Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious

Cat's P.o.V

What! SHIT! Why didn't he say something sooner. I have acted all wrong.

"Do you want a hug?" I ask, I know he didn't before but now maybe he might.

"No"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No"

"Want some candy?" I ask reaching into my bra. Whenever I'm sad candy always brings a smile to my face.

A weak smile forms on his lips, but doesn't reach his eyes. "No. Thank you Cat."

Ok, what I need now is a way to distract Robbie. My eyes fall on his TV and an idea strikes me. A film is always a good distraction. Plus if he really wants he can space out. I do it all the time during a film, there never seems to be enough randomness in a film to entertain me so I make up my own.

"What about a film?"

"Sure" he replies, looking at me with a look signalling inner turmoil.

I walk over to his film collection. Taking care to select a film that wouldn't remind Robbie of his current situation. I pick one of the few films that keep my interest. But I know that my mind will be elsewhere throughout the entire film.

During the film I keep looking at Robbie trying to work out what is going on in his head. It's not easy all I see when I look at him is a dead look in his eyes. Whatever is going on in that head I'll have to wait until he tells me to find out what it is. In an effort to show him that I was still there for him if he needs me, I reach out and grab his hand. I still feel the joy of being close to the one person who has never judged me.

When the film finishes our hands remain entwined for a few minutes, until Robbie quickly snatches it away. I quickly turn to face him waiting for an explanation to present itself. He takes in a deep breath as if preparing himself for a tough task.

"I think it's best if you leave Cat," he tells me, not daring to meet my eyes but instead focuses on some unknown point.

"What? Robbie you're not thinking straight. You just lost your parents." I say quickly, trying desperately to catch on to his train of thought. Why would he say this, only seconds ago we were holding hands. I know it wasn't in a romantic way but still, to blind side me like this.

"And that is why I need you to leave," he continues.

Ok now I can't even be bothered to try and follow his thought path. I mean surely, me, bubbly Cat is the best person for Robbie now. Aren't I the only one to come and find him? Am I not trying to keep him distracted? Do I not deserve an explanation?

"What's that suppose to mean?" I ask. Normally I screech this but now I just want a serious answer.

"Listen, Cat, I'm barely holding it together right now. I know sooner or later I will break and hurt the people that are closest to me and I can't let that be you. I f I lose you then I know there will never be any way back."

" But now that you've told me I know you won't mean it." I explain, trying my hardest to hold onto Robbie. If I let him go I will never forgive myself.

"Cat, don't kid yourself. I know you better than any person. If I wanted I could break you so that you would never want to feel again. That I never want to be responsible for."

"But we are friends!" I sob at Robbie.

It all gets too much for me. Why would Robbie say that he could hurt me. Out of everyone he is the only one that I thought would never even think about hurting me. I run out of his bedroom and dive into the bathroom locking the door behind me. I start bawling my eyes out.

Robbie's P.o.V

Damn! That wasn't meant to happen. I know it didn't sound good but she needs to hear this. Not just so I can keep my sanity but so she knows why I will act the way I will towards her. I move to the bathroom door a sit down beside it. I hear a soft sobbing coming from the other side. This is the exact pain I can't deal with right now, but my brain is telling me it'll be a million times worse if I don't follow through.

"Cat I'm going to explain what is going on in my head now," I explain, not sure if she'll listen but I have to try. "The reason I can't let you be near me is because I like you, not simple as friends, but something more. I'm not sure that I would call it love, but it's too damn close for me to want to feel it now."

I hear the sobs from the other side of the door soften. I hope she will let me finish, this may hurt her but in the long run I know it'll save her. I let a solitary tear roll down my face, the pain becoming all too real for me.

"The only people I love were taken from me. That love, which once made me happy, instantly turned into the greatest source of pain I have ever felt. If I let love back in right now all it will cause is more pain on top of what I already feel. I know I'm not strong enough to cope with that."

I hear a click come from the door. Cat pokes hear head between the crack of the door, that is now slightly ajar. "Do you want a jelly baby?" she says sniffing from her recent crying fit.

"Sure," I reply, "I find sweets feed the soul." She giggles at that, but I am surprised when she closes the door. But as I hear running water I understand that she is just freshening herself up.

I return to my room waiting for her to return. As she re-enters the room a great roar of thunder sounds causing her to rush straight into my arms. As she clings close to me, I look out the window to see the storm has broken at full force. I peer down at the clearly petrified Cat. My eyes fall on my clock to reveal that it is half past midnight.

"Cat," I whisper, causing her to look at me. "It's late and I don't want you going out in this storm it's dangerous. I think it would be best if you stay tonight and go home tomorrow."

One last night of self inflicted pain before I harden my heart for good. I see Cat in deep thought. Most people would think this doesn't happen a lot, but I know this is what she's like most of the time. What people believe are random thoughts are really, links she makes that have true meaning only to her.

"KK," she cheerily sings, pulling out her phone to call her parents.

"I'll sleep on the couch you can have my bed. It's more comfortable. Plus I won't sleep tonight!"I offer.

"Robbie!" She says hurt, "at least promise me you'll try!"

"I'll try for you, but my brain probably won't let me. So don't get mad if I fail to sleep." I say truthfully.