Disclaimer- Stephenie still owns the usual suspects.
I own my original characters and original story.
** This is a long one. It parallels Chapter 23 'Perjury & Sweet Dreams' and Chapter 24 'Vandalism & The Apocalypse' of V&V.
***********************************************LRM*********************************************
Chapters 23&24 - Crash And Burn
Thursday, March 11
I was on pins and needles. Today was Bella's day in court, and I wanted to be with her. It wasn't that I had any doubt that she'd win. The victory was a foregone conclusion. I just wanted to be with her to support her. And maybe a small part of me wanted to see the Ranger's face when his world crashed and burned around him.
All the pent-up aggression was getting to me, so I did some kick-boxing this morning in place of my regular work out. It had definitely helped, but I was still feeling rather anti-social.
Isabella finally called while I was in my trailer, on break, hiding from the world.
"Hey Beautiful, is the trial over already?"
"Yep. Are you on break now? Do you have a minute to talk?" Bella asked in a hurry.
"I'm in my trailer, I have to go back on set in a few. So tell me about it." I urged.
Bella sighed. "Let's just say that the Ranger and Geri Chance have had better days."
"But hey, the day may not be a total loss for Geri. She was dressed for a little disco dancing. Maybe she'll find some guy who's drunk out of his mind and get lucky." Bella said with a laugh.
My bad mood evaporated as soon as I heard that laugh, and I couldn't help but join in.
"Look, I won't keep you. I'm heading to class and I know you're going back on set. I just wanted to hear your voice, and tell you we won sweetie. I love you." She whispered.
"I love you too Beautiful. Talk to you tonight."
-LRM-
To say that the night shoot was the most grueling part of filming for this movie would be a lie. The most grueling part was happening this week and next: The simulation of the taking of a beachhead at Normandy on D-day.
Every evening I returned home exhausted, but one day closer to seeing Bella again. Hal estimated that my part of the L.A. filming would be completed sometime next week.
I'd been working my ass off in an attempt for each scene to be perfect on our first try. It wasn't always a realistic goal, but we'd already finished several scenes ahead of schedule, so I was hoping it would pay off.
Even if it only shaved a half day off of my schedule, it would be worth it.
-LRM-
"Edward" Alec shouted as he came barreling through the door to my trailer.
"What the hell Alec?" I answered, annoyed that he'd startled me.
"Sorry." He looked a little sheepish. "No sense putting this off." He said before proceeding to drop three gossip rags in front of me on the table.
"I know how you hate these, but I thought you'd probably still want to know."
"Fuck" I muttered as I read the headlines.
"Yeah" Alec agreed. "It seems that our old friend Tanya is pregnant. A so-called friend of hers leaked the information to the press."
And of course until Tanya comes forward it will be assumed that the baby is mine.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Edward and Tanya, reunited just in time for baby, while 'the other woman' licks her wounds in Seattle.
All is forgiven. Pregnant Tanya takes back repentant Edward. Are there wedding bells in the near future?
Tanya's ultimatum to Edward: give up Isabella, or never see your child!
"Oh dear God, I've got to call Bella" I tried her number and it went straight to voicemail.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
If Bella sees these she is going to freak out. I tried her number again. Still no luck.
At least this explains Tanya's behavior on Oscar night.
This pregnancy news made it impossible for me to come forward with any kind of statement denying a relationship with Tanya. I was basically at her mercy, because she's the only one the public would believe.
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
Filming continued for another couple of hours. I tried Isabella's phone every time I had a chance. She still wasn't answering.
I was beginning to have flashbacks to the horrible day she thought I'd lied to her and returned to Tanya.
There was no way I could go through that again.
On the way home I pulled at my hair so much that I was certain I'd need Rogaine before my next birthday. The sound of my phone ringing pulled me from my misery.
Bella.
"Oh my God sweetheart, where have you been?" I couldn't hide the worry in my voice.
"Relax Edward, I just forgot to charge my phone." She replied calmly.
"I guess you heard?" I asked.
"Saw the headlines while in line at the grocery store." Bella stated flatly.
I groaned. "Bella, we just can't catch a break."
"Edward, I'm starting to think that Tanya is never going to come forward. I think we need to come up with an alternate plan." She suggested.
It wasn't fair for me to allow Tanya to keep stringing things along like this. It had been well over two months since she made her promise.
"Let me talk to Jasper. Maybe we can come up with something. I don't want you to worry." I said quietly.
Bella started asking questions about her L.A. trip. I was happy to drop the Tanya subject.
"Are you really going to stay with Alice?" I asked.
"Yes Edward. She's the one who invited me, not you." Bella teased.
"Bella…you have to stay with me part of the time at least, and I'd like to take you to Laguna Beach." I pleaded.
"My boyfriend might get jealous Mr. Movie Star. He has a little bit of a temper."
"Miss Swan, let me handle your boyfriend." I answered. "I can't wait to see you again baby. It's been so long."
-LRM-
I could feel her soft warm body lying next to me. I slid closer and slipped my arms around her tiny waist, pulling her close. Her back to my front.
One hand held her to me as I gently skimmed the other one down her thigh until I reached the bottom of her chemise and slipped beneath.
My hand continued to travel upward, my fingertips ghosting across Bella's flat stomach and continuing its journey until I ever so gently touched the underside of her breast.
I'd never touched Bella's breast before, and I had no intention of stopping now. She reached up and back in order to run her fingers through my hair.
I kissed her neck and across her shoulder as I gently nudged her strap down with my chin.
Our breath was coming in pants as I kissed her shoulder. I moved the hand at her breast and gently grazed the nipple with my thumb. Bella gasped in response.
"Bella" I whispered, "I love you, I want you, say you want this too." I murmured into her ear.
"Edward, I've wanted you ever since I saw your naked ass in September Ends. I think we should hump like bunnies."
Wow that was blunt, but so Bella…
I chuckled, as I continued to run my hands over Bella's soft bare skin. She turned to face me and I placed my hand over her heart.
"Feel how quickly your heart is beating. Is that for me Bella?"
"Only for you Edward."
I slipped both straps off of Bella's shoulders, and started to peel the garment down her body.
My God she was lovely. "Bella, you're so beautiful, more beautiful than I even imagined."
I wrapped my arms around her and leaned in for a gentle kiss. The kiss soon became heated as Isabella clutched the muscles of my back. I pulled my shirt off to give her better access. Bella gently slipped her hands under my sleep pants until they rested on each of my ass cheeks.
She began to murmur "Mr. Masen"
Why would she call me that?
Suddenly Emmett burst through the door. I pulled Bella against me to cover her. "What do you think you're doing Masen?" Emmett boomed. "Trying to take advantage of my sister?" he said angrily as he got closer. "You asked for it. This is how I deal with anyone trying to hurt Bella."
And then Emmett farted. On me.
My eyes flew open only to find the flight attendant bent over me gently nudging my shoulder while calling my name.
What the fuck?
"Oh Mr. Masen, I'm glad you're awake. We're just about to land in Seattle, I need you to fasten your seat belt."
I couldn't believe it.
I never fall asleep on airplanes.
On top of that, I never had 'sex dreams'. Although if they all starred Isabella and were as pleasant as the one I'd just had, I'd wish for them every night.
Jesus, I hope I didn't talk in my sleep.
Being that this was a private plane that I'd hired for the express purpose of getting me to Seattle as quickly as possible, I was the only passenger. I studied the flight attendant for a couple of minutes. I didn't notice any strange looks aimed in my direction, therefore I felt it was safe to assume that my 'sex dream', thankfully, involved no sleep talking.
Upon reaching the apartment, I knocked on Bella's door, but there was no answer. Normally, I wouldn't dare disturb Emmett and Rosalie at this early hour, but I was desperate to find Bella.
Rose answered their door with a scowl on her face, obviously just having woken up. She tried to smile when she saw me, but it came out as a grimace. I didn't even get to ask my question before she blurted. "She's with Emmett in the fitness room." Then she closed the door in my face.
I navigated my way downstairs, locating the fitness room easily. The door was open, and I could hear voices as I approached.
"just drop it."
That sounded like Bella.
As I entered the open doorway, I spied Bella and Emmett. I was just about to speak when Emmett suddenly boomed. "BELLS! WERE YOU HAVING A SEX DREAM?"
I was startled and immediately taken back to my own dream on the airplane. I cleared my throat, trying to make my presence known.
The look on Bella's face was priceless, and I couldn't help but chuckle at her embarrassment.
"Edward!" She shouted as she ran to me. "What happened? I didn't think you'd be done for a couple more days."
"I finished my scenes late last night. I've had my bag packed for two days hoping this would happen. I hired a private plane to fly me up here early this morning." I explained.
Emmett walked over and shook my hand. "Hey Andy, how's it going?"
Andy? Knowing Emmett, there's some bizarre reason that he's chosen to call me by a different name.
"I'm very happy to see you Edward", Bella corrected her brother as she glared at him. She turned to look at me "but you look exhausted. You need to get some sleep." She grabbed my hand, leading me out of the room.
It didn't take long to fall asleep. As I started to doze, surrounded by the scent of Bella on the sheets and pillowcases, I silently wished that by some miracle, my dream from the plane would return.
It never did. Instead, a couple hours later I awoke from a restful, albeit dreamless, sleep.
Still feeling a bit tired, I opted to stay around Bella's apartment all day rather than go visit my parents.
Around midday my phone rang. I glanced at the screen before answering it and almost choked.
Tanya.
I hadn't spoken with her since the night of the Academy Awards. Just as before, she had continued to ignore my phone calls. Until today.
"Hello" I said warily.
"Hello Edward" She answered in a quiet voice. "I just called to say how sorry I am that the news of my pregnancy got out. It wasn't supposed to be made public until after I made my statement."
"And when will that be Tanya?" I tried to keep the irritation I was feeling out of my voice.
Tanya sighed. "I've been preparing what I will say, my lawyer has been advising me." She said. "Give me another week Edward."
"Another week! Tanya do you realize the hell that we, especially Bella, have been through because of you dragging your feet? Do not ask my permission to keep hurting the woman I love."
"Edward, I never meant for this to happen. I feel awful for what you and Bella have gone through." Tanya choked out. "I don't know what else to do." She was crying softly as she spoke.
I feel like an asshole for making a pregnant woman cry.
"God, Tanya, I'm sorry. Please don't cry. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just that I'm so frustrated."
Tanya sniffled. "I understand Edward, and I'm sorry too. It's just that I have my baby to think about. My lawyer stressed that I need to tell the truth without incriminating myself. The worst part is that I know the fans will hate me. It's not something I'm used to Edward." She laughed darkly.
"I'm a selfish person, but I'm working on it." She said in a low voice. "Anyway, I'll let you go."
"Alright Tanya. I'll give you the week but if something isn't done by then, I'll have to take matters into my own hands." I said quietly. "Thank you for calling."
"I understand, and you're welcome Edward. I'll keep my promise. One more week. Goodbye."
My head was spinning after that call, and I decided the only cure would be seeing my girl.
I took a cab to the University and waited outside her last class of the day.
The hostility from the students as they walked past was palpable. The only reason I could fathom for this behavior was the news about Tanya.
These people need to get a fucking life.
When Bella exited the classroom, we made a speedy trek to her car, hoping to escape the glares and nasty remarks as quickly as possible.
"Edward, this was a bad idea, you shouldn't have come here." She whispered while on our way to her car. "This is going to cause you problems."
"I don't give a shit what they do to me Bella, but I don't want anyone to mess with you. I wasn't even thinking. These people view me as Tanya's baby daddy, and now I'm here with you….good God the hostility is rolling off of them in waves."
By this time we were leaving the parking lot. A small crowd had gathered around to watch us go.
"That was scary. I don't want you going anywhere else without a bodyguard." She demanded.
"Okay, but I need to make sure you're safe too. Has anyone bothered you since the pregnancy story broke?" I asked.
"No, Edward. It's been fine." She said.
I hope that's the truth.
"Tanya finally returned my calls." I told her.
"What did she say?"
I went on to relay my conversation with Tanya, ending with Tanya's concerns about the fallout from her fans over all the lies she'd told.
"Do you think it will be bad?" Bella asked.
"I really don't know. Fans are so fickle. They can love you one moment, hate you the next, but also be very forgiving. It's a weird dynamic."
"I told her I'd give her the week. If she doesn't do anything by then Bella, Jasper's going to tip off the reporters about her and Felix's marriage. It would be easy for them to get a copy of the marriage certificate."
"I think she'll do the right thing, she's now aware that I'm not backing down." I added.
"Edward, it will be okay. Always remember that we've both lived through worse."
True
-LRM-
That night, I held Bella in my arms as sleep eluded me.
Thinking that Bella had fallen asleep, I was startled when she whispered.
"I'm sorry."
"Bella you have nothing to apologize for." I soothed.
I knew she was feeling insecure about halting my attempts to further our physical relationship. I needed to make her understand that I had no expectations where that was concerned.
We would get there when we got there, and not before Bella was ready.
Everything was quiet again when she suddenly chuckled.
I looked at her questioningly. "What?"
She cleared her throat, "Nothing, just thinking about how goofy my brother is."
I thought about that. "Yeah, speaking of Emmett, and knowing that I'll probably regret asking but, why exactly does your brother keep calling me Andy?"
"It's because of Andy Stitzer."
"Who?" I asked. Having no idea.
"Edward, Andy Stitzer is the name of Steve Carell's character in the for-"
"The 40 year old Virgin." I groaned as understanding dawned on me. "I should have seen that one coming."
"Sorry, Emmett lives to embarrass himself and others." Bella grinned.
Which reminded me of his statement this morning.
"By the way." I smirked. "What was that Emmett mentioned about a sex dream?"
I just hope that I was the star of Bella's dream, as she was the star of mine.
"Wipe that smirk off your face right now Edward Cullen. Emmett was just teasing me about my sleep-talking." She said defensively.
I'm not quite sure I'm buying it.
"Well, maybe I'll be lucky enough to get a 'repeat performance'." I grinned wickedly as I pulled her close.
-LRM-
After the events of yesterday, I promised Bella that I would hire a bodyguard for my trips to Seattle. I contacted Sidney's company, and they sent someone out to meet me. Lou was a great guy, with a solid law enforcement background. He would start working for me as of tomorrow.
Soon after Bella left for school, Jasper phoned.
"Edward, I have to let you know that a lot of shit is on the internet today. There are photos of you with Bella. The websites have gone crazy demonizing both of you, but they're harsher toward Bella."
Damn it.
"Okay. Thanks for letting me know Jasper." I sighed.
"You gonna be okay Edward?" Jasper knew me well.
"I guess. I spoke with Tanya yesterday, she promises to make her statement in a week."
"Well that's something at least." Jasper said hopefully.
"Yeah. I just wonder if it will be 'too little too late'."
"Keep a positive attitude Edward. Everything will work out." Jasper tried to cheer me up.
"Thanks Jasper. Listen, I've got to go, I'll talk to you later."
I needed to get off the phone and see what kind of crap they were saying on the internet.
"Okay." Jasper answered skeptically. "Bye Edward."
"Bye."
Jasper was right, the shit was bad. The things that people were saying about Isabella was offensive, cruel, and in some cases borderline threatening. After about twenty minutes of viewing site after site of that garbage I was heartsick.
And angry.
Somehow I knew this would happen. I have brought nothing but misery to Bella since the day we met. I had hoped that things would improve, that the publicity would die down, but every day it seemed to get worse.
She doesn't deserve this.
My mother called, no doubt she'd heard about the shit on the internet. I refused her offer for lunch, not wanting to drag her down with my miserable mood.
The same thing happened when Emmett tried to get me to leave the apartment. I was in no mood to be around people right now.
Bella had phoned a couple times during the day, but only spoke for a minute. If the poor treatment she'd received from the other students had escalated since yesterday, she never let on.
Sometime after three, Bella called to say she was running a little late because she was working on a project with a couple of friends, and she didn't want me to worry.
She had never mentioned any friends, but I was glad to know she wasn't alone.
As soon as Bella walked through the door a little while later, I knew something was wrong. My worry only increased when Emmett followed her in.
"Bella what the hell happened? You look .."
"I'm pretty sure that I look like shit right now Edward. You don't have to tell me." She said with an edge to her voice. "I'm sorry. It's just that I have to tell you something and I know you're going to get upset."
I frowned. "Just tell me Bella." I answered in an even voice.
"A person, or persons, vandalized my car today." She announced in a flat voice.
What?
I took a deep breath. "Tell me exactly what they did Bella."
She cleared her throat. "They slashed my tires and wrote on the side of the car." She was still trying to stay calm. Emmett put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him.
I should be the one doing that, but I'm too fucking angry.
"What did they write Bella?" I seethed. I hated having to pull this out of her.
She shrugged her shoulders and let out a breath. "Slut" she said simply.
I knew this was because of our relationship.
"So what you're saying is that it wasn't just a random attack. Once again, bad things are happening to you because of me."
"Dude, you need to calm down. The police are involved, they'll find out who it was. Blaming yourself doesn't seem like the most helpful route right now." Emmett interjected.
"Don't tell me to calm down. Don't tell me that it's not my fault. You know damn well that this wouldn't have happened if all this bullshit with Tanya had been straightened out a long time ago." I blasted. "Or better yet if I'd never agreed to it in the first place."
I took a few breaths while Emmett eyed me warily.
"Look Emmett, I'm sorry. I do agree that my self-loathing isn't going to help Bella right now." Then I turned toward Bella "The most important thing is your safety. I hired a new bodyguard today. So, as of tomorrow, Lou will be escorting you to and from school and work."
She opened her mouth as if to argue. Emmett stopped her. "Look Bells, I was on the phone with Dad while you spoke with the police. He thinks you need protection, and I agree with him."
She looked at me sheepishly then. "Okay, I'll agree to the bodyguard, but Edward, I don't want him sitting in on my classes."
"Bella, that would be safest for you." I began to argue.
"Edward, I won't agree to the bodyguard unless you promise me he won't sit in on my classes." She demanded.
She was so damn stubborn.
I growled in defeat. "Alright, but so help me if there are any more incidents, no matter how small Isabella, Lou will be stuck to you like glue."
She just nodded her head.
After dinner, we sat in the living room each of us working on our laptops. Alec had sent an e-mail advising of the status of the Mustang restoration. He had located a car within a week of my request. It was now in a body shop in southern California in the process of being restored.
At least that was one thing to be happy about.
Isabella was restless, and kept eyeing me while I answered my e-mails. Finally she spoke. "Edward, it's only a car. I'll survive."
Unfortunately, because of my black mood, it was precisely the wrong thing to say. "Bella, it could very well have been you that they attacked, can't you see that? You can't keep hiding your head in the sand. You need to take this seriously. I didn't want to show you this, but look."
And then like a fool, I pulled up one of the websites I had viewed earlier, and turned the screen toward her. I wasn't even thinking of how this would affect her, I just wanted her to take these threats seriously.
After a moment, I watched as Bella's eyes filled with tears.
I am such a bastard.
I closed the laptop and set it on the coffee table as I reached for her. "Oh God Bella. I'm so, so, sorry. I don't know what I was thinking." I moaned as I held her. "I've been so worried, and then when this happened today, I just lost it. Please, please forgive me." I said as I pressed my face into her neck.
"Edward there's nothing to forgive, you didn't write those hurtful words." She answered as she tried to pull herself together.
I will never forgive myself for making her cry again.
The rest of the evening passed quietly.
The next day after sending Bella off to school with Lou, I decided to meet my mother for lunch.
"Edward, you look tired." She said as she studied my face.
"Just a little worried Mother." I tried to avoid the reasons for my weariness.
"Edward, I know how you are. Stop punishing yourself over this mess. You can't change the past."
I heard her words, but they didn't do much to change the way I felt.
"Listen to me son. Your number one concern should be building a future with Bella. Stop being distracted by these sensational stories. You know better than anyone that this will blow over."
I wanted to believe my mother, unfortunately by this time I had convinced myself that even when Tanya told the truth it wouldn't change anything. There were too many people that hated and vilified Bella. I couldn't see them changing their minds.
They'd destroyed her fucking car for Christ's sake.
That afternoon I was trying to relax and improve my state of mind when I received a text from Alice.
E-
Turn on BNCC News channel. There's a repeat showing of a story they had on earlier today about Bella. Make sure she doesn't see it Edward.
-Ali
I quickly turned on the program Alice was referring to, already in progress…
The video you just saw was of Jeffrey Dryden. Mr. Dryden is currently serving a life sentence in a prison in Arizona for the rape and murder almost seven years ago of Renee Swan. Renee, if you aren't aware, was the mother of Isabella Swan, the on again, off again love interest of Edward Masen.
Our reporters have been investigating this story for some time now and hope to shed some light on exactly who Isabella Swan is.
We have discovered that Isabella, who was present during the rape and murder of her mother, and witnessed everything, was herself, injured in the ordeal.
Vultures. Alice is right, I cannot let her see this.
We have with us today the sister and brother of Jeffrey Dryden. Michelle Thomas and Jason Dryden. Michelle and Jason have agreed to come on the program to give us information about Ms. Swan that, up until now, the general public has not been made aware of.
Before we begin, I must stress that our program and our sponsors are in no way responsible for and do not necessarily agree with, the opinions of our guests, even though some of our viewers may.
Let's start with you Michelle. We know that your brother and Renee Swan dated when she and Isabella live in Florida. I'm aware that you knew them both at that time. What can you tell us about the Isabella you knew?
The woman, Michelle, began to speak.
Well, I always felt that that little missy led my brother on, she wanted him. Poor Jeff is sick, he's not right mentally. Isabella was like that Lolita girl. She made him do crazy things. I don't think he wanted to kill her mother. She probably wanted her Mother dead, less competition for the men. She's now got her hooks in Edward Masen and is making him do crazy things like abandoning his baby, she's trouble.
This bitch is insane.
I couldn't listen anymore. Bella had texted earlier that she was on her way to WIRI. I had to get there and make sure she didn't see this. I grabbed my phone and called a cab.
I raced through the studio only to find Bella's cubicle empty. Proceeding on to Rose's office, I heard Bella's sobs before I even saw her.
When I did see her, it broke my heart. She was curled up in Rose's arms on the sofa crying her heart out.
Each sob stabbed my heart. Each tear made me want to hold her in my arms, but my feet were frozen in place as I watched from the doorway.
After she calmed, she looked up with bleary eyes and saw me.
"How long have you been there?" She asked.
"A while." I answered sadly.
She climbed off the sofa and stood, Rose with her.
Rose placed her hands on either side of Bella's face. "Bella, listen to me. Nothing anyone says can hurt you. You went through Hell already honey and you survived. You have to live your life, Renee would want nothing less."
"Look, Edward is going to take you home now. I'll check on you later okay." Rose said as she kissed Bella's cheek.
"Thanks Rose."
I walked over and held her for a few minutes before leading her to the car. It was a quiet ride, which gave me time to think.
As long as I'm with her, this will continue to happen. It's only a matter of time before she realizes this.
Emmett was waiting in the living room when we got back. He immediately pulled her into his arms. After he was certain that she was okay, he went back to his own apartment.
Bella's family loves her very much. They will take care of her just as they did before I arrived and screwed up her life.
We ate a quiet dinner. Bella fell asleep on the sofa and I carried her to bed.
She tossed and turned all night and woke up screaming more than once from the nightmares brought about by reliving the worst day of her life.
Because of me.
I did not sleep, preferring instead to keep vigil over the love of my life in her agony. I had no doubt in my mind that the time was coming when Bella would not be able to take any more. The love she felt for me now would eventually turn to resentment for the pain and disruption I'd caused in her life. I couldn't sit around and wait for the day that she would eventually leave me.
My mind was made up. With me gone, Bella's life would return to normal.
Yes, she would be sad at first, but eventually, when everything calmed, and the intrusive paps left her alone, maybe she could find it in her heart to forgive what I'd done to her.
As Bella slept fitfully, I phoned the airline and changed my flight. I then silently packed my suitcase.
When she woke up, she could barely look me in the eye.
It's already begun. She must truly hate me for what I've caused.
She was sitting in the kitchen drinking tea. I grabbed my suitcase, took a deep breath and rounded the corner.
Time to become Edward Masen.
She looked puzzled.
In a flat voice, I said "Bella, we need to talk."
She just looked at me.
"Bella, I think it best if I leave early today. It will just make things worse if we fly together tonight."
"Okay, um, I'd rather fly with you, but I guess if you're waiting for me when I land, that would be alright."
That won't be happening.
"Bella, I've decided to go ahead and fly to London as soon as I can. I'm going home to pack my things and head straight out." I was the actor. I was Edward Masen. I could not let her know that this was killing me inside.
She started to look worried. "Edward. Don't you dare blame yourself for what happened today. Camille is a bitch. She planned that entire incident, and got the reaction she wanted."
So it was Camille that set Bella up.
"Bella don't you realize that if I weren't in your life, none of this would be happening. The press wouldn't be hounding you. The park ranger wouldn't have tried to molest you. Your tires wouldn't be slashed. Those evil people on the television program would never have gotten their fifteen minutes of fame today! It's because of me that this is happening. I can't, I won't let it continue."
"Edward, as soon as Tanya makes her statement everything will be fine, you'll see. If you want to separate until then, I won't like it, but I'll understand. But please, please don't leave me like this." She said in a panicky voice.
"There will always be something for them to hound you about Bella. They will always bring up your past to hurt you. I can't risk hurting you any more. If I'm not in your life, they will leave you alone."
"Edward, you will be the one hurting me if you leave, not them."
It will seem like that at first, but eventually she will understand.
"When I'm gone, you'll be able to go back to a normal life Bella, that's all I want for you." I continued. "You should still go to Alice's, she's looking forward to it." I drew in a shaky breath, my façade starting to crack. "Lou is taking me to the airport, and he'll be back to take you to school right after."
"Edward, the only time I've had a normal life is with you. Please stay." She whispered desperately while clutching my arms.
How could I go through with this?
I have to, in order to save her.
I gently pried her hands loose. "I'm sorry Bella." I whispered. "I love you." I kissed her forehead and forced my legs to take me out of that apartment before I changed my mind.
On the way to the airport my phone rang. "Hello."
"Edward, I promise you that I will kick your stupid ass for this." My sister announced.
"Alice, just… don't." I whispered.
"I don't know what you are thinking, but you need to fix this. Where are you right now?"
"I'm on my way back to L.A.. I've decided to leave for England as soon as possible."
"Edward! You are the most frustrating person I've ever known. Don't you dare leave for England until I've seen you. Is Bella still coming tonight?"
"I don't think so Ali." I whispered.
"I'm working late because I thought you and Bella would stay at your place tonight." She paused for a minute. "Go home and get some rest, I'll come over after work."
"No Alice. Come over tomorrow and we'll talk then." I said quietly.
"Okay. Don't do anything stupid."
It was too late for that.
I barely remembered the rest of the ride to the airport and the flight back to L.A. By the time I landed, I knew I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. I also knew that there was no way to fix it.
I kept remembering the devastated look on Bella's face.
She will never forgive me. She will never take me back.
I made Sidney stop at a liquor store on the way from the airport. After arriving home, I thought back to Alice's words, and I fought the urge to start drinking. Instead, I retrieved my laptop from my carryon and proceeded to surf every website that contained hurtful stories about Bella. It turned out to be a more effective punishment than getting blind drunk would have been.
My self-loathing increased with each click of the mouse, and by the time evening had arrived, more precisely the hour in which Bella and I would have landed in L.A. together, I gave up the fight, and pulled out the first bottle of whiskey.
Sometime the next morning, although I had no idea of exactly what time it was, I called a cab to take me to the airport. Even in my inebriated state, I knew that Sidney would have stopped me from going if he had known.
After the cab dropped me off, I shuffled inside, all the while trying to make my mind focus on exactly why I had come here. As soon as I stepped through the doors, I was met with the blinding flash of cameras. I stumbled over to the nearest wall and hid my face as I leaned against it.
There is no way in hell I will give these fuckers their 'money shots' today.
In my stupid drunken state I was defenseless. No bodyguard, not even Alec was with me to help navigate this bullshit. I was just about ready to turn around and leave again when the shouting began:
'Edward, so you've finally given up on the little Lolita in favor of Tanya?'
'Hey Edward, should Tanya be afraid that Bella may decide to 'get her out of the way' like she did her mother?'
That was fucking it.
Every bit of hatred and anger in my body came to the surface as I threw myself into the crowd of paps. I wasn't sure which one of them said it, but I didn't give a shit. I just wanted to hit someone. I managed to smash a couple cameras, but the punch I aimed at one face went wide and instead of the satisfying feel of my fist connecting with some asshole's jaw, I felt my body slamming into the very hard airport floor.
After that, everything was a blur as police arrived and I was cuffed and taken away.
At the police station, I was treated well. Something I didn't deserve.
Probably because of my celebrity status.
A couple officers plied me with coffee in an attempt to sober me up. After a couple of hours, I was sober enough to make my phone call.
"Edward, what's happened?" Alice said frantically. "I got to your house and you were gone. You'd better not be on your way to London or so help me…"
"Alice" I said as I cut her off. "I need you to come bail me out of jail."
*****************************A/N****************************
A/N Hopefully that explains a bit of Edward's crazy frame of mind leading up to when he leaves Bella. Too angsty…but necessary. There's a photo of Rob on the blog (EPOV chap 20-24 Page) and on the Facebook page that fit the end of this chapter perfectly.
Did you recognize the 'fake out' sex dream. Just a bit of silly fun. The scene is different from Bella's dream, but the dialogue is identical… and they were having the dreams at the same time….hmmm
I had to make up the letters for that television news channel that Alice texts about ….almost every letter combination I came up with was some REAL news channel somewhere. Good grief
Next V&V is almost complete (well about two-thirds) prob post soon. Maybe even before 2011 (my time). Reviews will make me type V&V faster. I promise. Pinky swear?