Disclaimer- Stephenie still owns the usual suspects.
I own my original characters and original story.
**This Chapter parallels Chapter 25 (Makeup Kisses & Confessions) and Chapter 26 (Waxward & Sexward) from V&V. Edward's point of view in the pool is a bit steamier than Bella's, at least I think so…
*******************************LRM*****************************
Chapter 25 & 26 - That Which Doesn't Kill Us…
"Edward, what the hell were you thinking? What were you thinking with?" Alice shouted. At least I think she was shouting. My head hurt so much that a whisper may have sounded like a fucking fog horn at that moment.
"What did you do Edward?" This was Jasper's voice now. "Rose seems to think you broke up with Bella."
I couldn't answer. Breaking up with Bella was what I had needed to do, but I couldn't think the words much less say them out loud.
We were driving from the police station to my house. I hoped that Jasper and Alice would leave me alone once we arrived. I needed time alone to pull myself together. And maybe throw up.
Jasper tried to help me into the house, I pushed him away. "I can do it myself" I snarled.
Jasper backed off, putting his hands up in surrender. "Alright Mr. 'How many ways can I fuck up my life in a day?' Do. It. Yourself."
He was pissed. I didn't blame him. Everyone should be pissed at me.
"It stinks in here" Alice observed once we entered my house "It smells like whiskey. What were you doing Edward sitting around getting drunk and listening to Tom Waits all night?" She muttered. "You seem to forget that bad things happen every time you get drunk. Every time Edward!"
Alice and Jasper made me drink two cups of coffee before forcing me upstairs to my room. "You will go to sleep right now. I don't want to speak with you until your head is clear." Alice said, then her nose wrinkled in disgust. "You may want to think about a shower first."
Ugh. Why is life so hard?
"We'll be downstairs, guarding your liquor cabinet, so don't try anything stupid." She threatened before they left.
I took the shower as instructed and then crawled into my bed. At some point, I was aware of Alice opening the door. A minute later I heard her leave again.
Probably trying to ascertain whether I had followed her instructions.
I woke out of my stupor, and with my mind somewhat clear, everything I'd done in the last twenty-four hours came flooding back.
How could I have walked away from the best thing that had ever happened to me? Isabella was my entire world, and without her I had nothing.
Fuck it. I was going to find a way to numb this pain.
I pulled out the bottle of whiskey I had stowed in the cabinet by the bed and took a swig.
.
I'm having trouble sleeping,
You're jumping in my bed
Twisting in my head,
Leave me
.
Before Isabella, I was living a half-life, then she came along and changed everything. I knew that without her, I wouldn't return to that half-life. I would have no life.
.
I'm having trouble breathing
You're sitting on my chest
I sure could use the rest
Leave me
.
My biggest fear had been that she would leave me some day. Considering the way I was feeling now, there was no way that would have hurt more than this.
.
I'm having trouble sleeping
I'm thinking about what you said
About the tears been shed
Leave me
.
I was aware of time passing, each chime of the clock marking another hour since I'd exiled myself to my own personal hell. The whiskey did numb my pain, I didn't care what else it did to me, as long as I couldn't feel.
I wonder what Bella is doing now? Aside from hating me.
There was a knock on the door, it opened and Jasper and Alice walked in. "Edward!" Jasper said in alarm. "You stupid idiot!" He shouted as he confiscated my whiskey.
"What did I tell you Edward?" Alice screamed. "You have lost your mind." She and Jasper proceeded to confiscate the liquor I had stowed in my bedroom. "If it were up to me" Alice shouted. "You would never get this again." She said as she took the whiskey away.
They left me to my misery. The house grew quiet for the next hour or so. I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling as it started to grow dark outside.
The next time my door opened, Alice was alone.
"Well? What do you have to say for yourself, you drunken fool?" she shouted.
She's trying to kill me.
I groaned as I attempted to sit up. "Alice, don't yell at me." I slurred.
"Someone needs to yell at you. How many times do I have to be proven right before you'll listen to my advice every time Edward Cullen." Alice was so angry.
"You don't understand Ali, I left her. She was the best thing in my life and I'll never see her again." I moaned, feeling sorry for myself.
"And just whose fault is that jackass? Edward, you have caused all your problems. I told you never to agree to that phony relationship with Tanya, but you are so hard-headed. And now, you find your soul mate and you what? Just walk out on her, claiming it's for her own good? I should beat you to death right now and put you out of your misery! Ugh." Alice shouted as she kicked the bed.
Oh God, I didn't think it possible for my head to hurt more…
I moaned while trying to hold my skull together.
"It's okay Ali, just keep yelling, I'm pretty sure my head's going to explode." I said weakly, "You just don't understand."
"Then why don't you explain it to me Edward?" She asked in a softer voice.
I may as well tell Alice the truth.
"I knew it was just a matter of time until she couldn't take any more. The media attention has been brutal. I knew she'd leave me. I couldn't bear the thought of that…"
"And so you decided to break her heart out of fear that she would eventually break yours?" Alice asked incredulously.
I nodded, and it didn't help my headache. "You don't know Ali. You didn't see her when those horrible lies were said about her. She broke down and it was my fault."
"Then you added to it Edward." She shook her head. "Don't you understand anything? Bella lived through hell, it's only natural that she would react to reminders of that. Did she go into shock?"
"No." I answered. "It took a while, but she eventually calmed down. But then, that night, she had horrible nightmares."
"What did you do about the nightmares?"
"She seemed to recover when I held her." I admitted.
She did seem to be better because I was there…
"So let me get this straight. Bella had a reminder of the most horrific day of her life. As a result, she had an emotional breakdown from which she recovered, and nightmares which you helped her deal with."
Why did Alice have such a knack for pointing out how stupid I was?
I nodded slowly.
"You really are an idiot. I fail to see how your leaving was supposed to benefit her Edward. It sounds like your presence was what helped her."
I couldn't answer, it hurt my head and my stomach to think about it.
"It doesn't matter Ali. I left her, she'll never forgive me. And right now, I think I'm going to be sick." I mumbled as I lurched toward the bathroom.
I proceeded to throw up everything in my stomach while I silently hoped that Alice had left the room. She didn't need to hear this. After the dry heaves had finished with me, I splashed water on my face and looked in the mirror.
A matching set. I feel like shit, and I look like shit.
After carefully brushing my teeth, in order not to bring on another bout of nausea, I finally emerged from my bathroom.
The site that greeted me had me fearing that my dehydration had caused delirium. Bella was seated on a chair near the door.
"Bella" I whispered. "Are you really here or am I dreaming?" I said as I walked closer.
"Oh I'm here alright Edward. Whether you want me or not." She said as she crossed her arms over her chest.
She was really here, and she was angry.
I stopped and crumpled to the floor, leaning against the foot of the bed, never taking my eyes off of Isabella.
"Bella, I'll always want you. I'm not sure I thought everything through yesterday. I was just so worried about you, I may have been rash in my decision to leave."
"Ya think? You know what Edward? You don't get to talk right now, you only get to listen." She said in a cold voice.
I was stunned into silence.
"Edward, I can appreciate that you are worried about me. I understand that, I really do. My family makes a profession out of worrying about me. I don't think you realize how much better I've been since I met you."
"I've done things that I've never been able to do before, simply because you were with me. I felt normal for the first time in seven years."
This was my life she was describing.
"Now, I want the truth from you, no matter how much it hurts me. Do you care for me Edward? Just yes or no please."
I looked at her with sad eyes. "Yes."
I'm not surprised she questions the way I feel about her, after what I did.
"Do you love me Edward?"
"Yes." I answered.
More than anything.
"Do you want any kind of future with me?"
"Yes." I nodded while answering.
"Well that's good to know. I've spent over 24 hours trying to convince myself that the past weeks and months really meant nothing to you. Obviously I don't believe that, because I'm here now."
"Edward, you may say that you love me, you may even believe that, but it still wasn't enough to stop you from leaving me. I don't want a relationship with someone who could decide something like that without even consulting me about it first."
Oh God, what will I do if she won't forgive me? I can change. I'll do whatever she wants.
"But.." I tried to speak. I needed to tell her that I'd never have the strength to leave again, but she held her hand up to silence me.
"No. Not now. I need to finish."
"You discarded my thoughts and feelings on the matter, and treated me like a child. You decided that I 'couldn't handle' the pressure. Edward, did you pay attention when I told you about what happened to my mother? I was fifteen Edward, I'm not fifteen any more. I can handle a hell of a lot more than you give me credit for. Yeah, sometimes I'm going to fall apart, I'm only human. The important thing is that I recover. Every time I fall, I am somehow able to get back up. You have helped me with that. Since I met you, I haven't had to insulate myself from things the way I used to."
"Sometimes things are going to happen that will upset me. Sometimes they will be very bad, like what happened at the studio the other day. But you know what? If it means that we can be together, I'll take it. I'll take all the bad stuff and more Edward, because you'll be there to help me through it."
I stood and started to move toward her. I needed to hold her in my arms and tell her how sorry I was. Again, she held her hand up to stop me.
"Now, you have some decisions to make. Understand this, I want to be with you more than anything I've ever wanted in my life. I love you more than anything. If we can't be together, my life will be empty. I've lived that way before, and I guess I could do it again, but I don't want to."
"I also think that maybe we moved too quickly. We should take a step back and decide if this is what we both want, publicity and internet gossip be damned."
"I know that I want you, no matter the consequences. You need to decide if you really want me."
I tried to speak again. To tell her I didn't need time to think. I knew that I needed her in order to survive. She was everything to me. She stopped me again.
Shit.
"No Edward. You need to actually commit some time to thinking about this. You claimed you loved me before, but it was too easy for you to decide to leave me. I can't go through that again."
I'm an asshole.
"I'm going to stay with Alice and Jasper. I'll be there when you sober up and want to talk. If you don't come, then I will accept your decision."
She stood and walked over to me, kissing my cheek. I wrapped my arms around her, never wanting to let go. Eventually she pulled away, and I watched as she left the room.
-LRM-
The next sixteen hours were difficult. A big part of me wanted to hop in my car and follow Bella to Alice's house immediately. But, I knew that would be going against her wishes.
She wanted me to take some time to think, something I'd been doing very little of lately. The cold, hard, reality was that I did want all those things that Bella had mentioned, and I'd almost destroyed my chances of ever having them.
I loved her more than anything, that fact hadn't changed. But was love going to be enough for me to defeat my demons?
Every decision I'd made lately had been purely selfish. Sure, I was upset that she'd been hurt, and I told myself that I was leaving to protect her, but the bottom line was that I was attempting to keep myself from being hurt.
I'm not just an asshole, I'm a selfish asshole.
She was right. I'd never treated her as an equal in this relationship. I had made decisions without her input. That would have to change.
I thought about everything Bella and I had been through together, the good and the bad. If I wanted to fix this and move forward, if I wanted there to be an 'us', I needed to learn to trust Bella. Learn to trust her to know what she could handle, to trust her to be honest, and most importantly, I needed to trust her not to leave me.
Learning to trust, something I'd had difficulty with for seven years.
No matter how much I claimed to be over Meghan, I was still letting the ghost of that so-called relationship affect my decisions.
In the end, I didn't have a choice. Bella was my life. I knew I would never be strong enough to leave her again, and I prayed she would never leave me. I was ready to try. It was a leap of faith.
The next morning I sent her a text that I would be coming over that afternoon.
I found Bella sitting on Jasper and Alice's patio enjoying the sunshine. She was so beautiful, and as usual, she took my breath away.
"Are you enjoying the weather Bella?" I asked quietly.
I had so much to make up to her.
She turned and greeted me with a smile.
"Can we talk?" I asked timidly, hoping she was still willing to give me another chance.
"Sure." She said as she stood to go into the house.
Alice jumped to her feet and made up an excuse to give us some privacy. When we were alone, I sat down on the chair next to Bella's.
"So, I've been thinking" I began.
"That's a good start." Bella stated in a sarcastic tone as she smiled.
"I'm sorry I haven't been doing a lot of that lately." I attempted to smile back at her. "I've made a decision."
"Bella" Needing to have physical contact with her, I reached for her hand. "I don't want to live without you. Can you forgive me for being a fool. Can we forget Friday ever happened?"
"I don't want to live without you either Edward. Yes, I forgive you. But, no, we can't forget Friday ever happened."
My shoulders dropped in defeat. I had truly hoped we could get past this.
"If what happened Friday eventually makes our relationship stronger, then someday we may look back on it as a good thing."
I will never look back with fondness upon anything that hurt my beautiful Bella.
"I decided that, like you said, I'm willing to put up with all the bad stuff if it means I can keep you. I don't think I can make it without you Bella." I said as I leaned closer to her.
She smiled and placed a hand on my cheek. "Edward, I can't live without you either. We are kind of pathetic." She dropped her hand and sat back in her chair. "I think it's a good idea if we spend the time until you leave for England as a test period."
I didn't understand what she meant.
"A time where we can gauge whether or not we can handle the intrusiveness of the media, and still survive as a couple. We owe that to ourselves. We also don't need to spend every moment together, I think a little separation can be a good thing. Realistically because of your work schedule I can't always be with you, I need to learn to accept that."
I looked into her eyes, attempting to be completely honest with her. "I can't promise not to worry about you Bella."
"Nor would I want you to. Just don't overreact." She answered.
If it brings Bella back to me, 'Don't Overreact' will become my new mantra.
"I understand, and I agree, but right now I really want to kiss you." I grinned.
"So what's stopping you Mr. Movie Star?" She smiled happily, and all my worry and self-loathing disappeared.
I pulled her into my arms, kissing her passionately.
Now that I had her back, I was never letting her go.
"Well if that's the make-up kiss, I'd love to know what the make-up sex would be like." Bella blurted before slapping her hand over her mouth.
I laughed loudly and kissed her again.
She never fails to surprise and amuse me.
"Well, I guess you two lovebirds kissed and made up." Chirped Alice from the doorway.
"Yes we did nosey." I answered with a smile.
"Edward, did you realize that Tanya is making her statement tonight on national television?" Bella asked suddenly.
This day keeps getting better and better.
"No." I answered in surprise.
"Edward, this will change everything. We won't know until tomorrow what the fall-out will be for you, and for us. Will you be able to handle it?" She asked.
I took her hand again. "If you're with me Bella, I can handle all of it."
It was the truth.
-LRM-
That evening, we watched as Tanya made her statement. I'd known Tanya for years, and she was the consummate actress. She pulled out all the stops as she told her story.
Her words were exactly what Bella and I needed in order to be free of this fucked-up situation. Tanya didn't say anything that would incriminate herself, although there was always the chance that the studio would release the video.
I silently prayed that they would see the wisdom in letting the matter drop.
We all breathed a sigh of relief when Tanya finished. None of us could predict the future, with the exception of Alice of course, but I felt pretty confident that Bella and I had finally put our worst days with the press behind us.
Bella wouldn't let me stay with her, but even that fact had no affect on my euphoric mood. I knew that from now on everything would be okay, provided of course that I didn't screw up.
Over the span of about thirty-six hours I'd learned one very important fact: my worst enemy is myself.
-LRM-
"I don't care Jasper, I'm not spending any more time away from Bella until I have to leave for England. If they want to interview me, they'll have to do it this week, or next week in Seattle."
We were sitting in Jasper's office trying to re-arrange my schedule for the next few weeks.
"Very well Edward. I know that People is flexible. I'll set that one up for tomorrow afternoon. The GQ interview however will be lengthy, and they also want to do a photo shoot."
"I wouldn't be opposed to doing that one in England, see if they're agreeable." I said.
"Okay. Esquire has also been asking." Jasper added.
I sighed. "Those fuckers need to apologize before I'll speak with them." I grinned.
Jasper laughed. "I'll tell them that."
Despite Alice's attempts to keep me well-dressed at all times, I still managed to be seen in public wearing my jeans and hoodie. Last year, Esquire added me to their celebrity style 'hall of shame' because of my scruffy attire. Alice nearly had an aneurysm, and threatened me with bodily harm if I went out in public more than once a week in my 'ugly clothes' as she called them.
By the time I left Jasper's office, we'd nailed down most of my schedule for the next month.
While Bella was fielding phone calls from her family, I received one from Wendy. We discussed my 'incident' at the airport, and she was confident that she'd be able to have the charges reduced so we could settle out of court.
That was welcome news.
The next phone call I got wasn't as pleasant. My mother had seen the news reports about my airport escapades, and worse than that, she'd heard about what I'd done to Bella.
"Hello Mom."
"Don't you 'Hello Mom' me." My mother responded. "I would really like to know why I bothered having a conversation with you the other day Edward. You disregarded every bit of my advice. I hope you are ashamed of yourself."
"Yes Mother, I am."
"I'm glad to hear it. Did you repair your relationship with Bella? The answer had better be yes."
"Yes Mother."
"I'm glad you didn't succeed in driving her away Edward. That girl is the best thing that has or will ever happen to you. Do you understand?"
"Yes Mother."
"Now, about this business at the airport. You knew better than to physically attack someone. I couldn't understand what had gotten into you until Alice informed me that you had been drinking." She said with disgust. "Do I need to remind you of the problems drinking has caused you in the past young man?"
"No Mother."
"Drinking is never the answer Edward. It can only cause more problems. Your Father and I have been beside ourselves with worry for two days, but Alice told me to wait before calling you."
"I'm sorry Mother." I said sincerely.
"Now, do I need to have your Father speak with you to reinforce what I've just said?"
"No, Mother."
"Are you sure? Because I don't enjoy fielding questions from my nosey friends about my children Edward."
"I'm sorry Mom, it will never happen again."
"Okay, I love you. Now put Bella on the phone." She ordered.
"I love you too Mom."
I handed the phone to Bella. "My mother wishes to speak with you." I said with a smirk.
Bella looked a little nervous as she took the phone from my hand. "Hello" She said timidly.
She was silent as she listened.
"I'm beginning to realize that." Bella chuckled.
"Thank you Esme. I'm sure I'll have a wonderful stay." Bella said.
"Goodbye."
After lunch I got a phone call from Jane.
"Hello Edward. I know you're technically on break, but I really need to meet with you sometime this week if possible."
"I'm doing an interview with People tomorrow. How about if I stop by beforehand?"
"Perfect."
I went in search of Bella, only to find her up in the guest room surfing the internet. When I realized that she'd pulled up a search page full of stories about us, I had to chuckle. I'd looked at a few of them earlier in the day, and knew that everyone seemed to have done an 'about face' in their opinion of our relationship.
"Did you just google yourself Miss Swan?" I asked with a grin.
"You make that sound kind of dirty Mr. Movie Star." She laughed as she walked over to me.
I held her close.
"How would you like to go out for a little while? I think we're safe from angry mobs." For the first time, I felt safe showing off my girl to the world.
For the first time, she wouldn't be viewed as the 'other woman'.
"What did you have in mind?" Bella asked.
"Well, was there anything you wanted to do? Anything you wanted to see while here?" I didn't care where we went, as long as we were together.
Bella got a mischievous grin on her face.
What was she thinking?
She bit her lip. "You're going to laugh."
I smiled. "What is going through that mind of yours Isabella?"
She grinned. "Well…."
-LRM-
Bella's choice of entertainment was surprising, but so Bella. Here we stood in Madame Tussaud's wax museum. I'd never been here before. Even when they'd had the 'big reveal' of my wax figure, I didn't attend.
I had a feeling that if I'd known Bella at that time, she probably would have forced me to.
After I completely humiliated myself by having my photo taken with my wax self, I was anxious to leave. Bella of course wasn't, and I found it very difficult to tell her no.
Not just difficult, impossible.
I was amused by her reaction to Johnny Depp's wax figure.
I can't wait to see what she does when she meets him in person.
Watching Bella as she acted like a starstruck tourist was enchanting.
And to think I almost lost this.
"Edward when will Clint be coming to Seattle? I know you don't start filming until September." Bella asked.
"He'll probably be making a couple of trips before September. I know he'll be there for a few days in August, and probably once before then. I'll be touching base with him this week, I'll see if I can find out." I answered. As soon as I saw the scene from Kill Bill, I stopped walking.
"I would love to work with Quentin Tarantino." I said quietly.
"Have you ever met him?" Bella asked.
"Actually, I met him for the first time at one of the Academy Awards after parties this year. I've admired his work forever though."
Bella smiled, "Something else we have in common Mr. Cullen." She whispered.
Quentin and I had met at the Vanity Fair after-party at which time we'd both admitted to admiring each others' work. After a few minutes discussing our current projects, we agreed to meet and discuss possibly working together in the future.
Our next stop was Grauman's Chinese Theatre, where we proceeded to stand in the footsteps of our favorite movie stars. Again, it was a place I'd never been to before. Bella and I played the part of tourists for the rest of the afternoon. I even got her to eat fish tacos at a local snack bar.
The amazing thing about our day had been the reaction from my fans to seeing Bella and I together. Any time someone recognized us, they would smile. Some asked for autographs, others merely gave us the 'thumbs up'. These simple gestures meant the world to me, and also helped me to relax and stop fearing the worst.
As it got later, I knew that I didn't want to say goodbye to Bella tonight. After the shit I'd put her through, I was timid about asking her to stay at my house though.
Finally, when I couldn't put it off any longer, I bit the bullet and asked the question that I'd been avoiding. "Bella, I'd like to spend the evening at my house, would that be okay?"
Bella, instead of putting me out of my misery with a simple yes, proceeded to torment me. "Well gosh Edward, I'll miss you but if that's how you want to spend your evening I won't stop you." She smiled innocently.
"Bella." I groaned as I covered my face with my hand. "I'd like you to come over and spend the evening with me." I held my breath as I peered at her from between my fingers.
"I, um" She hesitated.
Please don't turn me down.
"Okay." She finally answered, as she looked into my eyes.
I released the breath I'd been holding and pulled her into my arms. "Thank you Bella, I was afraid you wouldn't want to be alone with me until after I came back from England."
She pulled away slightly and smiled at me. "Who says we'll be alone, I was going to invite Sidney to hang out with us."
I frowned at her as I heard Sidney chuckle from the front seat.
Who knew that mute motherfucker could laugh?
Alice, always five steps ahead of me, had already packed a bag for Bella and handed it to her through the car window. I silently wondered why she didn't let Bella pack her own things.
I smiled and shook my head. "I guess I'm ready to go." Bella said with a shrug.
When we arrived at my house, Bella acted as if she'd never been there before. I wondered how much of it she'd seen the other night, but since neither of us wanted to talk about that, I decided to give her a tour.
I had a difficult time luring her away from my home theatre. It was also one of my favorite rooms, second only to my music room.
The best part of the entire tour was the pool. Ever since meeting Bella, I'd imagined her in that pool. Some of my fantasies even included a bathing suit, although most did not.
Bella in a bikini in my pool. Better still, Bella naked in my pool.
I needed to get my thoughts under control before embarrassing myself.
As she stood beside the pool, staring at the lights of the city, I thought how having Bella here with me actually made this house feel like a home for the first time.
I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist.
"How do you like my preferred view of the L.A. nightlife Miss Swan?" I said as I smiled.
"It's perfect Edward." She murmured.
"Not as perfect as you Bella." I turned her to face me.
"I'll never be able to tell you enough how sorry I am for Friday." I said sadly. "I hope you understand that I hated seeing you hurting, knowing it was my fault."
"So you decided to hurt me more?" She asked calmly.
I deserved that.
"Believe me, by the time my plane touched down at LAX, I realized what a stupid mistake I'd made."
"Why didn't you call me? I would have listened."
"I didn't think I deserved you. I don't deserve you." I answered.
She placed a finger on my lips. "Edward, we've been through this. Today was the first day for us to be recognized as a couple, without Tanya's shadow looming, and it was a good day. I'm not fooled into thinking that all the days to come will be this easy. We need to be sure that we can handle the bad ones also."
"As long as we don't make decisions about our relationship based on the public or media reaction, everything will be fine. That was Tanya's mistake for years, and the mistake you made on Friday."
I couldn't look at her.
She placed her hand on the side of my face, turning me to look into her eyes. Her beautiful, loving, brown eyes.
"Hey, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I don't want to keep rehashing this incident over and over forever. I want to be able to trust that you won't do anything so stupid again. When in doubt, listen to your sister." She grinned.
I smiled back. "Good advice. I hate to admit it, but every time I ignore her, it comes back to bite me in the ass."
We both laughed.
I glanced toward the pool. "How about a swim?" I asked.
I watched her face as she thought about that. "Hopefully Alice packed my swimsuit in my backpack."
We each headed to different bathrooms to change. I had a serious five-minute conversation with my dick expressing the need for 'polite behavior' when in the presence of Miss Swan in a bathing suit.
After dressing, I grabbed a couple of towels and went in search of Bella. After about ten minutes I started to worry that she had become ill.
I knocked softly on the bathroom door. "Bella, are you okay sweetheart? Did you still want to swim?" I asked, hoping and praying that nothing was wrong.
Without answering, Bella opened the door. As soon as I saw her in that blue bikini…
Thank you Alice.
I was speechless. I was also aware that my dick hadn't listened to a single word I'd said.
Traitorous bastard.
Bella stood before me looking the part of a goddess, come to earth to torture unsuspecting mortals.
Fuuuck me.
I'd never seen this much of Bella before, but instead of being satisfied with this new mental image with which to fuel my Bella fantasies, my selfish mind and body wanted more.
I really hope I'm not drooling.
For a moment, I worked to get my facial expression, and my dick, under control.
Bella seemed to be attempting the same thing. Well, not the part about the dick, because obviously Bella didn't have one of those. Instead, Bella was blessed with a soft, sweet, pu…
Bella's sudden laughter broke me from my inappropriate thoughts. All I could do in response was smile and shake my head.
I'm turning the heat off in that fucking pool. Cold water is my friend.
I grabbed Bella's hand and led her toward the water, hoping that she was unaware of the uncomfortable state of affairs in my swimsuit.
Moving around in the water helped a little. Well, honestly it only helped to hide my problem because every time Bella swam by, my dick stood to attention, saluting her effort.
We talked about nonsensical things as I tried to keep my distance from the perpetually unaware sex goddess.
I wonder how much time is long enough to spend in this cursed pool?
Before I could answer my own question, Bella swam over to me, and wrapped her arms around my neck.
F. U. C. K.
"Hi." She looked into my eyes as I wrapped her in my arms, carefully avoiding contact between her and 'Benedick Arnold'.
"Hi." I breathed. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea Bella."
"Why's that Edward?" She whispered.
She was totally on to me.
"Because my self-control is waning." I whimpered as I held her tighter.
As much as my mind wanted to resist, every other part of me surrendered when Bella kissed me. When she wrapped her legs around my waist I was almost certain that I caught a glimpse of my self-control waving the white flag as it retreated down the hillside.
Deciding to follow Bella's lead, I moved my hands down until they cupped her luscious ass, holding her against me as I kissed every inch of bare skin that I could reach.
I felt her tiny hands travel across my back until they rested just above the waistband of my swimsuit. At the same time, I moved one of my hands until my thumb was gently grazing the side of her breast, while the other hand remained under her bottom, mere inches from her sex.
Yeah, I was paying attention.
When one of Bella's hands slid onto my ass, I moved my hand slightly, but just enough for my thumb to graze back and forth against her nipple. She was amazingly responsive to my touch. I began to kiss from her shoulder down across her chest. I was just about to find out if she would be as responsive to my lips and tongue on her nipple as she had been to my thumb, when Bella suddenly grasped my ass cheek hard, causing my dick to almost explode without notice.
As uncomfortable as it made me, I didn't want her to stop.
Suddenly, a sound I never expected to hear broke through the lust-filled fog of my brain.
Bella was chuckling.
My dick, which had been standing at attention for so long, immediately took an 'at ease' posture. I looked down at Bella's face incredulously. "Bella, what could you possibly find to laugh about at this moment? I have to say that it doesn't do a lot for my ego." I said quietly.
She immediately began to apologize. "Oh my gosh, Edward, I'm so sorry. I'm just really nervous about this and my mind copes in the most twisted ways." She explained.
I thought about that for a minute, and then I smiled. "I like how your mind works Bella. But you have to tell me what you were thinking or it will bother me for the rest of the night."
Suddenly my self-esteem was non-existent, and I felt like a twelve year old boy.
"It was stupid." She said. This wasn't an explanation. My bruised ego needed to know what the hell was so funny, that it could distract Bella in a shared moment of heated passion.
"I just remembered that crazy old lady groping you in church, that's all."
I attempted not to smile at the thought of the crazy old lady that Bella had dubbed 'Grandma Moses', but I just couldn't do it. I shook my head and grinned at her. "You are so strange Isabella Swan."
Part of me knew that Bella hadn't been ready for this. Unfortunately that part was now having a cappuccino somewhere down in the San Fernando Valley.
I pulled her close and took her chin in my hand, gently pulling her face up to look in her eyes. "I said I wouldn't push, and I meant it. No more than you are comfortable with, okay?"
She nodded. "I liked what you were doing, it felt nice." She whispered.
And just like that my dick seemed to recover, and want to rejoin the party. Knowing that a round of 'self love' was out of the question with Bella in the house, I resigned myself to suffer in silence.
"I'm glad." I smiled. "Bella, I definitely don't want our first time to be in my swimming pool. I want it to be special, especially for you. I love you so much beautiful Bella." I said as I kissed her again.
"I love you too." She whispered.
"Edward."
"Yes Bella."
"We should probably go watch a movie." She sighed.
"That may be best." I grinned. "What movie did you have in mind?"
"Anything except September Ends."
What?
"Bella, I'm not in the habit of watching my own movies, but what specifically is it about September Ends that you dislike?"
"Um, I don't dislike it. As a matter of fact, I probably like it too much."
"I just don't think I can handle Sexward Masen twice in one evening."
She was so random.
I burst into laughter and then hugged her to me. "Bella, I don't know how I've lived without you all these years."
"Me neither Edward." She said as she grinned. "Me neither."
*******************************A/N*****************************
A/N Song rec: 'Trouble Sleeping' by The Perishers
I always like it when Edward is nervous. It's really the only time he's comical.
About two-thirds finished the next V&V. I'm not kidding when I say that reviews make me want to write faster. AND as a result of writing faster, we all get closer to that glorious day when E & B get to 'hump like bunnies'. So press that review button and send me a note or even a smiley face, I don't care (as long as you don't give me the finger, we'll remain friends). Laters baby.