Author's Note: All of you have been wondering why Joe didn't visit Stephanie… Well here is your answer darlings. Hope you like =}

However, I do need to say- in regards to some of the more negative comments… I want to thank those standing up for this story and the way I'm writing. I know everyone has their preference about how they want to see Steph end up with- but it means a great deal that everyone is able to read and enjoy this. Now, I realize not everyone feels that way- and I need to first say I love your feedback. Everytime I get an email that says I have a new review- I am smiling before I am reading it. And as a writer I love constructive criticism, what bums me out is an impossibility to please certain people. I get what it is you are wanting- but I also want you to read the story because you want to know what happens, not because you need to know I put her with the person you want.

I'm sure I am not the only one out there that is busy- especially being summer time. But I need to add, I am taking 3 courses that is taking up 95% of my time. My daughter Peyton just turned 1 and she requires a lot of time and attention too, and as much as I have always loved writing- I am writing and updating as fast as I can for you guys. So although I don't expect everyone to love everything I write- all I ask for is some respect. No one is forcing you to stay and read my story- I am honored that you are, but if you really can't stand that I won't reveal my entire plan than just check back when it's complete. It makes it a lot harder to get myself to miss out on sleeping time, playing with my kid or doing class work when I have people so mad because I am not writing it "correctly."

I realize not all of you out there are doing this, and I greatly appreciate your amazing feedback! Know that you truly do brighten my day.

Disclaimer: You know by now what is JE's and what is mine.

OooooooOoooooOooooooOoooooooO

My first week at the new job went by pretty successfully- if I do say so myself. I was able to get a feel for my cases and sat in during some of the interviewing of others. Everyone was beyond helpful to me- I wasn't sure if it was because they truly had missed me- or if I was just the attractive new girl on the job. Everyday at lunch Joe went to my parent's house and played with Aly, a couple times he brought her out to lunch. I had to admit at first I was a little skeptical- I mean she was my baby. When I'd go home to pick up Aly I would occasionally stay for dinner, my mother watching everything she was saying. I still felt pretty bad for being so harsh with her, but I just couldn't take feeling like I wasn't even good enough for my own mother. Suzanne and I were becoming even closer, we text each other all the time and as much as I missed Mandy- it was nice to have someone else to talk to. My mother asked me if she could take Aly overnight on Friday since she was going to have Valerie's kids over too. The first person I called when I found out I had a Friday night to myself was Suzanne. But she had been sick all week and was still no better, I offered to go over and hang out with her but she said it was bad.

I called Ranger multiple times and when I didn't hear back I called Lester and was told that Ranger was called away last minute on a job. He was in an area with no cell phone service- but would be back soon. I wanted to believe that. At work on Friday Joe asked me if I could come over before picking up Aly because there was something he wanted to show me. I told him to just call me when he got home since I had dropped Aly off with an overnight bag already. I left work at 5 and text Suzanne.

Me: Feeling any better yet?

Suzanne: I really didn't think it was possible to puke so much. There can't possibly be anything else still in my body.

Me: Are you preggers?

Okay, so I knew she wasn't but everyday I asked her- just because it was fun, and I was mean… in a nice way.

Suzanne: Real funny, Steph.

Me: Any chance you'll have puked up everything by tonight and feel good enough to go out?

Suzanne: Doubt it hun, but keep me posted on what you're doing. At least then I can feel like I'm enjoying my night.

Before I had a chance to respond I saw Joe was calling my phone.

"Hey." I answered casually.

"Can you come over now? I'm just on my way there, I'm supposed to be on call waiting for a lead on this guy. So I'm not sure how much time I'll have."

"Yeah, I'll head over."

"Alright, see you in a bit." I hung up my phone and tried to keep my hyperventilating to a minimum. Before I got to Joe's house though I had to tell someone where I was going.

Me: Well right now I am on my way to Joe's because he has something he wants to show me, apparently.

Suzanne: Okay, you need to call me the minute you leave.

Me: Deal.

I typed before putting my phone into my purse and stepping out of my car in front of Joe's house.

Although I had seen and talked to him a ton since I moved home- I still hadn't come here. It wasn't just the thought of being alone in a house with Joe that scared me- it was the memories I left behind. This had been my home too, if only temporarily, and as I walked up to his door I could feel the house yelling at me for leaving without saying goodbye. I pushed all emotions aside, I would see whatever it was he had to show me and then leave. I'd go get a 6 pack of beer, rent a movie, get a bunch snacks and have a night in to myself. I reached the door and before knocking I knew it wasn't simply that easy. There were things I needed to know, a reason I felt I deserved- but most of all it was killing me not to know. No! Not right now Steph, you are not going to get into these things and have it put you in a sour mood for your weekend. I swallowed back all emotions and knocked on the door. I could tell from Bob's bark that he was out back, and a few beats later Joe appeared.

He was dressed in his typical, perfect fitting jeans, nice shirt and a smile that I couldn't resist smiling back at.

"Thanks for coming, I put Bob out back. I figured it'd be easier then having him jump on you for about an hour."

"I appreciate that." He smiled and started heading for the stairs. Nothing about this place had changed, the living room was still set up the same way and still had the same feel as I stepped into it. This room had been like a time capsule holding my last memories here, carrying Joe's pillow out- little Aly in my belly, and tears streaking down my face.

"This way." Joe said, and he began heading upstairs. I followed, but not without caution, I knew upstairs was where the bedrooms were. We reached the hallway with all of the doors to the bedrooms, I carefully eyed his closed bedroom door. Sure I made sexual jokes and comments back and forth with Joe quite a bit recently but I wasn't ready to act on any of that yet- if at all. Joe saw the fear in my eyes as I stared at his door, he smiled.

"Cupcake, I didn't call you over here for that."

"Right, I know." No I didn't, but I was glad to hear it.

"I have to show you this." He swung open the door to the guest bedroom and my mouth dropped to the floor.

This room was like a little girl's dream room. Pink walls, a white bed with a canopy that hung over top of it- just like a princess's bed would look. All around the room were things for Aly, a dresser, shelves loaded with books and games. Even a little TV with a stack of movies next to it. This place looked amazing- I was speechless and the smell of the room told me there was no fresh paint in here. I turned to stare at him eyes wide with shock.

"When did you?"

"Before she was born- after you told me you were pregnant with a girl. Of course at first there wasn't a TV or any of these games, there was a crib there where the bed is sitting. A rocking chair, baby blankets everything a newborn would need."

"You turned this room into hers when I was living in Wisconsin?" I sat down on her bed, I could feel myself beginning to lose it. The more I looked around the room the more upset I became. There was puzzles, and books she specifically told him about, games for girls. An entire section of coloring books and just about everything one would need to color with it. Hanging framed on the wall was some of the pictures she had given to him the other day, and a couple baby pictures of her. Propped up against her pillow was a little teddy bear, I grabbed him and held him tight to my chest. I looked at him- his smile was beaming, proud to show off this place, he looked at my upset expression and completely misread it.

"Steph- this isn't for her to like move in to. But it's something for her to have whenever she comes over, a place of her own. There's some clothes in the drawers- my sisters picked a lot of that stuff out. I'm sorry if I am maybe moving too fast and you feel like I'm taking over your territory- I don't want that. And I still promise to let you decide when I can see her." I stared at him, that was what he thought. After what he told me, this is what he thought the look on my face was for.

"Why did you make this after I moved away? When I found out I was having a girl- it had been months since we talked." Joe's expression changed from proud- to serious, maybe now was the time to ask these questions.

"I didn't know what your intentions were and in case you decided to come back after Aly was born- you had some place if you needed one."

"Okay- but why didn't you change it into something else after a while. I was gone for 4 years Joe."

"I know, I did change it- as she got older I took the things I didn't think would be useful anymore. I replaced the crib with a bed on her second birthday, I added the dresser and shelves. The games and stuff I picked up over time but after spending some time with her I picked up some things I knew she liked." I put my hand over my mouth and shut my eyes tight. This man loved his daughter more than the world, even though I was gone he had never really let the thought of our family go. I couldn't hold it in anymore- I had to know.

"So why didn't you come see her, huh? If you cared enough to keep this room specifically made for her why not make the trip out to see her?" He shook his head looking from the ground and back up to me.

"It's complicated, Steph."

"Bullshit." I stood up and ran past him down the steps, I got as far as the living room before he yelled to me.

"Stephanie wait, please don't just run out." I whipped around to face him, the hot sting of angry tears threatening to slide down my cheeks.

"Why didn't you come after me? You just let us go." And there it was- the question I had wondered about since the moment I got to Wisconsin. For a man that loved me, he sure as hell never showed it.

"Stephanie after you left I was so angry. I hated you, I wanted to forget all about you. For about the first month I was so mad but I pretended it didn't affect me. Like it didn't matter to me that you weren't here when I came home, but one night I was washing my dishes in the sink and looked up- I don't know how I missed it all the other times. But sitting in front of me was one of the post it notes you used to leave me all it said was, I love you, but that was enough. I grabbed the dish I had been scrubbing and threw it across the room letting it shatter to the floor. I sunk to my knees- and for the first time since I passed the age of 6 I cried, not even just a couple of sobs. I mean full on tears. All I kept thinking was I lost her, you were standing right in front of me and I lost you. After my meltdown and after you told me we were having a girl I wanted to come after you so bad. But I couldn't, I knew I couldn't fix this with just a couple words and make everything better. I wasn't stupid enough to think you moved to Wisconsin because of me. So slowly I began to realize things, I had fallen in love with who you were- but I was trying to turn you into something else. There is no excuse for that, but I finally started to see it. Everyday I would come home and stare at the couch where we used to lay together. I spent most of my time in the backyard with Bob, but at night was the worst. I rearranged that room a dozen times, because when I laid in there all I thought of was you, Stephanie."

The tears weren't able to stay back anymore.

"Over the years on at least 20 different occasions did I pack up a suitcase, load Bob in the car and start driving toward Wisconsin. I would get about 3 hours out of Trenton when I turned around, I couldn't do it. I kept trying to ask myself why, why couldn't I just go to you and tell you how I felt. Tell you that I needed you more than I had ever needed anything. It wasn't just about your body or the fact that you were having my child- it was because for the first time in my life I felt at home. My home was with you Steph, wherever you were- that's where I wanted to be. Because I realized when you left you didn't just take half of my DNA with you- you took half of who I was. The only part of myself that I liked, and all of that fell apart."

"Well why wouldn't you just come up for a visit, if we meant so much to you!" I yelled back.

"Because Stephanie, I couldn't come up for just a visit- there was no way I was going to be able to let you go again. It scared me because I realized everything I was doing to you, everything I was making you become. I didn't want to go there and find a way to convince you to take me back and fuck it up again! It killed me, every video you sent me of Aly you said something in them. Now I loved watching my little girl, but I would just close my eyes and listen to your voice over and over. I couldn't just march up to Wisconsin and win you back if I didn't fix myself. The pieces of who I was that I didn't like, looking back I saw how unhappy you were living here. Not that you didn't want to be with me, but it was like the fire in your eyes had been put out. I was the reason for that Stephanie- I was so afraid I would just ruin things again."

This was too much to take in, my eyes were like waterfalls now that didn't have an off switch.

"I promised myself I would never be that guy again, I would never try to change the person I was in love with. But I knew the day you left that I had lost you." I looked up at him and I could see it in his eyes- everything he told me was the truth. I always knew this was hard for me, and I always put all the blame on Joe. Now I see, it's not that he didn't care about us- he cared so much that he couldn't bear the thought of making us run again.

"You didn't lose me, Joe. I never really let you go." Another truth that I had buried deep inside praying it would never come out. Even though there was a great distance between us he crossed the room in a few steps and took my face gently in his hands and pressed his lips to mine.

In that kiss I felt every tear that had once been shed over him. I felt how much he longed for me and how much he wanted us as his family. After a few moments I kissed him back, our mouths moving as one. I never wanted to leave this moment, I wish I could just pause time and be here for as long as it took to make the ache in my heart go away. But that isn't reality- you can't pause the moments you want to experience forever, there isn't a redo button to take things back. And there wasn't a fast forward button to get you through the bad times. Joe's cell phone rang and we slowly backed apart. His hands never left my face as our eyes held on one another. The cell phone started ringing again and Joe answered with an irritation in his voice. After listening for a minute he ended the call and turned towards me once again.

"You have to go." He nodded, I turned to leave but he grabbed my arm once again pulling me in for another amazing kiss.

"I'll call you." This time I nodded, and I walked out the door got behind the wheel and drove off. I had to stop on a random street a few minutes later and let the last of my tears roll out and uncloud my vision, I called Suzanne- no answer. I assumed she was sleeping, over the past week between sleeping and vomiting she didn't have time for anything else. I wiped the tears away and headed home, when I got there I threw on a pair of sweats and curled into my couch and let myself sob.

At 10 o'clock that night my house phone rang and without looking at the caller ID I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Babe." I smiled, I had missed that single word so much.

"Hey stranger."

"Been a while."

"That's an understatement."

"I had a job to do, it was last minute."

"Yeah, Lester told me. You could have said goodbye."

"I did."

"What in the parking lot? I don't remember hearing a 'goodbye Stephanie, I'm not going to answer any of your calls but don't worry'." I heard him chuckle into the phone.

"Well I'm back now."

"So how was it?" We talked for another hour he filled me in on new Rangeman information while I filled him on new Stephanie Plum information. The night was beautiful, warm with a cool breeze so while we were talking I opened my sliding door and sat on the back steps.

"So who's on Stephanie duty tonight?"

"No one actually."

"Wow really?"

"Unfortunately yes, with me being pulled away we needed everyone working here. We are getting so many new accounts and I haven't hired anyone new yet. So at least while I was away I figured it would be okay, your car still has a tracker and you've been doing very good at staying out of trouble." I smiled into the phone and was about to come back with a witty response but I heard the sound of something breaking come from Suzanne's house. I stood up to see if I could see anything- too dark and I must have gasped into the phone because Ranger's relaxed voice was now replaced.

"Oh it's nothing, I heard something break from my neighbors house. I think I should go see if she's okay."

"Why don't you wait and I send someone out?"

"She's been really sick lately- what if she fell down and broke something and needs help."

"Stephanie please just wait." There was no way I could just sit here, what if she fell down running to the bathroom, knocked something over and was laying underneath something that was slowly crushing her to death.

"What's that I can't hear you." I said making strategic crackling noises into the phone.

"Stephanie." His voice was firm and quite terrifying, but oh well- that wasn't going to stop me.

"Sorry Ranger, I'm going through a tunnel- I have to call you back." I quickly shut off my house phone and ran next door. The back sliding door was opened a little bit, but I didn't see her in her pool or anything. I walked in and heard a few different things, rustling sounds coming from the basement, so I started heading in that direction. But a single scream of terror told me Suzanne was upstairs in her bedroom- and she wasn't alone.

My spidey senses started tingling as I ran up the stairs, grabbing one of her 5 inch high zip up boots (the only thing I could find in that moment that might hurt). I reached the hall where I could see into her room and saw a man in all black standing over her, and I knew he was choking her. I quickly ran to him, swung the heel of the boot into the side of his head making him lose his balance and fall off the side of the bed.

"Run!" Suzanne yelled to me. I turned to bolt toward the stairs, if only to draw him away from her, there was no way I could leave her now. Before I could get far he held my ankle with such strength I expected it to snap in half right there. But I wasn't down for the count just yet, I kicked my legs catching him in the chin. He once again dropped his hold and I tried to scurry away. This time he jumped on top of me wrapping his hands tightly around my neck. Not only was this man taking the breath right out of me but it was like staring into the dark. Dark clothing, hoods on, dark glasses over his eyes. I felt the stairs were only inches away from me and I did the only thing I could think of- I kicked my legs high in the air sending us both down the flight of steps. At the bottom I laid a good punch on his cheek bone, but he lifted to my feet and slammed into the wall. I fell to the ground and as he was reaching down to grab me again, the flash of headlights began to pour in through the windows. I was in too much pain to move so I laid there and watched as he took his fingers to his lips and let out an ear piercing whistle. Then in a flash he had ran toward the back door.

Moments later the front door was thrown open and a few beams from flashlights hit me. Even though the light wasn't allowing me to see any specific features of the people that had burst into the house- I knew exactly who it was. Ranger scooped me up into his arms and I wrapped my arms around his neck and I stared into his face.

"Check the house." Ranger barked and I could see a fear in his eyes- not a fear of whoever did this. There was no way Ranger would be afraid of them- the fear was seeing me once again in an unfortunate situation.

"I told you to stay put." His voice was like venom, angry and piercing. But the way he held me as close as possible to him I knew it wasn't out of anger he was saying this.

"Suzanne's upstairs."

"Lester." He barked out, and Lester ran upstairs to get Suzanne. Bobby came in and told him there was no one else in the house. We were headed outside right as the police were showing up, but Ranger didn't put me down. He gave the cops a brief description of what he knew and they ran off to do their job.

"Thank you." I whispered up to him.

"Do you have any idea how bad it would have been if something would have happened to you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself, those last words you said would never stop running through my head. What were you thinking?" He set my feet down on the ground but didn't let go of my waist.

"I just was thinking of making sure, Suzanne was okay." I quickly darted my eyes around, she was sitting in the back of an ambulance with Lester still at her side- she was safe.

"Don't do that to me again." I nodded and let my head lay on his chest, his arms pulling me in closer. A few minutes later I heard someone yelling my name, and I turned to see Joe running towards us. Ranger released me from his arms and seconds later Joe pulled me in tight to his.

"I was just getting home and I was listening to the police scanner. I heard the call go in at this address and I kept wondering why it sounded familiar. I got to the door and my phone rang- the second I did I realized it was on your street. I got here as fast as I could- what happened?"

"I heard something break at Suzanne's house and I was worried she was hurt. I went over there and there was a guy choking her. I pushed him off her and he turned to me."

"You need to get to the hospital, to make sure everything's okay."

"I don't want to ride in an ambulance."

"I'll drive you." Even though I was wrapped in Joe's arms I turned to look back at Ranger, he nodded to me.

"I need to make sure everything here is okay. We'll do a run through of your house make sure it's okay. If I don't call you tonight- that means everything's okay." I nodded to him, his eyes glanced from me to Joe then back.

"Just know you'll be safe tonight." Meaning there was no way he was going to let me go unsupervised- even if I didn't stay at my house.

"Thank you." Joe said to him, Ranger nodded then walked back towards the house.

When we were in Joe's truck he had one hand on the wheel and the other wrapped around my shoulder's holding me close.

"So how did Ranger and his guys get there so fast- does your neighbor have his security system installed?"

"No, I was on the phone with him when I heard the noise. He told me to wait but since I wasn't about to do that I pretended I was going through a tunnel and was losing reception." Joe chuckled.

"And he didn't buy it?"

"No, I thought I was pretty convincing too." He kissed the top of my forehead and we rode in silence the rest of the way.

OoooooOoooooOoooooOoooooO

Two hours later I was given some pain medications and the all clear to leave. On the drive home Joe told me they were keeping Suzanne overnight, not only had she been sick for the past week and choked tonight- but her house was now a crime scene. I had a feeling they were more keeping her in the hospital- to keep her out of her house. Joe pulled into my driveway and turned off the car and turned to face me.

"Stephanie, I'm sure you're going to not like this. But either I am staying here tonight or you're coming home with me. I will sleep on the couch downstairs at either house, but I can't just leave you alone tonight." My initial reaction was to tell him I could take care of my house and stomp inside. But to be honest- I was scared. It had been years since I had dealt with anything like that and I didn't want to be alone.

"You can stay." We got out of the car and walked inside, Joe walked carefully- taking in everything, making sure nothing seemed wrong. Even though we both knew there was no way anyone was getting past Ranger's men. When he decided it was all clear he turned to me.

"Listen Joe, I'm exhausted and I want to feel safe in my own house. You are welcome to sleep in my bed with me, but I am so not in the mood for anything sexual. So I swear to God if you even so much as comment about this I will kick your ass out and take my chances with the dude coming back for me." He smiled at me and nodded.

"Deal."

We went upstairs and crawled into bed the light was off and everything was quiet.

"Hey Steph?"

"Hmm?" I asked.

"If I put my arm around you- are you going to kick me out?" I couldn't help but smile.

"Not tonight." Moments later his strong arm laid down over my hip and he pulled me back to lay against his body. I sighed and closed my eyes- letting the exhaustion from this day all fade into a deep sleep.