenly not remembering if I had been that out of it last night that I didn't even put my kid in her pajamas.
"No, Ranger helped me pick these out. He said to let you sleep a little longer." Geez, not only did I make a fool of myself in front of him last night, but he was also taking care of my kid for me.
"Where is he now?"
"He's outside cleaning up." Good Lord now he was cleaning up the mess from our bonfire last night, well not anymore. I flipped off the couch and marched to the backyard where I saw Ranger walking around with a garbage bag picking up the discarded beer bottles.
"Ranger!" I yelled, my voice coming off angrier than I thought I felt, he too was caught off guard by my voice.
"Babe?"
"What are you doing?" Okay so he didn't deserve for me to treat him like this, but I couldn't come out here guns a blazing and then turn soft again.
"I was helping you clean up."
"No, you were cleaning up for me. I can take care of this, I've done it for the past 4 years I don't need you treat me like I can't take care of my own house."
"I wasn't saying you couldn't, babe. I was only trying to help." He set the bag down and walked to me and grabbed my face between his hands.
"You want to help, go play with Aly at the park or something so I can take care of my house." I know my eyes looked cold to him, I didn't dare ever yell at him like this, and I wasn't sure where it was coming from- what, all because he didn't immediately jump at the chance to be with me last night? Come on, who was I kidding- after 4 years I couldn't expect him to still be waiting around for me. He probably had a new 'babe' that blew up his cars and shared his apartment with him. Ella probably loved her too, and made her favorite meals and sent her not so subtle hints that her and Ranger should become something more. Just the thought of this girl who I didn't even know was real or not made me want to break down. But Ranger still held my face in his hands, his eyes telling me there was something not being said- that couldn't be said either. No problem, I already knew what it was, I removed his hands from my face and walked back into the house. Aly sat at the kitchen table coloring in one of her princess coloring books.
"Sweetie, you are going to go to the park with Ranger- mommy has stuff to get done here. Why don't you go see if Aunty Mandy and the kids want to go with you guys, then meet Ranger right out front. Don't you go anywhere he can't see you, okay?"
"Yes mommy." She said and started taking off for the front door.
"Wait a minute, where's my kiss!" I yelled back, and she turned around and I knelt down so she could run into my arms and give me a big hug and kiss. Then she took off again, and Ranger stood with me in the kitchen.
"She'll wait for you out front."
"The movers are coming today to look at the place."
"I'm pretty sure I can handle it." I said before I stomped upstairs, I felt like a 7 year old that was told she couldn't have a candy bar before bed- but I couldn't stop it. I didn't understand what had gotten into me, all the times before when he visited I never tried to do anything more, and I was fine with that. Maybe just because I was actually going back with him I felt there should be more.
I couldn't hold back my angry tears anymore so as soon as I heard the front door shut behind Ranger, I let them out. But I couldn't just sit around and sob like a baby, especially giving Ranger shit for being able to take care of my own house. So I packed a suitcase for myself and one for Aly with things I knew we would need until we found a place to live- and had access to the rest of our stuff. The movers came, I assumed just the guys that told the others what had to be done. They left we with a couple boxes and bubble wrap for my fragile stuff. So I wrapped my pictures in the bubble wrap and even did all the dishes the same way. I was quite impressed with how efficiently I worked when I was angry, it was getting close to dinner time so I decided to hop in the shower to give my towels enough time to dry before I packed it up tomorrow. I decided to skip using Bulgari this time, that would be a little strange for right now. When I got out Ranger and Aly were home, he was sitting on the couch with his legs resting on the table in front of him. Aly was sitting in his lap, her legs stretched in front of her like Ranger's, her head laying against his chest. They were watching Beauty and the Beast, Aly's favorite princess, neither paid much attention to me as I walked into the living room.
"I packed up all the dishes so I just figured I'd pick up some Tucker's for dinner."
"Yeah!" Aly yelled, Tucker's was like a fast food joint- but exponentially better than McDonald's and Burger King.
"Sure." Ranger added. I grabbed my purse and went next door to get Mandy- thankfully Richie her husband was home so she left the kids and told them she would get them Tucker's too, and we went.
"Oh after we leave tomorrow, take whatever you want from my fridge- they're only packing up non-perishables."
"Then I will definitely go grocery shopping in your kitchen tomorrow." Okay, so normally I could pick up food and not bring Mandy with- but there was a reason for her company tonight.
"So how did it go at the park?"
"Oh it was great."
"Did Ranger seem different to you at all?" She thought about my question for a minute.
"Well he was playing with Aly, or watching her play and ever couple minutes he'd take his cell phone out of his pocket, look at it- sigh then put it away. Any idea what that's about?"
"Yeah- he's got a girlfriend."
"You're shitting me!" She yelled practically jumping out of her seat.
"Nope, I noticed there was something different about him and then I finally figured it out."
"Did he tell you about her?"
"He didn't have to- I know that man,"
"Damn, I can't even believe that shit- all along I thought the two of you would get married." Married? Me and Ranger- Wonder woman and Batman, yeah right.
"You need to cut back on the alcohol because you are clearly delusional."
"Oh whatever, I hardly drink- and I am far from delusional. The way he looks at you," She sighed, "I'd give anything to have Richie look at me like that- even once." I looked at her to try to find a smile, or a way to see she was joking- she wasn't.
"Well, he has a girlfriend."
"I'm sorry, Steph."
"Why are you sorry- there's nothing to be sorry about it's not like we were a couple or anything. He's just my best friend, along with you of course." Mandy smiled, but I could see she looked upset by my news.
After dinner I gave Aly a bath and hung up her towel to let her drive. Read her a book and kissed her good night. Ranger was sitting on the couch with my laptop open in front of him.
"Well, I'm going to head up to bed. Thank you for spending the day with her." I said, standing at the bottom of the steps.
"It was nice, she's a great kid." I smiled.
"She sure is."
"I have some phone calls I need to make, it will be a little while before I go to bed." Yeah, I bet his girlfriend was waiting for him to call and admit that he hadn't cheated on her.
"Okay, well good night."
"Good night, Stephanie." Clearly someone else had become his babe, now I was just Stephanie. Never have I hated the sound of my own name more than at this moment. I waited for almost two hours to see if Ranger would join me in bed, but by the time I fell asleep he still wasn't next to me.
I woke up when my covers were yanked off of me and the darkness in the room was suddenly taken over by the light.
"Time to get up." Ranger yelled, my eyes peeked up at him- already dressed and ready to go. I looked at my phone, 5:30 in the morning.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah seriously, the sooner we get on the road the sooner we'll be back in Trenton." And the sooner he would be back to his woman.
"Fine I'm up." I got out of bed and as he left I changed into the yoga pants and tank top I had set out for today. I planned to let the air conditioning in my car be on full blast- because nothing was worse then being hot and sticky in a car. I woke Aly up a little nicer than I was woken up. While she was half asleep I changed her into the sweatpants and tank top I had picked out for her. Once I was done I called Mandy's cell phone, and by the 5th ring she picked up.
"You better be dying." She said half asleep.
"Worse- I'm leaving."
"I'll be right down."
I met her in front of the house and we held each other in a tight hug, not holding back the tears.
"Aly honey, why don't you go in and say bye to the kids- they're all in their beds."
"Okay." She said heading inside to say her goodbye.
"I love you, Stephanie Plum and I am going to miss you so Goddamn much." She sobbed into me.
"I love you too, but we'll talk everyday and we promise to come visit."
"You better." She looked at Ranger. "If you let anything happen to this girl, I will hunt you down- you hear me." I could hear him chuckle.
"I promise nothing will happen to either of them, they're safe with me." Aly came back out and gave Mandy a final hug goodbye.
Then we all loaded into the car- Ranger was going to do the driving first, and as we pulled away I turned and watched the image of my Mandy and my home shrinking in the distance. Until I could no longer see them- then I turned back around to face the front, and stared forward- looking towards my destination.
A/N: Okay I hope this chapter wasn't boring, it was just some last pieces I had to tie up before they could go home. But next chapter, we'll be back in New Jersey. Tell me what you think!