There's a twist in his soul, a voiceless denial of distraction that somehow comes with a voice - Justice. Justice cannot understand that a man is more than a cause. Justice has always been nothing but the cause.
Hawke will never understand the effort it takes to love with Justice pounding the drums of war to drown the pounding of his heart. Hawke will never understand the price Justice exacted for his moments of happiness.
He – Justice or Anders or both, and it has always been both – lets the drums beat louder until they burst from the Chantry.
Price paid.