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Nothing is mine except for my OCs. Enjoy the chapter!
Chapter #46: The lioness, The Eagle, and The Cub
"I could take every word she said, throw it in her face
Would she even care?
I still remember when she looked on me, frown upon her face
trying to be sincere
I gathered all those little things she said, kept them close to me
tried to make this real
This cloud will always hover over me, leaving you today
Because now I see
Suffocate, you suffocate
That you lie (I don't lie)
That your fake (I'm not a freak)
Suffocate, you suffocate
You always take (I don't take)
What you can (what I can)
I could always take whatever fucking game you play and blow it all away
would you even care?
I could take all those things you said to me, never go away
never disappear
This cloud will always hover over me, leaving you today
Because now I see
Suffocate, you suffocate
That you lie (I don't lie)
That your fake (I'm not a freak)
Suffocate, you suffocate
You always take (I don't take)
What you can (what I can)
Suffocate, you suffocate
That you lie (I don't lie)
That your fake (I'm not a freak)
Suffocate, you suffocate
You always take (I don't take)
What you can (what I can)
Now I'm far away from you (You're always far away)
I'll never bring back yesterday (bring back yesterday)
You're such a fake it's true
I can't believe the words you say
I'm far away from you
I'll never bring back yesterday
Suffocate, you suffocate
That you lie (I don't lie)
That your fake (I'm not a freak)
Suffocate, you suffocate
You always take (I don't take)
What you can (what I can)
I always what I can"
~"Suffocate" by Cold
1566, July
Spain, Alcázar Palace:
Ligo was glad that he was back with his real parents and not those mad people that called themselves his parents, as far as he knew it their relation went no further than the fact he shared their blood. As far as he was concerned they were not his real parents and he could very well be adopted because he was nothing like them.
He settled himself in the chair, facing his true parents, his grandfather and his step-grandmother, Queen Ana.
He sighed in relief when the doors of their chambers closed down on them allowing them some privacy. "How was your trip? Were the chambers of your parents' liking?" Annie asked with some contempt in her voice. She still resented that her half-sister refused to show her the respect she owed to her as Queen.
Felipe Diego could see it and nodded his head. "However" he said "My father thinks they are too small and there are not enough chairs for my lady mother's guests"
"Guests?" Asked Philip somewhat enraged. How more money were they going to spend for this woman? "I told your father exclusively she is not to have any late night after parties"
"My lord father nods to whatever my mother says and my mother does what she wants" Ligo said numbly. He was tired of baring his father's presence. His mother was sweeter but at any opportunity she would use it to her advantage to try and get him to tell the truth of whatever transpired between the King and Queen. And she was never satisfied with his answers.
It was like living in a mad house only the mad people were in charge. He remembered his sister Catalina, her full name Catalina Michaela –a regal name for a regal daughter, his mother had boasted- and what she said about their siblings. Perhaps he was wrong and she right, and so he asked the King: "May I ask Your Majesties for one especial request?"
The King who was rarely surprised since he almost never asked for anything, raised an eyebrow.
"Depends on what the request is" Philip finally said sipping from his tea, it was one of many customs where he showed how he was more influenced by Portuguese culture than Spanish. Annie had not yet gotten used to this, she drank all her meals with wine more than he.
"I wish to have Doña Catalina Michaela be brought up in the same household as the Infantas and with us if that is not too much to ask and if there are not any rooms to spare, she can sleep in my room or Isabel's, I am sure she would like the company"
Annie twisted her mouth, she pressed her lips hard. She wasn't sure this was a good idea, and she looked at Philip, he gave her the same look and then turned to Ligo.
"The answer is no" He said swiftly without giving a second thought.
Ligo did not back down. "Your Majesties it would make me very happy, consider it my birthday present, in fact I would like it more than any celebration or presents for this Christmas. Doña Catalina is after all my sister" he said in a matter of fact way "and she is not under the influence of the Princess of Asturias as my other siblings. She is loyal, a true devout Catholic and what's more she always shows respect to both Your Majesties" He said emphasizing on the 'both'.
Annie pondered on her step grandson and nephew's words, Ligo knew how to turn around a subject, in that he was his grandfather's son, but his eyes always held the mischief and secret planning that his mother's eyes had.
No matter how many charges Philip had thrown at his son and her petty little wife, it never worked and Philip always ended up being accused of being envious and wanting to strip away his son's power and right of inheritance, same as he had done to the Dutch nobles, by their main leader the Prince of Orange who was also the leader of their revolt.
"Ligo your sister has been found several times at odds with my ladies, you said so yourself and complained about her behavior against your person too my love" She offered nicely, but no matter how she nicely she put it, Ligo could see her distaste for his mother even in her children, save for him of course.
Ligo gave a long sigh and looked directly at the Queen. "Your Majesty I have never been this demanding of you, please Aunt, I only want Catalina to have the same benefits as I have."
"Her mother Ligo is a schemer just as her father who is nothing more than a mere puppet of hers" Philip intervened clearing his throat, he put his goblet down having drank all his tea and proposed: "I would not have Catalina anywhere near my daughters but if you wish she can be in your private chambers with you during the duration of your parents and your family's stay with us"
"But grandfather-" Philip held his hand up, it was the end of the argument. Ligo held his gaze down, and said with a nod "Yes Your Majesty, thank you"
After they finished their dinner they returned to their respective chambers. His siblings were indisposed as Philip and Annie wanted them to spend as much time with each other before they left for their respective states. It would hurt Annie as she could not imagine being away from her children long enough, but she knew it was necessary for they were Princes and someday they would grow up to be Kings, Queens, or Dukes of powerful neighboring kingdoms.
Annie seeing her nephew's look of discomfort put her arm around him and walked him to his chambers, with her ladies following their trail.
"I am sorry, if you want me I can speak to your grandfather."
Ligo looked at her in surprise. Annie chuckled. "I know what you are thinking. Why would I grant you this request when I hate your mother?" Ligo nodded "Me and Katherine never had a chance to know each other, we barely saw each other when we were in England. Our mother, your grandmother I am sure you've heard of her"
"A little"
"She was a strong woman, remarkable woman in many aspects but …"Annie paused, thinking her next words carefully. "… she was highly ambitious but she raised all her children well, even when I was not, I inherited her short temper and her ambitions but I am digressing. She raised and educated your mother as befitted a Princess and she thrust on her shoulders all the hopes of restoring our grandmother's name after my brother, Henry, died. I know she is not evil, not truly. But years of being nurturing by wolves have squashed what is left of her good nature. Until today before I saw your siblings I was unsure if her good nature had been inherited by someone other than you, but after seeing how Catalina follows you around and how you spoke of her, I am convinced"
"So you will convince my grandfather?" Asked Ligo, he could not hide the desperation in his voice.
"I will do my best, nothing more" Annie said. Now at their chambers, Ligo launched himself on Annie and squeezed her very hard. "Thank you, thank you, I promise I will never ask for anything else-"
Annie pushed him away, she nearly lost her balance, she had to wrap her arm against his again. "Oh I am sorry" Ligo said but Annie saw his excitement.
She kissed both his cheeks and bid him good night. "Be on your best behavior tomorrow my love, we don't want to give him any reason to reject your offer" She said before she and her ladies left. Ligo nodded impatiently. He could not wait to tell Catalina the news. She had begged their parents to come with them after they grounded her for talking back to them, now she would never have to suffer their wrath ever again, he and his grandfather would make sure of it.
He went to bed with a smile on his face knowing he had done something good.
August 1st
England, London: Whitehall
Jane watched with jealousy as Anthony's bride walked to the altar, her hand twined around her father's arm who had come all the way from Frankfurt to see his favorite daughter wed. The relations between the Empire and England were finally improving and Anthony like Isaac had been the sacrificial lamb to this final proof of the English's good will.
He felt he was about to be sacrificed, and wasn't that what he was about to do? Didn't he think that many times before? He looked straight into the crucifix. Whitehall retained some of the old Church's aspects before his grandfather had stripped it and other churches of its wealth and lively imagery. Anthony knelt before the Bishop as he prepared to receive the sacrament of communion. He never once looked at Anna. In his mind she was hideous, and no matter what beauty they brought to him, she wold always remain hideous.
Nothing else mattered anymore.
The consummation was done. It was said, Jane heard, that their screams could be heard from the outer chamber where guards and the Archbishop of Canterbury were placed, for confirmation that it happened. It certainly did, Anthony left no room for doubts.
Jane cried with her hands hugging her knees to her chest. She was supposed to be his wife, now because of her mouth he had wed that horrid Spanish-Austrian half-breed pig! She bet that she would never please him, she heard the worst from Ana of Austria. That she had rebelled against her father's command to marry this English boy. She called him a nobody, she screamed when her mother dragged her by her hair and tanned her hind like a little girl, willing her to obey.
In that, Jane felt for her. But that was as far as her compassion for Ana went. In her mind when she saw her, she saw her bringing the Counter Reformation into England, she saw the fires of hell forming around her head, the sun giving a fake impression of a halo. There was nothing saintly about her.
Jane was among the Princess Margaret's ladies when she was brought to Court. There their eyes met briefly, for an instant she thought that Ana had sent her a warning, a declaration of war if she came between her and Anthony.
"Do you love him?" She wanted to ask her but she dared not to, she had risked her family's honor enough. She kept walking at the head of the Princess Margaret's ladies. The head of her household was indisposed so she had been left in charge. It felt like an honor at the time now the responsibility weighed great on her shoulders as she heard the little Austrian pig's howls of laughter.
God, even in laughter she sounds pathetic and the way her mouth widened when she did, Jane momentarily turned to see, made her look even more uglier.
"Lady Jane why are we stopping?" Jane turned to the Princess Margaret. The Princess was demanding a quick explanation and she wanted to continue her progress, she wanted to outshine in her brother's court and be the novelty again, especially since her grand uncle the new Duke of Sicily had wed the daughter of Maximilian II. "I want to reach the High table before my brother, His Majesty, does" She said imperiously.
"Yes Your Majesty" Jane nodded and continued with the Princess' progress, only a select few joined her when they stepped on the dais and sat next to Anthony and his wife.
Anthony. She sent him a furtive glance, he looked away without a glance in return. He was ashamed of her. Lady Dudley as she was called, she was no longer in his grasp. And he had remembered his promise when he married Ana, that he would keep no mistresses.
"Who is she? This Lady Dudley?"
"You just said her name" Tony said, smiling in return, very forcefully. Ana expected no less, she intended to be a good wife, whether they liked each other or not. The important thing -her mother had said -was to give a man sons. Love in a marriage was of no importance, it was a business contract, and it would be sealed when she gave Anthony a son. Love would come after that.
Love did not come however that night when Tony and Ana were changed to their nightgowns for bedding. Anthony made it clear what their relationship was all about "Listen to me very careful and let me make this clear, I am not your minister, your father, your friend, I am your husband nothing more. Our duties are simple. After you give me a child, any child you can do what you like, cheat, drink, play, indulge in what other vices you want, I don't care, in the meantime we are bound together by law"
"You are my husband" She simply said, taken aback.
"Let me make this even more clear to you just so you know that I am not all about pleasure and business and that I do have a heart, you were not my first choice of bride, neither was I your first choice of groom. If I had a heart to give it would be to Lady Dudley not you."
"How can you say that?"
"I can because I have the power to say whatever I want when we were bound before God and all his cheeky angels in the altar at Whitehall chapel. Other than our required duties, we have nothing to bind our hearts together. This relationship is -"
"Is sacred in the eyes of God, the Lord Jesus Christ" She said passionately.
"No my dear, it is in your eyes of your saints, your God. What we shared last night was not one bed but two beds and I do not intend to share it again" He said in a tone that left no more room for conversation and then turned his back on her.
Ana tried to coax him sweet-speaking in his ear and kissing his cheek but he pushed her away and covered himself completely leaving nothing to cover herself with in the dead of night. There was a fireplace in their outer chamber but the fire had long died out and the windows although not opened, she could feel the cold seeping through, and her heart ached for her mother and the family she left behind.
"Anthony" She decided to try out on more time pulling the covers but he held on to them tightly. She began crying. It was that Dudley woman. She wondered if Anthony had known her carnally as he knew half the women in England?
1567, March 21st
Holy Roman Empire, Frankfurt: Imperial Court
María heard from her daughter's reply that she was fine and had started her confinement. She asked if relations with her husband were suitable enough; to which she replied they were. María could spot a lie when she saw one, and her daughter was lying, she could tell by the way of her shaky handwriting. She prayed for her daughter constantly and wished that she could be with her by her side, giving her advice but what more could a mother do?
Her daughter had to grow on her own. They had let Ana be pampered and be raised by nuns all her life, the nunnery had certainly left its mark. When she came out and had been told of her betrothal she had gone white as if she'd seen a ghost, and later screamed saying how it was sacrilege and she would never forsake her soul by marrying a heretic who would force her on their marriage bed to convert. María had assured her no such thing would occur, she herself had been visited by this young man many times, and he seemed like a reasonable man. The kind of man she and Maximilian envisioned Ana would marry one day.
Her only complaint was the man's pedigree, he did not possess enough Royal blood, but he came from a good family and was highly influential in England. At one point there had been talks for his grandfather to nominate him his heir if Prince Edward suddenly died, above his eldest daughter's -Mary's heir, Henry.
Ana could not have fared better in Tudor England. Under their Lord Protector, Tudor England had become a reasonable country to deal with. It no longer had the stigma it had before when the overtly Protestant King, Edward VI, had been in power. Yet, she knew the dangers of having a boy King tutored by moderates and staunchly Reformists as an ally. One day he could turn against them. She warned Maximilian of this as she had when he made peace with Germanic states, despite their heretical practices.
Her husband was a fool, but a fool she loved very dear. She set her letter to rest on the stool and picked her youngest son, Wenceslaus, and placed him on her lap.
Immediately he asked about his older sister. "When can I see Ana?"
As the youngest he was deeply devoted to his younger sisters but looked up to Ana.
"Never" María said. She was always straightforward with all her children, however she didn't lack a mother's touch and so she added; "But if God is merciful one day we will all meet in heaven and you will never have to ask for her again"
Her son nodded, his eyes were small and asked very little. Like the majority of his male siblings, he would soon go to the Spanish court to be educated by his uncle and his Queen along with the Infantes. He looked forward to it. Being the youngest, Ana had told him there was no need to despair and that it left him greater opportunities to pursue his dreams to be a friar and devote his life to God. He would do just that. He remembered the prayers his sister taught him that she'd learned in the nunnery.
"How is she doing?" He asked knowing he would get no further answer from his mother.
"She is doing well and is expecting her first child"
Her half smile left much room for questioning. Wenceslaus remembered how his sister had cried and locked herself in her room, refusing to eat for days or speak to anyone, including him when they tried to get her into the boat that would carry her to England.
He could scarcely remember this Viscount Rochford, now Duke of Sicily, but he hoped he was treating his sister alright, she deserved it. She was a Hapsburg and the best sister a brother could wish for and the Anglo-Imperial alliance depended on it.
December 25th
England, Essex: Palace of Beaulieu
As soon as Anthony saw her he sped out of the room without saying a word.
"Anthony I am so sorry" Anthony did not even get to hear. Ana stared down at her daughter with the same furtive glance he'd been given (unknowingly to her) by Jane. The girl was silent and did not move much, she was light as a feather but the doctors assured her that was alright and that she had a healthy color. "In time she will grow Your Grace"
Ana nodded numbly looking down and locking eyes with her daughter, blue met dark brown. They were the eyes the Boleyn family. Ana was happy that was as far as the Boleyn looks got.
Her mother in law entered the room. She didn't like the chit anymore than her son did, but she paid her homage because of who her family was. And now she came to see her granddaughter, she was excited. It was a beautiful way to celebrate Christmas, her daughter was eager to see her niece. She was excited as she, more so now that she was an Aunt. "Does this mean I get to be an adult now?" She'd asked, Bess and Eustace laughed and shook their heads. "You can be a child and an Aunt at the same time, just remember to take your responsibilities seriously. No laughing and no foul language. Alright?" Her daughter had promised she would be on her best behavior.
The only daughter in their family in a house overrun by male presence, she tended to take the worst out of her male siblings. She'd not yet been told that she was not fully alone, that once there had been a girl as playful as she who had reached for the stars and fulfilled all of her ambitions. When they spoke of Annie, she was an obscure figure in Roxanna's mind. All she knew about her was that she had been Dowager Queen of England and was now the Queen of Spain.
Bess and Eustace were prepared to tell her the truth when Annie came to visit her children and pay her respects to her eldest son, William, next summer. They were anxious to see her again, especially Eustace.
"Your Grace" They both saluted curtseying for the Duchess of Sicily and her new babe. Bess walked to Ana's bedside and nicely asked for her permission to carry the babe.
"She must be very beautiful after all Anthony is the handsomest man in Court" Roxy offered.
Ana ignored her sister in law's comment and looked at Bess Chapuys with callous eyes. Now that she was no longer the Duchess of Sicily, she wondered if she felt any resentment and missed being called 'Your Grace'. Her tone was called when she'd addressed her.
Naturally Ana returned the favor, her kind eyes disguising her equal and strong dislike for Bess Chapuys. "Of course My Lady. Just be careful with her, she is very small for a babe I am sadly told"
"Nonsense" Bess said when she had the child in her arms "All babies are small. What do those men know besides giving false predictions? When I birthed Anthony he was just as small, and he grew to be a very fine man, same with Roxy" She looked down at her daughter "You were very small dear"
Roxy smiled. It puzzled Ana how could someone as strict, cold, and with strong sarcasm as Bess could have sired a lively child.
Roxanna was so happy she got to see her brother in action for the Christmas celebrations, the King had graced them with his presence at the time her sister in law had gone to labor. He and the Archbishop Cranmer offered a prayer for Ana's soul and that of her child. The King would be made godfather of course and she ... Oh she hoped she would be one of the godmothers to her little niece. She longed to have another female presence, someone to teach her how to dance, ran, mount and better yet, someone to share her passion for swords and lances, and armor with. She doubted looking at Ana's braided hair and pink ribbons she would ever get the chance with her sister in law present, but she had ways to get around with her brother. He was the one who encouraged her love for poetry, debate, grammar and of course fencing, much to their mother's dismay.
The house had been done great service since Anthony moved. From its previous owners, one of which had been her uncle, George Boleyn, Anthony was the one who added more wings and luxury to this great house. Now the King was here with them. They turned and bowed a deep curtsey, Ana tried standing up but she failed wincing in pain as she did so.
The King halted them and bid everyone to rise, even Ana whose head was bowed down. "Please don't be so modest Your Grace, I came to see my cousin, I promised my mother and the Lord Protector promised my stepfather that we would send word of your child's health" He explained.
They all noticed the omission and harshness rising in his voice when he mentioned his Lord Protector and his promise to the King of Spain. It was clear who his tutors were and that his policies once he was King would be different from his grandfather's. All his life he'd been told what to do, and you could only cage the beast so far. Ana observed as the boy King neared her bedside.
William III as Anthony only gave his cousin one brief look before bidding them farewell, before he left he blew one kiss to his Aunt and then ran to kiss his little Aunt. Roxy giggled, she promised she wouldn't, but it felt really good being the center of attention. And she couldn't help but compare in these moments that William behaved so gaily, with his sister Margaret who was the complete opposite. Vain, sour, and incredibly arrogant, even for English standards.
"Mua" William blew more kisses at Roxy and ran out the door with his large army of servants trailing behind him, including his chaplain John Whitgift who'd was a staunch moralist and believed in a stronger authority over the King as head of the Church of England over the people, everyone including the unhappy dissidents, puritans and other minorities. Ana frowned when the man gave a long, hard, calculating gaze. She could feel the eyes of the devil on her. This was the kind of men in charge of the King's education. This was the kind of men the King would turn to. She gave a sigh when they finally left the room.
Bess unknown to her, shared her concern. She did not trust that man entirely. They both hated the puritans with a passion but Whitgift's hatred was more dangerous for he not believed they were fighting rebels, he believed this was a new holy war. Naturally she had not told Eustace. As Lord Protector he would have taken Whitgift from his grandson's service and therefore made a potential rebel leader out of him. No, Bess had dealt with the problem swiftly by hiring new tutors for His Majesty under the excuse the others proved very inefficient. With his more open minded tutors, William would be able to counter act his chaplain's influence.
After letting the silence linger in the room, Bess turned to her daughter and law and asked what had been on everyone's mind before the King came, and her son left:
"What will her name be?"
"Anthony and I did not really discuss it"
Bess nodded, cold, hard woman that she was, she understood that Anthony had been very reluctant to form an emotional attachment. He probably feared that if he did with their offspring, it would eventually lead to forming one with her.
"You will need to then, it is not good to refer to the child merely as baby. If she is to be a Lady of the court she must have a good name" Bess stated.
Ana did not know what to say to this.
"Do you prefer English names or Spanish high born names?"
"I am not sure. Which best is suited for you or Anthony I guess, My Lady"
"I am asking you dear not Anthony. Which names would you prefer?"
Her mind was racing, she was afraid if she answered incorrectly she would incur the old woman's wrath. After a while she came to a conclusion. "Neither My Lady" Bess gave her an odd look; Ana elaborated "If it does not displease you or the Lord Protector I would wish to have the child have an Austrian name. Neither English or Spanish"
Bess smiled. It was the best course of action she could come up with, given the limited resources. A Spanish name would only incur the wrath of the old Xenophobic English nobles, an English name would have only given Spain and the Holy Roman Empire something to talk about, accusing the English of favoritism. Austrian, left both out of the equation and it made sense. After all her ancestors were Austrian and German and her brothers were all Archdukes of Austria.
Smart girl.
"And what illustrious name would you give her Your Grace?"
Roxy raised her hand, she had a good name in man. Oh pick me, pick me. Her eyes begged, she was jumping up and down in excitement.
Ana's head was still damp with beads of sweat, even the simplest talks made her nervous. She looked down on the anxious child and offered her a smile "Yes Lady Roxanna?"
Roxanna smiled widely up at her mother, her lady mother was proud and muttered a small "go on" and she looked to Ana and said: "Leopoldine after Leopold, it is an Austrian name" she explained.
Ana's eyebrows were raised, she was clearly impressed and this only added to the child's pride.
"Well Your Grace, what do you say?" Asked Roxy, sick with impatience.
Bess squeezed her daughter's hand, glaring at her. It didn't stop Roxanna. "Well?"
Finally Bess had to intervene "Roxy that is enough child. Be still" and then gave the Duchess of Sicily an apologetic look. "I am sorry for my daughter's imprudence. Roxanna say you are sorry"
Roxanna groaned but her mother's insistent look and tight grip made her comply. "Forgive my impertinence Your Grace" She said and gave a small but graceful bow avoiding Ana's gaze.
She found the act all funny. She dismissed Roxy's behavior and thanked her for helping choosing a name for her niece. "Leopoldine it is a very nice name but it is too simple, I think she needs to have a second name, perchance ... Loise after your husband's father Lady Hertford?"
"My husband will be pleased you conveyed this honor. It has a nice ring to it, Leopoldine Loise Chapuys" She said, letting the words linger in her mouth as she looked down at the sleeping child in Ana's arms.
A/N: R/R
Next chapter I promise there will be more action between the children, and Annie/Phililp smut ;), we are at a fast pace here but I will try to keep everything steady so everyone can follow this without being confused, there will be uneasy times ahead.
