Disclaimer- Stephenie still owns the usual suspects.

I own my original characters and original story.

**This chap parallels Chapter 29 of V&V 'Tidal Pools & Capistrano'.

It's very short and sweet. Nothing spectacular to reveal, except what was going on in Edward's head during the visit to Capistrano. I didn't want to combine 2 chaps into one this time. Hey, I had my reasons, and they're boring.

*********************************LRM****************************

Chapter 29 - Day Trip For Bird Watchers

Bella woke up crying this morning. I realized at that moment that hearing her cry in her sleep was the singular saddest sound in my world. She looked like a small vulnerable child curled up in bed as she wept.

After she explained her dream, I couldn't help but think that because of her anxiety over the times we had to be apart, her subconscious mind had brought all the painful separations of her past to the surface. Her childhood had been defined by a pattern of separation. First, she was wrenched from the only home she'd ever know when her parents divorced, separated for months at a time from the father and brother she loved. Years later, through the acts of a mad man, she was separated from her mother forever.

We both knew that the time was coming when we'd be apart again. It wouldn't be the end of the world, it would just feel that way. At least a little. In my case, I knew that since I'd met Bella, everything was easier when we were together. I relaxed in her presence. She was the calming influence that I'd needed for years. It was easier to breathe.

It was getting harder and harder to be normal when she wasn't around, and I was pretty sure that Bella felt the same way.

Now as long as I can keep my promise to not overreact when the paps or some random asshole upsets her…everything will be fine.

Thinking it best to put away all thoughts of the time when we'd be apart again, I decided the best idea would be to make this vacation as pleasant and memorable as possible for Bella.

Today, I planned to take her to Capistrano, a place that was about as different from her little town of Forks as you could get.

Of course I can't share that with Bella, because she doesn't know I've been to Forks. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to share that information with her. Maybe in a few years?

I am a pussy.

As we rode along on our way to Capistrano, I told Bella about the death of my character in The Harvest of Avarice. I was teasing her because of her emotional reaction to the death of my character in Time Stands Still.

"Edward, I'm glad my suffering amused you. I'd like to see your reaction if you had to watch me die."

I felt as if I'd just received a gut punch. The thought of Bella not being in this world was too horrific to even imagine. At that moment, I knew without a doubt that if Bella wasn't here, I wouldn't want to be either.

Taking note of my reaction, Bella quickly apologized. "I'm sorry Edward, I know it's not the same. I don't know why I said that." She patted my hand soothingly. "So, tell me more about this movie."

It took a few minutes for my mind to recover from the horrible thought of losing Bella.

This was a good opportunity to change the subject, so I proceeded to tell her all about the new movie. I'd forgotten how carried away I could get when talking about a project, but Bella never seemed to get bored.

We had a wonderful day playing tourist in Capistrano. We tried to behave like normal everyday people enjoying the sights, trying not to draw attention to ourselves.

Except for when we sucked face in front of the Basilica, and drew a crowd.

I'd been to Capistrano more than once with my family, but everything was so much more enjoyable when I got to see it through Bella's eyes.

Little did she realize that today was a test of sorts for me. If I could curb my over-protectiveness of her in this public place, knowing that Sidney wasn't around if things got a little hairy, then I would be able to handle the paps when we got back to L.A.

I'm improving. I think.

Now if Bella could only stop arguing every time I spend money on her…

She was chilly, almost to the point of her teeth chattering. I took charge of the situation and immediately purchased a knit wrap for her to wear over her dress. The look on her face told me that she didn't approve of the price. I, on the other hand, thought it very little to pay in order to ensure her comfort.

Having grown up with money, it wasn't really something I thought about. I knew that Bella was of a different mindset. Before Emmett made it big in the NFL, no one in her family had a lot of money. I suspect that when she lived with her mother, there was actually very little to spare. She seemed to view all money spent on her as a waste, as though she wasn't worthy of it. Nothing could be further from the truth.

She didn't understand that spending money on her made me happier than I'd been in years. I had my work cut out for me, dealing with Bella's self-esteem issues.

Our next stop was lunch at a little restaurant that had a beautiful view of the Old Mission. We had just settled at our table when Bella said, "Oh Edward, they have an extensive list of California wines, we should try one."

Fuck that idea.

I responded quickly. "Um, Bella, I'm afraid that after yesterday, alcohol is not an option for us."

"Why would you say that?" She actually looked puzzled.

"Bella, don't you remember the moratorium?"

I watched her as she thought for a moment. Suddenly she got a panicked look on her face before covering it with her hands.

"Oh Edward, please tell me I didn't make a complete fool of myself in front of Johnny. What must he think of me?" She looked as if she was going to cry.

Not being able to bear seeing her in pain, I immediately flew out of my chair and crouched down beside her. "Bella, don't cry. There is no reason for that. Johnny's a friend, I've known him for two years. Believe me when I say that he likes you."

She peeked out from behind her hands, trying to blink the tears away. "Really?"

"Of course, when you were eating do you know what he told me?"

"That I'm insane and should be committed?" She asked.

I chuckled. "No, he whispered that I'd be a fool to ever let you get away from me. I had to agree."

I watched as she visibly relaxed.

As usual, this was my fault. Instead of looking out for my girlfriend's best interest, I let her drink to the point of embarrassment. "I feel responsible for yesterday, I should never have let you drink without eating first." I said sadly as I rubbed the back of my neck with my hand.

"Edward, no guilt trips. I'm a grown woman, although sometimes I don't act like one. I do have to tell you something though."

"Yes?"

"You know when I went to the ladies room before we left, our waitress was in there."

My curiosity was piqued.

"And, she didn't wash her hands!" Bella blurted.

Bella, in her drunken haze, had been right.

I couldn't hold back the laughter that bubbled to the surface. Bella laughed along with me, until she suddenly stopped as if she'd just thought of something.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, I don't worry about me, I actually had a hepatitis shot last year before I did my student teaching."

I know where she's going with this.

I patted her hand, "Bella, I know what you're thinking. My dad's a doctor remember. Because of my travel schedule, he makes sure that I get every possible immunization. No worries." I grinned. "I just can't believe you turned out to be right about the waitress, that is just nuts."

"Thank heavens I don't drink too often, although I should report her. Yuck. Anyway, at least it takes alcohol to make me act like a fool, my brother doesn't have that excuse."

We both laughed again.

Soon after that the server arrived to take our food order. A little later, on my way back from the rest room, I found Bella on the phone.

"Yeah, it was hard being so far away." She said quietly to someone.

Bella listened to the person on the other end of the line.

"I have a few minutes if you want to talk now." She said.

I wonder if she's speaking to her brother? Or Rose?

"Okay, Bye Brother Bear."

Ah, Emmett.

Our lunch arrived, we'd both opted for seafood dishes. We shared bites of our food as we chatted. Bella regaled me with stories about the colorful cast of characters that she and Rose worked with. Unfortunately, I'd only met a few of the people at WIRI, and most of those had been assholes like Newton, or bitches like Camille.

After lunch, it was time to leave Capistrano and head back to the hotel. I didn't tell Bella, but I wanted as much alone time with her as I could get. All too soon we would be back at my sister's, and with the arrival of Rose and Emmett tomorrow, our quality 'alone time' would be almost nonexistent.

-LRM-

"Edward, I think this may be the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen." Bella smiled over to me as we watched it from the balcony of our suite.

After we'd watched the sunset, and I'd spent a little time holding my girl in my arms, at Bella's insistence we went out for burgers. It was fun for a change to eat somewhere 'casual'.

Hope Alice doesn't find out.

As we sat enjoying our burgers and fries, I knew that the fans were paying close attention. If this encounter followed the same pattern that they usually did, they would wait until we'd eaten to ask for the odd photo or autograph.

Just like clockwork, as soon as Bella and I had taken our last bite, a couple of girls approached our table.

"Um hi." One of the girls said, flustered. "I was just wondering, I mean would it be okay, oh gosh, can I get a photo with you Mr. Masen?"

My fans were always very polite.

I smiled and stood to greet her. "Of course. It's Edward by the way. What's your name?" I asked as I reached to shake her hand.

"I'm Claire, and this is my friend Robyn, we're really big fans." Claire squeaked out.

"Nice to meet you girls." I answered.

I noticed Bella watching me with an adoring look on her face. I couldn't help myself, I winked at her.

After posing with several fans in several photos, some of which included Bella, it was finally time to go.

As we drove back to the hotel, I was smiling when I glanced at Bella.

She was watching me intently.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." She flushed.

"Definitely something." I questioned.

"Okay, I don't think you realize how nice that was, the way you treated your fans."

"Oh" I shrugged. "It's simple really, without my fans, I wouldn't have a career. Sometimes, I get to show them how much I appreciate them. It makes us both happy."

-LRM-

When I emerged from the bathroom after my shower, I found Bella sitting nervously on the edge of the bed.

"Hi" I said as I walked over and sat beside her.

"Hi" She answered. "and thank you" she continued.

"For what?"

"For today, believe me when I say that it was one of the best days of my life. The more time I spend with you, the more normal I feel." She said sincerely.

The feeling is mutual Beautiful Bella.

"I'm glad you enjoyed today Bella. The time we spend together means the world to me." I reached over and took her hand, holding it between both of mine. "So" I started "Are you going to tell me what's bothering you?"

She cleared her throat. "Bothering me?"

I tilted her chin, and looked into her eyes. "Yes Bella, something's been bothering you for a couple of days now. Please tell me before I lose my mind." I pleaded with her.

I had been so careful to not overreact. Maybe she's decided that this is all too much for her. Maybe she doesn't want this life after all.

My heart sank into my stomach.

She sighed.

"It's just that, Monday night we got really close. I mean, we went a little farther then I intended." She eyed me nervously.

I knew I'd let things go too far.

She watched me as she spoke. "Before you take the blame, I want you to stop right there. It wasn't anyone's fault. I know it's just part of the natural course. We're in love and it's normal to want to show one another physically how much we mean to each other."

That is true, but after the screwed-up shit that Bella has lived through, I should have been more considerate.

She fidgeted with the hem of her nightgown as I nodded.

"I have several reasons why I don't want to go any further physically, yet."

"Which are?" I asked.

I had a feeling I knew at least some of them.

"Well, don't be upset okay? But it's only been a few days since you left me. I want to make sure that you won't do that again."

I wanted to tell her that there was absolutely no chance of that ever happening again, but she silenced me with a finger on my lips. "No, Edward, I don't think you'll leave again, but time is the best way to prove that to me."

I nodded.

I will give her all the time in the world. I will give her forever if she will let me.

"Next, we haven't given the Tanya revelation enough time to resonate with the public. At the moment, all our feedback is positive. I believe that will fluctuate. I want to make sure our relationship is strong enough to weather anything. I know I'm not going anywhere, but you will have to learn to deal with negative things that are said about me. Again, time is the only way to gauge it."

This had also been on my mind. But I knew there was something else.

I looked at her, narrowing my eyes. "There's something more Bella. What aren't you telling me?"

She took a deep breath. "Okay. It's really hard to be apart from you. I think about you all the time, I mope around and drive everyone crazy."

I smiled. It was exactly the same for me.

"I'm just afraid that if we take that next step, I know it will be even harder to be apart."

I understood what she meant.

We both have obligations right now. Bella has her schooling, I have my career. It's impossible to avoid these periods of separation.

"Bella, I've been thinking about this also. Sometimes it scares me how much our minds are in tune with each other. I think it would be a good idea to wait a while for that next step." I began to rub soothing circles on the back of her hand. "You mean so much to me. I don't want to make love to you, and then travel halfway around the world. I'd rather we have some kind of permanent commitment." I looked into her eyes as I said this.

Dear God, I hope she wants the same thing. I wouldn't survive if she sent me packing.

"Oh Edward, I agree" I sagged in relief at those words. "I was worried that when you would leave me, I'd feel so lost. I want to feel that I truly belong to you. Don't get me wrong, I know you love me and would come back to me." She seemed to stumble with her words. "It's such a huge step for me. I guess I found out that I'm old fashioned." She laughed. "Old fashioned but with the mouth of a sailor. Please tell me you're not disappointed."

Far from being disappointed, I was elated.

Bella wanted forever. Forever with me.

I laughed and shook my head. "I'd have asked you to marry me weeks ago, if I'd thought you'd say yes."

She looked a bit stunned. "What?"

"It's just that as soon as I got to know you, I was sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you Bella. Now you're telling me that you feel the same way, I'm definitely not mad, I'm actually floored at the moment."

I pulled her to me. "I want us to get married. When I have to travel, I want you with me. I want to have a family with you. I don't want us to be apart if we can avoid it."

"Edward, don't ask me yet." She blurted.

I was almost amused by the urgency in her voice, then I realized what she'd said.

"Edward, I want all of that too, but just wait a while. Charlie would flip his shit if you proposed this soon."

I relaxed a little. "Okay, but now that I know this can really happen, don't expect me to wait too long Miss Swan. I want the Mike Newton's of the world to know that you're off the market." I smiled at her and winked.

"Oh, is that the only reason Edward?" Bella grinned. "Just deflating Mike's hopes?"

That fucker.

I growled. "Well, there's also the fact that I never have to let you go, you'll be mine forever. I get to keep you, and take care of you."

I leaned down and lightly brushed our lips together. "Could you handle forever with me Bella?" I brushed my lips against Bella's again, before claiming them.

Bella moaned as she parted them, granting me access. She tasted like strawberries. "Was that a yes Miss Swan?" I breathed, our lips still touching.

"Yes" She breathed back.

The kiss grew in intensity as our bodies pulled closer together. I leaned into the kiss until Bella was lying back on the bed, my body pressed on top of hers.

Bella seemed to slow the tempo of our kissing and pulled away a little.

I did it again. Why is it impossible for me to be a gentleman around Bella? Damn it, my erection is pressed against her hip.

I felt terrible for the fact that I had immediately disregarded what we'd talked about just a few minutes before, so I began to move away.

"No, don't pull away. I want to feel you close." She whispered, as she held herself against me.

I sighed, and tried to relax a little. My hard-on was not going away any time soon.

"Edward, I'm sorry. This is probably so unpleasant for you, I feel so mean and selfish."

"Bella, you are the most pleasant form of torture I could think of. Don't feel bad baby. Remember, I've waited a lot of years for you, without even knowing why I waited. I can be patient." With that, I kissed her again.

"But Bella" I breathed against her lips. "Everyone's opinion be damned, I will be asking soon."

********************************************A/N**************************************************

A/N Just a little EPOV filler chap, before moving on to more action when Rose and Em arrive in town.

I'm anxious to get back to V&V. Next chap almost ready to go.

Thank you to everyone that reads and/or reviews! Send me some more, be sweet, RL has been kicking my arse this week.