Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious

Robbie's P.o.V

Why? Why did she have to involve them? I understand that she wants to help, but now with these guys around I have no hope of finding out who I am. Ah well I suppose that I don't really want to think of that now. First I need to remove these memories, and then I can begin to start my life over.

I walk back to the kitchen, to pick up the box I left on the counter. I walk to the living room finding all the gang huddled together. They are talking in hushed whispers until they see me. Then Tori breaks from the group and gives me a hug. I tense at the contact. This is not what I want, I don't need their sympathy. I just need to hide the memories.

"I'm so sorry Robbie, we had no idea." Tori says, breaking the contact, probably because she could feel that I was tense.

"No need to be sorry, there wasn't anything you could do," I explain, looking into her eyes and seeing true concern. Damn it this is not what I need. I know I will end up hurting them. I just can't let them truly help me, they would have too much power over me if I did.

"So where do you want us to start?" Andre asks clearly uncomfortable and not sure how to deal with the situation he was in.

"Just grab any picture with my parents in a throw it in the box here," I say, throwing the box on the floor.

The gang all decide to break off into small groups and start searching the house for pictures. I wander off by myself, not trusting myself to talk to anyone at this time. I know that this is the time that I'm most likely to snap and hurt my friends.

I walk into the dining room and am immediately met by the large faces of my parents and me in the large family portrait. We did it annually, it was a way to celebrate that we were still together. Damn today was going to be hard. I reach up and take down the picture and make my way to the living room.

I was about to put the picture in when I look down and see the pictures my friends have already put in. At each smiling face that stares up at me memories floods back to me. I drop the picture I am holding in the box and collapse on the couch. I let the tears that had collected in my eyes to fall.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and look up to see Tori staring down at me.

"Please don't touch me, " I ask, not wanting anyone to be here now. I don't want anyone to see me at my weakest scared that they would cause me more pain. She removes her hand and I see all the others around me.

"Dude we got all the pictures," Beck says, explain their presence back in the room.

"There is only that picture left next to you" Cat reminds me.

That picture. That is the reason I'm here right now. That is where all this pain and hurt comes from. I grab the picture and throw it at the floor. The frame smashes sending glass everywhere. Beck bends down and picks something up from the wreckage. At first I think it is the picture, but then he hands me an envelope.

I take it from his hand and proceed to open it. On the front it has the name Sarah written in my father's writing. I slowly pull out the letter and begin to read it.

Jade's P.o.V

I watch the look on Robbie's face change from one of pained distance to one of pure anger. I decide when I see this to leave the room knowing what would happen next. Sure enough not 5 seconds after I had left the room than I hear Robbie explode.

"OUT! GET OUT NOW! GO!" Robbie bellows at the others

"What? What is it Robbie?" Cat pleads of him. It is painful hearing the desperation in her voice.

"I SAID OUT! NOW!" And with that the front door is slammed.

I remain hidden for a time to allow Robbie to cool off. I know he needs help but he has to want it first, or at least be prepared to listen. After a few minutes I hear a quiet sobbing coming from the living room. I slowly begin to venture forth weary that if he hears me it could cause him to turn angry again.

As I poke my head around the door, I see Robbie clutching the letter and allowing his tears to fall freely. It pains me to see him like this. I know I enjoy pain, but when it destroys lives it isn't so fun.

"Robbie," I say announcing my presence to him. It may as well be now. From what I can tell he won't stop crying anytime soon. So it'll be better to intervene.

As he hears me call his name, he turns his face away from me. He is hiding his face to cover up his pain. I know why he does it, but he doesn't understand yet that I know his pain better than any other.

"I thought I told you to leave!" he sneers at me.

"You did, but I knew you'd need someone to talk to," I explain, "Or at least a good talking to."

"What do you mean?" he asks looking at me, revealing that his eyes are raw red from the crying.

"I mean that if you treat everyone like this you'll lose us." I explain, "Look Robbie I know your pain, or at least part of it. I lost my mum when I was younger. I know it doesn't compare to losing both parents, but it tore a hole in my heart that still isn't mended."

Robbie lifts his hand as if to comfort me, but decides against it a replaces his hand in his lap. I know that he still doesn't understand what I am trying to say.

"Look, the only reason that I am still going is because of my friends. Don't get me wrong my family were great, but they had their own problems to deal with. I know you think I'm not a good friend what with the striking out by insulting you all. I'm doing what you are now. Let me tell you it's a lonely road, your friends change the way they act."

"I thought you said your friends helped you through it," Robbie says clearly confused at my explanation.

"They did. I never told them, any of you, about my mum. So none of you knew why I acted this way, but you stuck with me. I didn't understand why at first but then I realised that it was because you guys truly care for me. But Robbie I have to warn you, you are acting worse than me, we're not going to stay around if you keep pushing."

"Thanks for the pep talk Jade but you don't know the whole situation." He says, handing me the letter.

The letter read:

Dear Sarah,

This wasn't meant to happen. We knew that we were dying. We should never have let this happen. We were never supposed to bring a child into this world. I'm not strong enough to bring a child up just to die on him or her. I need so time to think. I will always love you

Mike

"They knew they were dying when they had you!" I exclaim, taken aback by this unexpected revelation.