Disclaimer- Stephenie still owns the usual suspects.

I own my original characters and original story.

** This chapter parallels Chapter 36 of V&V 'Wookies & Good Friday'. Enjoy!

******************************LRM**************************

Chapters 36 - Return To The Scene Of The Crime

One of the great things about my father was how he could get something off his chest and move on. The man never held a grudge. By the way he acted at dinner, you would never have known that he'd chewed my ass out earlier that day. I doubt my mother even knew about it. When he said that we wouldn't speak of something again, we didn't.

When I told him that I was going to rent a car to drive to Forks, he insisted I take his Mercedes. He grinned when he explained that it gave him an excuse to drive the Vanquish. He smirked when I jokingly threatened to kick his ass if he damaged my baby.

Everything between us was completely normal again.

Thank God.

"Dorothy was a pleasant surprise." Bella remarked with a grin.

"She is one of my favorite people." I said as I smiled back.

We were on our way back to Bella's apartment in Dad's Mercedes.

"I toyed with the idea of taking the Vanquish to Forks" I told her. "But I thought it would make you uncomfortable to be in such a flashy car for our first trip there."

I'm sure her Dad would rightfully think I was some sort of rich asshole.

"Yeah. Even though I'm certain that every single person in Forks knows about us, I'm all for keeping a low profile while we're there this weekend." She grinned.

I nodded in agreement. "Besides, my Dad loves to have an excuse to drive the Vanquish." I said with a chuckle.

Back at the apartment, Bella went to her room in order to pack for Forks. I watched TV for a while before going into the kitchen for a drink.

"Bella, would you like a drink?" I called to her.

"Yes please. A coke would be great" came her answer. I set out two glasses, added ice, and opened the fridge to retrieve the cans of coke.

There sitting in the center of the fridge was a huge hairy head, staring out at me.

I couldn't help the scream that erupted from my lips as soon as I saw it.

WHAT THE FUCK? I shouted in my head.

I stood there panting like an idiot as I stared at the hairy monstrosity, before realizing that it was Chewbacca.

What the hell does this mean? Did I piss someone off and they're sending me a Sicilian message?

I was vaguely aware that Bella was now standing beside me.

"Oh, shit. I forgot it was April Fool's Day." Bella muttered.

April Fool's Day? What does that even mean? Who could have done this?

I stared for a few minutes as my heart rate returned to normal, and then, suddenly the answer came to me as clear as crystal.

"Emmett" I muttered in disgust.

"I'm going to the bathroom." I added, as I abruptly left the kitchen.

I learned two things about myself that day. First, I found that if the circumstances were right, I could emulate the frightened screams of a pre-pubescent female. Second, although I was pretty sure that there existed a threshold which, if crossed, would cause me to actually shit myself. Thankfully Emmett's prank had not frightened me to that point.

I would never have lived that one down.

I did however feel a sudden, extreme urge to take a piss.

"Your brother is one sick motherfucker." I yelled from the bathroom.

I washed my hands and gazed at my reflection in the mirror. I was disgusted with myself for the scream.

"Pussy." I muttered at my reflection.

As I rounded the corner toward Bella's kitchen, I could hear her laughing and talking to someone.

"You know Emmett, someday someone is going to get even with you for all your nonsense."

What the hell? Did she plan this with him?

She was laughing and joking with her brother at my expense. I really didn't know how to process this information.

Should I be a good sport and laugh with them?

Fuck that.

"Look Emmett, I just saw you in your underwear yesterday. I have no desire to see you sporting a pair of Depends." She continued to laugh just before she finally glanced in my direction.

"Uh, Emmett, I'd better go." She squeaked out, looking a little sheepish.

"Yes"

"Bye Em."

She ended the call and had the nerve to smile at me. "Hi." She said sheepishly.

I stared at her for a moment, thinking. "Just tell me that you didn't have anything to do with that prank Bella."

"What?" She said, flustered. "Oh God no Edward. It was clearly intended for me. You just got caught in the crossfire." She said as she held back a laugh.

I could see that she was telling the truth, and was suddenly glad that I'd been the one to open that fridge. "Well, I'm glad that I was able to spare you that at least. Makes me feel a little better." I was still feeling sorry for myself.

"Yes Edward." She walked to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. "You saved me." She said with a smile.

And all was right with the world once again.

I grinned and kissed her nose. "Looking out for your welfare is my favorite thing Miss Swan, even when I'm unaware that I'm doing it."

She tilted her head "That's your favorite thing to do Edward? Really?"

I love playful Bella.

I smirked at her. "I guess not. Now that you mention it, I can think of a couple things that I like more." I said as I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers.

I then brushed my tongue across her bottom lip, she immediately parted her lips, allowing entrance. The kiss became heated, with Bella's hands tangled in my hair.

Be a fucking gentleman.

I couldn't help myself, I had to ask, both fearing and hoping for what the answer would be. "If you've changed your mind Bella, remember all you have to do is tell me." I murmured "Just one word from you baby." I whispered as I kissed down her neck and across her collar bone. "I can forget all about being a gentleman for a little while." I breathed.

I continued to kiss her until I felt her move abruptly under my hands. She suddenly reached for the fridge, slamming the door shut.

"Sorry, Chewy watching us was creeping me out." She grinned as she regained her composure. "Okay Mr. Movie Star, get your bag packed for Forks."

I chuckled and shook my head.

I guess I got my answer.

-LRM-

Bella was making a serious effort to stay awake during the ride to Forks, but I could see that she was losing the battle. Knowing caffeine would be a short-tem fix, I pulled into a convenience store just outside of Port Angeles.

She stood with me in line as I waited to pay. I couldn't help but notice how she kept fidgeting.

I thought about asking if she needed to use the rest room, but realized that would probably be an inappropriate question.

Back in the car, she settled down, but after a while got sleepy again. She had been asleep for about fifteen minutes when, from the corner of my eye, I watched her sit up suddenly and look around.

"Edward, isn't that song from Death Proof?" She asked.

"Yeah, I have a whole playlist of songs from Tarantino movies. Do you like it?"

"Sure, I guess it's okay." She answered in a weird voice. "I wasn't talking in my sleep, was I?"

I wonder what she didn't want me to hear?

"No, why?" I grinned at her.

"Um, I just watch too many movies that's all." She muttered.

I don't think I'll every completely understand how her mind works. But I hope to have the rest of our lives to find out.

-LRM-

Bella's father was still at work when we arrived. She showed me around the house. I got a particular thrill knowing that I was finally getting an inside view of the house I'd watched from across the street on Christmas night.

We ended up in Bella's bedroom, not because I had any hope of anything sexual happening, but because I craved information. I was mesmerized as I looked at all her photos. There was one with Bella's family standing alongside of the family I recognized from Christmas.

"Who are they?" I asked, trying to be nonchalant.

"Those are the Clearwaters, Harry, Sue, Leah and Seth. They're friends of the family."

"How old's that guy?" I asked while pointing at the boy.

Fucker is probably hot for Bella and she doesn't even realize it.

"Seth is probably nineteen or twenty now, I really don't keep track." She answered. "What's the problem Edward? Do you think I have a secret boyfriend or something?"

I frowned at those words.

"Edward where is this coming from? Remember me, Bella Swan, never had a date before you." She laughed lightly.

I need to snap out of it.

I sighed. "I know, I'm being silly. I'm sorry Bella. By the time I leave on Monday, I'll probably need medication. My paranoia is showing." I wound my arms around her waist as I spoke.

"Come on, let's get some lunch, and then there's someone I'd like you to meet before we go to the grocery store." She said with a smile.

My stupid jealous ass followed her downstairs.

Bella was doing a quick inventory of what she'd need to purchase at the store, when I heard a car pull up outside. It was a police car. I watched as the officer exited the vehicle and after a glance at the Mercedes, started walking to the front door. As luck would have it, I recognized him as the same cop who had stopped me on Christmas night.

Fuckity, fuck, fuck.

Feeling the urge to hide, I headed for the bathroom, mumbling an explanation as I left.

I hid inside, listening to their muffled voices, and hoping that the officer hadn't recognized the car and said anything to Bella.

As soon as I knew he was gone, I came out.

That was a close one.

"Edward if you're not feeling well, you don't have to go. I can…" Bella began.

"Don't be silly Bella. Let's go, I'm starving." I said with a big smile.

Bella directed me to the Forks coffee shop. The same restaurant where I'd hidden behind a giant elk head the day after Christmas in order to hide from her and her family.

God hates me.

Bella kept eyeing me with concern.

Probably because I'm acting like a freak.

"Edward, I'm pretty sure you don't need the glasses and hat inside."

"I don't want anyone to recognize me." I said in almost a whisper.

These fuckers are not coming off.

Our waitress ended up being the same elderly lady who waited on me in December.

Please don't let her remember me.

The woman Bella called Margie gave her a box of hot cross buns to take to her Dad. I didn't care, I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

Our next stop was Saint Anne's church. Thank God I hadn't stopped there during my stalking episode. As we sat in the back pew listening to Father Pat, I finally felt myself relax.

I thought back to a phone conversation I had with my mother earlier this week.

*flashback**

"Edward, how are you handling the fact that you have to leave Bella again?" My mother asked.

"It's difficult Mom. I worry about her so much when we're apart. She's not careful enough."

"Edward, Bella has a family that loves her and looks out for her. Now she has us too. She will be fine."

"I know. It's not just that. It seems that since the moment we found each other, we've done nothing but say goodbye." I sighed. "And then after she forgave me for my utter stupidity of a couple of weeks ago, here I am, leaving again."

I couldn't see my mother's face, but suspected that she was smiling. "Oh my poor boy. The time will pass quickly you'll see. Edward, when your father and I first married he was in his residency. We weren't separated by an ocean as you and Bella will be, but we may as well have been." She sighed. "It was a difficult time. Days would pass without seeing each other, and then even when your Dad was home, he spent most of the time catching up on precious sleep."

I'd never realized any of this. Alice, on the other hand, probably knew everything because unlike me, she'd actually spent quality time with my parents during the last several years.

"Bella understands that this is your career, as I understood that about your father." She continued.

"Mom" I hesitated. "Do you think, I mean, if I were to ask her when I came back. Do you think Bella would .."

"Yes, Edward. I think she will say yes." My mother's voice broke as she answered me.

I smiled.

After the filming was over, I'd never have to leave her for very long ever again.

**end of flashback**

After Father Pat had concluded the services for Good Friday, he came over to greet us.

"Hello there Isabella." He said as Bella hugged him.

"Hi Father Pat. I wanted you to meet Edward Cullen."

I smiled as I shook Father Pat's hand.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you Edward. Isabella's quite taken with you." Father smiled.

Bella blushed at Father's words, causing me to smirk at her embarrassment.

I chatted with Father Pat for a few minutes about the movie industry, eventually leading back to my trip.

"So Father, we'll see you for Easter dinner?" Bella asked.

"Yes, of course Isabella. I wouldn't miss it."

With that, we said our goodbyes and headed to the car. Before I started it, Bella's phone rang.

"Hey Rose" She answered.

I decided to wait until Bella was off the phone to start the engine so she would be able to direct me to the store.

"Oh sure, we're on our way there now. Let me get something to write with." She pulled out a little piece of paper. "Edward, can I look in the glove compartment for paper and pen?"

I shrugged. "You can look. I think Dad probably keeps a pen or two in there, not sure about paper."

Bella opened it and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. I glanced at her as she continued talking to Rose as she wrote. I waited patiently as she ended the call and got her list in order. Glancing out the window I noticed that most of the other cars had left the church parking lot.

Bella's voice brought my attention back to the matter at hand.

"Um, Edward, why was there a receipt in there for the Pacific Inn Motel, Forks Washington, December 25th 2009 with your name on it?"

Bella is going to leave my stupid stalking ass. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I was horrified. I'd been caught. I'd done this to myself.

Maybe if I begged?

"Bella, is there any possibility that you could forget you ever saw that?" I asked while looking at her with pleading eyes.

In response, she narrowed her eyes at me. "Oh Edward, I don't think that's going to happen." She smirked and folded her arms across her chest as she waited.

I am so fucked.

******************************************A/N**********************************************

A/N Say it together: Poooor Edward. At least he didn't crap his pants over Chewbacca. What a relief!

You know what this means…the next update will be a chapter of V&V. It's more than halfway finished. I promise to write faster if I get lots of wonderful reviews for this chapter.

I now have a very specific posting plan to get LRM and V&V caught up. Bear with me, it shouldn't take too much longer. A great big Air Kiss to all of my lovely readers and reviewers!

If I have anything else to say, as usual, I'll say it on Facebook.